Light bondage question

[JulieArt]

My wife and I want to try some light bondage, basically restraining her to the bed. This is experimental and a first for us. Any suggestions on a good type of "starter" restraints we might use?

And yes, this idea bubbled up from reading Fifty Shades of Gray. Specifically where Ana is tied down, and is wearing headphones and blindfold.

We gotta start somewhere, right?

 

[subwannabe]

For starters I would just use neckties. If not too tight they can be both comfortable and very effective.

 

[eastern sun]

The easiest place to start is with things you already have - like neckties, scarves, stockings, clothesline, electrical extension cord - depending on your style and aesthetics. Look ahead of time for places you can tie her wrists or ankles to the bedframe. For a first time, you don't have to get too complicated - just one or two points of restraint (i.e. one or both wrists, or right wrist/left ankle is enough). At this point, work with her anatomy, rather than against it (in other words, don't force her joints to move into positions of stress).

Keep your knots loose (use the two-finger rule - you should be able to slip two fingers easily between the cord and her skin - and I'd even suggest using slipknots in your first session, that way you know you can release it quickly if you want to). Other people may have better suggestions of knots - I'm not usually the one tying them. Know that if she pulls against the restraint, she can end up tightening a knot and making it harder to get out of.

You can also improvise with dog leashes and choke collars on wrists and ankles, and mountaineering straps - things that hold tight with easy releases. And I recommend that you try everything on yourself before you try it on her, just to know what it feels like. Sometimes certain textures and materials can be very irritating for reasons you can't foresee.

Have fun.

 

[JulieArt]

The easiest place to start is with things you already have - like neckties, scarves, stockings, clothesline, electrical extension cord - depending on your style and aesthetics. Look ahead of time for places you can tie her wrists or ankles to the bedframe. For a first time, you don't have to get too complicated - just one or two points of restraint (i.e. one or both wrists, or right wrist/left ankle is enough). At this point, work with her anatomy, rather than against it (in other words, don't force her joints to move into positions of stress).

Keep your knots loose (use the two-finger rule - you should be able to slip two fingers easily between the cord and her skin - and I'd even suggest using slipknots in your first session, that way you know you can release it quickly if you want to). Other people may have better suggestions of knots - I'm not usually the one tying them. Know that if she pulls against the restraint, she can end up tightening a knot and making it harder to get out of.

You can also improvise with dog leashes and choke collars on wrists and ankles, and mountaineering straps - things that hold tight with easy releases. And I recommend that you try everything on yourself before you try it on her, just to know what it feels like. Sometimes certain textures and materials can be very irritating for reasons you can't foresee.

Have fun.

Thanks. That is very helpful. I particularly appreciate the "two-finger" rule. And, I will make sure not to cause any stress.

I'm sure I have plenty of old ties around--one advantage of the switch to business casual!

 

[Chaingun]

Or head to the hardware aisle of Home Depot for BDSM on a budget. LOL


But as mentioned, be careful. Make sure as you're learning that nothing is going to hurt her...until she tells you that she likes to be hurt.

 

[AaronAardvark]

Google soft cotton cord, or similar, and you can find a rope that will always be useful; a cord which, if you discover you don't like bondage, can still be used to keep your pyjamas up. Make sure it is 100% cotton. If you use this stuff keep a big pair of scissors handy, big enough to snip through two strands of the rope instantly. Even 100 m of rope need not be too expensive

I don't like slip knots, if you don't know what you are doing they can tighten in all the wrong places. I don't recommend using ties, stockings or the like, because if they contain a significant proportion of a man made fibre all kinds of unexpected problems can ensue with unexpectdly tight knots. Similarly, don't ever wet cords as knots can become impossible to undo.

Finally, in an emergency, scissors are far safer than knives.

 

[Netzach]

EMT safety shears, six bucks or so, bam, Always go where I go. And when you're leading a more boring life, they're rockin' cheap ass kitchen shears.

I'm more of a fan of nylon rope for starter bondage, because cotton WILL hold a knot like crazy, crazy crazy. Make sure that you get the nylon rope that feels silky and flexible and doesn't have that yucky nylon core in it, though - you can check the end for the core and pass over stuff that has it.

Knots are not where the bondage skill lies, really. I can tie a bowline, and a reef knot if you threaten me maybe, but you don't have to know these - if you can tie your shoes you can do bondage. I think the square knot is the only one you really have to depend on at the end of the day at times- if you're not doing crazy stuff, you won't even need it.

If you make your knot happen in an inaccessable place, voila - no can escape.

There are a lot of good starter tutorials floating around on the net for things like handcuffs and hand-to-bedpost ties. Google "shibari tutorial" and start with the easiest stuff, how to tie a hand, a leg.

I do like cotton bandannas a lot. Not for the looks, but definitely for the versatility as a way to tie hands, make a quick gag, tie feet - you'd be surprised.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'm with Netz on the bandannas. In fact-- thanks, I'd forgotten about that! One nice thing is that you can roll them softly-- even though you tie them tightly, the loose roll makes a comfortable wrap for wrists and ankles.

If you go the "silk scarf" route, you'd better be aware that scissors might be the only way to untie those knots. Silk and fine nylon pull REAL tight.

google single column tie bdsm and double column tie bdsm for the two most basic ties-- safe way to do ankles and wrists. Back in the Dark Ages, I hurt a guy's wrist pretty badly with a knot that got tighter and tighter.

 

[midwestyankee]

Another really inexpensive option requires a simple trip to the hardware store for something that is usually sold as "plastic twine" but looks more like Saran Wrap on a roller. It's usually about two or three inches wide and outside of the bedroom is used to bundle odd-shaped things together. It's easy to use, extremely cheap on a by-the-foot basis, and can be wrapped around a wrist like a bandage so the bond is wide and not likely to cause big problems. You can buy a few hundred feet of this stuff for under $10.

I'll echo Stella's point on using silk. That is one very expensive lesson, I'm afraid to say.

 

[eastern sun]

A walk down memory lane . . . back when we met, my husband was one of those long-haired guys who regularly wore a bandana. He would pull it off, and twist it around my wrists without even untying it - it made a really convenient pair of "handcuffs."

I have always loved bandanas.

 

[hunter303073]

Hmm

If you can't tie a knot tie a lot. Soft cord or rope but make sure it does not holofil or collapsible, they get very tight. Just use the granny knot, like you tie your shoe over and over and it is untied just as easily

 

[Netzach]

Actually what I like to do for messin' around bondage is to take both ends when it's time to tie it off and make a single crochet line, crochet five or six stitches in it. Like SC crochet, no needle. Just leave super long ends.

That mofo will NOT come loose, but if the end is pulled it instantly comes apart.

 

[Daxaeha]

...Back in the Dark Ages...

Is vastly over-exaggerating time a fact of getting older or is it just a coincidence that most of the 30+ people I know do this?

Actually what I like to do for messin' around bondage is to take both ends when it's time to tie it off and make a single crochet line, crochet five or six stitches in it. Like SC crochet, no needle. Just leave super long ends.

That mofo will NOT come loose, but if the end is pulled it instantly comes apart.

I love this idea, probably because I understand the concept.

 

[DVS]

I still stand by my love of Velcro, which you can get a most Walmarts or Home Depots. The two sides have sticky backing so you fit the two sides together and cut to your desired length. Be sure to put the softer side against the skin. The width and length I prefer is 2"X15'. Usually it comes in black or white, but it might be available in other colors.

It comes in 3/4" width, but I think the 2" width feels better against the wrist, and it also has more strength to hold. It's also quick to release someone in an emergency...no worries with knots that won't come loose. It's adjustable to fit, and you can use most anything you want to attach it to a bedpost. Also, the basic elastic knee support by Ace is great for holding ankles. It stretches a little, but not enough to get free and like the Velcro, you can use most any method you want to attach it to the bed frame.

You can also use the same knee support on wrists, if you tie it off so the opening is smaller to fit the wrist, but it's not guaranteed against escape.

 

[bux_fan]

The belt to my bathrobe was used for my first bondage experience, my ex-wife tied me to the bedframe and I loved it ever since. Neckties or even leather belts can be used.