Licking In The New Year

[bicuriousinnnj]

Licking In The New Year

I have this one particular fantasy where you and I pretend that you're 18 and a freshman in college and you still live with your parents. I'm 21 and I live off campus at another college an hour and a half away.

[Content prohibited as per Forum Guidelines]

 

[Bramblethorn]

What kind of feedback are you looking for on this?

 

[bicuriousinnnj]

What kind of feedback are you looking for on this?

Why would I dictate what type of feedback I should get? That sounds Communist.

Write what you feel.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Why would dictate what type of feedback I should get? That sounds Communist.

Write what you feel.

Sometimes authors are trying to work on one aspect of their writing and want feedback about that. I'm not sure what communism has to do with it! But if you don't have any specific requests, sure, here's my feedback:

This isn't a board for posting complete stories. It might get through here because it's very short, but generally when somebody posts a whole story here the mods will delete it. Usually this board is for getting feedback on stories that have already been submitted and posted on the story side of Literotica.

If you are looking to publish this one on Literotica, be aware that they enforce a minimum of 750 words for stories.

Many readers, myself included, aren't fond of the "you command me to lick" style of storytelling. (Sometimes called "second person" storytelling though it's really a type of first person.) A lot of authors get used to writing that way while cybering and then try to write stories the same way, but it doesn't translate well. With cybering you've got one partner (usually!) and you're tailoring the story to what they're into. With storytelling here, you've got many different readers who don't all want to be where you've put them.

You're telling a story about a young man and a young woman. Some readers will want to put themselves into the head of the man, some into the woman, some don't want to be either of those people but would love to watch. Using that "you" style of storytelling tries to push them into the head of the woman, whether or not that's where they want to be.

The sex scene is nice, but for me it'd be stronger if I knew a bit more about these people. Are they already lovers? Or is this their first time? Did he expect that she was going to come to him in the night, or is this a huge surprise? Different readers have different tastes, but folk here often prefer a little bit more development.

 

[bicuriousinnnj]

Sometimes authors are trying to work on one aspect of their writing and want feedback about that. I'm not sure what communism has to do with it! But if you don't have any specific requests, sure, here's my feedback:

This isn't a board for posting complete stories. It might get through here because it's very short, but generally when somebody posts a whole story here the mods will delete it. Usually this board is for getting feedback on stories that have already been submitted and posted on the story side of Literotica.

If you are looking to publish this one on Literotica, be aware that they enforce a minimum of 750 words for stories.

Many readers, myself included, aren't fond of the "you command me to lick" style of storytelling. (Sometimes called "second person" storytelling though it's really a type of first person.) A lot of authors get used to writing that way while cybering and then try to write stories the same way, but it doesn't translate well. With cybering you've got one partner (usually!) and you're tailoring the story to what they're into. With storytelling here, you've got many different readers who don't all want to be where you've put them.

You're telling a story about a young man and a young woman. Some readers will want to put themselves into the head of the man, some into the woman, some don't want to be either of those people but would love to watch. Using that "you" style of storytelling tries to push them into the head of the woman, whether or not that's where they want to be.

The sex scene is nice, but for me it'd be stronger if I knew a bit more about these people. Are they already lovers? Or is this their first time? Did he expect that she was going to come to him in the night, or is this a huge surprise? Different readers have different tastes, but folk here often prefer a little bit more development.

Thanks for your input. I hear you about more character detail. It's simply a scenario that came to mind, so I wrote it in a post rather than keep it in my head. I'll admit I'm not well-versed on what to post where and how.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Thanks for your input. I hear about more character detail. It's simply a scenario that came to mind, so I wrote it in a post rather than keep it in my head. I'll admit on not well-versed on what to post where and how.

When you have a story that you're ready to post on the site, go to this link:

https://www.literotica.com/my/#/activity/all

Up the top you should see a "New Story" button. If you click that, you get a form to fill in that lets you paste in your story along with things like category.

More info about story submissions here: https://www.literotica.com/faq/05235347.shtml

 

[bicuriousinnnj]

Gotcha. Thanks again!