Litiquette VI

[Fermina_Daza]

I'll ship a case forward.



Yeah, they do sometimes. And, sympathy. That is just so unacceptable.

My anxiety is something I can’t control. When the media reported record blood donations after 9/11 and then record number of people being diagnosed with HIV, I made myself physically ill with fear until I finally saw my doctor, got tested, and was fine. Then a few months later when my migraines unexpectedly worsened I was convinced I had a brain tumor. Since a young age I could work myself up in a frenzy about things I could never control - like in elementary when we watched a film in school about the sun becoming so hot it would devour earth.

*shakes it off*

 

[Dribble]

We all struggle. Those that say they dont are fucking liars. The best advice I can share? No matter what...you are not alone. Never be afraid to reach out. Me in my head is my worst enemy.

I commend you pmann for opening this conversation.

 

[Fermina_Daza]

We all struggle. Those that say they dont are fucking liars. The best advice I can share? No matter what...you are not alone. Never be afraid to reach out. Me in my head is my worst enemy.

I commend you pmann for opening this conversation.

*Sneaks in and adds second secret song of the day You're Not Alone - ATB and passes out virtual hugs - the safest kind right now.*

 

[LurkingPhoenix]

As someone who has battled depression for his entire adult life with minimal intervention/assistance...foolishly...

The biggest part of everything is realizing you aren't alone. There's help if you need it. Use it, and don't be afraid. The stigma has faded (a lot). Your mental health is just that...health. treat it as such. Ask for help.

I'm prone to depressive cycles. I know they're happening and have learned to cope and adjust. Those that care for me have seen them and aren't afraid to tell me if they see it.

That kind of support and openness is a blessing.

 

[blade_rocknut]

We all struggle. Those that say they dont are fucking liars. The best advice I can share? No matter what...you are not alone. Never be afraid to reach out. Me in my head is my worst enemy.

I commend you pmann for opening this conversation.

No; we're not fucking liars. Some of us don't really struggle with depression or anxiety. That's why there's a stigma. My wife struggles with anxiety on the daily, and cyclically with depression. Turns out, the last bout of severe depression correlated directly with taking Singulair for severe allergies.
Go figure.

But...even those of us who don't really struggle need to be empathetic to those who do. I'm a pretty decisive person, so I don't waffle a whole lot on the conflicting factors in my life. I try to achieve a balance, or impasse and roll with it.
More trans people than not *do* struggle with depression and anxiety. I got lucky and found a partner who doesn't force me to choose a rigid state, so I don't have to fret so much.
I'm fortunate. Empathetic, but fortunate.

 

[Endless_Night]

Popping in to say it's nice to see people posting that don't usually inhabit the thread. We piffle a lot here, but we hit the serious subjects as well. The wider view offered by a variety of posters is appreciated and welcomed.


Really struggling not to take that post down! Not so much my own stuff, but posting stuff about family members, and my struggles coping with them is…tough. We'll see where I am tomorrow.

#lunaticfringe

Always.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

I have been challenged by mental health issues most of my life. Depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder run through several generations on my mother’s side of the family. My mother and her mother both suffer from PTSD as well. I was lucky, in that I was part of the first generation of our family for whom mental health care was considered as something valid.

I have been inpatient twice in my life, both times for major depressive disorder with suicidal ideation. The first time was at 14 years old. The second was at 38, when my psychiatrist and I were attempting to make changes to my medication regimen due to significant sexual side effects and increased severity of depressive symptoms. Some pretty bleak times.

Things aren’t perfect. I still struggle with depression and anxiety, but I can make it through the day. Though there are dark days, I can find pleasure and peace as well. I take two medications daily and one as needed. I believe that the more people tell their stories, the less stigma there will be. Thanks for bringing up the topic Pmann. Thanks to everyone for sharing your experiences.

 

[hotwords229_A]

It wouldn’t be such a bad thing to teach mental health in school. Instead of just offering help to the kids who may need it, MAKE them learn it. Algebra is completely unnecessary to most of us and should be an elective study. Mental health should be mandatory; depression, anxiety, social discomfort, suicide, all of it should be discussed and put out on the table bare for all to see and learn from.
Just my opinion.
I also never understood why soldiers coming back from war aren’t required to have counseling. Think of how much PTSD and suicide could be prevented by making these people deal with their trauma. They’re soldiers—they literally have to do what they’re told. Force them to go through a decompression. It’s stupid that we don’t do this.

The amount of totally unnecessary suffering, suicide, mass shootings, homelessness, sorrow, addiction, etc. that could be prevented is staggering, if we just focused more on mental health as a society.

There’s help for everything. The ability to relieve so many years of struggle can be dealt with so much faster than it seems. It’s hard to convince someone who is struggling how quickly their world can change, for the better, if they just take that step.

 

[JennyNo1]

It wouldn’t be such a bad thing to teach mental health in school. Instead of just offering help to the kids who may need it, MAKE them learn it. Algebra is completely unnecessary to most of us and should be an elective study. Mental health should be mandatory; depression, anxiety, social discomfort, suicide, all of it should be discussed and put out on the table bare for all to see and learn from.
Just my opinion.
I also never understood why soldiers coming back from war aren’t required to have counseling. Think of how much PTSD and suicide could be prevented by making these people deal with their trauma. They’re soldiers—they literally have to do what they’re told. Force them to go through a decompression. It’s stupid that we don’t do this.

The amount of totally unnecessary suffering, suicide, mass shootings, homelessness, sorrow, addiction, etc. that could be prevented is staggering, if we just focused more on mental health as a society.

There’s help for everything. The ability to relieve so many years of struggle can be dealt with so much faster than it seems. It’s hard to convince someone who is struggling how quickly their world can change, for the better, if they just take that step.

Can we please put this man in charge of...something?

I gotta say, I'm impressed with the way Pmann is moderating this thread -kudos!

I have only had one serious bout with anxiety, many years ago. I went on an SSRI and was fine, and I learned lots of techniques to deal with the occasional attack. Then a couple of years ago a doctor told me to get off of the one I was taking at the time because it was toxic to the liver. I decided not to get on another one, and after a couple of months of discontinuation symptoms, I'm now fine as far as the anxiety goes, and I can actually FEEL things again. I hadn't really cried in years, and it feels good to have real emotions again. I know my mental problems weren't as debilitating as many people's, but at least I can empathize with that helpless feeling of being out of control of your feelings and thoughts to some extent.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Talking of medication and depressive moods- after my surgery a few years back I had the Mirena IUD inserted. Within a couple of days I was suicidal, curled up at my husband's feet on the floor and unable to move. As soon as my doctor removed it I felt immediately better. It took a few weeks to stabilize and I'm NEVER using hormonal birth control again.

 

[Fermina_Daza]

It’s been interesting to read some people say medication makes them feel like shit or not feel at all. A friend of mine experienced.the “no feels” on one medication but not on another. And I’m the opposite - without medication it feel like a floodgate if feels and I’m drowning in them. I wasn’t on anything while pregnant and “road kill” would have me in tears. I gave up eating meat. That level of emotion is exhausting. No thanks.

I also had problems with Mirena. Hormonal birth control is the devil. If we started fucking with men’s hormones as a form of birth control there might be fewer men trying to regulate women’s reproductive health.

 

[numeniusa]

Tough topic, some brilliant answers, I've learned a lot.

I've only experienced any of this at second-hand, but this advice from SH75 resonated a lot for me, based on things loved ones who suffer have said:

<snip>
Always be sure to keep the lines of communication open.
Don't be afraid to bring the subject up or ask someone if they are ok.
Don't try to fix them, they aren't broken.
Don't tell someone to just be happy, it is not a choice thats being made to not feel happy.
Be aware that a lot of people with mental illness will live with it for their whole lives but with the right support will learn to manage it. So be patient
Educate yourself to be better equipped to offer support.
Don't feel like you have to have solutions or answers, just listen and validate feelings.
And most importantly just let it be known that in you, a place of love, safety and acceptance exists.

Companies here are getting better at this stuff, appointing and training mental health champions and so on, but there's a way to go generally. And it seems to me that medicine also has a way to go. A very dear friend descended into a horrible depression a few years ago, and it took a long time and a lot of tinkering with her prescription before she began to get back to her previous self. In the end, she found some things which helped her outside of her drug regime, including acupuncture, spending time outdoors and a particular form of dancing. Maybe it was the right prescription finally, maybe she was just cycling out of it naturally, I don't know. But there doesn't seem to be a magic bullet drug for reliably rebalancing brain chemistry yet. The will is there amongst the scientists, I'm sure, but it seems like a really difficult condition to medicate successfully, without introducing nasty side-effects.

 

[blade_rocknut]

It’s been interesting to read some people say medication makes them feel like shit or not feel at all. A friend of mine experienced.the “no feels” on one medication but not on another. And I’m the opposite - without medication it feel like a floodgate if feels and I’m drowning in them. I wasn’t on anything while pregnant and “road kill” would have me in tears. I gave up eating meat. That level of emotion is exhausting. No thanks.

I also had problems with Mirena. Hormonal birth control is the devil. If we started fucking with men’s hormones as a form of birth control there might be fewer men trying to regulate women’s reproductive health.

Everyone is so different.

My ex wife was her best self with mirena; it seemed to balance her better than anything she'd ever had. Had it removed and a tubal done, as we were positive of no further desire for kids...the first time she'd been cold turkey off hormonal alteration since a teen.
It was not a good result, and I still blame her doctor for not being more thorough in discussing things. We separated 6 months later, after living with someone who I'd generously describe as being in 24/7/365 PMS. From the mood swings, severe acne, feeling bloated, volatility, and an absolute aversion to any and all things sexual.
I mentioned a few times I thought she needed to see an endo, not her ob/gyn...but you can imagine how that conversation went, as she took it as an insult that I'd imply she had a problem.

I would've gladly stuck it out had there been a path to follow toward improvement, but I'd liken the situation to being the sober person at a party trying to convince their drunk friend that they're drunk and shouldn't drive.

 

[Endless_Night]

It’s been interesting to read some people say medication makes them feel like shit or not feel at all. >

I find this interesting, too. I love the ADHD meds. Love them. They solve all the problems I have when I'm under stress. No anxiety, no depression, no beating myself up. I can freaking focus for more than five minutes at a time. Actually retain what I just read.

I CAN REMEMBER PEOPLES' NAMES

LOL. Sounds strange, but I am so not kidding.

But.

I am…I hesitate to call it empathetic because that's not the right word. It's more of a sensing. I sense people. If I stand near them. Their emotion. How they feel. What they are thinking. It's like an extra sense. One that helps level the playing field for me.

All that stuff just rolls off them in waves. But I can't *feel* it on the meds. They dull things just enough that I lose the ability. The best way I can describe it is to say it would be like someone else waking up one day unable to hear.

I have a strong aversion to dumping chemicals into my body, but that^ is the main driver for my finding ways to manage on my own.

It's not always easy. I've been struggling these last few months since my accident and surgery. Months of not being able to run. It has kicked me hard. Always such a struggle to get back up. However, I've done it many times. Perseverance.

 

[The_gladiator]

It wouldn’t be such a bad thing to teach mental health in school. Instead of just offering help to the kids who may need it, MAKE them learn it. Algebra is completely unnecessary to most of us and should be an elective study. Mental health should be mandatory; depression, anxiety, social discomfort, suicide, all of it should be discussed and put out on the table bare for all to see and learn from.
Just my opinion.
I also never understood why soldiers coming back from war aren’t required to have counseling. Think of how much PTSD and suicide could be prevented by making these people deal with their trauma. They’re soldiers—they literally have to do what they’re told. Force them to go through a decompression. It’s stupid that we don’t do this.

The amount of totally unnecessary suffering, suicide, mass shootings, homelessness, sorrow, addiction, etc. that could be prevented is staggering, if we just focused more on mental health as a society.

There’s help for everything. The ability to relieve so many years of struggle can be dealt with so much faster than it seems. It’s hard to convince someone who is struggling how quickly their world can change, for the better, if they just take that step.

I do agree it needs taught in school. I disagree that you can force soldiers to get counseling. As a therapist myself. I have seen how not affective counseling is when the individual does not want the help or does not participate fully. I have worked with those ordered to addiction treatment, but the ones who get better are the ones who put in the work and actually want the help. You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink. I do however think the stigma against counseling being weakness and such with soldiers should be combatted so maybe more would seek out the help.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I'd like to thank everyone for such a healthy, lively discussion on a topic that is really tough for many people to discuss. Thanks for the stories and the support to all of those out there who might be struggling. As well, thanks to those who were willing to share their own personal stories. Admittedly, it's not easy. So thank you all.

A lighter subject for today... What religion are you? I'm kidding. Let's see...

Coronavirus- there's some crazy shit going on right now. It sounds like we are all gonna get this thing and we are all gonna die. At least, according to Facebook- my only news source.

Where are you on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being you're fucking hookers with no condom and 10 being you're hoarding toilet paper like the coronavirus makes you lose control over your bowels. The Shitpocalypse. This is a brilliant time for us introverts.

Are you taking precautions? Avoiding people? Protecting your anus?

People Are Strange- The Doors
https://youtu.be/j0Mz_IqpZX8

 

[shynerdgirl]

I'm about a 5. Being in the low-risk group in a country with few infections, I'm treating it as a I did with SARS, and avian and swine flu: it's bad, but if I take precautions I'll be okay.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Atheist with a touch of druid curiosity.

As for corona- I have an elevated susceptibility to viral respiratory infections and associated complications, so I've been advised to isolate myself for 4 weeks. My husband was told this morning that a coworker tested positive. He's not sure who it was and if he's had contact, but he will be telecommuting for a month, as will almost all of his coworkers.

We're set to ride this out as needed. I've got food and although I don't buy bottled water, I trust the water supply will remain working.

I was sent photos of the local supermarket today and it's chaos out there.

I'm wearing underwear which I've found to be an effective strategy to avoid most accidental anal intrusions.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I have worked with those ordered to addiction treatment, but the ones who get better are the ones who put in the work and actually want the help. You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink. I do however think the stigma against counseling being weakness and such with soldiers should be combatted so maybe more would seek out the help.

I agree with all of this. I guess my point is that you can (and should) lead a horse to water so he knows where it is when he needs it.

Where are you on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being you're fucking hookers with no condom and 10 being you're hoarding toilet paper like the coronavirus makes you lose control over your bowels. The Shitpocalypse. This is a brilliant time for us introverts.

Are you taking precautions? Avoiding people? Protecting your anus?

People Are Strange- The Doors
https://youtu.be/j0Mz_IqpZX8

I'm about a 1.3? I'm concerned about other people, but otherwise I'd rather think about other things.

I am trying to create a helicopter in case I need to make a hasty exit, though.

I've been avoiding people and protecting my bunghole since I was born.

 

[tnman03]

I wouldn’t say that I’m anymore at risk than anyone else in all of this and I always avoid crowds and places with sick people during the cold and flu season. My household consumables are always kept up to date so that’s no concern. OTC meds are the same. Food stocks are alright, I should have bought a freezer earlier but didn’t, otherwise, I’d have more frozen veggies and meats. But the worst case I can get by on beans and rice if things get tight. Overall the public panic and its potential to really get worse is my biggest concern. I really suggest that once this phase of the CORVID-19 virus is on the wane that everyone restocks and lay in some long term food supplies because it’s just a good idea to do so.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I actually need to buy toilet paper for normal use, but I don't want to go to the store and be seen as one of "those" people.

 

[tnman03]

I actually need to buy toilet paper for normal use, but I don't want to go to the store and be seen as one of "those" people.

If you don't have any now then good luck finding any. I needed some for resupply myself and noticed they had it at a Dollar General store so I got the usual big bundle of it. Everyone was buying it but no one was being nuts about it.

 

[hotwords229_A]

If you don't have any now then good luck finding any. I needed some for resupply myself and noticed they had it at a Dollar General store so I got the usual big bundle of it. Everyone was buying it but no one was being nuts about it.

Yeah, it's still in stores here-at least the non-brand name stuff is. It's good to know that people in a panic still have standards.

 

[Endless_Night]

Atheist with a touch of druid curiosity. >

I was going with agnostic with a background in neo-pagan and druidry.


Eh. I'll go with 5.

I'm slightly higher risk, so self-isolating for the next couple of weeks. A tendency to allergy-based asthma. My lungs are not pristine.

I'd probably be doing it anyway, though. I really cannot handle the people panic.

 

[Endless_Night]

LOL. Liking that new AV, tinman.


Non-name brand toilet paper!?

*tries not to think about Hotwords potty situation*