Life is Short. Have an Affair.

[Selena_Kitt]

Okay, I've been out of it. I had NO idea something like this existed.

"Life is short, have an affair." That's their tagline.

Seriously? Wow.

The logic... I guess... behind this, was that people who were looking to have affairs could have affairs with EACH OTHER... instead of with unsuspecting singles. Or going to escorts. A community for people who want to have affairs, where everyone has the same expectations, a place they could meet and hookup.

And they claim that most people don't leave their marriages as a result of going to their site. They just have affairs, and stay married.

Hm.

What do y'all think?

 

[3113]

What do y'all think?

I think it's ripe for disaster. Either from a blackmail schemer, or a religious reformer, or just a husband/wife finding out what sites you've been visiting on the internet

I mean, wouldn't it be better to 'fess up to your partner that you wanna be a swinger?

 

[Saucy_Sage]

I think the phrase "over 3,720,000 like minded members" needs a hyphen. Like-minded members. Otherwise it means that over 3,720,000 like to have their members minded. Where's that plt when you need him?

 

[shereads]

"over 3,720,000 like minded members"

Life is too short to have that many affairs.

 

[Belegon]

Life is too short to have that many affairs.

...but if I went through that many and then met you, I'd know what I had been waiting for...

 

[Katyusha]

Okay, I've been out of it. I had NO idea something like this existed.

"Life is short, have an affair." That's their tagline.

Seriously? Wow.

The logic... I guess... behind this, was that people who were looking to have affairs could have affairs with EACH OTHER... instead of with unsuspecting singles. Or going to escorts. A community for people who want to have affairs, where everyone has the same expectations, a place they could meet and hookup.

And they claim that most people don't leave their marriages as a result of going to their site. They just have affairs, and stay married.

Hm.

What do y'all think?

I've seen that site before. I think there are going to be problems at some point down the road because someone is going to get caught, and their spouse is going to want to sue the site for enabling an affair. Whether a lawyer would actually take the case or not is anybody's guess and I haven't read any of the fine print there so I don't know what they're legally liable for and what they aren't, or if they're subject to the same vagaries that everyone else on the internet seems to be subject to these days.

I know there are already a lot of people out there who believe that the internet is responsible for the collapse of their marriages; whoever the other person was was someone online. Of course the net itself is not responsible for a damn thing, it's the people who use it that are responsible for its content and for what they do, but there's a growing number of people who say the internet *is* responsible and that online communities, chats, personals sites, etc., ought to be shut down because they foster infidelity. A website like this could find itself in one hell of a mess regardless of their fine print and where responsibility is supposed to lie.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I've probably plowed more pussy than any man, but I know for certain that when I love a woman no other woman exists. It's odd how one woman can have such an effect.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I've seen that site before. I think there are going to be problems at some point down the road because someone is going to get caught, and their spouse is going to want to sue the site for enabling an affair. Whether a lawyer would actually take the case or not is anybody's guess and I haven't read any of the fine print there so I don't know what they're legally liable for and what they aren't, or if they're subject to the same vagaries that everyone else on the internet seems to be subject to these days.

I know there are already a lot of people out there who believe that the internet is responsible for the collapse of their marriages; whoever the other person was was someone online. Of course the net itself is not responsible for a damn thing, it's the people who use it that are responsible for its content and for what they do, but there's a growing number of people who say the internet *is* responsible and that online communities, chats, personals sites, etc., ought to be shut down because they foster infidelity. A website like this could find itself in one hell of a mess regardless of their fine print and where responsibility is supposed to lie.

I believe that someone has tried to shut the site down and was thrown out of court but the details are fuzzy. Obviously I thought it was amusing but not worth remembering.

 

[CharleyH]

Okay, I've been out of it. I had NO idea something like this existed.

"Life is short, have an affair." That's their tagline.

Seriously? Wow.

The logic... I guess... behind this, was that people who were looking to have affairs could have affairs with EACH OTHER... instead of with unsuspecting singles. Or going to escorts. A community for people who want to have affairs, where everyone has the same expectations, a place they could meet and hookup.

And they claim that most people don't leave their marriages as a result of going to their site. They just have affairs, and stay married.

Hm.

What do y'all think?

I think people who are honest about what they want with their partners are blessed.

 

[The_Darkness]

I think that my wife would find out and that she would cut my balls off with a butter knife.

That and she's be emotionally crushed and I don't want to do that to her, either.

And I'm really attached to my boys.

 

[CharleyH]

I think that my wife would find out and that she would cut my balls off with a butter knife.

That and she's be emotionally crushed and I don't want to do that to her, either.

And I'm really attached to my boys.

Perhaps people who are dishonest about what they want with their partner should not be married at all.

 

[3113]

Perhaps people who are dishonest about what they want with their partner should not be married at all.

Well, but to be fair, things don't remain the same throughout an entire lifetime or partnership. A person can start out at the altar, completely honest as they say their vows, about loving only this one person forever. And then, years down the road as one or both of them change and the relationship changes, that vow no longer holds.

Divorce is often about that. People can start off honest in their marriage about what they want when they marry each other. Doesn't mean that won't change. It may become a lie after however may years, but that doesn't mean it started out as a lie.

 

[Liar]

"LIFE IS SHORT. HAVE AN AFFAIR.™"

TM?

Corporations that trademark plain fuckin English phrases should be deep fried in sesame oil and thrown to the hyenas.

 

[CharleyH]

Well, but to be fair, things don't remain the same throughout an entire lifetime or partnership. A person can start out at the altar, completely honest as they say their vows, about loving only this one person forever. And then, years down the road as one or both of them change and the relationship changes, that vow no longer holds.

I disagree. I married my partner because he knows what I desire and I know what he desires. Sure things change over time, but the one constant is always our love and devotion. Divorce is often about being disappointed, losing respect or not getting what you want out of a relationship. When you are honest in what you want and in your relationship, when you are true at every new plateau of your development in that relationship, there is only new appreciation and more love.

 

[midwestyankee]

I disagree. I married my partner because he knows what I desire and I know what he desires. Sure things change over time, but the one constant is always our love and devotion. Divorce is often about being disappointed, losing respect or not getting what you want out of a relationship. When you are honest in what you want and in your relationship, when you are true at every new plateau of your development in that relationship, there is only new appreciation and more love.

I'm sorry, but this idealized version of marriage sounds like it's coming from someone with very little life experience. It could have been copied from the pages of some kind of evangelical marriage pamphlet.

I'm sure that you have a fine relationship, but such perfection is pretty damned rare in my experience.

 

[Lady_Guenivere]

Well, but to be fair, things don't remain the same throughout an entire lifetime or partnership. A person can start out at the altar, completely honest as they say their vows, about loving only this one person forever. And then, years down the road as one or both of them change and the relationship changes, that vow no longer holds.

Divorce is often about that. People can start off honest in their marriage about what they want when they marry each other. Doesn't mean that won't change. It may become a lie after however may years, but that doesn't mean it started out as a lie.

I agree. It is a very natural process for people to evolve and change throughout their lives. Wants and needs change and so does a person's level of confidence etc. I do believe it is important to grow with your partner but it is a rare miracle for both partners to hold the exact same value system through out their marriage. Communication can help but not always.

Why do people cheat? Why do they have affairs? Because they want to sustain their marriage and their partnerships and also find outlets to fulfill needs that their partner can't fulfill, or choose not to.

Monogamy is a choice. We are not monogamous by nature...we choose it. I think that you can love your partner to death and still want to fuck someone else...it's human nature. We are all curious and we all want to be desired. For some people the need is quite strong.

It is very debateable, that is for sure. No one wants to think that their partner is being intimate with someone else...it is far too threatening. I wouldn't want my man to fuck someone else either...but at the same time...I wouldn't end my marriage over it. He is my best friend and he is human. If I can't fulfill a certain need in him, who am I to deny him. Life is too frigging short.

 

[sr71plt]

There are all sorts of relationships, even in marriage. No one has the smug formula on what works. Some marriages work because neither partner wants to live only in the other, and by not being either trapped or smothered, they get along quite fine (like for over 40 years in one such marriage I could cite. )

 

[Selena_Kitt]

There are all sorts of relationships, even in marriage. No one has the smug formula on what works. Some marriages work because neither partner wants to live only in the other, and by not being either trapped or smothered, they get along quite fine (like for over 40 years in one such marriage I could cite. )

But I doubt that most people visiting their site have a marriage where their spouse knows they're frequenting it, kwim? I have no problem with open marriages... if both people are in agreement about it.

 

[sr71plt]

But I doubt that most people visiting their site have a marriage where their spouse knows they're frequenting it, kwim? I have no problem with open marriages... if both people are in agreement about it.

Well, I'd pretty much keep my nose (and judgment) out of what others were doing unless I had some sort of relationship to one or more of them myself.

 

[3113]

I disagree. I married my partner because he knows what I desire and I know what he desires.

WHEN did you marry him? How old were the two of you? See, you can say this is true, but it's only true for the two of you. I mean, imagine if you had gotten married very young. When two people are 18 or so, they can mean absolutely what they say at the altar. They can think "This is what I want!" and "This is the one and only person for me!"

Many 18 year old think they know what they want and who they want forever. I thought I knew at 18 what I was and what I wanted. Two years of college and I found I didn't. In fact, I fell right into something completely opposite of what I started out in. And that was only two years down the road. Yet people do marry at age 18 imagining what life will be like and having no idea that it isn't going to be like that at all. Their vows, though they don't know it, are contingent on certain dreams happening exactly as they expect them to happen--and both them and their partner staying the same. And it's rare that this occurs.

And what about shocking, unexpected events that can transform the person you think you know into something very different? I remember a woman who was happy, sweet, adored by her husband. She went through a terrible loss and found evangelical Christianity. Suddenly, her husband didn't know her any longer. Suddenly, that "I married my partner because I know what he desires and he knows what I desired" vanished from that marriage. She suddenly desired something she'd never desired before, and he couldn't provide it.

Shit happens, Charley. And I wouldn't think you naive enough to imagine that people can't be--or at least believe that they are being totally honest at the altar, then finding that what they said was true is no longer true years down the road for whatever reason.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

WHEN did you marry him?]

Still in the honeymoon stage...

 

[Katyusha]

I'm sorry, but this idealized version of marriage sounds like it's coming from someone with very little life experience. It could have been copied from the pages of some kind of evangelical marriage pamphlet.

I'm sure that you have a fine relationship, but such perfection is pretty damned rare in my experience.

Same here. Interpersonal relationships, regardless of their nature, are complicated things, and being honest with others about your needs and wants is not always an easy thing. In fact, more often than not, it's very hard. And everyone needs to keep in mind the fact that every relationship is different in some way, simply because there are different people involved. Different people = different dynamics = different abilities to communicate needs. There's no formula out there for making a relationship successful and we can't look at someone and say, "This works for me, therefore it works for everyone, and if it's not working for you then..." It's not that simple.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

We have, my SO and I, been married for 37 years. Now I'm not saying all those years were pleasant or easy on us...we had to work at it, that's for sure.

After so long a time, I must admit, that my eyes have wandered. Just the sight of Sarahh or Jen or Selena's AV's makes my blood boil and my mind wander...but back to the point...did I have a point?...crap. Now I can't get images of Sarahh or Jen or Selena out of my head.

 

[kendo1]

I believe that someone has tried to shut the site down and was thrown out of court but the details are fuzzy. Obviously I thought it was amusing but not worth remembering.

Mm. Fuzzy Bear. Are you a muppet?

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Mm. Fuzzy Bear. Are you a muppet?

That would be my twin brother, Bobo. Show business never appealed to me.