Litiquette VI

[tnman03]

It usually goes something like...

<grumble, grumble, grumble>

"Bitch said what?!"

<grumble, grumble, grumble>

This sounds like it'd make a great audio post.


And overall I think the list of reasons Trekka listed is about the aptest. In some way or another, all of us do a post check on someone here for whatever the reasons. But that isn't the same thing as post stalking or spending obsessive time investigating or snooping.

 

[Suz_anne]

In some way or another, all of us do a post check on someone here for whatever the reasons. But that isn't the same thing as post stalking or spending obsessive time investigating or snooping.

Tomato, tomat-oh

 

[Lord Pmann]

Aww Pmann you still have the shovel I gave you!

Yes. I buried those bodies just like you paid me to.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

This really is such a good thread and, now that Chained is touring in his one man burlesque show, it has fallen off the face of the planet. Maybe we can revive it. But he was quite good at coming up with topics every day and is very dedicated to the thread.

I will pose a question today:

Post stalking- how stalkery are you? I mean, there are a few different levels of post stalking.

1. You have the “hey they look interesting, let’s see what this pmann guy is about” level of stalking. It’s casual. Not creepy. And I’m flattered by it.

2. “I’m in love with this person and I’m interested in everything they have to say, so I’m going to adoringly see what they’ve been up to.”

3. “I NEED TO SEE WHAT THIS PERSON IS DOING AND WHO ELSE IS FLIRTING WITH THEM.”

4. *knock knock* “I read your posts and I wanted to show up at your house and bring you the boiled head of your pet rabbit.”

There are likely some levels in between too. Where do you fall? Have you ever been obsessively stalked? Or been an obsessive stalker? Let’s hear the stories. Be open. This is a safe place.

I must be the laziest person on Lit, my post stalking is at a .334
Steer clear of the drama, long drawn out posts, walking wounded and super freak pervs.
I don’t really post stalk newbies that end up in my inbox.
I’ll pick their brain, take notes and do my own very down and dirty analysis.
It’s like playing doctor.

 

[Endless_Night]

It usually goes something like...

<grumble, grumble, grumble>

"Bitch said what?!"

<grumble, grumble, grumble>

Ahhhhhh. That sounds like a candidate for the Lit Lexicon.


(Now where did I put that thing? )

 

[Endless_Night]

< I don’t really post stalk newbies that end up in my inbox.
I’ll pick their brain, take notes and do my own very down and dirty analysis.
It’s like playing doctor.

Interesting.

I make judgments (hate to use that word, but….) based on how a poster interacts with others. Are they douchey? Whiney? Mean spirited? Are they overbearing? Rude? Consistently trying to monitor others' behavior? Are they relentlessly passive aggressive?

ARE THEY WILLFULLY OBTUSE

(Pet peeve, that one. )

Do they have a sense of humor I can get behind?


*reads back*


Huh. I really am quite the judge-y thing! Maybe it's time to quit reading my own posts.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Interesting.

I make judgments (hate to use that word, but….) based on how a poster interacts with others . . .

ARE THEY WILLFULLY OBTUSE

(Pet peeve, that one. )

https://66.media.tumblr.com/27c57dea3e8dfbd316f2363612fb9235/tumblr_mo5a0kj7KI1ry46hlo1_500.gif

We all judge. And we should. I think society would be a lot better with a little more judgement. I think it's how we judge that matters.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I must be the laziest person on Lit, my post stalking is at a .334
Steer clear of the drama, long drawn out posts, walking wounded and super freak pervs.
I don’t really post stalk newbies that end up in my inbox.
I’ll pick their brain, take notes and do my own very down and dirty analysis.
It’s like playing doctor.

You realize .334 is a great batting avg, right?

 

[Lord Pmann]

Question for today...

Friends... There are lots of difference people on this site. Lots of friendly faces and boobs and dicks with whom you may connect. But sometimes friendships aren't so simple.

Inevitably, person A become friends with person B. But person B is friends with person C. Well person A thinks that person C is a cunt; that's why they're named person C. Then comes the divide. A Sophie's Choice, if you will.

Sometimes people give their friends ultimatums- you're not loyal to me if you are friends with me and this person. "It's either me or this pmann character!"

Has this happened to you? How do you handle being friends with two people who dislike each other? Do you just ignore it? Do you defend the friend?

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Question for today...

Friends... There are lots of difference people on this site. Lots of friendly faces and boobs and dicks with whom you may connect. But sometimes friendships aren't so simple.

Inevitably, person A become friends with person B. But person B is friends with person C. Well person A thinks that person C is a cunt; that's why they're named person C. Then comes the divide. A Sophie's Choice, if you will.

Sometimes people give their friends ultimatums- you're not loyal to me if you are friends with me and this person. "It's either me or this pmann character!"

Has this happened to you? How do you handle being friends with two people who dislike each other? Do you just ignore it? Do you defend the friend?

Good question!! I have lots of thoughts and I'm on hold with the government so I'll just list them. Hope they make sense.

1. I've never given anyone an ultimatum and I dont like when they are given to me.
2. Not eveyone has to like each other. Some people dont gel and that's ok but I do think people can be respectful.
3. When my friend is friends with someone I don't like I usually just keep it to myself but if asked my opinion I dont lie.
4. If it really gets under my skin (which is a me problem and not a them problem), I'll just back away and give it some space. Only one time has it gotten to a point where Frriend B kept bringing up Friend C and I just had to ask them to not mention them anymore.
5. I do think people's choice of friends says a lot about them. On Lit or elsewhere so I have been cautious of people who are friendly with people that I don't gel with or think are outright awful. People say curate your Lit experience and I think being careful about who your friends with is the most basic form of curation.

 

[blade_rocknut]

Question for today...

Friends... There are lots of difference people on this site. Lots of friendly faces and boobs and dicks with whom you may connect. But sometimes friendships aren't so simple.

Inevitably, person A become friends with person B. But person B is friends with person C. Well person A thinks that person C is a cunt; that's why they're named person C. Then comes the divide. A Sophie's Choice, if you will.

Sometimes people give their friends ultimatums- you're not loyal to me if you are friends with me and this person. "It's either me or this pmann character!"

Has this happened to you? How do you handle being friends with two people who dislike each other? Do you just ignore it? Do you defend the friend?

I don't hate on people by proxy; either here or IRL.
I'm acquainted with several whom I am certain don't get along with the remainder of my acquaintances, and that's ok. I don't want to be party to ably drama or used as a sounding board for it. Just here for fun. And tits.

 

[Suz_anne]

I've never been in a situation here where anyone has given me an ultimatum about being friends with another Litster.

I have received various warnings - more like a "hey, this was my experience with that person, so just a head's up to be cautious" and I appreciated that, but still make my own judgments.

I have backed off on a couple of people based on those opinions combined with my own observations, but I don't feel like anything has been a big loss.

I keep my circle tight. Seems like good advice with many applications.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Question for today...

Friends... There are lots of difference people on this site. Lots of friendly faces and boobs and dicks with whom you may connect. But sometimes friendships aren't so simple.

Inevitably, person A become friends with person B. But person B is friends with person C. Well person A thinks that person C is a cunt; that's why they're named person C. Then comes the divide. A Sophie's Choice, if you will.

Sometimes people give their friends ultimatums- you're not loyal to me if you are friends with me and this person. "It's either me or this pmann character!"

Has this happened to you? How do you handle being friends with two people who dislike each other? Do you just ignore it? Do you defend the friend?

I have not had a lit ultimatum. I have in real life, but it is more often in relation to a specific event. For example, one saying they will not go to that party if she is invited too. My answer is always "Sorry to hear that, we'll miss you, ttyl". It only happens once. This is a form of emotional blackmail, and I don't like it. Either they are the type that regularly uses those tactics and they will stop talking to me naturally as they don't work on me or they will realize it isn't cool and won't do it again. I am good with either resolution. If I was given an ultimatum on Lit, my answer would be "ok, sorry to hear that. Have a nice life." I don't care who the players are. I will not submit to emotional blackmail. If the person who made the ultimatum changes their mind, fine, let me know, it is all good. Otherwise, I am good with them not being there. Do I defend? I am not sure defend is the right word, but maybe. If someone is venting about a problem or disagreement, I am naturally inclined to want to isolate the issue, and find a workable solution. Thus, venting to me, often involves me listening, sympathizing, asking questions, and then mentioning other possible solutions or counter views. I am the worst sounding board if all you want is sympathy. If Friend A was complaining about C, I would also be discussing possible perspectives of C.

As for the flip side, it is very rare for me to be unwilling to make an effort and unable to find common ground. The only way for me to dislike someone enough to be unable to interact with them and be unwilling to make an effort is if they are downright dangerous and pose an actual threat to me. That has happened only once in my life. It would be highly unlikely on Lit. Everyone has positives. I will choose to focus on those.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I haven't received an ultimatum, but I doubt that I would respond well to one.

Additional thoughts:

I think an ultimatum is useful when negotiating a deal—buying a car, discussing your salary, etc. In a relationship or friendship it is not appropriate.

If it’s a choice between your way or the highway then you have already decided that ending the relationship is an option—so hit the bricks, Dorothy!

 

[ChainedUp]

Nice to see a little life in the old thread. I won’t answer the question as per standing tradition but seeing the gang reassemble makes me think the upcoming Friends reboot just might work.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Nice to see a little life in the old thread. I won’t answer the question as per standing tradition but seeing the gang reassemble makes me think the upcoming Friends reboot just might work.

Speaking of post stalking... I'm flattered Papa Chained.

 

[Dribble]

People come...people go.

I have never been given, or asked, an ultimatum. That being said, I can guarantee you if Person C is being cunty to Person A, and I am a close friend to Person A, my opinion of Person C has dropped substantially. If I stop talking w Person C because of it, 9 times out if 10, they will say nothing...which says something as well doesnt it? I value friends. I dont use the term easily. Most people, are nothing but acquaintances...hence, why it is easy to let people go.

I dont ask others to feel the same way as I do.

 

[Endless_Night]

Not exactly an ultimatum, but I did have a situation once where myself and Friend A started out friendly with B. The situation changed, to where Friend A no longer liked Friend B. A made their dislike directly known to me, but not to B.

I tried, gently, tried to reconcile the situation by offering a different viewpoint. As mentioned by Justadesperatewifeandmom. (Whew! That is one long user name. ) To no avail. After a time, Friend A started asking questions. Things like, "Did you tell Friend B *insert whatever* about me? Which, of course, I had not.

My first loyalty - if we're going to talk about things in those terms - was to Friend A. I most certainly wasn't going to chat about their personal real-time life with someone they didn't like!

Anyhoo, the friendship continued to deteriorate. Friend A seemed to view my continued friendship with B as some type of betrayal. Or perhaps some indication I wasn't the person they'd thought originally.

*shrug*

Sucked, as I don't friend easily. Hopefully it was just a once off. Since I also keep my circle tight.


(Wait. What exactly are we talking about here? )

 

[Endless_Night]

< —so hit the bricks, Dorothy!

OMG.

*laughing hysterically*

 

[French75]

Damn! This friends and ultimatums question is far more than I bargained for from this place. Is it really that complicated?

 

[85Ironman]

Damn! This friends and ultimatums question is far more than I bargained for from this place. Is it really that complicated?

Nah.
Only if you let it.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

........

5. I do think people's choice of friends says a lot about them. On Lit or elsewhere so I have been cautious of people who are friendly with people that I don't gel with or think are outright awful. People say curate your Lit experience and I think being careful about who your friends with is the most basic form of curation.

^^^^ I get this very much so.
Yes, variety is the spice of life, but to a certain degree. IMO
Sometimes it’s seems it’s only about in the moment/mood- some hot pics sent back and forth, filthy RP and then perhaps some guilt about it the next day. Or something.
Who cares that the person is (insert adjective(s) here), I (not me) got my thrill. All is grand in candy land.
Now even with all that, to each their own, I’m the last person to tell someone what’s what.
I do certainly question (sometimes) their decisions.
But then this is Lit-Fantasyfuckland and in the really big pic of life, does.it.really.matter?

 

[Endless_Night]

Damn! This friends and ultimatums question is far more than I bargained for from this place. Is it really that complicated?

French75?! Clearly a Litster of taste and sophistication!




(My favorite aperitif. )

 

[hotwords229_A]

. . . But then this is Lit-Fantasyfuckland and in the really big pic of life, does.it.really.matter?

This^^^by a trillion percent!

 

[Lord Pmann]

Damn! This friends and ultimatums question is far more than I bargained for from this place. Is it really that complicated?

It is. People can really be cunts.

Welcome!!!!