Litiquette3

[rubydlite]

Chained used a hash tag....

This thread is dead to me....

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

I'm sure that there are other things that could help maintain a full chub. Like blowjobs. And big boobs.



The circle of life, indeed.



Dude, maybe you and I are long lost twins. And you know what? I even like when the boobs are big.

Shut the fuck door!

You and I, pmann, we are BROTHEEEEEEERS!

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

wait.. what's the question again?

There was a question?

 

[ChainedUp]

Yesterday was a complete derailment. Might as well have tossed in a hashtag, icing on the cake.

life online vs RL. Clearly things are different between the two but is the gap narrowing for you? Whether you allow more of yourself to exist online or your RL isn't that much different than your online life, how much of a wall is there between the two?

 

[Bitesback]

Yesterday was a complete derailment. Might as well have tossed in a hashtag, icing on the cake.

life online vs RL. Clearly things are different between the two but is the gap narrowing for you? Whether you allow more of yourself to exist online or your RL isn't that much different than your online life, how much of a wall is there between the two?

The Hoover Dam springs to mind....

I think unless there is someone with whom you feel a genuine connection and with whom you remain regularly in contact online, there can be an ebb and flow to online life vs RL dynamics. Never-the-less, I'm not expecting any cracks that may exist to develop into something more. I see that wall as a support structure, with an open window into another world.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I agree with Rainshine. It's not like I am some different person on Lit. it's not my fantasy universe where I throw caution to the wind. The only different might be that I can easily start a statement here with, "the other day in real life.."
I'm less likely to say that the opposite is true. Also, and it's a strange thing, I actually flirt more in real life. I'm going to try to not psychoanalyze that simple statement; whereas, in real life, I might do just that.

 

[rubydlite]

Yesterday was a complete derailment. Might as well have tossed in a hashtag, icing on the cake.

life online vs RL. Clearly things are different between the two but is the gap narrowing for you? Whether you allow more of yourself to exist online or your RL isn't that much different than your online life, how much of a wall is there between the two?

Uggggggggggh. ...this question...
Walls...I try to let them down...then I put them up...then the damn thing turns into a billowy curtain that won't stay put.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

A very sheer curtain. *shrug* This is just something else I do.

ok.. I'm having our DNA compared..

To be more direct regarding the question:
There is a very thin line that separates the online me from the RL me. I don't advertise that I'm here, but I wouldn't deny it if asked.

I am EXTREMELY CAUTIOUS of those who come here to be one thing, then are completely different elsewhere.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

Yesterday was a complete derailment. Might as well have tossed in a hashtag, icing on the cake.

life online vs RL. Clearly things are different between the two but is the gap narrowing for you? Whether you allow more of yourself to exist online or your RL isn't that much different than your online life, how much of a wall is there between the two?

I'm definitely the same guy here as I am in real life. Even my face is the same. I don't freely give out personal info around here for obvious reasons but I those I'm close with know me well.

 

[All_4_Love]

ok.. I'm having our DNA compared..

To be more direct regarding the question:
There is a very thin line that separates the online me from the RL me. I don't advertise that I'm here, but I wouldn't deny it if asked.

I am EXTREMELY CAUTIOUS of those who come here to be one thing, then are completely different elsewhere.

Same here, a very thin line. The only difference for me is that I haven't had to be extremely cautious because I haven't ever allowed myself to connect enough with anyone here to have to be mindful of that.

I'm definitely the same guy here as I am in real life. Even my face is the same. I don't freely give out personal info around here for obvious reasons but I those I'm close with know me well.

I used to have a picture of my face in my profile, too! I've always liked to see the people here that do that. It's like a certain type of transparency, maybe? That isn't real prevalent here.

 

[DarkSimian]

life online vs RL. Clearly things are different between the two but is the gap narrowing for you? Whether you allow more of yourself to exist online or your RL isn't that much different than your online life, how much of a wall is there between the two?

I'd like to think that I'm basically the same person here as in the real world. Maybe a little more flirty, maybe a little more brave, but still the same guy.

I would put my picture up, but I'd actually like people to talk to me. The real me scares children (and small animals).

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

I've put up many pictures of myself. Some flattering, like my av, others to point out just how goofy I really am. (enter wet hair, rollers, no makeup... because let's get real people, I'm not going to bed and getting up looking the same way. And neither are you. Your breath does NOT smell like roses when you wake up and yes...you should bathe before getting naked with someone..)
I get leery of those who only put their "best face forward" .. I like real.

That said, the current picture intentionally omits my body because I am a big girl. Never have denied that fact. but still, some people act surprised when they see me...go fucking figure...

Everyone can look beautiful or handsome. Lighting, angles, makeup.. There was a thread here at one time that showed people with and without makeup. With or without effects.. I loved that thread!

 

[Paul_Chance]

life online vs RL. Clearly things are different between the two but is the gap narrowing for you? Whether you allow more of yourself to exist online or your RL isn't that much different than your online life, how much of a wall is there between the two?

If anything, over the years, the gap widened in the sense that I have become more protective of my privacy, not that I act any different. All it takes is one serious psychotic stalker and you learn very quickly to guard any personal identifying information carefully. Personality wise, I'm just me. I'd say the shift was more that the curtain became a wall in certain areas.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

If anything, over the years, the gap widened in the sense that I have become more protective of my privacy, not that I act any different. All it takes is one serious psychotic stalker and you learn very quickly to guard any personal identifying information carefully. Personality wise, I'm just me. I'd say the shift was more that the curtain became a wall in certain areas.

Paul....always the voice of reason..

 

[SMNaughtywife]

I don't build walls as they are too permanent, but sheer curtains are too reveling. No game playing or double personality here. Genuine and sincere in every aspect. Not sure how'd I'd describe myself other than having layers. I'll share bits of myself as the comfort level increases. But if/when the comfort is finally there, barriers are dropped, is that the "real you" you're sharing?
Or is there still one more layer, the raw, what/how you really feel, no holds back "you?"

Looks back and wonders if I answered the question or answered it with more questions. Damn me.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

These days I have a rule that if you can't have me as part of your real life then I won't be part of your lit life. Sure I will chit chat but I will never connect with you on any substantial level. I have learnt it's just not what I want for my life..or yours.

brava....brava....bravissima....

 

[All_4_Love]

These days I have a rule that if you can't have me as part of your real life then I won't be part of your lit life. Sure I will chit chat but I will never connect with you on any substantial level. I have learnt it's just not what I want for my life..or yours.

I can't relate to this from any personal experience here at Lit, but I am nodding my head in deep appreciation for your outlook on this.

 

[Bitesback]

These days I have a rule that if you can't have me as part of your real life then I won't be part of your lit life. Sure I will chit chat but I will never connect with you on any substantial level. I have learnt it's just not what I want for my life..or yours.

I have the same self imposed rule and it works fine. Perhaps my rule is more theoretical, and with self defined boundaries. If I invite you into my life, I'm expecting you to respect that privilege. I don't play games and I have no time for those that do. Walls have their uses.

 

[newbiebabe]

I don't build walls as they are too permanent, but sheer curtains are too reveling. No game playing or double personality here. Genuine and sincere in every aspect. Not sure how'd I'd describe myself other than having layers. I'll share bits of myself as the comfort level increases. But if/when the comfort is finally there, barriers are dropped.

This. I don't pour out my life's story up front but I will answer questions honestly if they are asked. As a friendship develops and I learn to trust you, I'm usually comfortable sharing most of my life.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

These days I have a rule that if you can't have me as part of your real life then I won't be part of your lit life. Sure I will chit chat but I will never connect with you on any substantial level. I have learnt it's just not what I want for my life..or yours.

I definitely understand this for sure. It's like why waste your time?

I've befriended people here who'd run hot and cold and I'd never really understand what they're thinking. Or if there were ulterior motives or something else going on. Who the fuck needs that? If it gets to a point where it feels like I'm being ducked with I stay on guard. I don't need anymore pain from this place.

 

[ChainedUp]

Interesting collection of responses.

Quickie this morning. Can a single post by someone change your mind completely about them, or make you form your opinion? Has it happened to you where you see someone post and think "oh, I thought he/she was pretty cool but not now". Have you ever not posted because you know your response will be viewed as unfavorable, so it's best just to say nothing and move on?

 

[All_4_Love]

Interesting collection of responses.

Quickie this morning. Can a single post by someone change your mind completely about them, or make you form your opinion? Has it happened to you where you see someone post and think "oh, I thought he/she was pretty cool but not now". Have you ever not posted because you know your response will be viewed as unfavorable, so it's best just to say nothing and move on?

I can only refer to this thread, as it's the only one I read, other than lurking in the BDSM forum, and post on anymore, and it has been for quite some time. It feels like a sitcom to me sometimes, or the morning meet at the office water cooler. I love this place.

So, to answer the question, no, I haven't read comments by other posters here and all of a sudden formed an unfavorable opinion about them. I see people as a collection of parts that makes them whole, makes them who they are. But to judge them as a whole person just based on an opinion or thought that they share that I may not agree or relate to? Not a chance. I wouldn't let something like that change my entire opinion of someone.

If I see something that someone says in a single post that seems "off" to me, I take it with a grain of salt and move on without giving it a second thought. Life is about appreciating the differences and there are so many here to be appreciated. My daughter told me the other day that my biggest blessing, which has also been a curse, is that I see good in everyone. It's true. I do. I don't judge others because some of the facets of their personality may not be "to my liking". I loathe even typing that, as it sounds just awful to me. That said, I'm not a saint. There are some people that I don't like but they are very few and far between and it would take much more than an unfavorable outlook or opinion to make me feel that way.

I don't refrain from responding to any of the questions here out of fear that my response may be felt unfavorable. If I don't respond to something, it's based more on personal preference or exercising caution for different reasons, but not because I fear what others here will think.

 

[Bitesback]

Interesting collection of questions.

How is it a quickie, Chained, when you've proffered for discussion at least three questioning matters for our consideration? Now wondering about how the phrase 'quickie this morning' might be received in the Chained household...

I think you'd have to be very quick to judge people if you allowed a single post to completely change your opinion about someone or if you formed an opinion of him or her from the one post. If a post by someone you thought you knew was a red flag to you, and you were bothered by it, wouldn't you enquire about the context and see if you'd understood it correctly. Better yet, learn to take such things in your stride because each of us has a complex collection of thoughts and opinions, many of which change over time, and not all of which are evident here.

That said, it did happen that my opinion about someone was changed last year after that Litster needlessly caused much angst for a few members with a brief series of posts.*

I don't concern myself with what anyone might think about my posts so I've not allowed that to determine whether I add a comment to any thread.

*Ok... It happened one other time, when a Litster local to me revealed her football allegiance... But I'm not really so petty that I will hold it against her, not forever...

 

[Paul_Chance]

Interesting collection of responses.

Quickie this morning. Can a single post by someone change your mind completely about them, or make you form your opinion? Has it happened to you where you see someone post and think "oh, I thought he/she was pretty cool but not now". Have you ever not posted because you know your response will be viewed as unfavorable, so it's best just to say nothing and move on?

Let me break it down - a single post? Yes, there are certain things that I simply don't allow into my life, if someone posts something that hits one of them, then I can change my opinion of them in a single post. One of the times you get a true glimpse of the layers beneath what a person presents is what they say or do in unguarded moments, when they think either no one is looking or it doesn't matter, or when they're in the heat of anger. Whatever lurks beneath the veneer will, eventually, be directed at you. IRL I call it the waiter rule - being a waiter is a hard job, with many things out of their control. How they treat the waiter when something goes wrong with their order will show you a part of their personality they can keep well hidden - and you can rest assured that when something goes wrong in your relationship, they're going to direct that at you. Bonus points from me if the person handles it calmly, directly, firmly, but with compassion. Loss of points if they get snide, passive aggressive, or down right nasty.

Have I ever not posted? Oh sure, I often will not post if my senses tell me the poster isn't looking for a conversation, but rather venting or acting out. Simply pass it by and don't engage, they're not interested. Another place I will simply pass by is when its apparent it's two (or more) people talking exclusively to each other in a thread.

 

[All_4_Love]

Hmmm...the waiter/waitress rule. It seems quite logical. However, in my experience, I have known someone who was always, for almost 15 years consistently, polite to waitstaff and also to the majority of people in public. Behind closed doors, he was one of the most ruthless and cruel men I have ever known. There was no such thing as personal boundaries, common courtesy, or standing your ground with him. When he wanted something, or wanted his way with something, he got it...period.

I have also known someone who is consistently impatient and rude to the public. A bit unbecoming? You bet. But he also has one of the most beautiful hearts of any man I've ever known.

What the first man taught me was to pay attention to how someone treats others when they have nothing to offer them. What the second man taught me, or moreover reminded me, was that some of the most beautiful people lay underneath the roughest exteriors.