Litiquette VI

[Lord Pmann]

One of the things helping us through this quarantine shit is technology. It is truly a godsend in some ways. In others, it’s not. Specifically, I’m referring to social media.

This is based on a conversation I had with Aussie the other day. An interesting part of social media technology is that we have gotten to know the personalities of politicians, world leaders, CEOs and celebrities in real time. When they think something, they tweet it. Think of the president. 100 years ago, you had no idea about the personality of the president. You could read something in a paper. But think of the time it took for that information to get to you. Then radio came along and you could hear the voice of the president. Then TV. But there was still a delay between information. Today, it happens in real time.

I used the president as an example- please don’t go on a pro/against rant about a specific politician. This is an apolitical zone, please.

How do you feel like technology has helped you during this time? Has social media helped you stay entertained and in contact with family and friends? Or do you think it’s problematic? What are your views on on social media and it’s effects?


Cult of Personality by Living Colour

https://youtu.be/7xxgRUyzgs0

 

[Rapha1979]

I don’t really engage in social media in its most prevalent formats (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) as I neither trust the companies that run them with my personal data, nor do I think their influence and impact is particularly beneficial or healthy.

Twitter and FB, for example, just seem to be echo-chambers where likeminded people all reinforce each other’s thinking. There a real ‘them and us’ mentality where I don’t see any sort of debate or tolerance of other points of view. You’re either with me or against me and if you’re against me, you’re an idiot and I’m going to either abuse you or block you.

We had a general election in the UK in December and I had a lot of Labour-supporting friends who simply couldn’t get their head around the fact that Corbyn lost because all they see and hear on social media is other people who think like they do. They completely missed that that wasn’t how the majority of the population were thinking and certainly not how they were going to vote. Perhaps the same was true in the US when Trump beat Clinton?

Another angle is the total misrepresentation of reality on a lot of social media. People posting airbrushed, bullshit versions of their lives which then make others feel inadequate or like they’re failing. I’m good enough at beating myself up. I don’t need any help from external sources, be it on health, image, parenting, diet, material possessions, etc. It’s a proven fact that happiness and contentment are lower amongst heavy social media users. I wonder why that might be?

That said, Lit is a form of social media. As is the motoring forum I visit every day, so I definitely haven’t switch off from it completely. So I can’t really shout too loudly from my soapbox.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

I’m feeling burnt out on it like Indie, but i will say the memes I’ve seen there have helped keep me sane and laughing.

https://i.imgur.com/H2Lxvqf_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium

 

[Booboobear84]

I’m feeling burnt out on it like Indie, but i will say the memes I’ve seen there have helped keep me sane and laughing.

https://i.imgur.com/H2Lxvqf_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium

We old people are getting shaggy too.

 

[SassySheDevil]

One of the things helping us through this quarantine shit is technology. It is truly a godsend in some ways. In others, it’s not. Specifically, I’m referring to social media.

This is based on a conversation I had with Aussie the other day. An interesting part of social media technology is that we have gotten to know the personalities of politicians, world leaders, CEOs and celebrities in real time. When they think something, they tweet it. Think of the president. 100 years ago, you had no idea about the personality of the president. You could read something in a paper. But think of the time it took for that information to get to you. Then radio came along and you could hear the voice of the president. Then TV. But there was still a delay between information. Today, it happens in real time.

I used the president as an example- please don’t go on a pro/against rant about a specific politician. This is an apolitical zone, please.

How do you feel like technology has helped you during this time? Has social media helped you stay entertained and in contact with family and friends? Or do you think it’s problematic? What are your views on on social media and it’s effects?


Cult of Personality by Living Colour

https://youtu.be/7xxgRUyzgs0

I'm being careful of Social Media. I really only use Facebook. I have Tumblr, but that's just to perv on sexy gifs. I don't really talk to anyone through that.
My messengers are still my entertainment.

I'm looking forward to the end of this, just so one of my friends will shave his damn face, and stop sending me selfies every morning. He does not wear facial hair well, and he looks homeless. He sends me a picture of his hairy self. I send him a picture of a razor.
I'm staying out of all the political debates that go on, on Facebook.

I'm grateful for the chance to stay in touch with those I can't see.

As it progresses, it will get more and more invasive. I hate that every update brings more and more "Spying/tracking" I hate that all new Technology has the ability to listen. I don't have things like ALexa, or google home. But obviously I have a smart TV and smart Phone.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

Social media:
NPR:
FB: I only use for cycling
Twitter: meh/tolerable
Instagram: 80% is art related.
Tumblr: smut

I’m like Ralpha, I don’t buy into all the perfect pseudo of peoples lives.
There’s nothing unique or remotely interesting having a cookie cutter existence.

And one a side note, there’s no way in hell I’d ever buy a Coach purse. Or any boutique purse that has their logo smeared all over it.
IMO they’re ugly as a rotten potato.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I’m not a big social media user. I do use FB some; but not Twitter or Instagram. Not my thing. I like following some musicians on FB and I’m able to keep in touch with family away from me.

I dislike the political shit though. People who think this group or that group are ruining society. And the posts are just stupid. Wild conspiracy theories. Hate. Division. Blah. So shitty.

But I love the Tiger King memes. Pure brilliance.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Also... for anyone who is bored, i have this Netflix episode recommendation. It’s probably the single most insightful piece of entertainment I’ve ever seen. It’s commentary on social media and acceptance is brilliant.

Black Mirror- Season 3 Episode 1 “Nosedive”

https://youtu.be/R32qWdOWrTo

 

[StacyLeigh]

I’m incredibly thankful for technology (Microsoft Teams and Zoom) for making it possible for me to be employed for the past several years in a remote setting. The flexibility that allows in my life is priceless. During this particular time, my company has relied heavily on social promotions of our products – which has accounted for a bit of our continued growth during this time. I have social media accounts on all major platforms so that I can access and oversee my company’s social media presence, but I don’t actively use any of those accounts. Been there, done that, and I’m just not interested anymore. I oversee social media because it’s my job and someone has to, but it’s the first communication stream I could nix if leadership allowed. The only channel I’m active on is LinkedIn – it’s a great source for networking and thought leadership articles that are actually relevant/beneficial.

During this time, I’ve relied more on Zoom and Facetime to keep in touch. I’d much rather hear from the person what’s going on in their life, rather than piecemeal it together from twitter comments and insta-food pics. Of course social media can be problematic - wasting time with mindless scrolling, triggering more sadness due to the isolation it brings, creating jealousy and feelings of inadequacy by setting up a platform for comparisons. I’m a firm believer in personal responsibility and mostly feel it’s the user’s responsibility to put the tech away if it’s becoming a problem – but I know that not everyone works that way. Even just last night I found myself mindlessly scrolling Lit, while ignoring a phone call from my mom, and feeling twinges of jealously from a just a few words on a post. It happens! But then I decided to simply disconnect.

 

[Pervy_Sage]

Also... for anyone who is bored, i have this Netflix episode recommendation. It’s probably the single most insightful piece of entertainment I’ve ever seen. It’s commentary on social media and acceptance is brilliant.

Black Mirror- Season 3 Episode 1 “Nosedive”

https://youtu.be/R32qWdOWrTo

Black Mirror is trippy in all of the best ways. It’s a brilliant show.

 

[Daisy_Love]

I’m really grateful for social media at the moment. It’s helped me keep in touch with family and friends, being able to see them makes me feel more connected.

I don’t buy into the ‘perfection personified’ lifestyle some people portray on social media. People only post what they want you to see. I know a few of my friends portray a very happy, flashy, perfect lifestyle and I know it’s far from it but they persist in pretending. Not sure if that’s just for the purpose of maintaining a ‘front’ or if they think pretending it is perfect then maybe it will be?

I think for some people who become too embroiled in social media, it’s dangerous. People can become obsessed, feeling they must achieve what they perceive others’ have etc. This can have a real detrimental effect on mental health, feelings of inadequacy etc.

It’s all bullshit. We shouldn’t feel we have to compete with others. There’s always going to be someone richer, prettier, more successful, more intelligent etc etc

 

[hotwords229_A]

During the previous industrial revolution people started driving cars. They didn’t start off with seatbelts, roads, traffic lights or anti-lock brakes. They were the test dummies. They drove off cliffs, crashed into each other and ran out of gas in the desert and had to resort to cannibalism (I assume).

Today, we are the test dummies for social media. It’s new (relatively) and changing society. But it’s up to us to muck through the ugly parts, figure out what works and what doesn’t. We’re not all going to make it through to the golden age of social media, but somebody has to take the first step.

Just like the first car drivers before us we make mistakes, bad things happen, some good things happen and eventually it will all get sorted out.

Today our cars drive themselves, communicate with satellites and have led to numerous homoerotic Fast & Furious movies.

In 50-100 years perhaps social media will contribute to society, but right now it feels like it’s driving us off a cliff. Also, Facebook is dumb.

 

[Orchidea73]

Black Mirror is trippy in all of the best ways. It’s a brilliant show.

Agreed. Brilliant show.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

1. Way to outst me as someone who has an actual friend here. Jerk!

2. I wrote a spectacular reply earlier today and accidentally closed my browser. That'll teach me to try and keep my lit shenanigans incognito. It's even more annoying because it was long and yet to the point. So here goes take two.

3. Take two: I was an early adopter of Facebook. I opted to sign up for Facebook over MySpace. You know, back in the days of Napster, ICQ, and MSN Messenger (man do I miss those nudges that shook your whole screen. The internet isn't the same since!)..? Facebook was great back then, but it wasn't inclusive and there certainly were no guardrails. As Facebook has evolved I've liked it less and less. I finally got rid of my account in January.

But... Facebook was great for some things. I met my husband in a Facebook group back in 2008. That's the reason I'm where I am now. I also joined some fantastic support groups over the years that really helped me during some tough medical journeys. I also used it as a convenient cloud storage for photos.

I initially struggled to make sense of the world post Facebook. I felt forgotten and annoyed when companies only had a Facebook page. I realised how much of my life was tied to the platform and it is alarming. I am eternally grateful that I gave up and "detoxed" before the pandemic really hit the ground here. I don't think I could have summoned the courage to leave when it felt like my life was falling apart. The ironic thing is that not being on Facebook and insulating myself from everyone else's opinion has been the best thing for me during this time. When I think about it, people don't just go around stating their opinion in every interaction in real life but because social media interactions are intense (a lot of data in a short amount of time) it's easy to get oversaturated. That can be addicting and really hard to learn for to slow back down and be comfortable with your own thoughts.

Now, I'm really intentional about the time I spend interacting with people online. I'm also very intentional about the media I consume and when. I need time alone to process what I learn and form opinions. I couldn't do that with all the noise that social media constantly provided.

I have noticed that when I take photos, I am very careful to avoid mess around the house people probably think I'm cleaner than I actually am That's about as filtered as I get. People know I don't wear makeup and I don't hide that in my photos. But that's all moot now, anyways.

 

[Trekka]

That episode of black mirror is so fucked up! (Well, every episode is, I suppose...)

Social media and I don’t get along.

I’m a late adopter of all tech. I only joined FB maybe ten years ago? Because I lived far from friends and wanted to easily see their baby pics and wedding photos.

Facebook now makes me nauseous. I rarely go on, and if I do, it’s with a purpose- like to find a band or a farmers market.
Instagram flashes so many visuals so fast I feel like I’m gonna have a seizure.
Twitter dumbfounds me. 140 characters? Really?
Tumblr used to be my go to for porn but then they screwed the pooch on that one and now I’m rarely there.
I tried Snapchat because the younguns at work wanted to share vacation videos. I can’t.
My kids are all doing TikTok dances. It’s cute. I’ll learn them by proxy.
Sometimes I do Pinterest. Sometimes.

Honestly it all tends to stress me out. I can’t deal with the extra mental noise.

So, social media doesn’t have much utility for me. I text and call friends, get and share pics that way. I read news on different websites- I check out the same story on 3 or 4 different news platforms to try to find what I suspect is the middle ground, if I’m really interested. I don’t get my news from social media. I don’t trust it. The memes don’t do it for me- I’ll let my friends text me those. Thanks for scrolling so I don’t have to! Life’s quieter for me this way. Mentally healthier. For me, at least.

My BF scrolls like a maniac and it soothes him.
I honestly don’t like scrolling. It kinda makes me motion sick.

Also, I find I take in information a lot faster via text than images or video. One of the reasons I like lit. And if I want directions on how to do something I’m far more likely to google written instructions than watch a YouTube video.

I will say that the last two months - I’m grateful for FaceTime and Zoom and etc. Have used video to talk to people more in the last two months than in the entirety of my life prior.

So, I’m happy to have some tools right now to feel a little less isolated.

But social media aren’t the tools I use. There’s too much *ick* just beneath the surface, like everyone ^up there has said (data collection, feeding me what they think I wanna see, people posting fake-happy or skin deep materialistic things.

Also! In my moms golden years she’s become a social media addict— has tens of thousands of twitter followers — announces to me all the time how many new followers she’s acquired — sends me ridiculous news clips, unvetted, from twitter. She wants to be an “influencer.” It’s bizarro.

I’m like “Mom, you know your brain gets a hit of dopamine every time someone retweets what you said?” She stares at me blankly like so the fuck what. They’ve done studies— you know what else gives the brain an equal hit of dopamine? A hug.

May the rush from “likes” never become greater than real hugs. That is my hope for mankind.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

May the rush from “likes” never become greater than real hugs. That is my hope for mankind.

Now this I'm seriously going to put on a t-shirt.

 

[Matthew82]

1. Are you a grudge holder when you are angry? Nope, life is too short.

2. Are you a hothead who loses your temper? Unfortunately I inherited this from my father. Mostly due to lack of patience in some things. I go out of my way to not pass this along. It also surfaces quite a lot when I feel like I'm letting those down that depend on me or make feel as though I have no self worth.

3. What are your thoughts on makeup sex? It's a good thing if it ever happened.

 

[Matthew82]

How do you feel like technology has helped you during this time? I'm very thankful for technology. Luckily in my line of work I've been able to maintain employment and have been busier than I'd like to be. I feel guilty at times because of so many struggling and those that have lost businesses due to the pandemic. It can be lifesaver, but it can also be a crutch and in many cases a weapon.

Has social media helped you stay entertained and in contact with family and friends? Or do you think it’s problematic? It has it's place for wasting time as far as entertainment goes. Been able to have a few zoom happy hours with friends. It's problematic when you replace technology with real life connections. As long as you're aware of the balance, I don't believe it to be problematic.

What are your views on on social media and it’s effects? Social Media can be the best thing while also being the worst. I have a very love/hate relationship with Facebook and lean towards the later more often. People are quick to judge and are all of a sudden an expert in a field they've read a few articles on. Pro-Vaccine/Anti Vaccine; Right Wing vs Left Wing. I'm right, you're ignorant and stupid. It splits people so easily and there's no room to meet in the middle. The world of keyboard gangsters with no consequence of their actions and trolls are a pet peeve but try to not waste time worrying about them as they are sad people to me. I love the fact that we have virtually endless knowledge at our fingertips and how much easier life is; but I also fear the disconnect. Look at documentaries like Don't Fuck with Cats and Slenderman to see the horror of internet/social media. Think about the untrusting nature of people now - parents not letting their children play freely in the neighborhood because we have limitless access to news stories about kidnappings and molestation. I'm sure it was always happening, but it wasn't so in your face. Technology made the world better in so many ways, yet made it scarier in others.

Side Note: Black Mirror is brilliant TV because after each episode, you have something to discuss. Love media like that.

 

[blade_rocknut]

That episode of black mirror is so fucked up! (Well, every episode is, I suppose...)

Social media and I don’t get along.

I’m a late adopter of all tech. I only joined FB maybe ten years ago? Because I lived far from friends and wanted to easily see their baby pics and wedding photos.

Facebook now makes me nauseous. I rarely go on, and if I do, it’s with a purpose- like to find a band or a farmers market.
Instagram flashes so many visuals so fast I feel like I’m gonna have a seizure.
Twitter dumbfounds me. 140 characters? Really?
Tumblr used to be my go to for porn but then they screwed the pooch on that one and now I’m rarely there.
I tried Snapchat because the younguns at work wanted to share vacation videos. I can’t.
My kids are all doing TikTok dances. It’s cute. I’ll learn them by proxy.
Sometimes I do Pinterest. Sometimes.

Honestly it all tends to stress me out. I can’t deal with the extra mental noise.

So, social media doesn’t have much utility for me. I text and call friends, get and share pics that way. I read news on different websites- I check out the same story on 3 or 4 different news platforms to try to find what I suspect is the middle ground, if I’m really interested. I don’t get my news from social media. I don’t trust it. The memes don’t do it for me- I’ll let my friends text me those. Thanks for scrolling so I don’t have to! Life’s quieter for me this way. Mentally healthier. For me, at least.

My BF scrolls like a maniac and it soothes him.
I honestly don’t like scrolling. It kinda makes me motion sick.

Also, I find I take in information a lot faster via text than images or video. One of the reasons I like lit. And if I want directions on how to do something I’m far more likely to google written instructions than watch a YouTube video.

I will say that the last two months - I’m grateful for FaceTime and Zoom and etc. Have used video to talk to people more in the last two months than in the entirety of my life prior.

So, I’m happy to have some tools right now to feel a little less isolated.

But social media aren’t the tools I use. There’s too much *ick* just beneath the surface, like everyone ^up there has said (data collection, feeding me what they think I wanna see, people posting fake-happy or skin deep materialistic things.

Also! In my moms golden years she’s become a social media addict— has tens of thousands of twitter followers — announces to me all the time how many new followers she’s acquired — sends me ridiculous news clips, unvetted, from twitter. She wants to be an “influencer.” It’s bizarro.

I’m like “Mom, you know your brain gets a hit of dopamine every time someone retweets what you said?” She stares at me blankly like so the fuck what. They’ve done studies— you know what else gives the brain an equal hit of dopamine? A hug.

May the rush from “likes” never become greater than real hugs. That is my hope for mankind.

That last sentence....

Yep.

I lurk on Facebook more than I post these days, though I will occasionally share a meme or news story along with a lengthy rant/ commentary/ directive in order to provoke thought among the few who care to think beyond headlines and clips. It's less fun since I got a business page and hence keep it more vanilla than in the past.

I have a few folks I follow on IG. Not sure why. IG was great for me when I had a profile for Rochelle, and connected there with dozens of people with similar life experiences.

I refuse to tweet.

I have a relatively small circle with whom I use Snapchat, because funny selfies, easily edited.

I purged my Tumblr and Fetlife existences last year, as they'd gotten too consumptive of my energy. Tumblr wasn't worth the trouble anymore. My femme Instagram went away also.

I sacrificed all that so I could have time to come here and beg for boobs with you pervs.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I’m curious to here how we all got started as creepers on the internet. At some point, we all became pervy little fuckers and it spilled onto the internet. And here we are on a sex forum.

Keeping in mind forum guidelines about age (you may want to be vague about the age you use), when did you first get pervy on the internet? What medium? Any good stories? You know I love a good story.


Summer of 69 by Bryan Adams

https://youtu.be/9f06QZCVUHg

 

[Rapha1979]

I’ve been using the internet for sexual purposes since the age of dial up and needing to enter credit card details to see anything interesting! Ah, happy memories of the days of waiting 10 minutes for a single picture to load line-by-line.

If my younger self had known the torrent of filth that is available now, I think it might have blown my tiny mind. And all free. What a time to be alive.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

I’ve had a couple of men tell me I missed my calling and could have been a great phone sex operator. Sadly, the days of making a $1.99 per minute giving voice thrills to lonely men hiding in their bathroom has passed me by.
#missedopportunities

 

[RickTango]

My first encounter with sexuality on-line started with a pay by the minute service CompuServe's Human Sexuality Forums. I believe it was in the late 80’s and technically before the internet. Some of those monthly charges got out of hand...

 

[StacyLeigh]

Keeping in mind forum guidelines about age (you may want to be vague about the age you use), when did you first get pervy on the internet? What medium? Any good stories? You know I love a good story.

I started way back in the days of AIM. While my friends and I used it mainly to chat with each other, we all eventually made our ways to the chat rooms. First rooms based on location and then...others. I was so naïve at the time I can only imagine what kind of creeps were on there hiding in sheep's clothing.

Good story? The cliff notes version: The first guy I ever "cybered" with I met in an AIM/AOL chat room. He became a great friend of mine and eventually married my best friend.

It was about that same time that I started reading stories on Lit. I didn't join the forum until I was 29. I jumped into it way too fast and pulled back a few times but keep returning to the land of pervs.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Mine was on AOL messenger. I was probably in the 9th or 10th grade. However, I was very stupid so I was obviously 18 at the time and this entire story takes place post 18. But I usually posed as older than I was. Let’s say college aged... maybe 20.

I remember the sex chat rooms. I would always try to find women who were in their mid 30s to talk to. I didn’t want to talk to people my age. I wanted to talk to MILFs, I guess.

I remember one lady (who was the worst writer I’ve ever seen) giving me a lecture on how to describe how to take a girl’s bra off. She clearly had a thesaurus or something and overused adjectives like I’ve never seen. She kept using the word “juxtaposed” like it was on her Word of the Day calendar or something. But she showed me her boobs. I had n

I remember how slowly those dial up modems would load pictures. I had a 56k modem (at some point that was considered screaming fast). Line by line the pics kid. And these weren’t digital images. So for a girl to show her boobs, she had to have an ACTUAL pic of her boobs. And then scan it. That’s weird to think about... I mean, no one has scanned a picture in the last 10 years.