Lit poems 2020--

[Senna Jawa]

This thread and

Lit poems 2020++​

complement each other and the same introduction as in the previous thread applies here as well. The only difference is that this time the reviewed poems had to be published in Literotica archive BEFORE 2020-01-01.

There were many nice poems in the past at Literotica. The authors are mostly forgotten, especially due to the common Literotica anonymity (some authors -- many -- are not even with us anymore). It'll be great to bring these poems back to life. We may even compare the past and the present, what would be the evolution?

 

[Senna Jawa]

"A mother's Nightmare" by Svenskaflicka

Svenskaflicka's poem

A Mother's Nightmare (illustrated)​

is charming, and the illustration underneath too.

Please, read the poem BEFORE you read the rest of this post! Please!!!

The poem is an episode in 12 lines which would be like prose but for the line-breaks, rhymes and irregular but still rhythm. Indeed, there is not a single metaphor, simile, juxtaposition, kenning, ... The text in this sense is pure.

Then, can it be art? -- In general, no. But that's how the art is that sometimes, just because of the things being extremely-totally wrong we may get art, or not; in this case we do.

The obvious thing is that this poem is good-natured fun. Also, the poem is honest, direct, there are no tricks, nothing, while Svenskaflicka still kept certain suspense and a wonderful surprise at the end. Moreover, the shockingly unexpected entry of Britney was just wonderful.

====

PS. People voted on "A mother's..." many times. I am simply annoyed that the poem scored only 3.84. Well, after my reading, its score is 3.85. . Anyway, it doesn't matter.

 

[Senna Jawa]

"Under This Dress" by SwirlingGrl

The archive has only one poem by SwirlingGrl, namely

Under This Dress​

Right now, this is a good time to read the poem, then -- optionally -- you might read the rest of this post.

It's not common these days that a poem has 170 lines including the blank lines or about 140 non-empty lines. On top of it, the poem is focused very narrowly. The poem kept my attention almost non-stop. There was a maximum of two moments when I slowed down (my somewhat weak eyesight didn't help) but I kept going back to the speed and was glad to do so.

The poem is very romantic about two people who would be lovers but are not. The poem has some barely light pornographic accents but indeed not in any heavy way, not at all (treated as something granted). The poem is rather like a long love mantra. For a long time, the poem is dreamy, the lyrical subject imagines meeting her man literally (physically) but somehow ends up with the necessity of illusions restricted to her mind.

After about two-thirds or three-quarters of the poem, we find out that the lyrical subject (the narrator) and the man are committed and have to be loyal to their partners (perhaps to their husband and wife respectively). That sounds like the end of the story except that the woman is still tempted and hopes that the man will be interested in an adventure. Thus the mantra gets renewed but more dramatically, i.e. in a somewhat heavier tone.

The author was able to carry the voice through the long text impressively well, had rich enough language and was inventive. To the regular (but romantic) narration some afterthoughts were added -- very nice, elegant, moody.

Let me finish this comment with the ending of the poem:

[...]
But always, dear, under this dress,
I will be every bit your girl -

Even if you should never claim me.​

-

 

[Piscator]

Thanks for sharing.

It's appears to be the only poem SwirlingGirl submitted and leave me wishing for more.