literotica all about sex-positivity. So why such moralizing comments on Loving Wives?

[LMWM321]

I’ve posted just three stories. The two posted in Loving Wife’s elicited some moralizing comments, particularly the last about my mature kinky wife who enjoys periodically selling herself - all with my knowledge and support. Though I don’t like the idea of deleting comments, I felt compelled to delete 2 that were incredibly vile, including one that threatened violence upon both my wife and me.

I’m curious why this particular comment wasn’t refused by the editors. And why would people go to a sex-positive kink forum then blast people who are sex-positive and embrace their consensual kinks?

If you’re curious, here's the story. And if you happen to read it please leave feedback.

https://www.literotica.com/s/mature-hot-wife-turns-a-trick

 

[HordHolm]

Yeah... we live on a planet with 8 billion other people most of whom, at one point or another (or all the time, depending on your viewpoint) do a bunch of irrational things. Loving Wives is one small corner of the WWW which seems to act like a magnet to a handful of the more irrational. There isn't much that can be done except to thicken one's skin.

 

[AlinaX]

In Loving Wives, you can expect hatred from a section of readers towards your characters. That said, any comments focusing their hatred on real people deserve deletion.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I’m curious why this particular comment wasn’t refused by the editors. And why would people go to a sex-positive kink forum then blast people who are sex-positive and embrace their consensual kinks?

The site doesn't screen comments for content, but for embedded spam links.

As the author, you can manage your comments yourself, by deletion if you so choose.

Comments can also be reported, and if so, the site might take action, but equally, might not. If there's a repeat offender, their multiple comments can be purged, and the account holder banned. That can't be done for anon comments, obviously.

Lastly, there's evidence over the years that the site regularly runs a hate speak bot through the comments - authors have reported vicious comments disappearing, but not been deleted by them.

To answer your basic question, LW is misogyny central. There's very often not much love for women in many stories there, nor from the commentators. It's a category with laws unto itself, it's not representative of the rest of Lit. You might be better off submitting to other categories - or cope with the hostility.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I’ve posted just three stories. The two posted in Loving Wife’s elicited some moralizing comments, particularly the last about my mature kinky wife who enjoys periodically selling herself - all with my knowledge and support. Though I don’t like the idea of deleting comments, I felt compelled to delete 2 that were incredibly vile, including one that threatened violence upon both my wife and me.

I’m curious why this particular comment wasn’t refused by the editors.

AFAIK, the only pre-moderation applied to comments is for spam. The details haven't been given openly but I think it's an automated process. As you've figured out, authors do have the ability to delete comments, and you also have the option to report them if they break site rules.

And why would people go to a sex-positive kink forum then blast people who are sex-positive and embrace their consensual kinks?

It's advertised as "sex-positive", but not everybody who reads LW got the memo.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Lastly, there's evidence over the years that the site regularly runs a hate speak bot through the comments - authors have reported vicious comments disappearing, but not been deleted by them.

This could also be from other readers reporting them, though.

 

[ElectricBlue]

This could also be from other readers reporting them, though.

True, but I vaguely recall a whole bunch of "common hate words" being suggested, all at once, years ago.

 

[lc69hunter]

Yesterday, while browsing through the Feedback Forum, I ran into a diatribe almost 400 words long (I pasted into my wordprocessor just to see), all about me, calling me out by name, calling everything but a human male, and not even mentioning the story I commented on (I didn't even remember the story). As I do like to troll the BTB folks, apparently his rage had been building for a long time, and he had to vent (anonymous).

When I went back and looked at the story, five months ago I posted a one sentence comment to the effect that everyone seems to have forgotten the husband's share of the problem. Apparently that is what set him off

 

[NoTalentHack]

This may give you some insight: https://literotica.com/s/loving-loving-wives

 

[LMWM321]

thx all!

I guess I thought the comments were reviewed for content b/c when I've submitted them for others I get a "Your comment is being reviewed" auto-reply. I understand now it's more for spam than for content.

So where would have been a better place to post my story? The premise is a happily married couple who - on their 20th Anniversary - decided to allow each other to occasionally be with other people. Her particularly itch is selling herself to a stranger (vetted by her husband). Loving Wife's seemed like the perfect place. But if it's a cauldron of misogyny, no thanks. It's not that I'm so offended by the comments, it's just that they seem to suggest the story isn't much appreciated.

Can I move it somewhere else now that it's been published? After all the work writing it, I'd like to present it to the right audience, and get more than a small handful of comments.

 

[NoTalentHack]

thx all!

I guess I thought the comments were reviewed for content b/c when I've submitted them for others I get a "Your comment is being reviewed" auto-reply. I understand now it's more for spam than for content.

So where would have been a better place to post my story? The premise is a happily married couple who - on their 20th Anniversary - decided to allow each other to occasionally be with other people. Her particularly itch is selling herself to a stranger (vetted by her husband). Loving Wife's seemed like the perfect place. But if it's a cauldron of misogyny, no thanks. It's not that I'm so offended by the comments, it's just that they seem to suggest the story isn't much appreciated.

Can I move it somewhere else now that it's been published? After all the work writing it, I'd like to present it to the right audience, and get more than a small handful of comments.

Erotic Couplings or Mature might work, but you’ll still get some heat. You’ll get some just about anywhere, both here and on other sites. Even Lushstories, which is very swapping/sharing friendly has people that comment there angrily about nonmonogamy if there’s even a hint of cheating about it.

As to comments, though? You’re not going to get more comments anywhere other than LW. Place is comments central.

 

[AlinaX]

If you want comments and views, Loving Wives isn't too bad, you just have to deal with the vocal minority of drive-by haters.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I’ve posted just three stories. The two posted in Loving Wife’s elicited some moralizing comments, particularly the last about my mature kinky wife who enjoys periodically selling herself - all with my knowledge and support. Though I don’t like the idea of deleting comments, I felt compelled to delete 2 that were incredibly vile, including one that threatened violence upon both my wife and me.

I’m curious why this particular comment wasn’t refused by the editors. And why would people go to a sex-positive kink forum then blast people who are sex-positive and embrace their consensual kinks?

If you’re curious, here's the story. And if you happen to read it please leave feedback.

https://www.literotica.com/s/mature-hot-wife-turns-a-trick

Over the last three years of posting stories, I've had two comments deleted from my LW stories by the Admins. There are many others which are hateful which I leave posted. But the one I know they deleted was "EAT SHIT AND DIE!" (yes, in all caps). The other recently disappeared before I had a chance to read it.

I'm not aware of any specific standards they use to pre--screen comments, but no one is perfect. So, I think the deletions are a matter of opinion of which Admin is reviewing and just how they feel that day. Or maybe it's others reporting something.

I don't take offense to any of them.

As for WHY they come here to hate, ... some are traumatized by something in their own life. Contrary to what some equally judgmental people here think, the LW readers are not misogynists. They don't hate women. The haters there hate cheaters, and it's just that the majority of the cheating stories there are cheating wives.

The LW readers are equally divided between those who enjoy sharing stories, and those who HATE sharing stories, even when it's consensual. And the haters seem to just be more vocal, giving that category a bad reputation.

So, unless you're obsessed with getting a "Red-H", just know that if your story in LW is rated 3.6, then in some other category it would have risen to between 4.4 to 4.6, but it would have only been viewed by half as many people.

I'll read it within the next hour or two, and I promise to leave a comment.

 

[offkilter123]

you made an erroneous assumption by assuming that visitors are coming to this site because it is a sex positive website. Many of the readers in Loving Wives would be deeply ashamed to be caught reading stories. They lean far right and are deeply MAGA. I had one of them threaten to rape my mother.

I published a story there two day ago called Plaid Jacket Jackson that currently sits at 4.53, 30K views, and 147 comments, which is not bad for 48 hours. It is at heart a BTB story, but is also a strong criticism of racism, book banning, and Moms for Liberty type organizations. It is also pretty funny. No brainer right? Wrong. There were comments calling me an asshole and I don’t understand public policy and my writing is shite. So, if the commenters are willing to go to war to defend racism and book banning, what will they do about your plot?

 

[LMWM321]

"Likes" to all of you above - thanks for your remarks!

Just to be clear, I'm not that easily offended. I fully expected negative comments, even some name-calling - just as I've seen with stories others have published. But this one commenter said she should be anally-raped by a bunch of men (used a racist term to describe them) then beaten to within an inch of her life... Then the same should happen to me.. I'm paraphrasing but that's the gist of it. It was a couple paragraphs long - just went on and on. Yikes. I haven't read that many comments to other stories, but this seemed worse than any other I've read. Not surprisingly, it was from an Anonymous reader. Anyway, it won't stop me from posting stories. But maybe to a different catagory.

And thanks Lifestyle66 for your offer to read it and comment. Any others, please feel free.

https://www.literotica.com/s/mature-hot-wife-turns-a-trick

 

[NoTalentHack]

you made an erroneous assumption by assuming that visitors are coming to this site because it is a sex positive website. Many of the readers in Loving Wives would be deeply ashamed to be caught reading stories. They lean far right and are deeply MAGA. I had one of them threaten to rape my mother.

I published a story there two day ago called Plaid Jacket Jackson that currently sits at 4.53, 30K views, and 147 comments, which is not bad for 48 hours. It is at heart a BTB story, but is also a strong criticism of racism, book banning, and Moms for Liberty type organizations. It is also pretty funny. No brainer right? Wrong. There were comments calling me an asshole and I don’t understand public policy and my writing is shite. So, if the commenters are willing to go to war to defend racism and book banning, what will they do about your plot?

Man, i can’t wait to see how they react to Powderkeg, about a marriage coming apart as the world rushes to open up “after” COVID.

 

[offkilter123]

Man, i can’t wait to see how they react to Powderkeg, about a marriage coming apart as the world rushes to open up “after” COVID.

Will MAGA heads explode?

 

[NoTalentHack]

Will MAGA heads explode?

Oh, I expect to get a lot of anger from multiple directions.

 

[LMWM321]

I'll read it within the next hour or two, and I promise to leave a comment.

Thanks for the great feedback to my story Lifestyle! All points taken with appreciation. And because of your encouragement - and others here in this thread - I'll continue to write stories involving my amazing wife and will continue to publish them to Loving Wives. Hater's be damned.

 

[lilshymynx]

This isn't a LW specific thing, you will find moralizing all over the site when the story doesn't align with the readers' likes or kinks. I/T is full of people that will chastise the author over various sexual acts they find "disrespectful". like anal or anything involving swinging, which is amusing given that they might be on a story about a parent fucking their child. I've seen some comments that were just as abusive as some that have been reported for LW stories, especially when a story involves swinging.

That said, as others have pointed out, LW is a lightning rod for those kinds of comments and gets a much higher percentage of the vile ones.

 

[kathyisgr65]

I’ve posted just three stories. The two posted in Loving Wife’s elicited some moralizing comments, particularly the last about my mature kinky wife who enjoys periodically selling herself - all with my knowledge and support. Though I don’t like the idea of deleting comments, I felt compelled to delete 2 that were incredibly vile, including one that threatened violence upon both my wife and me.

I’m curious why this particular comment wasn’t refused by the editors. And why would people go to a sex-positive kink forum then blast people who are sex-positive and embrace their consensual kinks?

If you’re curious, here's the story. And if you happen to read it please leave feedback.

https://www.literotica.com/s/mature-hot-wife-turns-a-trick

I've seen it and some ppl feel the need to spread negativity and push their values on others. They intentionally seek out something looking for a fight.

 

[Andrew1968]

I have just had a new story of mine published in Loving Wives. I am just watching it and deleting comments as they come in. Most comments are not required and are systematically removed. I usually forewarn people that I will delete comments and I do.

 

[ElectricBlue]

thx all!

I guess I thought the comments were reviewed for content b/c when I've submitted them for others I get a "Your comment is being reviewed" auto-reply. I understand now it's more for spam than for content.

So where would have been a better place to post my story? The premise is a happily married couple who - on their 20th Anniversary - decided to allow each other to occasionally be with other people. Her particularly itch is selling herself to a stranger (vetted by her husband). Loving Wife's seemed like the perfect place. But if it's a cauldron of misogyny, no thanks. It's not that I'm so offended by the comments, it's just that they seem to suggest the story isn't much appreciated.

Can I move it somewhere else now that it's been published? After all the work writing it, I'd like to present it to the right audience, and get more than a small handful of comments.

Erotic Couplings or Mature, maybe Group (but read there first to make a judgment).

To change category, resubmit the story as is (or make a version correcting the typos you spotted a micro-second after it went live), with EDIT added to the title. Add the new category, and include a Note to the Editor.

With the current backlog, expect to wait two or three weeks, even longer. Edits are low priority for the site.

Your story scores and meta-data remain unchanged, but you don't get another run on the new category's front page.

Curate your comments in the meantime, or you can turn them off and back on again at any time, story by story. If you turn your scoring off at any time, which you can do from your Control Panel, the story is no longer eligible for Contests. But, since it will have been in LW for a while, there's little chance of that anyway.

My rule of thumb for comments is one per thousand Views - Lit is very low feedback, really.

You won't get more comments by moving category, but they won't be as hostile.

If you want comments, stay in LW, but make your own judgement call as to the nature of the comments you'll get. It's the great divide within Lit. Some writers thrive on the audience, the rest don't go near it with a barge pole. Make your life choice, and stick with it, would be my advice.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

Simple answer; people are crass and fucking stupid.

 

[LMWM321]

Again... Thanks all! I'm learning a lot from your comments. Much appreciated.