literotica VIRGIN, begging for your input

[csassy]

This is my first attempt at a story like this. Help a girl out- what are your thoughts?!

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James takes Control of his step-daughter:

Marie walked into her step-father’s office knowing what was waiting for her. She had been late for the third night in a row. Her mother, who was lenient on the 19 year-old girl, was at work and so James, her step-father was left with the discipline responsibilities.
“What,” Marie stated belligerently. James let out a low groan not looking forward to dealing with his step-daughter. He looked at her dispassionately, she looked nothing like her plane mother so he had to assume her black hair and deep brown eyes came from her father. His gaze swept over her tight orange t-shirt and low-rider jeans, he wasn’t a fool, and he knew why she has been late for curfew: the boys liked Marie and she liked them. When he married her mother two years ago, Marie had eyed him like a new toy. But he remembered her type from when he was 16; Marie is what they called a cock-tease.
“What?!” She exclaimed cocking her hip.
“Where were you? You’re late… again.” James leaned back in his chair behind his desk and indicated with his hand that she should take a seat across from him.
Marie sat in the chair he offered, she hated these lectures, “I do understand how time works James,” James rolled his eyes as she stressed his name. She did that when she wanted to annoy him, “I know I’m late. Sorry. Can I go know?” With that she stood and turned towards the door, her jeans rode low on her hips giving James a view of her pink underwear peaking out of the back.
“Sit, Marie.” James sat up in his chair trying to cover the semi-erection he perpetually sported in Marie’s presence. He wondered if her date was favored a glimpse of those panties this evening. He cleared his throat, “You’re mother is going to be angry, why can’t you just be on time?”
Marie turned around and looked down at her step-father. She inwardly sighed over his handsome features; the boys she dated would never compare to him. Her only defense against her maddening crush on her step-father was her flippant behavior. Marie used her flirtation and ‘bad attitude’ as a shield to fool her mother. Marie’s mother always fretted over the poor relationship James and Marie had and Marie liked that, it was safe.
But tonight Marie was exceptionally frustrated with her attraction to James. She had gone out with an older boy hoping he’d measure up but he left her feeling just as the other boys did: aggravated and empty. Marie knew James wasn’t comfortable around her because of her flirting so she decided to make him just as aggravated.
Marie turned around with a slow move of her hips. James leaned back in his chair noticing the change in her attitude. He was not looking forward with dealing with his step-daughter’s antics. Tonight he was just too much on edge to deal with her flirtations.
“Why can’t I be on time, Daddy?” She smiled when she saw the annoyance flicker through his blue eyes at her use of ‘daddy’. “I’ll tell you why; because it takes me so long to get Johnny off. I try so hard to get him to cum faster. I must be doing something wrong… I use my hands then my mouth… I’ll try harder next time, promise.” Marie looked down at her step-father with innocent laughing eyes. She leaned over allowing her shirt to gap in the front, making sure James got a view down her shirt.
“Don’t be vulgar, Marie. I’m not in the mood,” James couldn’t help eyeing the view Marie willingly provided him. He looked down her shirt and realized she wasn’t wearing a bra; James could see the tops of Marie’s full-smooth breasts and no longer had to worry about a semi-erection; he now had a full hard-on. Seconds went by and he couldn’t pull his gaze away from his step-daughters tits, he could make out the outline of her hard nipples through her t-shirt and swore under his breath.
“See something you like, Daddy?” Marie saw the hunger in her step-father’s eyes. He never allowed himself to look at her like that and she fully enjoyed it; her pussy was already throbbing with need. She was determined to get up to her room as soon as possible so she could finger herself remembering that look on James’ face. Marie pushed herself away from the desk and turned her back to James walking towards the door, “That’s the same look Johnny had before he pushed his hand down my pants,” she teasingly offered over her shoulder. “Goodnight, James.”
As she reached for the door handle Marie was unexpectedly pushed against the door frame, she could feel James’ body pressed along the length of her; his cock pushing into her back. He quickly grasped both of her wrists and held them with one hand over her head. His voice turned to gravel as he whispered in her ear, “Not James, Daddy. I’m so sick of your games Marie. Just call me Daddy.”
Marie’s breathing became labored as James pushed against her, what was he doing? “What do you think you’re doing, Daddy? Get off me!” She bucked her hips in an attempt to push him off her but inadvertently rubbed her ass against James’ hard cock. He pushed back against her, groaning as he massaged his cock against Marie’s ass. Marie got worried now; her games never went this far- not even with Johnny. She would tease but never let him touch her. But with every move of James’ hips Marie struggled a little less, liking the feel of his heavy cock on her ass.
When James felt Marie relax a little he moved his free hand up to her rib cage under her shirt, his hand stopped short of her right breast. He squeezed a little, “Are you done teasing me, Marie?” James waited for an answer but head nothing from his step-daughter. With a hard thrust of his hips he pushed his hand hiring taking her firm tit in his hand. He roughly twisted her nipple between his finger and thumb and asked again, “Marie, are you going to tease daddy anymore?”
Marie couldn’t believe how her body was reacting to her step-dad’s touch; she could feel her panties soaking through with her excitement. What did he want her to say? She turned her head so she could see James’ face. His normally relaxed features were tight, his jaw clenching as he looked down at her. His hand continued to work on her nipple as he slowed his hips- now, gently rubbing his hard cock against her firm-jean covered ass.
“I won’t tease…. I won’t tease you anymore… I’m sorry,” her voice cracked as she licked her lips looking over her shoulder at her step-dad. His grip loosened on her wrists and she was thought, disappointedly, that he would let her go. She didn’t want him to move away from her but could see sense was coming back to him as he started to step away from her. Marie rested her head on the door trying to balance her breathing as she dealt with her disappointment. She scolded herself; she shouldn’t be lusting after her mother’s husband anyway.
James looked down at Marie’s body leaning against the wall, he loosened his grip on her wrists and stepped back so his cock was no longer pressed against her ass. He could feel his dick throbbing with need and looking at Marie now didn’t help his resolution to stop. Devilishly James thought to himself, what the fuck? His cock was throbbing and she was a little cock-tease; he wanted to fuck his step-daughter more then he’d ever wanted to fuck anyone. James noticed Marie pushing herself up from the door and quickly made the decision that he wasn’t finished yet.
“Stay!” He yelled behind her and was pleased when she stopped cold. With both hands on her waist he cupped her rib cage raising his hands up to cup her breasts. Her little orange t-shirt was gathering up around his hands and he quickly pushed it over her head. He looked down the front of Marie as he stood behind her, cupping and massaging her firm tits. “You wont be late again… do you know why?” Whispering in her ear he started kissing her neck, biting at her ear.
“Why?” Marie asked, her knees turning to jell-o as her step-father felt her up against the office door.
Smirking to himself, James slowly lowered his right hand to Marie’s tummy firmly holding her to the front of his body. “Because, I’ll be giving you more then what you’re getting from Johnny,” and with that James plunged his hand down Marie’s jeans. She gasped in surprise as James’ fingers wiggled under her panties. As soon as he found his destination James let out a low groan of pleasure: his little step-daughter was dripping with it. “Fuck, tell me you like daddy’s fingers better then your boyfriends… you love it.” To emphasize his words James pushed two fingers deep into Marie’s soaking pussy. She was so tight; he felt his cock jump against her ass. Hearing her sweet moan he continued to plunge his fingers in and out of her as he rubbed roughly against her firm ass. “Say it,” he reminded her harshly.
Closing her eyes to the overwhelming sensation Marie moaned and bore her hips down on James’ fingers. “Yes! I like it, I love your fingers, daddy. Please, don’t stop fingering me! Don’t stop…” Marie felt a third finger push deep inside her; over her gasps and James’ grunts she could hear the distinctive sound of her step-father’s fingers moving in and out of her wet pussy.
James removed his hand from Marie’s hard nipple to unzip his pants, he was about to cum and he didn’t want to cum like a teenager in his pants. As soon as the cold air hit his cock he had to grit his teeth; he was so close. James continued to finger fuck his step-daughter as he unzipped her jeans and pushed them down over her hips. He wanted to mark her with his cum, groaning at the thought of cumming on her sweet little ass he plunged his dick up into the crack of her bottom.
Marie wiggled her hips helping her jeans slide down her thighs further. Her back arched to present her ass better to her step-dad and she new she was going to cum soon. Marie experienced a moment of shame as she thought of being fingered by her step-father but it was quickly replaced by a craze of lust when James’ brought his second hand between her legs to play with her clit while he pushed three soaking fingers into her.
Grunting loudly now James’ rubbed his cock up and down Marie’s crack as both his hands worked feverishly to make her cum. He felt her tightening up and so he pushed his fingers deeper urging her to cum, “Cum for daddy, Marie. Cum all over my fingers, NOW!”
Moaning, Marie closed her eyes and felt her stomach knotting. Arching her back, Marie rested her head on James’ shoulder to scream her out her orgasm. Her hips bucking down and up on his slick fingers; James bit down on her shoulder as he let his cock explode all over Marie’s tight ass. Moaning and grunting he pushed his hips up rubbing his cock against her smooth ass.
Marie felt his cum splash up on her lower back as the last of her orgasm shook her body. The only sound in the sparse office was the heavy breathing of step-daughter and step-father. James’ cum covered the front of him and dripped down Marie’s back. He pushed away from his step-daughter still breathing heavily. He eyed her as he picked up her discarded t-shirt and cleaned himself off. Watching her gain control of her breathing James’ rain the dirty shirt over her back and ass, cleaning his sticky cum off of her. When he was finished he walked back to his desk, zipping his pants up on the way. Calmly he sat down and smoothed his hair out as he watched Marie do her pants up with her back facing him.
“You can go up to your room now,” he told her, “I know you wont break curfew again.”
Marie reached out for the door handle holding her dirty t-shirt to her chest covering her breasts. As she stepped out into the hallway James stopped her again, this time with his voice, “Know that I’ll be handling the discipline around her from now on, Marie. Next time you break a rule you know what’ll happen… and next time I might not be so nice. Understand?”
A shiver of something between fear and excitement ran through Marie’s stomach straight to her still throbbing clit. “Yes, daddy,” she breathed as she ran upstairs to shower.

 

[SweetWitch]

Interesting. Are you going to submit it?

 

[csassy]

I think so... I was hoping to get some feedback first... maybe change it up a bit accordingly.

 

[Iamcanadian28]

Well, since my post didn't get any feedback, I'll try helping you a bit. The story definately has a hot concept and some potential.

The downside is that the grammer is not very good at all, which detracts from your writing rather severely. What you really need is a good editor to help fix those problems for you and if you find one that's available, let me know.

Here's a few pieces of grammer advice though. Paragraphing is critical. Paragraphs should contain only one subject, be double spaced between, no longer than 6-7 lines (for ease of reading online) and never contain dialogue from more than one character.

Try re-reading your work and correcting those issues and you should be ready to post. You can always edit your submissions after they are posted and you get feedback on your work.

 

[FernieLyn]

some comments

Hi,

I just read the first few paragraphs, then skimmed the rest. There were grammar and punctuation errors, as well as misspelled words. You had a problem with homophones. Here are some of them:

plane mother: it should be "plain", as in, not exceptionally beautiful; "plane" would refer to levels, e.g. "planes of existence", or "planes and angles"

"Can I go know?": it should be "Can I go now?"; "now" i.e., immediately, is different from "know" i.e., to be aware/cognizant of (something)

wont: should be spelled as "won't" (with apostrophe); wont is a noun by itself and is different from the contraction of "will not", which is "won't"

I glanced at the rest of the story, and I think it's interesting. I hope you find an editor to help you iron out the kinks in your story. Follow the earlier poster's advice on paragraphing. Good luck!

 

[The_Fractal_King]

You need a space between the paragraphs. Most people find trying to read a wall of text impossible.

On the upside it seems to be written for Incest/Taboo so people will probably like it. Skimming through I noticed you didn't seem to use bust sizes or hieght/weight tables. That's good!

I wasn't able to read it as is but if the people above are right you need to do a lot of grammar work. A lot of people like editors but you can usually catch enough mistakes by putting it aside for a few days and then rereading it that readers won't mind.

 

[csassy]

Thanks for the feedback! I'm going to apply what everyone said and change the story accordingly... I appreciate the time everyone took to read (or skim) the story!

 

[tickledkitty]

This is actually not that bad. I read the other comments first and was expecting something much worse.

Something I noticed that I don't think anyone else commented on is that you keep using the terms stepfather and stepdaughter more than is necessary. You've already said that is their relationship in the first paragraph. You don't need to keep repeating it.

Also, in addition to putting a space between paragraphs, set the dialogue apart, as well. For example:

“What,” Marie stated belligerently. James let out a low groan not looking forward to dealing with his step-daughter. He looked at her dispassionately, she looked nothing like her plane mother so he had to assume her black hair and deep brown eyes came from her father. His gaze swept over her tight orange t-shirt and low-rider jeans, he wasn’t a fool, and he knew why she has been late for curfew: the boys liked Marie and she liked them. When he married her mother two years ago, Marie had eyed him like a new toy. But he remembered her type from when he was 16; Marie is what they called a cock-tease.

Should be:

“What?” Marie asked belligerently.

James let out a low groan not looking forward to dealing with his step-daughter. He looked at her dispassionately. She looked nothing like her plain mother, so he had to assume her black hair and deep brown eyes came from her father. His gaze swept over her tight orange t-shirt and low-rider jeans. He wasn’t a fool, and he knew why she has been late for curfew; the boys liked Marie and she liked them. When he married her mother two years ago, Marie had eyed him like a new toy, but he remembered her type from when he was 16. Marie was what they called a cock tease.

Notice I corrected the grammar and spelling too. You have to separate that first sentence because it's Marie talking. Then the next sentence starts a new paragraph because it's what James is thinking.

How about you fix this and let us take a look at it again?

 

[Elianna]

I NEVER read incest/taboo stories, but the story did pull you in. I think you've got a nice little plotline for some expansion, too.

I noticed the same thing TK said about the stepdad and daughter thing. I also think you used a lot of Marie and James and could have used some she and he pronouns to break it up.

I generally try not to repeat the same name in the same paragraph or the next following quotes. It just keeps the repetition down.

I saw some grammatical things, too, but I usually miss a couple, too. I'd give it an edit or send it to an editor. Then submit it... see what happens. You might want to inquire about the incest/taboo section and feedback... I'm not sure if that's a category where you have to have a tough skin. I know you better know what you're doing in LW and BDSM.

Good luck.

 

[ellynei]

Really liked it.

If you can't find an actual editor person, I'll offer an unprofessional beta-proof-read beginner to beginner.

 

[SweetWitch]

Really liked it.

If you can't find an actual editor person, I'll offer an unprofessional beta-proof-read beginner to beginner.

You can't beat a deal like that, csassy.

The story definitely has potential. You write descriptively and vividly. With some polish it could be quite good.

 

[The_Fractal_King]

I saw some grammatical things, too, but I usually miss a couple, too. I'd give it an edit or send it to an editor. Then submit it... see what happens. You might want to inquire about the incest/taboo section and feedback... I'm not sure if that's a category where you have to have a tough skin.

From what I hear Incest/Taboo tends to get lots of high votes. I'm sure there are plenty of good stories there but supposedly people just go there for stroke material. From the few stories I've seen comments on there it's mainly suggestions on who's going to fuck who next and compliments on how many times the reader got off to the story.

Besides, now that I've had a chance to actually read it, the story is quite good. All it needs is a bit of work hammering out grammar so people can follow what's happening. I doubt anyone is going to loathe this story, after all getting positive comments from here tends to take much more effort than getting the same from readers.

I know you better know what you're doing in LW and BDSM.

I'm so glad no one ever told me that. Let's not terrorize the new writer with horror stories about parts of Lit she might never enter, though. Her imagination can run wild and get trampled by someone else if it ever comes up.

*cackles*

 

[Unlucky7]

Your story is tightly written. It has a few grammatical errors. The step father concept is, I feel well over done, this is a near incest technique and has been used the world over to cover up deeper perversions and proliferate more socially acceptable sexual fantasies.

It's just a litte tright.

 

[csassy]

Thanks

It has been my experience that something old to one person may be new to another. Tright and over done things to the experienced may be taboo and exciting to a novice.

I did notice the grammatical errors... after I posted- it's a simple step but I didn't re-read this story properly! I wont forget in the future!

Thanks for your feedback Unlucky7!

Your story is tightly written. It has a few grammatical errors. The step father concept is, I feel well over done, this is a near incest technique and has been used the world over to cover up deeper perversions and proliferate more socially acceptable sexual fantasies.

It's just a litte tright.

 

[HornyHenry]

I agree with all the comments posted here

About the poor spelling, grammer, paragraphs, etc.
And the flying mom, "nothing like her plane mother"
and "he pushed his hand hiring taking"
and "but could see sense was coming back to him"
and that sort of stuff.

Some of the stuff sounds unreal, like sticking his hand down her tight jeans and inserting 3 fingers into her while she's standing up. I know from experience that that's almost impossible. But it's still hot the way you wrote it.
Read some good stories and see how they are formatted, Fix all these things, and submit it.

The only thing I want to add is that it is a hot scene, but just that, a scene.
How about adding another scene, like the next time she screws up, and has to suck him off or whatever.
With some connecting story to build up interest?

 

[lurker_256x]

I enjoyed the story csassy... I would look for more from you.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

csassy, welcome.

I think you've got a good story but I think you fall between categories here. Stepfather/daughter relations are not incest and, although taboo, might not get the readership going.

Also , as others have said, you need a bit of punctuation editing. Iuse colons and semicolons too much, but you beat me. A lot of your colons (semi)as well should be new sentences.

I tried in Word to do a lot of color editing - but it doesn't paste here. This is my effort.

I think your story is good, but I thought the ending was a bit limp.
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James takes Control of his step-daughter:

Marie walked into her step-father’s office knowing what was waiting for her. She had been late for the third night in a row. Her mother, who was lenient on the 19 year-old girl, was at work and so James, her step-father was left with the discipline responsibilities.

“What,” Marie stated belligerently.

James let out a low groan not looking forward to dealing with his step-daughter. He looked at her dispassionately, she looked nothing like her plane mother (She was so different from her mother) so he had to assume her black hair and deep brown eyes came from her father. His gaze swept over her tight orange t-shirt and low-rider jeans, he wasn’t a fool, and he knew why she has been late for curfew: the boys liked Marie and she liked them. When he married her mother two years ago, Marie had eyed him like a new toy. But he remembered her type from when he was 16;(first ‘sixteen’ but the lit’s roules, never mention an age under eighteen) Marie is what they called a cock-tease.

“What?!” She exclaimed cocking her hip.

“Where were you? You’re late… again.” James leaned back in his chair behind his desk and indicated with his hand that she should take a seat across from him.

Marie sat in the chair he offered, she hated these lectures,.

“I do understand how time works James,”

James rolled his eyes as she stressed his name. She did that when she wanted to annoy him,.

“I know I’m late. Sorry. Can I go know now?” With that she stood and turned towards the door, her jeans rode low on her hips giving James a view of her pink underwear peaking out of the back.

“Sit, Marie.” James sat up in his chair trying to cover the semi-erection he perpetually sported in Marie’s presence. He wondered if her date was favored a glimpse of those panties this evening. He cleared his throat,.

“You’re mother is going to be angry, why can’t you just be on time?”

Marie turned around and looked down at her step-father. She inwardly sighed over his handsome features; the boys she dated would never compare to him. Her only defense against her maddening crush on her step-father was her flippant behavior. Marie used her flirtation and ‘bad attitude’ as a shield to fool her mother. Marie’s mother always fretted over the poor relationship James and Marie had and Marie liked that, it was safe.

But tonight Marie was exceptionally frustrated with her attraction to James. She had gone out with an older boy hoping he’d measure up but he left her feeling just as the other boys did: aggravated and empty. Marie knew James wasn’t comfortable around her because of her flirting so she decided to make him just as aggravated.

Marie turned around with a slow move of her hips. James leaned back in his chair noticing the change in her attitude. He was not looking forward with dealing with his step-daughter’s antics. Tonight he was just too much on edge to deal with her flirtations.

“Why can’t I be on time, Daddy?” She smiled when she saw the annoyance flicker through his blue eyes at her use of ‘daddy’.

(The jump here is not explained enough.)

“I’ll tell you why; because it takes me so long to get Johnny off. I try so hard to get him to cum faster. I must be doing something wrong… I use my hands then my mouth… I’ll try harder next time, promise.” Marie looked down at her step-father with innocent laughing eyes. She leaned over allowing her shirt to gap in the front, making sure James got a view down her shirt.

“Don’t be vulgar, Marie. I’m not in the mood,” James couldn’t help eyeing the view Marie willingly provided him.

He looked down her shirt and realized she wasn’t wearing a bra; James could see the tops of Marie’s full-smooth breasts and no longer had to worry about a semi-erection; he now had a full hard-on. Seconds went by and he couldn’t pull his gaze away from his step-daughters tits, he could make out the outline of her hard nipples through her t-shirt and swore under his breath.

“See something you like, Daddy?” Marie saw the hunger in her step-father’s eyes.

He never allowed himself to look at her like that and she fully enjoyed it;. Her pussy was already throbbing with need. She was determined to get up to her room as soon as possible so she could finger herself remembering that look on James’ face. Marie pushed herself away from the desk and turned her back to James walking towards the door,.

“That’s the same look Johnny had before he pushed his hand down my pants,” she teasingly offered over her shoulder. “Goodnight, James.”

As she reached for the door handle Marie was unexpectedly pushed against the door frame, she could feel James’ body pressed along the length of her; his cock pushing into her back. He quickly grasped both of her wrists and held them with one hand over her head. His voice turned to gravel as he whispered in her ear, “Not James, Daddy. I’m so sick of your games Marie. Just call me Daddy.”

Marie’s breathing became labored as James pushed against her, what was he doing?

“What do you think you’re doing, Daddy? Get off me!” She bucked her hips in an attempt to push him off her but inadvertently rubbed her ass against James’ hard cock.
He pushed back against her, groaning as he massaged his cock against Marie’s ass. Marie got worried now; her games never went this far- not even with Johnny. She would tease but never let him touch her. But with every move of James’ hips Marie struggled a little less, liking the feel of his heavy cock on her ass.

When James felt Marie relax a little he moved his free hand up to her rib cage under her shirt, his hand stopped short of her right breast. He squeezed a little, “Are you done teasing me, Marie?” James waited for an answer but head nothing from his step-daughter. With a hard thrust of his hips he pushed his hand hiring taking her firm tit in his hand. He roughly twisted her nipple between his finger and thumb and asked again, “Marie, are you going to tease Ddaddy anymore?”

Marie couldn’t believe how her body was reacting to her step-dad’s touch; she could feel her panties soaking through with her excitement. What did he want her to say? She turned her head so she could see James’ face. His normally relaxed features were tight, his jaw clenching as he looked down at her. His hand continued to work on her nipple as he slowed his hips- now, gently rubbing his hard cock against her firm-jean covered ass.
“I won’t tease…. I won’t tease you anymore… I’m sorry,” her voice cracked as she licked her lips looking over her shoulder at her step-dad. His grip loosened on her wrists and she was thought, disappointedly, that he would let her go.

She didn’t want him to move away from her but could see sense was coming back to him as he started to step away from her. Marie rested her head on the door trying to balance her breathing as she dealt with her disappointment. She scolded herself; she shouldn’t be lusting after her mother’s husband anyway.

James looked down at Marie’s body leaning against the wall, he loosened his grip on her wrists and stepped back so his cock was no longer pressed against her ass. He could feel his dick throbbing with need and looking at Marie now didn’t help his resolution to stop.

Devilishly James thought to himself,” what the fuck?” His cock was throbbing and she was a little cock-tease; he wanted to fuck his step-daughter more then he’d ever wanted to fuck anyone. James noticed Marie pushing herself up from the door and quickly made the decision that he wasn’t finished yet.

“Stay!” He yelled behind her and was pleased when she stopped cold. With both hands on her waist he cupped her rib cage raising his hands up to cup her breasts. Her little orange t-shirt was gathering up around his hands and he quickly pushed it over her head. He looked down the front of Marie as he stood behind her, cupping and massaging her firm tits.

“You won’t be late again… do you know why?” Whispering in her ear he started kissing her neck, biting at her ear.

“Why?” Marie asked, her knees turning to jell-o as her step-father felt her up against the office door.

Smirking to himself, James slowly lowered his right hand to Marie’s tummy firmly holding her to the front of his body.

“Because, I’ll be giving you more then what you’re getting from Johnny,” and Wwith that James plunged his hand down Marie’s jeans. She gasped in surprise as James’ s fingers wiggled under her panties. As soon as he found his destination, James let out a low groan of pleasure: his little step-daughter was dripping with it.

“Fuck, tell me you like daddy’s fingers better then than your boyfriends… you love it.”

To emphasize his words James pushed two fingers deep into Marie’s soaking pussy. She was so tight; h . He felt his cock jump against her ass. Hearing her sweet moan he continued to plunge his fingers in and out of her as he rubbed roughly against her firm ass. “Say it,” he reminded her harshly.

Closing her eyes to the overwhelming sensation Marie moaned and bore her hips down on James’ fingers. “Yes! I like it, I love your fingers, daddy. Please, don’t stop fingering me! Don’t stop…” Marie felt a third finger push deep inside her; over her gasps and James’ grunts she could hear the distinctive sound of her step-father’s fingers moving in and out of her wet pussy.

James removed his hand from Marie’s hard nipple to unzip his pants, he was about to cum and he didn’t want to cum like a teenager in his pants. As soon as the cold air hit his cock he had to grit his teeth; he was so close. James continued to finger fuck his step-daughter as he unzipped her jeans and pushed them down over her hips. He wanted to mark her with his cum, groaning at the thought of cumming on her sweet little ass he plunged his dick up into the crack of her bottom.

Marie wiggled her hips helping her jeans slide down her thighs further. Her back arched to present her ass better to her step-dad and she new knew she was going to cum soon. Marie experienced a moment of shame as she thought of being fingered by her step-father but it was quickly replaced by a craze of lust when James’ brought his second hand between her legs to play with her clit while he pushed three soaking fingers into her.

Grunting loudly now James’ rubbed his cock up and down Marie’s crack as both his hands worked feverishly to make her cum. He felt her tightening up and so he pushed his fingers deeper urging her to cum, “Cum for daddy, Marie. Cum all over my fingers, NOW!”

Moaning, Marie closed her eyes and felt her stomach knotting. Arching her back, Marie rested her head on James’ shoulder to scream her out her orgasm. Her hips bucking down and up on his slick fingers; James bit down on her shoulder as he let his cock explode all over Marie’s tight ass. Moaning and grunting he pushed his hips up rubbing his cock against her smooth ass.

Marie felt his cum splash up on her lower back as the last of her orgasm shook her body. The only sound in the sparse office was the heavy breathing of step-daughter and step-father. James’ cum covered the front of him and dripped down Marie’s back. He pushed away from his step-daughter still breathing heavily. He eyed her as he picked up her discarded t-shirt and cleaned himself off.

Watching As he watched her gain control of her breathing James’ rain the dirty shirt over her back and ass, cleaning his sticky cum off of her. When he was finished he walked back to his desk, zipping his pants up on the way. Calmly he sat down and smoothed his hair out as he watched Marie do her pants up with her back facing him.

“You can go up to your room now,” he told her, “I know you wont break curfew again.”

Marie reached out for the door handle holding her dirty t-shirt to her chest covering her breasts. As she stepped out into the hallway James stopped her again, this time with his voice, “Know that I’ll be handling the discipline around her from now on, Marie. Next time you break a rule you know what’ll happen… and next time I might not be so nice. Understand?”
A shiver of something between fear and excitement ran through Marie’s stomach straight to her still throbbing clit. “Yes, daddy,” she breathed as she ran upstairs to shower.

 

[exploringwords]

Some of the stuff sounds unreal, like sticking his hand down her tight jeans and inserting 3 fingers into her while she's standing up. I know from experience that that's almost impossible. But it's still hot the way you wrote it.

Very clearly you did not see the Step Father as a dwarf and the Step Daughter as an Amazon, if you had you would see that even fisting is possible in such a configuration. J/K

I thought the story was pretty good, I am a noob though.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

My Input

Good story overall. I've submitted numerous stories to the incest cat and have fared quite well. In fact that's likely one reason why I've written more stories there than in any other cat.

I was disillusioned by the celebrity and erotic horror cats since I still have very well-written stories there, such as one CSI chapter and five Castle Keep stories still languishing after, in some cases, more than a year while waiting for the magic "10" votes to get an "H" rating.

The quick and numerous incest votes "pulled me in", so to speak, as long as you don't mind the content. I was uneasy at first but it became increasingly easier, with the votes helping. After posting so many (148 total, a bunch in the incest cat) I have seen a trend I'll warn you about. If the story is good it'll start out strong, but then the trolls hit it and it'll dip disappointingly low. But give it another few days and it'll float back up into the "H" territory and likely remain there, if it's good and true to the cat.

The difficulty in incest is finding an appropriate ending. That can get tricky. If you want to check out a few examples, try reading the last chapter, and resulting reader comments, of my Stormy Desire and Ripples on a Pond series. One I flubbed, possibly, and one I got right, perhaps. It might be worth your time to look it over and learn from my experience if you plan on ongoing posts in that cat.

If you have any specific questions feel free to PM me. If you need an editor/mentor I'm available, PM me if interested in "abusing" me, lol. Welcome, sister <wink>

Here's the whole list: http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=479657&page=submissions

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Very clearly you did not see the Step Father as a dwarf and the Step Daughter as an Amazon, if you had you would see that even fisting is possible in such a configuration. J/K

I thought the story was pretty good, I am a noob though.

With that allusion, your noob status is cancelled immediately.

I'm not sure I agree, but it's made me re-read and see what you mean. Thanks.