Litiquette IV

[DarkSimian]

https://66.media.tumblr.com/a1baeeca73c3823f67fbaf5d421d18d8/tumblr_n6adi57Fah1r21xm5o1_400.jpg

ok, you don't have to ask me twice

 

[ChainedUp]

DS brings up a good point, being asked twice. I'm an instinct guy, a firm believer that if you follow your instinct you'll be happy with your decision more times than not. But there are also those among us that contemplate, mull, weigh carefully their actions. Is there a time/place for one vs the other? Does it matter the process as long as you get it right? What about analysis paralysis? Is it situational?

So many questions, pick one, pick all. Come on folks, it's Saturday, have a ball!

 

[GiggLeGasm]

The few times I've ignored my instincts, either because of the heat of the moment or when my curiosity has gotten the best of me, the outcome has never been as great as I'd hoped. Curiosity comes first, instinct comes next. I find that I shouldn't let me desire fuel my instinct as much as the other way around.

 

[rubydlite]

DS brings up a good point, being asked twice. I'm an instinct guy, a firm believer that if you follow your instinct you'll be happy with your decision more times than not. But there are also those among us that contemplate, mull, weigh carefully their actions. Is there a time/place for one vs the other? Does it matter the process as long as you get it right? What about analysis paralysis? Is it situational?

So many questions, pick one, pick all. Come on folks, it's Saturday, have a ball!

I over weigh. ..over compensate....over mull everything. Sometimes I'm sure I miss out on great opportunities because if it. However, I have a heart that leads me so mostly my brain has to set these barriers.

 

[Trekka]

My instincts can suck. They can tell me things like, "You're dying!" or, "Start swinging!" or, "Fuck birth control!"

I'm both anxious and impulsive. I have to slow waaaay down before I can figure out the next right thing to do. I need to think before I act.

Even then, I try to run my decision-making past a panel of trusted advisors first. I poll the audience, phone a friend...

 

[Suz_anne]

It's very situational for me. For example, I agonized for weeks over which car to purchase... read every review, compared features, "built" endless versions on websites, and generally drove everyone around me crazy while weighing my decision. But when we decided to do a complete re-model of our master bath, I had one meeting with the designer, picked out everything and never gave it a second thought.

It confuses my poor husband to no end because it is unpredictable. Bless his heart.

 

[All_4_Love]

Is there a time/place for one vs the other?

No, only trusting yourself and letting your heart be your guide.

Does it matter the process as long as you get it right?

Just the opposite for me. The process matters more than right or wrong.

What about analysis paralysis? Is it situational?

No, it depends on the person and the process they choose. It can happen to anyone at anytime over anything.

Good questions.

I've done a lot of work at honing my skills when it comes to intuition and letting my heart be my guide. It's very easy to confuse fear with intuition. In hindsight, when I have been centered and just trusted my instincts, I've been right. When I have let my fear be my guide, I've been wrong.

Making decisions is not something I enjoy doing but I realize it's necessary to take responsibility for my own life. I haven't always done this.

In most things that seem to be important to most people, such as material things, plans for the future, financial decisions, and also in the everyday simple things, I just simply don't care. I know that sounds lazy or complacent to some, but it truly doesn't matter to me. It just takes energy that I don't keep in store. I'm a go-with-the-flow type of person. I'm content to just do whatever. Quite simply, I'm a-okay.

In major decisions, ones that I consider life changing, or that can have a great effect on myself and others, I do contemplate. But I know how quickly contemplation can become worry and obsession and anxiety. This is true whether I'm making a decision, or whether I'm putting my trust into someone else to lead and make decisions for me. So, I will sit passively and patiently when in a state of confusion until I'm centered again. Most of the time, anyway. There's always room for improvement.

I have made some terrible decisions in my life. I've had to work harder on accepting the outcome than I have harder on making better decisions. I know that I can do my best at any given time but what I can't do is control an outcome. I have no way of knowing how my decisions will play out in the long run because I have no way of knowing how the rest of the world is going to react or respond to my decisions. Hence, there is really no such thing as a good or bad decision.

Thus, my efforts are more toward praying, letting go of fear, staying in the present moment as much as I can, trusting myself and my heart, putting my faith in something higher than myself, and knowing that no matter what, things are working for my greatest good.

One of the most important things that I have ever learned is that in each moment, we have the choice to act from fear or from love. And that as long as we choose love, we can never be wrong. I do believe this wholeheartedly.

The challenge then becomes in knowing when to act from love for others and when to act from love for myself, because unfortunately, there are times when coming from a place of love for myself means making choices that others won't be pleased with or even understand. And I don't like disappointing others, at all. This has been the most difficult process for me. Anyhow, it's the greatest and most important discovery for me, and I'm committed to becoming better and better at it for the rest of my life.

 

[Little_Sister]

I have changed as I have gotten older. I think of it like parenting. When I had my first baby I was damn near neurotic. Every decision I weighted and re-weighted. I also was vocal about other peoples choices and would tell them why my way was right.

Then I had a second baby and the whole "If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans" hit me square in the face. I wasn't nearly as good at life/motherhood as my perfect first child made me think I was.

When I found out we were having baby #3, I cried and it was NOT tears of joy.

Since then I have pretty much given up so to speak. I make the best choice I know with the given information and move on. I do my best but I don't put too much time or thought into any situation. I am much more laid back now.

You want a new car? Can we afford it? Yes... fine, pick whatever you want.

You want to do swim team and baseball.. twice the car time for me? Nope, pick one.

 

[Azuldrgon]

DS brings up a good point, being asked twice. I'm an instinct guy, a firm believer that if you follow your instinct you'll be happy with your decision more times than not. But there are also those among us that contemplate, mull, weigh carefully their actions. Is there a time/place for one vs the other? Does it matter the process as long as you get it right? What about analysis paralysis? Is it situational?

-There is definitely a time/place for both. I find myself more methodical when I am working on something when i have time to contemplate the best course of action. I find myself more "improv" when it needs to have something right away and I have to depend upon experience.

-The process does matter. Work wise, I want to be able to look back to save time on what to do. I like the procedure I develop to be basic, as in something I could show someone once and they succeed.

-I don't get paralyzed too often. I am too stubborn to quit really. I may put the project to the side for a bit and look at it with fresh eyes later.

-It is a situational thing really.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

One of the most important things that I have ever learned is that in each moment, we have the choice to act from fear or from love. And that as long as we choose love, we can never be wrong. I do believe this wholeheartedly.

The challenge then becomes in knowing when to act from love for others and when to act from love for myself, because unfortunately, there are times when coming from a place of love for myself means making choices that others won't be pleased with or even understand. And I don't like disappointing others, at all. This has been the most difficult process for me. Anyhow, it's the greatest and most important discovery for me, and I'm committed to becoming better and better at it for the rest of my life.

where is that "like" button

 

[Bookishleigh]

I trust my instincts - if I am wrong, well I was still true to myself.

 

[rubydlite]

-snip- When I had my first baby I was damn near neurotic. Every decision I weighted and re-weighted. I also was vocal about other peoples choices and would tell them why my way was right.

-snip-

When I found out we were having baby #3, I cried and it was NOT tears of joy. ..

-snip-

Im laughing because I could have written this myself. I was so upset when I found out I was preggers the third time I cried for two months...lol

Now I love that little bean more than anything...but oh the tears.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

DS brings up a good point, being asked twice. I'm an instinct guy, a firm believer that if you follow your instinct you'll be happy with your decision more times than not. But there are also those among us that contemplate, mull, weigh carefully their actions. Is there a time/place for one vs the other? Does it matter the process as long as you get it right? What about analysis paralysis? Is it situational?

So many questions, pick one, pick all. Come on folks, it's Saturday, have a ball!

I used to trust my instincts and generally had a good feel for knowing when to hold 'em and knowing when to fold 'em and all that. But I've had so many bad experiences the last year or so that my default feeling is "How is THIS one going to end horribly too?" Or "How is THIS person going to fuck me over?" And as a result I just don't enjoy anything when it comes to other people. I think I'm getting better though.

 

[DarkSimian]

I used to trust my instincts and generally had a good feel for knowing when to hold 'em and knowing when to fold 'em and all that. But I've had so many bad experiences the last year or so that my default feeling is "How is THIS one going to end horribly too?" Or "How is THIS person going to fuck me over?" And as a result I just don't enjoy anything when it comes to other people. I think I'm getting better though.

damn, NRJ, are you and I brothers? I too, have always tried to do the best I could, usually the whole "needs of the many" routine, even if it went against my instincts or better judgement. But now I am like NRJ, just trying to minimize the catastrophe later on. I'm a smart man, with a good heart, but I've been led down the wrong path too many times, I don't trust myself or my instincts anymore

 

[LWulf]

A little like what everyone else has said, more or less. I'll sum it up as "there's a time and place for everything."

Instincts are like reactions. Sometimes they are good while you have a wealth of precedents to use as a guide. They suck ass when you come up against something you've never experienced before.

I used to be instinctive when I was younger, but then I came up against some bonehead choices when dealing with things out of the scope of my experiences.

After that I overcompensated and analyzed every step I made, for a spell, which is nerve wracking.

Since then I've come to the situational concept that I use today. Honed by assessments of "if there is enough time to decide, then do so, otherwise, go with your first best instinct and accept whatever fallout comes of it."

Even when instinctively reacting, there is some time to decide on a course of action, though the options are usually more limited. For instance, if I jump out of a perfectly functional airplane, You'd think it would be instinctive that you pull the ripcord immediately, but actually that would probably get you killed (first count to ten, THEN pull).
However, unless I am 100 feet above ground, then I have some choices to consider. One of which will NOT be "do I have time to break out that copy of War and Peace I've been itching to read?" but I hope you get the idea...

 

[Bookishleigh]

Darn it - wasn't this the thread we were discussing our sex-related injuries? I swore I commented somewhere I hoped to have some today (and, boy, do I).

This is what happens when your partner is dominant and you refuse to be submissive (because you enjoy tormenting him).

Not everyone's cup of tea, but if you don't like it, don't comment.

[URL=http://s1305.photobucket.com/user/bookishlysexy/media/180ce580-ce0b-461e-9f2a-2f26fa1572a1_zps5ogxjzg0.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1305.photobucket.com/albums/s547/bookishlysexy/180ce580-ce0b-461e-9f2a-2f26fa1572a1_zps5ogxjzg0.jpg[/URL][/IMG]

 

[rubydlite]

Darn it - wasn't this the thread we were discussing our sex-related injuries? I swore I commented somewhere I hoped to have some today (and, boy, do I).

This is what happens when your partner is dominant and you refuse to be submissive (because you enjoy tormenting him).

Not everyone's cup of tea, but if you don't like it, don't comment.

[URL=http://s1305.photobucket.com/user/bookishlysexy/media/180ce580-ce0b-461e-9f2a-2f26fa1572a1_zps5ogxjzg0.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1305.photobucket.com/albums/s547/bookishlysexy/180ce580-ce0b-461e-9f2a-2f26fa1572a1_zps5ogxjzg0.jpg[/URL][/IMG]

Lucky lucky girl!

 

[Bookishleigh]

Lucky lucky girl!

This was immediately after so I imagine tomorrow will appear worse. But oh I so enjoyed it.

 

[Trekka]

This was immediately after so I imagine tomorrow will appear worse. But oh I so enjoyed it.

^5s!

You put up a good fight I see That's hot, FD!

 

[Bookishleigh]

^5s!

You put up a good fight I see That's hot, FD!

Lol - he's already texted saying his plans for the night are lame and asking what I'm doing, that I can sleep at his place since my new neighbors are atrociously loud. I told him thanks but that I'm "recovering" and I'm pretty sure no amount of noise will wake me.

So I think he enjoyed the fight too

 

[LWulf]

Darn it - wasn't this the thread we were discussing our sex-related injuries? I swore I commented somewhere I hoped to have some today (and, boy, do I).

This is what happens when your partner is dominant and you refuse to be submissive (because you enjoy tormenting him).

Not everyone's cup of tea, but if you don't like it, don't comment.

(image omitted for brevity)

Definitely my cup of tea (though I prefer lemonade). I'm jealous of your Dom. However... You are aware of what bone bruises do and are, right???

That's the limit of my public service announcement.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Darn it - wasn't this the thread we were discussing our sex-related injuries? I swore I commented somewhere I hoped to have some today (and, boy, do I).

This is what happens when your partner is dominant and you refuse to be submissive (because you enjoy tormenting him).

Not everyone's cup of tea, but if you don't like it, don't comment.

[URL=http://s1305.photobucket.com/user/bookishlysexy/media/180ce580-ce0b-461e-9f2a-2f26fa1572a1_zps5ogxjzg0.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1305.photobucket.com/albums/s547/bookishlysexy/180ce580-ce0b-461e-9f2a-2f26fa1572a1_zps5ogxjzg0.jpg[/URL][/IMG]

Wow!!!

 

[ChainedUp]

Show and tell used to be about a favorite toy, kids nowadays.....

In that vein, what's better now than it used to be? Sometimes we crave the "good ol days" but lots of times the present is far better than the past.

 

[Bookishleigh]

Definitely my cup of tea (though I prefer lemonade). I'm jealous of your Dom. However... You are aware of what bone bruises do and are, right???

That's the limit of my public service announcement.

I bruise super easily so he didn't do as much damage as it appears. Besides, I'm not a small, dainty thing - the bones in my thighs are, um, well-insulated. We will leave it at that.

As to the Dom comment, he's not my Dom - but he can keeping trying.

 

[BCJ4]

I bruise super easily so he didn't do as much damage as it appears. Besides, I'm not a small, dainty thing - the bones in my thighs are, um, well-insulated. We will leave it at that.

As to the Dom comment, he's not my Dom - but he can keeping trying.

Is it proper Litiquitte to ask for audio or visual of your next sesssion?