Litiquette IV

[Trekka]

Show and tell used to be about a favorite toy, kids nowadays.....

In that vein, what's better now than it used to be? Sometimes we crave the "good ol days" but lots of times the present is far better than the past.

What's better now? I'm a mommy!!

Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful lovely vivacious MILFs of Lit!

 

[Bookishleigh]

Show and tell used to be about a favorite toy, kids nowadays.....

In that vein, what's better now than it used to be? Sometimes we crave the "good ol days" but lots of times the present is far better than the past.

Sex is better now. I used to be so repressed (and then married to someone who was even MORE repressed than I was). I think you start reaching a certain age and you stop caring about the opinions of others and just start doing what you enjoy...

Is it proper Litiquitte to ask for audio or visual of your next sesssion?

Hmm, I think under these rules that is technically up to him. Of course, I am not playing by the rules....

 

[BCJ4]

Sex is better now. I used to be so repressed (and then married to someone who was even MORE repressed than I was). I think you start reaching a certain age and you stop caring about the opinions of others and just start doing what you enjoy...



Hmm, I think under these rules that is technically up to him. Of course, I am not playing by the rules....

Just post one of those signs that says you are under video surveillance, bases covered then.

 

[ChainedUp]

Quiet in these parts this weekend, although it was Mother's Day in the States so apparently even kinky moms can be good when they have to be.

I've often wondered about kinky being heredity. If you are kinky what are the chances your mom/dad were as well? It's not like all this kink was just invented by us. How would you react if your mom or dad decided to share with you their kinky ways? Would you run out screaming like the house was on fire or would you sit and listen and think "you kinky cool bastards" and grin?

 

[NeonSubtlety]

Thinking about my parents having sex was not how I would've preferred my morning to start, hah.

It would be disruptive if I found that out about them...but I think that's entirely to do with it being completely apart from their character. I was raised in a household that's more Catholic than alcoholism.

I think that, like most things, sexuality is a sum of nature and nurture. But I'm in no way confident in that opinion. It's mostly just a guess based on anecdotal evidence.

 

[beachbaby179]

When I was younger and still living at home, it was a very strict household. Lots of rules, emphasis on manners and what "good girls" did and didn't do. One day I was doing laundry. I collected all the hampers and knowing my dad had a habit of leaving his socks on the floor, knelt down next to the bed to collect any that might have gone under. Imagine my surprise when I discovered the toy box...open, right next to a balled up sock. Some things you just can't un-see.

 

[rubydlite]

Quiet in these parts this weekend, although it was Mother's Day in the States so apparently even kinky moms can be good when they have to be.

I've often wondered about kinky being heredity. If you are kinky what are the chances your mom/dad were as well? It's not like all this kink was just invented by us. How would you react if your mom or dad decided to share with you their kinky ways? Would you run out screaming like the house was on fire or would you sit and listen and think "you kinky cool bastards" and grin?

I also would have preferred to not think about this before my 15th cup of coffee...lol but I'm pretty sure one of my parents has a kinky streak. I lived in a very small house with my dad...a single man in his late 30's...*tries to scrub ear canal of memories almost forgotten*
I'm pretty sure my mom got pregnant by accident and regards sex as a duty driven thing.
I also went on a few dates with a kinky fucker who confessed after his mom dies hen found her secret room. Just a closet...but one with hooks, toys and other fun things.

 

[LWulf]

I don't believe kinks are hereditary. Because, lets say my mom was a dominatrix and my dad was submissive. That would make me both.

No, I'll say there might, might be a 'deviant gene,' but what that develops into is up to the person and how they develop into an adult.

 

[DarkSimian]

ok, I'm going out on a limb again, and breakin the rules regarding questions, but..

Yesterday, when I was out with my mom at lunch, there was a very attractive woman sitting at a neighboring table. She had very pretty eyes, a nice smile, and was just an overall attractive woman. I found myself watching her, not in a creepy way, but just watching how the light caught in her hair, or how she laughed. We made eye contact several times, and she always smiled when we did. Now here's my question; how do you approach a stranger and compliment them without coming off weird or creepy? I just wanted to tell her that I thought she was attractive; I wasn't asking for a date, or to be her baby daddy. So how do you offer a sincere compliment to a stranger, with out it being weird? I just want to know.....

 

[Paul_Chance]

Quiet in these parts this weekend, although it was Mother's Day in the States so apparently even kinky moms can be good when they have to be.

I've often wondered about kinky being heredity. If you are kinky what are the chances your mom/dad were as well? It's not like all this kink was just invented by us. How would you react if your mom or dad decided to share with you their kinky ways? Would you run out screaming like the house was on fire or would you sit and listen and think "you kinky cool bastards" and grin?

I don't know that kinky is hereditary - I lean toward kink being a learned behavior from our youth (very Freudian in nature). I've always had a good relationship with my parents when they were alive and I was always an observant munchkin.

I know my parents had at least one lover they shared and I've assumed there others more discretely handled. There were always sexual related books in the house, usually discretely nestled in the bookshelf in their room.

All in all, my siblings and I grew up with a healthy sexual attitude, which often involved open conversations with one or both parents. I don't know the exact details of their exploits, but I know enough to fill in the blanks. (Swinging/Swapping/Semi-Open Relationship)

 

[LWulf]

ok, I'm going out on a limb again, and breakin the rules regarding questions, but..

Yesterday, when I was out with my mom at lunch, there was a very attractive woman sitting at a neighboring table. She had very pretty eyes, a nice smile, and was just an overall attractive woman. I found myself watching her, not in a creepy way, but just watching how the light caught in her hair, or how she laughed. We made eye contact several times, and she always smiled when we did. Now here's my question; how do you approach a stranger and compliment them without coming off weird or creepy? I just wanted to tell her that I thought she was attractive; I wasn't asking for a date, or to be her baby daddy. So how do you offer a sincere compliment to a stranger, with out it being weird? I just want to know.....

...there are rules??? *blink blink*

first, understand. You had a moment, now the moment is gone. You have a finite allotment of moments in life and if you pass them up, you might not get another for many years. You might try to rekindle the moment, but like soda, after an amount of time, it goes flat.

Now, if you purely and sincerely wish to give a compliment and not appear as a dork, then you have to own it (whatever you do). It could be just raising your glass to her in a toast when she looks over to you, it could be by buying her a drink, and telling her waiter/waitress "with your compliments" though that is traditionally considered a way to open up a door of opportunity. (in an aside, If it was ME buying her a drink and as I am familiar with many different drinks, I'd buy her a drink that inspired me by her looks. If she was sweet and simple then I'd buy her a drink personifying those traits, etc. It's a ballsy move but I'm a ballsy type that takes risks and tries to push people into trying new things)
The point is, you wish to give a "token" of appreciation. Physical tokens are usually perceived as door openers. It could be an artistic little scribble you draw up caught up in the heat of the moment, or it could be lyrical or poetic verse created on the spur of the moment...

It should be unique, as a moment is unique.

Why should you own it? because it has to come naturally from you. Are you embarrassed when you say "hello" to someone and they scoff in response? You take it in stride, as any token of appreciation (physical or otherwise) may be equally spurned. How you deal with the response is equally important as is what you do to personify the token. The point is, the token has to be uniquely a personification of yourself, to mean something to her as well.

but as I said, the moment is gone.

You want to get inside her pants, that's another matter entirely.

 

[ElasticMermaid]

...there are rules??? *blink blink*

first, understand. You had a moment, now the moment is gone. You have a finite allotment of moments in life and if you pass them up, you might not get another for many years. You might try to rekindle the moment, but like soda, after an amount of time, it goes flat.

Now, if you purely and sincerely wish to give a compliment and not appear as a dork, then you have to own it (whatever you do). It could be just raising your glass to her in a toast when she looks over to you, it could be by buying her a drink, and telling her waiter/waitress "with your compliments" though that is traditionally considered a way to open up a door of opportunity. (in an aside, If it was ME buying her a drink and as I am familiar with many different drinks, I'd buy her a drink that inspired me by her looks. If she was sweet and simple then I'd buy her a drink personifying those traits, etc. It's a ballsy move but I'm a ballsy type that takes risks and tries to push people into trying new things)
The point is, you wish to give a "token" of appreciation. Physical tokens are usually perceived as door openers. It could be an artistic little scribble you draw up caught up in the heat of the moment, or it could be lyrical or poetic verse created on the spur of the moment...

It should be unique, as a moment is unique.

Why should you own it? because it has to come naturally from you. Are you embarrassed when you say "hello" to someone and they scoff in response? You take it in stride, as any token of appreciation (physical or otherwise) may be equally spurned. How you deal with the response is equally important as is what you do to personify the token. The point is, the token has to be uniquely a personification of yourself, to mean something to her as well.

but as I said, the moment is gone.

You want to get inside her pants, that's another matter entirely.

I disagree with this. You should just, with as much boundary respect as possible, pass by her and give her a genuine compliment. If she's open to it, she will respond positively. If she's not...she won't. Buying her a drink in that setting is weird and unnecessary.

 

[numeniusa]

ok, I'm going out on a limb again, and breakin the rules regarding questions, but..

Yesterday, when I was out with my mom at lunch, there was a very attractive woman sitting at a neighboring table. She had very pretty eyes, a nice smile, and was just an overall attractive woman. I found myself watching her, not in a creepy way, but just watching how the light caught in her hair, or how she laughed. We made eye contact several times, and she always smiled when we did. Now here's my question; how do you approach a stranger and compliment them without coming off weird or creepy? I just wanted to tell her that I thought she was attractive; I wasn't asking for a date, or to be her baby daddy. So how do you offer a sincere compliment to a stranger, with out it being weird? I just want to know.....

I think you're a good way to something sincerely complimentary in your descriptions of what you liked, the light in her hair, how she laughed. Those are nice sentiments, I'd be flattered if someone paid me a specific compliment like that.

Was she alone though, or with female friends? If she seemed to be with a male partner, I can't see how it wouldn't be a little awkward, even if you acknowledged him and his seeming relationship to her.

 

[DarkSimian]

I think you're a good way to something sincerely complimentary in your descriptions of what you liked, the light in her hair, how she laughed. Those are nice sentiments, I'd be flattered if someone paid me a specific compliment like that.

Was she alone though, or with female friends? If she seemed to be with a male partner, I can't see how it wouldn't be a little awkward, even if you acknowledged him and his seeming relationship to her.

she was with her mother, at a large buffet style restaurant...I just didn't know of a way to approach her with out coming off creepy (and if you saw me in person, you would think that lol)

 

[Mindfondler]

I've often wondered about kinky being heredity.

I was in a BDSM workshop at the London Alternative Market (LAM) a couple of weeks ago when this very question was raised.

One might imagine that the only options are "nature" or "nurture", but recent reseearch into epigenetics has suggested a third possibility -- that the experiences of one's mother whilst one is still in the womb may influence the subsequent expression of genes during one's own development. An example was cited of children of the maternal survivors of major traumas, who were found to have much lower than normal levels of cortisol (stress hormone) -- so low that they might be expected themselves to be suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Obviously, it's a stretch to suggest that this explains kinky tendencies, or indeed that these are in any way genetic rather than shaped by early experiences, but it's an intriguing thought.

If you are kinky what are the chances your mom/dad were as well? It's not like all this kink was just invented by us. How would you react if your mom or dad decided to share with you their kinky ways? Would you run out screaming like the house was on fire or would you sit and listen and think "you kinky cool bastards" and grin?

I've spotted a few hints that my mother might share some of my kinks, but I'd be flabbergasted if my father did -- he's way too straight and literal-minded for that. I'd probably be cool with it if they came out to me, mainly because it would mean that they'd be having some fun together. Sadly, that's not much of an option for them any more.
.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Quiet in these parts this weekend, although it was Mother's Day in the States so apparently even kinky moms can be good when they have to be.

I've often wondered about kinky being heredity. If you are kinky what are the chances your mom/dad were as well? It's not like all this kink was just invented by us. How would you react if your mom or dad decided to share with you their kinky ways? Would you run out screaming like the house was on fire or would you sit and listen and think "you kinky cool bastards" and grin?

ok, I'm going out on a limb again, and breakin the rules regarding questions, but..

Yesterday, when I was out with my mom at lunch, there was a very attractive woman sitting at a neighboring table. She had very pretty eyes, a nice smile, and was just an overall attractive woman. I found myself watching her, not in a creepy way, but just watching how the light caught in her hair, or how she laughed. We made eye contact several times, and she always smiled when we did. Now here's my question; how do you approach a stranger and compliment them without coming off weird or creepy? I just wanted to tell her that I thought she was attractive; I wasn't asking for a date, or to be her baby daddy. So how do you offer a sincere compliment to a stranger, with out it being weird? I just want to know.....

Let me break it down a little more by asking a couple of questions.

First, the way she was sitting - did she have to change positions to make eye contact? I ask because of how I look at it - if she is sitting in such a way that I'm clearly in her field of vision and she in mine, and the eye contact is incidental to our positions, then I would interpret it as her simply being polite - i.e. thinking oh what a nice man at lunch with his mother - and the smile and eye contact was just incidental, in which case I'd simply just smile back and enjoy the day, and maybe go with option three below.

Second, if she was in such a position that the second instance of eye contact and smile was not incidental, but rather a deliberate act - and you should be able to tell the difference - then she is assessing you, just as you are assessing her.

Depending on the circumstances and my own intentions, there are a couple of things you could do. I'll rank them out in order of boldness.

Bold As A Man With Giant Brass Balls: When conversation lulls at either table, you get up, walk over, and say "pardon me, I couldn't help but notice the way the sun glints off you hair and it intrigues me. I don't want to interrupt you and your lovely mother, but I am a man who believes he should follow his instincts. Here is my number, I'd like you to give me a call when you have a window. And now, to apologize for my terrible manners - I am picking up the tab for both of you, so order an extra dessert and enjoy this wonderful day. Now, I'm going back to my table where my own mother may or may not slap me on the head for being so forward with strangers." Then set your calling card (you do have a calling card right - a simple business card with your name, phone and email address?) on the table and walk away.

Bold As Man Who Knows His Way, But Is Too Polite to Clang His Brass Balls Together: Intercept their waiter prior to his bringing their check and tell him to bring it to you. Pay for their lunch/brunch. Then, write a note that says something simple like "I was struck by the way the light shimmered in your hair. I hope you had a wonderful luncheon with your beautiful mother." on the back of the check and slip your card in. Tell the waiter to hold it until they ask for it.

Kind, Not Bold, But Loves Beauty: Simply intercept the check and pay for it without saying anything. The universe will pay you back in the future with a hot partner of some sort.

It probably helps if you're wearing a tux and get in an Astin-Martin as you leave.

 

[LWulf]

I disagree with this. You should just, with as much boundary respect as possible, pass by her and give her a genuine compliment. If she's open to it, she will respond positively. If she's not...she won't. Buying her a drink in that setting is weird and unnecessary.

I didn't say that's the way he should do it, just MY way (or one of my ways), but your way gets closer to crossing the respect boundary. Your way might be more personable, but it is also very forward and thereby has a greater potential for a creepy factor.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

I didn't say that's the way he should do it, just MY way (or one of my ways), but your way gets closer to crossing the respect boundary. Your way might be more personable, but it is also very forward and thereby has a greater potential for a creepy factor.

I think it just simply depends on how you come across. I've told girls straight up that I think they're beautiful and they responded with a laugh. And that led to conversation. (And eventually divorce, but that's a whole other thing.)

 

[LWulf]

I think it just simply depends on how you come across. I've told girls straight up that I think they're beautiful and they responded with a laugh. And that led to conversation. (And eventually divorce, but that's a whole other thing.)

Well, as I originally said "You want to get inside her pants, that's another matter entirely."

Instead, he mentioned "pure" and I think of pure as meaning like "pure and chaste from afar." I might be wrong but I calls 'em like I sees 'em. *shrug*

 

[Trekka]

I vote for giant clanging brass balls! *fans self*

And I've often wondered if being kinky, or interested in non-mainstream sexual activity, is hereditary as well, like it's been postulated that homosexuality is congenital. I'm probably using my big words wrong here, but it's an interesting topic.

My mom and dad aren't "kinky" to my knowledge, but they're silly. Not buttoned up.

A notorious story in my fam is how my mom gave my dad a water gun for Valentine's Day, donned a thin white tee, and told him he was gonna get his own personal wet tshirt contest. Fucking brilliant, no?

And of my two siblings and I, I know one of my brothers, and I, are both kinky. Not sure about the other brother...

 

[Suz_anne]

I've often wondered about kinky being heredity. If you are kinky what are the chances your mom/dad were as well? It's not like all this kink was just invented by us. How would you react if your mom or dad decided to share with you their kinky ways? Would you run out screaming like the house was on fire or would you sit and listen and think "you kinky cool bastards" and grin?

My mom remarried when I was about 10 years old, so I have very clear recollections of hearing her and my stepdad "wrestling" behind locked doors on their groovy waterbed. My sister and I discovered sex toys, lube and other adult novelties once while hunting for Christmas gifts. In retrospect, it was nothing terribly kinky and it was probably a good thing to have them as the model of a healthy, loving, sexual relationship. But at the time, it was downright startling. My sister and still make uneasy jokes about that little discovery.

Now here's my question; how do you approach a stranger and compliment them without coming off weird or creepy? I just wanted to tell her that I thought she was attractive; I wasn't asking for a date, or to be her baby daddy. So how do you offer a sincere compliment to a stranger, with out it being weird? I just want to know.....

I think simplicity is the best approach. Respectfully walking up to her and saying, "Excuse me, but I just wanted to tell you that you have a beautiful smile." and as long as you didn't say it in a Hannibal Lecter voice, you would have probably made her day.

 

[Endless_Night]

< One might imagine that the only options are "nature" or "nurture", but recent reseearch into epigenetics has suggested a third possibility -- that the experiences of one's mother whilst one is still in the womb may influence the subsequent expression of genes during one's own development. >

There is an excellent introductory program that discusses epigenetic modifications called something like Ghost in Your Genes, for anyone who is interested. It's not overloaded with scientific jargon. Some studies show changes which span multi-generations, impacting both hormone and disease profiles.

Bold As A Man With Giant Brass Balls:

Bold As Man Who Knows His Way, But Is Too Polite to Clang His Brass Balls Together:

Kind, Not Bold, But Loves Beauty:

It probably helps if you're wearing a tux and get in an Astin-Martin as you leave.

Love, love, love the options. Where is that like button when you need it?

An Astin-Martin always helps.

 

[ChainedUp]

When I look at tumblr pages they are typically full of sexy women or sexy couples, with the couples shots focusing on the women. Why is that? Most women post tumblr pics of other women it seems, not men. Are women just so much more sexy that gender makes no difference?

 

[beachbaby179]

When I look at tumblr pages they are typically full of sexy women or sexy couples, with the couples shots focusing on the women. Why is that? Most women post tumblr pics of other women it seems, not men. Are women just so much more sexy that gender makes no difference?

Good morning...

I dunno. You tell me. Personally, although I religiously look at the lingerie threads here and elsewhere, it's to window shop. Not to look at the women themselves. I prefer to look at the male form. Mostly, I think, because looking at beautiful women makes me feel insecure. I'm working on that...

 

[LWulf]

Yup...