Life as a tapestry

[BustyTheClown]

Life is rich. At least, I like to think it's rich, with lots of color and activity -- like in a tapestry. Myself, I have big plans for my tapestry. I always have. Part of it has been being told what to expect out of life, so I weave it accordingly, and part of it has been of my own imagination and desires. Those are the parts I love the most -- the parts that are just me.

What happens if you hit a snag? What if you decide that what you've been told about how your tapestry should look -- not only that, but you've been designing it that way because everyone said it was the best way for you to do it -- what happens if you decide that's not how you want it to look? I'm struggling with that right now, and it has some serious implications for how the rest of my tapestry will look -- at least, to me it will.

My snag is college. I'm discovering that it isn't what I'd been told, it isn't what I'd told myself it would be. In fact, it's SO different that I don't like the way it looks on my tapestry -- the colors seem to be clashing, the style doesn't fit in, the thread is too thick... In any case, it doesn't fit, and I'm afraid that if I stick with it, it will ruin my plans. If I don't stick with it, it might also affect the outcome of the rest of my plans. I feel like I can make my life turn out beautifully without college, but I've been told about how important it is so many times that it scares me just thinking about not sticking with it.

Then again, I remind myself of all the people who made HUGE contributions to society on minimal education -- Mister William Shakespeare himself being one of the most obvious in my mind. If I'm planning on writing as a career, and I'm already a strong writer, who's to say I couldn't be excellent without college? I haven't written a good story in four years, and it just gets harder and harder for me to be creative with the more academic papers, essays, and analyses I write.

So what do I do? Do I rely on hundreds of years of instruction on how to weave my tapestry, and stay in college? Or do I follow my imagination, wit, and intelligence, and free-style it? I just want to lead the richest life I can -- not in the monetary sense, but in the emotional, mental, intellectual sense -- and I'm afraid that I won't be able to do that if I stay at college any longer...

I know nobody can really answer these questions for myself but myself, but I would greatly appreciate any advice people can give.

 

[AzureAngel]

Here's my cheap advice.

You follow what feels right. It's your tapestry. Make a choice you won't regret, whatever that is. Surely neither choice is going to be perfect... but make the best choice that you are able to and let it be.

It might help you to seek out successful authors of whatever genre you're most interested in. See what their opinions are. Did THEY finish college? Did they feel it necessary, either way? Might be interesting.

 

[BustyTheClown]

Here's my cheap advice.

You follow what feels right. It's your tapestry. Make a choice you won't regret, whatever that is. Surely neither choice is going to be perfect... but make the best choice that you are able to and let it be.

It might help you to seek out successful authors of whatever genre you're most interested in. See what their opinions are. Did THEY finish college? Did they feel it necessary, either way? Might be interesting.

Lol your advice is never cheap, Azure. That was a great suggestion, and I just might take you up on it! It'd be interesting in the very least.

 

[alexandraaah]

I don't have time to read your whole post right now, but I assure you, all your questions will be answered if you listen to Carole King's album: Tapestry.

Over and over and over again.

Good luck!

 

[paphian]

It's just one guy's opinion...

But there are alternatives to college.

I hated college. So I didn't stay. I had the SAT scores, I had the ability. School was never difficult. But the longer I was there, the more I saw my life being one of the sort I didn't like. I've never had the "Yuppie" aspirations.

Did a few years in the Navy to see the world and have a fall-back trade, a lot more years of working for some company or another, and then finally struck out on my own. I've been a freelance consultant for about 10 years now.

Net result? By many people's standards, I'm "poor" and I've "wasted" my life.

But I'm happy, I have spare time to do the things I want (and the income sufficient to support them). I own my own home, get to travel enough to keep me interested, and have a life many people turn out to envy, when they really get honest about things.

The downside is that all this independence is a lot of work, and there are rare occasions when I'd like more "stuff" more quickly than I'm capable of having it.

I guess the sum of what I'm saying here is that college isn't "mandatory". You can be very successful (on your own terms, rather than those of others) by virtue of your own efforts.

Good luck!

 

[BustyTheClown]

Re: It's just one guy's opinion...

Hey paphian, you exactly summed up how I feel about college. I'm attending one of the best colleges in the country, so I obviously have the ability, and I used to have the will... But you're right, the longer I'm here, the more I realize that it's leading to a kind of life that I don't want to lead. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I realize it would be hard work for me if I dropped out, but all of life is hard work, and it won't be a whole heck of a lot easier if I stick it out and get a degree.

I'm not making any immediate decisions until after this summer, but I love hearing what others have to say about it. Keep 'em coming!

But there are alternatives to college.

I hated college. So I didn't stay. I had the SAT scores, I had the ability. School was never difficult. But the longer I was there, the more I saw my life being one of the sort I didn't like. I've never had the "Yuppie" aspirations.

 

[BustyTheClown]

*bump* for the evening crew

 

[APhil]

Don't feel bad...

This is my second run at college.

I'm 23 years old and still a freshman. After the first time, which only lasted a year, I was so burned out on school, I shut down for two weeks.

In between then and now, I've had jobs doing just about everything, from waiting tables to delivering pizza to being a clerk at a hotel to scooping grain. One thing life has taught me is that nothing is possible without a little education.

If you need to take a break, I say go for it. I learned a lot from my past. I hope you can learn from your future.

 

[riff]

Try this test.

Job Test

Stay in college until you either graduate or flunk out. And make sure that you are not scapegoating college for something else lacking in your life.

You asked.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

You're just going to spill coffee on it. Take Alex's advice. Buy the stupid Carole King album.

 

[Guest]

busty...there's a technique for decision making that has served me well over the years....first of all, take your time...don't let your emotions take total control...some but not total...take a blank sheet of paper and sit down when you're refreshed and thinking clearly....draw a line from left to right about a half inch from the top....divide left and right with a line forming a T with the top line....label the left side pro and the right side con....list all the pros of leaving school, even if only temporarily on one side and all the bad things that will happen to you if you do on the other...you have to be honest...now weigh those pros and cons....the freedom of leaving school will weigh heavy...the looks and talks your parents will give you may weigh heavy...anyway, when you're finished with the excercise you'll have a pretty clear feeling for the mechanical side of what will happen....

someone already suggested it but check with other writers in your field as to whether a degree had any bearing on their careers...i don't know what kind of writing you're into but if you're wanting to write tech manuals for high speed scientific computers you'll need a degree...if you want to write novels maybe not....

on a more personal level, it sounds to me like you're suffering from a bit of burn out...don't be afraid to stop for a while...get a job if you don't have one now and write...semesters are over pretty soon aren't they...get away for a while and remember you can always go back...but mainly get back to writing....whether you're ever able to make a living at it or not , don't let the talent atrophy......

the other thing you need to remember may sound a bit trite but it's true...you can do whatever you want to do if you want to do it bad enough and are willing to pay the dues...if you have to pay a few more because you don't have a degree..so be it....good luck with your decision....

 

[Guest]

this is unclej and that last, lengthy post was mine...

 

[unclej]

am i logged in now or what....

 

[BustyTheClown]

I really appreciate all the advice that's been given so far. Thank you all for your honest opinions, and I'll take it all into consideration. The whole T-chart is a great idea. I may do that.

riff, I tried taking the test but it froze on me -- I'll try it later.

unclej, thanks especially for your advice. A lot of what you say makes sense to me, even the "trite" comment at the end. It's something I believe in despite all the pessimists out there. The whole burn-out thing may very well be true. I'd be all up for going back to college if I decided to later on, I just don't think I can continue with it anymore at this point in my life.

Whoops, it sounds like I've made a decision. Don't mind me, I'm just talking out loud. It'll all have to wait until after this summer, anyway. I'm staying in England with my SO *all* summer, so I'll get a feel for what it's like there, what it's like living with him, and what I might be able to expect if I decided to stay there, or at least move back when I had the money together. I guess my college career depends a lot on how this summer goes and how much I like it...

Anyway, thanks again for all the advice -- I've taken it all to heart.