lifetime chanel : repressed bdsm?

[bunny bondage]

ok, i know i'm not the first person to notice that every single movie on that "lifetime : television for women" chanel involves either some brutal vicious man doing something terrible to a woman or a spiteful bitch trying to control a man. do you suppose they have a bunch of repressed bdsm'ers on the writing staff? this can't be coincidence.

 

[Lancecastor]

Mostly unhappy 35-50 year old women execs is my guess.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Mostly unhappy 35-50 year old women execs is my guess.

Men write that crap.

Eb

 

[lark sparrow]

lol I don't have that channel, but I know the general genre you are speaking of - see what happens when people don't negotiate honestly?

 

[rosco rathbone]

ok, i know i'm not the first person to notice that every single movie on that "lifetime : television for women" chanel involves either some brutal vicious man doing something terrible to a woman or a spiteful bitch trying to control a man. do you suppose they have a bunch of repressed bdsm'ers on the writing staff? this can't be coincidence.

Those are the only terms in which the media is able to dramatize sexual struggle. BDSM is perhaps another way, but that doesn't make the Lifetime hacks bdsm'ers.

 

[Marquis]

I think society in general is full of repressed BDSM.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I think society in general is full of repressed BDSM.

I believe you are confusing two things. Society is full of something-or-other. BDSM is how some people choose to deal with it. I don't think it is for everyone.

 

[lark sparrow]

Re: Re: lifetime chanel : repressed bdsm?

Those are the only terms in which the media is able to dramatize sexual struggle. BDSM is perhaps another way, but that doesn't make the Lifetime hacks bdsm'ers.

lol Rosco, I say this tongue in cheek, but also with a bit of seriousness... these terms seem something that might not only appeal to your desires, but your view on the relations between men and women these days from reading your posts. Perhaps more people feel like you than it would appear. Have I got it all wrong?

some brutal vicious man doing something terrible to a woman or a spiteful bitch trying to control a man

 

[rosco rathbone]

I actually DO feel like there are a lot of people who feel like me-and don't even know it themselves. Them I refer to as "the constituency".......

Glad to see that someone is reading my rantings. Yes, I'm kinda obsessed with sexual warfare right now. My head knows that its all part of the universal ball of swirly higher force, but my heart knows only rage and pain.

 

[lark sparrow]

I read them and find them interesting. Although I often strongly disagree personally, it's a point of view I wouldn't mind learning more about. I do wonder what it is like for those who feel the "sexual warfare" strongly and yet have little choice but to somehow reconcile.

I've always maintained that as a lesbian, I am far less likely to be a "man-hater" than a heterosexual woman would be, as strong emotions, love to hate are more common, than say luke warm to I hate your guts. I don't have that push/pull sexually with "opposite" sex, though power issues can still arise, of course.

Anyhow, thanks for the reply.

And I agree with Marquis in that D/s (don't know about repressed BDSM) is very much a way of the world and nature. It's one of things I find fascinating about BDSM - the art of D/s. If you look at the animal kingdom, it's full of subtlety, negotiation and highly stylized/ritualized drama as well when used to create peaceful relationships and social bonds.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I tend to get along with lesbians, especially butches, for exactly those reasons. I often wonder what my private sexworld has in common with that of this or that lesbian top.

 

[lark sparrow]

Can't be of any use there, as is not butch or a Top and the butch/femme concept has never held any sexual appeal for me. I've never been intimately engaged with an overtly butch-identified woman. One would peg me for femme, but those roles do little for me.

Perhaps it is almost like creating a third gender. As I know a few women who define themselves as a "boi" or "Syr", but think they have little interest in sex reassigment or actually becoming a male. That's another topic I would like to learn about as well. Sex as opposed to gender. Physical as opposed to head/mental spaces.

OK, getting way off topic here lol.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I've been seeing this "boi" term around and about. I thought it refererred to feminized young men such as the hero of avril lavigne's "Sk8r Boi".

 

[lark sparrow]

For those D/s, butch inclined lesbians who identify this way a boi is a submissive, bottom or slave. A Daddi or Syr would be the equivalent to a Top or Dominant.

 

[artful]

ok, i know i'm not the first person to notice that every single movie on that "lifetime : television for women" chanel involves either some brutal vicious man doing something terrible to a woman or a spiteful bitch trying to control a man. do you suppose they have a bunch of repressed bdsm'ers on the writing staff? this can't be coincidence.

No,...it is not coincidence. The efforts of the media have always been *sensationalism*. Some agencies merely focus on their brand of *attention* getting topics.

 

[Marquis]

I stand by my assertion that society is full of repressed BDSM. Think about how often scenes in movies that aren't ostensibly supposed to be sexy come off sexy. Like when the bad guy captures the good guy's girl and makes allusions to raping her.

What about the music industry? I hear little girls running around singing songs called "I'm a slave for you" and "hit me baby one more time" and you can't go to a hip hop club without seeing women dancing to a song about sex and violence.

 

[bunny bondage]

ooh, good point, marquis. i remember hearing that song "slave for you" or something like that and thinking "damn! this girl obviously has a dom or two writing her songs!" i've also seen several stand-up comics making references to D/s and other kinks. perhaps bdsm is slowly becoming accepted?

 

[Marquis]

Oh, and speaking of BDSM in society, I had the unfortunate oppurtunity recently to watch Dr. Phil. Talk about being Oprah's sub! I quote, "we men are stupid, but we can be taught." I could almost feel his hand reaching through the television screen with a pair of shears, trying to castrate me.

 

[artful]

Marquis,...

I stand by my assertion that society is full of repressed BDSM. Think about how often scenes in movies that aren't ostensibly supposed to be sexy come off sexy. Like when the bad guy captures the good guy's girl and makes allusions to raping her.

What about the music industry? I hear little girls running around singing songs called "I'm a slave for you" and "hit me baby one more time" and you can't go to a hip hop club without seeing women dancing to a song about sex and violence.

...of course SEX and VIOLENCE have always been the two most attention getting topics in our mainstream media,(and there are perceived notions as to BDSM being both of those), mostly I would agree with you in that OUR society,(USA),...there is repressed sexuality. Whether it be BDSM or not,...I will withold an opinion.

Also,...I would state, there are many more repressions in this society than most folks are aware of. Hence the divorce rate,...the break-up of family unity,...educational issues,...the loss of authority to govern ones responsibilities without outside interference,...etc.

Like the energizer bunny,...the list goes on and on.

It's not just about repression either,...it is *fitting* a perceived, needed slot in our society by the powers that be.

Forcing the masses into a given mold. I wonder what our prison population is today? Does it really have concern for any of us? Do any of us ask the "Why" anymore,...or do we just accept what *IS*?

 

[UCE]

I've been seeing this "boi" term around and about. I thought it refererred to feminized young men such as the hero of avril lavigne's "Sk8r Boi".

I've seen it used in that meaning, too. For instance, if you want to find goth guys that dress up like women on Yahoo groups, you type in the search term "boi" and get lots of groups. I thought it was a goth thing, but gay men (at least the ones on yahoo) have started to pick it up too.

Unda

 

[UCE]

ok, i know i'm not the first person to notice that every single movie on that "lifetime : television for women" chanel involves either some brutal vicious man doing something terrible to a woman or a spiteful bitch trying to control a man. do you suppose they have a bunch of repressed bdsm'ers on the writing staff? this can't be coincidence.

In the classic romance novel, one common theme is that the man and the woman often start out hating each other and he does brutal or cruel things to her during that phase but then they fall madly in love.

But in these Lifetime dramas, the females and males stay enemies forever. It's like these stories take a step backwards into barbarity, although they seem to be trying to imitate the daytime soaps, where everybody hates everyone at some time or another.

One such show, not on Lifetime (think it was on HBO) that had a touch of class mixed in with the tawdry plot was called _The Lives and Loves of a She-Devil_. It's a very long British min-series. I loved it because the downtrodden woman gets revenge on her rich bastard husband. She does it in this extraordinary way. She also gets revenge on the rich bitch girlfriend of her husband. (AND... it had a cameo of Tom Baker, a favorite actor of mine, playing a priest who gets his toes massaged and licked by a horny beauty, but that's beside the point).

Unda

 

[Pure]

Marquis,

Another great thread!

Marquis:

I stand by my assertion that society is full of repressed BDSM. Think about how often scenes in movies that aren't ostensibly supposed to be sexy come off sexy. Like when the bad guy captures the good guy's girl and makes allusions to raping her.

What about the music industry? I hear little girls running around singing songs called "I'm a slave for you" and "hit me baby one more time" and you can't go to a hip hop club without seeing women dancing to a song about sex and violence.


I see your point, especially about the 'seizing and carrying away' type stories. Perhaps too, those dark lover (Jane Eyre) or ruffian lover (Wuthering Heights) stories, where the 'darkness' or violence is clearly a turn on. Things tend to 'work' out: Rochester is punished for his sins; Heathcliffe becomes a gentleman; the couple are united in the end (or tragically tragically separated--even more romantic).

What Roscoe said, though, may point to some one things--something, but not bdsm. One is the violent 'slasher' type movie; prom queen massacres, etc.

There is the 'kill the men' movies like '.45 calibre,' I think is the title, where two woman, after the rape of one, go on the warpath and kill a bunch of _other_ guys, some fairly harmless. Heavy!

There are the sexual warfare movies, like War of the Roses.

Lives of a She Devil (British version) is sexual warfare, in that I agree with UCE. But it's a comedy, though pretty black. Very funny too. It does have the impotent, untimately pathetic male figure, who's common in sit coms. Older female's rage against the younger, the 'bimbo' is pretty evident.

Maybe the thing RR is trying to point to-- or at least what I see-- is the cruel impulses of humankind. We all fantasize killing, from the time we enjoy fairy tales (Hansel and Gretel) and Wizard of Oz.

There are two things, at least, that can be done with that impulse, by way of eroticizing it:

1) Take it over the top: Murder, as in the sex-killer movies (Just saw the jacket of a video 'Bundy'), and

2) the 'true' bdsm where the 'victim' consents, and is NOT left in bloody diced state, but preserved for future exploits: 9 1/2 weeks, somewhat; and --I hear second-hand-- Secretary, which has been talked about here, a bit.

Just some thoughts...

J.

 

[rosco rathbone]

The "something" I was referrring to was what I see as the unending state of war between the sexes. My hypothesis has always been that BDSM was one way of working these issues out. This is not always a popular theory, because people often don't want to admit that they are motivated by anger, bitterness and sexual rage and hatred.

I think that almost all people feel these negative emotions for the other sex, to a greater or lesser degree, that does NOT make all people BDSMer's. Not everyone libidinizes these emotions.

 

[Pure]

Well and concisely put RR,

I do get wordy.

Not everyone libidinizes these emotions.

Or having done that, takes steps to ensure that the 'object' is alive and well the next day..... for the next round, of course!

 

[Cirrus]

Not that I'm all about labels or anything, but people like to classify, I guess for our own peace of mind...that way we can say something "is" one thing and "is not" another. Makes it all easier to the brain, I suppose.

So...what would I be called? I'm a heterosexual female, not even remotely bi-curious and certainly not lesbian. I LOVE men, but somewhere along the line, be it a trick of genetics, psychology, or parenting (or in my case, lack of), I seem to have identified more as male myself. I don't think I'd want gender reassignment, because then that would make me a gay man (right?) and I don't want to date gay men, I want to date hetero men.

I dress masculine, or ambiguously, and my hair is very short, by female standards. I've actually been mistaken for male on a few occasions (which I absolutely hated...it hurt very badly). Still, my ideal would be, and this is very confusing, to be a male, to date and have sex with heterosexual men, while still being treated in relationships like a female.

So am I this mysterious third sex, or in need of a lot of therapy?