Lickmyboot's "Dark Side"

[dr_mabeuse]

Thank you for the invitation to your poetry, Lick. I went and read a few, and you are quite right; they are not bad.

Lord help me, I haven't the smarts to paste the link to your poetry here.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=134599

I'd like to talk about "Dark Side", and more for its theme than it's poeto-mechanics.
It's a vampire poem, or at least it has a lot of vampire imagery. Nothing wrong with that. There are a huge number of people who use the vampire conceit. The basic message of the vampire thing is this: my sexuality makes me a monster and it will destroy you utterly. My desires are unholy and so powerful you cannot withstand them.
And that's delicious. I love that kind of passion. I'd love to be killed by your desire and your lusts. But just what are they? What would you do to me? Do you want my body, my soul, my strength, my innocence, the whole package? Just what kind of monster are you? Is it really blood you'll suck from me? Or something more precious?
I just would really like to hear those details. I'd like to feel your cold breath on my throat. I'd like to make love to you and come in you and suddenly realize that I couldn't stop; that all of me was pouring out of me till I was a withered husk. I'd like to be kissing your breasts when suddenly your nipples roll back and there are eyes there. Or mouths. I want to know just what makes you so terrible.
So it's a good poem, but it would be better I think if you took me better and put something in my mind that I'd never forget.

Years ago I read these lines:

"Weave a spell around him thrice
And close your eyes in holy dread.
For he on honeydew hath fed
And drunk the milk of paradise."

We can't hope to stick in peoples' minds all the time. But i always look at my crap and wonder if there's any mind-darts in it. Something so knock-out that it will stay with people. That it deserves to stay with people. I never see it, but I always try for it.

---dr.M.

and I've never been able to forget them

 

[lickmyboot]

Dark Side commentary

Okay...so everyone know what the heck the Dr. is talking about here:

dark side

What happened to my Dark side?
Where has it gone?
The thoughts that used to haunt me,
Taunt me,
murderous and so very cruel.
When I had not a single care in the world
and embraced myself in shadows and night.
Where are those long, illustrious evenings,
when I danced all night
and I succumbed to my inner most desires?
How timid I have become.
It sickens me.
I am weak,
I need to feed.
I Need to Feed.
The heart's laid bare,
dripping so very sensuously
I feel the heat of fresh blood
drenching my lips
Extasy in extreme
I ride the waves in orgasmic feasting,
Love me.
Yes,
Love me.
Want me.
Desire me.
I am the flame of your Passion.
I am your need.
I am inside you.
I am your Hell--
I shall consume you as I have so many others,
laid to waste
in my wake.
The is no release--only my love.
Poison to the soul,
Desires of deadly intent.
I am the Mistress of Midnight.
I am the Black Queen.
I am the Vampire of your Soul.


This is one of the many "old" poems I posted when I first joined Lit. "What the Fuck" is another. I think Dark Side is about nine years old. It is interesting that you choose this particular poem. I consider it mediocre myself. After reading a few poems on the tops list when I first joined, I thought, well what the heck.

I'd never really written intentional "erotic" poetry before joining Lit. It was and is still a challenge for me. I find that the calibar of writing on this site, particularily this section of the board is not only inspiring, but challenging as well. I have learned many things from those select "regulars". And intentionally, I have disected very, very few poems here. I do not shy away from my own work, however. And I am not above taking the red pen in hand.

THe premise is simple. I am a chameleon. Not so much anymore, but in my youth I was literally two different people. You wouldn't know it to look at me, even today. Nevertheless, the comparison to the gothic is admittedly contrite and overused. This poem is begging for not only different imagery, but a more structured form as well. Give me a day or two to perform a rewrite with at slightly different perspective. I am unlike the geniuses of this forum and can rarely spout off with in 5 minutes. I need comtemplation time. Also--forgive me for being late in reply. Last week was a killer.

Thank you,

lick