Licensed to Thrill

along came mary

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Feb 18, 2002
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OOC: The cast of this story has been set, so please, feel free to read along. Please reserve any comments, criticisms and/or concerns to the OOC thread. Many thanks!


Jane Bondage’s five inch spike stiletto boot-heels tapped in a rapid cadence along the corridor of the Prague International Airport. Her black leather coat fanned out behind her, revealing a voluptuous, pleasing figure encased in buttery soft black leather. The tall, statuesque brunette made her way quickly yet gracefully through the milling throng of holiday travelers, garnering more than a few stares.

She was accustomed to the admiring glances and also well versed on avoiding them through the art of disguise were there to be a present need. She boarded the plane without any difficulty, skirting through inspections with her ASP still tucked neatly and comfortably at the small of her back. She settled back in her first class seat with a sigh, closing her eyes as she leaned her head back in against the cushioned leather.

She mentally reviewed the information she had been privy to in the brief but urgent conversation that came from the London headquarters, her intended destination. The conversation had eluded to a threat of chemical terrorism from a new, yet utterly diabolical foe. The information Pennywise had given her was sketchy at best, but something serious, deadly and undoubtedly endangering the state of the world as we know it was definitely afoot.

JB.txt
 
Pennwise sat behind his desk, content to be back where he held some control. This place wound about with unrealistic chances and unheard of circles that seemed to swing everywhere from management to the mail room, and yet behind his desk, he had all the control of the world.
Papers filed with perfection, transcripts put in a alphabetical and numeric order, calls coming in and out always being screened and monitored, the computer bug free, and hasn't given him a single problem in years.
It was nearing a state of artistic genius the way he worked things. Organization that went along the lines of aesthetic diplomacy.
"Yes," he said, hanging up the phone, just getting back from a brief meeting with the higher ups, filling him in on the recon mission and the new information that had been gathered. As he sat behind his desk, he sifted through all of the information.
"Jane..." the name coming out more like a sigh than anything else, "such a shame. We should have gotten someone attractive on this case."
He cracked a smile, attempting something of humor, before rummaging through the rest of the report. She would have her workd cut out for her. This would be a tough one.
Nothing she couldn't handle though.
 
Dr. Patrick Myass

Dr. Myass sat in the control booth and peered out the glass at the people assembled in the styudio. This would be the ultimate test of his new and insidious drug: Diagra, a superpotent aphrodisiac that was effective if ingested of inhaled, a drug he had developed himself, working in his secret laboratory hidden beneath an abandoned paint factory. If it worked on these people, he would know he had done it. There would be no stopping him.

This test was taking place in an mock television studio he'd set up. The unwitting participants had been carefully selected and thought they were to be part of a live discussion on pornography and the internet. There were several ministers, the leader of the Just Say No To Everything movement, Mary Titeass, chairwoman of the Right To Ignorance group, a nun or two, and Jimmy Braggart, the TV evangelist. They all sat around a conference table waiting for the red light that would tell them they were on the air.

"In the air is more like it!" Dr. Myass thought with an evil mental chuckle, for as soon as he pressed the button the phony TV cameras would emit puffs of the drug into the air. Then he would see what he would see.

Oh, he was taping the "show" as well. It would be useful in their attempts to extort the world leaders into giving him hefty payments to keep from using the drug. If these people reacted to his Diagra, normal people certainly would. these were the un-sexiest people he could find.

"Three...Two...One... You're ON!" the phony director said as he ran to the back of the studio and put on a respirator. The Dr. hit the button and saw the faint whisps of powder blow into the air.

"Good evening," Jimmy Braggart said into the camera. "Tonight we've brought some cultural and religious leaders together to discuss a problem that concerns decent people everywhere..."

He faltered, put his hand to his head as if dizzy. Dr, Myass leaned forward excitedly, his eyes glittering.

"Er...everywhere." Braggart repeated. Now the other members of the panel looked confused and surprised as well. Several of the women started tugging at their blouses. A minister pulled on his collar as if it had suddenly become too tight. One of the nuns looked startled, as if she'd been goosed.

"Decent people everywhere..." Braggart said, trying to pick up his lines. "Er.... pornography on the internet..." he read with difficulty.

He reached down and in full view of the cameras rearranged his dick in his pants.

"Pornography on the internet." He dropped his script and stared sraight into the camera with a strange leer on his face. "Is there enough?" he asked "Or do we need more?"

At this pandemonium broke out. One of the ministers jumped on one of the nuns and they crashed to the floor. Mary Titeass flopped on her back on the table, hiked her skirt up and started masturbating. Another of the ministers fell to his knees in fron of Braggart and started fumbling at the evangelist's zipper, his mouth watering, while the leaders of the Right To Ignorance and the Just Say No groups tangled in a hot lesbian embrace.

Behind the glass of the control booth Dr. Myass rubbed his hands together in glee.

"We've got ourselves a winner here!" he chuckled. "A real winner!"
 
Supreme Commander Tinius Y. Penis

I watched the bodies writhing and squirming on the floors with satisfaction. All the money and resources I had given to this effort had finally begun to look like they would pay off.

"Have all the contents of the good Doctors lab crated and brought to the island. Make sure everything is carefully packaged for the flight and bring the discs with the formulas to me before take off." I instructed the lurking figures behind me.




"Yes General Penis" the nearest saluted and crisply responded.

"The NAME is pronounced "puh nay" I corrected for the thousandth time, NOT "peeniss" and I am the Supreme Commander!"

"Yes Supreme Commander pee, errrrr puhnay"

The small army moved swiftly, encircling the lab and ignoring the arguments of the chemists and doctors as they cleaned it out, taking every piece of equipment, every bottle, test tube and cabinet, even the garbage was carefully packed away. And in less than an hour it was loaded onto several large cargo planes and in the air, my private jet following at a higher altitude as I spoke on a secured frequency.

"General Agamathachalkucala. I have the deadly drug in my possession as promised and will release it over your enemies bordering lands once you've transferred the 300 Million U.S. dollars to my Swiss account as agreed"

Minutes later the laptops screen confirmed the transfer and I smiled at my sexy and ever so faithful assistant.

"Now release the drug directly over General Agamathachalkucala's country as planned" I ordered with a self-satisfied smile.

"Tell me why we are betraying the good General after he has paid us?" The leather dressed woman asked in her purring voice, stroking the inside of my thigh with her hand.

"Most simple of all reasons" I gloated "His enemies paid me 350 Million U.S. to do the very same to him, and once they've invaded after the drug takes effect? The good General will have NO need of money"

I laughed, lounging back in the chair as the erotic looking woman slid between my legs, purring for me to hear.

"Ooooooh penissssss, I love it when you are so evilllll"

Sighing I stroked her silky hair and corrected

"That is "puh nay", my dear "puhhh naayyy"

The third plane below us broke away, banking sharply as it found its flight path that would carry it to the small but wealthy country below. In minutes the unresistable and deadly mist spread from it's hold and wings, drifting in seemingly harmless mist to blanket the ground and water beneath us.

"Diagra has been delivered to the targets as ordered, sir" came the voice over the speaker above our heads.

"Perfect, Now send my demands to ALL the leaders of the world" I replied smugly, the plan was going perfectly!


"Leaders of the world. By now you have witnessed the power of my new drug Diagra and it's unstoppable effects. I have toppled the rulers of this small, but very rich country to prove to you my sincerity and ability to do so over and over again! There is NO country safe from my probing, NO dark valley that I cannot penetrate, NO mountains I cannot crush with my power! I will open the bidding immediately and the highest bidder within 24 hours will receive the aid of my mighty sword and the use of my drug, DIAGRA."

I watched the screen quite satisfied; my message had been powerful and ominous as I had planned, my dark skin and hair an imposing figure as well.

"Thell demmm tyerrr naaaim" came the mumbled reminder from between my thighs and I glanced down, and then remembered.

"This is Tinius Y. Penis, Supreme Commander. Over and Out!"

I finished the demands and watched the camera pan back on me, my name flashing in red directly above the woman’s unseen head.

"Tiny Penis, Supreme Commander"
 
Jane Bondage

Jane slid atop Pennywise's desk, having just arrived an hour prior at London's Heathrow Airport and made her way quickly to headquarters. The flight had been uneventful for the most part. Quiet to the point she had even been able to sneak in a quick nap. So it was a rejuvinated and revived Agent 0069 that reclined on Pennywise's oh so neat and organized workspace.

"Good evening, Mr. Pennywise." She purred softly with a wide, pearly smile as she reclined leisurely on his desk. "Tell me, darling, exactly what's going on that required your call to be so brief and urgent? You know I much prefer longer and more fulfilling sessions." A slow seductive grin stretched across full, tender lips as she glanced to Pennywise, her long-time trusted assistant.

Dark blue eyes glinted merrily as she leaned across him, granting him a overly generous view of her abundant cleavage in the process. Grasping the file she sought, she sat up and flipped through it, completely and totally unmindful of the scattered papers et such caused by her recent traispe across it.

"Diagra? Just how can an aphrodisiac be a world wide threat?" She laughed. "If you ask me, the world could definitely use a bit more loving."
 
He took in a deep breath grabbing for loose sheets of paper and assorted pens that went sprawling across his desk. A deep growl came to his throat, but he let it go, just as he always did for 69.
With a plastic smile, he pressed a button on the desk, showing the transmission that had just came not a half hour before she finally decided to arrive.
"This is our new nemesis Jane. Doctor Tinuis Penis. He showed this to ever nation leader with a pocket book over 50 million. We've already had a few scares already, and then there is this little tape..."
He clicked it again, and it showed a small village in his first country of choice. It showed the townspeople, caught up in their passion.
"I'm sure more liberated people," He stood as he said this his breath coming up short on her neck, "Such as you or me would love to just drop everything and fuck like rabbits for a few years... but there are people on this earth who have a bit of decency left."
Pennywise walked around his desk, pulling the file from her grubby hands. Unable to resist, he took a good look at the cleavage that couldn't help but bare itself to him.
"Have you ever heard the phrase that less is more, my dear?"
He turned it to a select page, that had almost every national leader scared shitless.
"This is the precise time of how long the Diagra drug remains in the human system, making him turn into this feral altered state..."
He let her see.
"My dear, even you couldn't handle a session that long."
 
Dr. Patrick Phillip Myass

This wasn't the deal, and Penis knew it. Myass was supposed to get his share: 20 million. Instead Penis and those nuts he hung around with had come and cleaned him out, taken everything and left him nothing!

My dear Penis, you're such a tool! Myass thought as he drove to his modest home. Do you think that Myass would blow it like that? Do you think Myass is cracked or something?

No, the Doctor had taken precautions against such a betrayal. After working on the drug for almost ten years he knew the synthesis by heart, so getting more was no problem. And of course he retained a small vial in his onw private freezer, a back up in case something should happen in the lab.

Furthermore, there was the little matter of the antidote. Penis had never iknown about this and Myass hadn't breathed a word. But there was an antidote, a fairly common substance available to almost anyone.

Because it was so common, Myass wasn't certain as to how best to exploit it. Once people found out what it was, Diagra's usefulness as a weapon would be over. So it was a one shot deal. Should he just sell the secret to the highest bidder? Should he offer to suipply another army with antidote?

No. For now he had extracted the active principle from its source so that it appeared to be another drug requiring elaborate synthetic procedures. He had a vial of it right here. Someone would pay big money for it no doubt.

No, right now he wasn't worried. Right now he thought it might be time to have some fun with his discovery. Why not?

He went down to his basement dungeon. Everything was set up. It was time to finally indulge his perverse fetish for bondage. But whom should he choose?

Whom indeed? A woman of course. An attractive woman. But more than that, a woman who was used to exercising authroity. A bitch goddess. Yes. That would be delightful, to capture some strong, sexy woman and turn her into his own personal love slave.

He went upstairs to the phone. A policewoman would do. Or a secret agent. but of course, secret agents were secret. He called Scotland Yard.

"How do you do? I have information concerning this Supreme Leader Penis business. I'd be willing to share it with you, but it must be done confidentially. I'll only speak to a woman. A woman alone. She should meet me at the Cock and Bull pub at eight o clock tonight, and come alone!

"Oh, and make sure she's a looker, will you. You know, with tits?"
 
Catherine O’Nine

Notepad in hand, I assiduously scribbled details of the experiment that was taking place before my eyes.
The speed and intensity of the response had been steadily increasing throughout the experiments and at last, the substance was toxic enough to have attained full strength.

I pulled out my laptop and entered the details into the official data bank whilst the objects of our observation continued fucking wildly. With a lustful sigh, I tried to concentrate on the job at hand. Working along side the Professor was distraction enough! Such an evil man, such power!
I held back a moan finding the sight of him ordering his lackeys about, more of an aphrodisiac that that of our coupling victims.
I gave myself a shake.
I could not afford such … petty .. distractions to affect my work.
It was of utmost importance that all experiments were documented, accurately in detail.
Whilst the room was a flurry of activity, I kept returning to the observation window every 15 minutes or so to note any behaviour changes, until I was finally able to note time of collapse.
At the rate they were going at it, it did not take long!
The Commander and his team worked on oblivious to the sexual antics.
Packing was their main concern.
They had seen enough to know that this time, they had triumphed!

***************************************************

An hour letter I was seated beside the professor, smiling as he made the long-awaited announcement:

"General Agamathachalkucala.
I have the deadly drug in my possession as promised and will release it over your enemies bordering lands once you've transferred the 300 Million U.S. dollars to my Swiss account as agreed"


With a nod to me, I drew up another screen on the laptop and processed the transaction.
I nodded in return as the transfer was confirmed.
Power and money!
Both so heady, so erotic!
And such a powerful ally!

I smiled at the Professor as we shared such an accomplishment.

"Now release the drug directly over General Agamathachalkucala's country as planned"

My eyes widened at the depth of his wickedness!
The man was amazing!

"Tell me why we are betraying the good General after he has paid us?"

I breathed as my hand moved to his thigh, unable to resist stroking it.
I could almost feel the authority and vice emanating from his skin!

"Most simple of all reasons.
His enemies paid me 350 Million U.S. to do the very same to him, and once they've invaded after the drug takes effect? The good General will have NO need of money"


His malevolent laugh sent a bolt of electricity down my spine.
His reclined back in his chair as, the laptop safely stowed, I slid down, running my hands along his skin and up to his rock hard member.
Squeezing it I declared, raptly.

"Ooooooh penissssss, I love it when you are so evilllll"

His touch caressed my red hair.
He stated patiently.

"That is "puh nay", my dear "puhhh naayyy"

I smirked;

” "puhhh naayyy" it may be Professor, but I prefer penis!”

With that my fingers curled about the hard shaft I had worked out of his pants and bobbed my head downwards to take him into my mouth, sucking hungrily, running my tongue along his cock as he watched the deadly mist falling, killing..
His cock grew rigid as I impaled myself on it, all but swallowing him, feeling him buried deeply into my throat as the fatal news was delivered.

"Diagra has been delivered to the targets as ordered, sir"

Rapt by the achievement, Penis merely held his …err.. penis … in position as he made his announcements.

"Perfect, Now send my demands to ALL the leaders of the world.”

He began to grow still larger as he spoke:

"Leaders of the world.
By now you have witnessed the power of my new drug Diagra and it's unstoppable effects. I have toppled the rulers of this small, but very rich country to prove to you my sincerity and ability to do so over and over again! “


Euphoric in his achievement, the Professor, grew wild as he announced:

”There is NO (thrust) country safe from my probing(thrust) ,
NO (thrust) dark valley that I cannot penetrate(thrust) ,
NO(thrust) mountains I cannot crush (thrust) with my power!


I gasped as he held himself inside my throat.
I could feel his massive erection pulsating.
I knew that as ever, he had forgotten his humble assistant,
But I was content to be used to such a man, happy to be the aid in all his deeds.

”I will open the bidding immediately and the highest bidder within 24 hours will receive the aid of my mighty sword and the use of my drug, DIAGRA."

I had to remind him. Detail was important.
His penetration had eased just enough for me to prompt in muffled tones:

"Thell demmm tyerrr naaaim"

Not only could I suck and fuck, but I was a damn good assistant in other less exotic ways!

"This is Tinius Y. Penis, Supreme Commander. Over and Out!"

The triumphant declaration was followed by the professor’s exclamation,

"Tiny Penis indeed!”

With that he took hold of my head and pushed his hips urgently against me.

”But I am in Supreme Command, of the world, and not least of you my dear,"

He declared, screwing his cock into me once more, and without any further preamble, shot his evil seed into my mouth and directly down my throat.
Taken by surprise at the abrupt force of his eruption, I gasped, gagged and swallowed.

God I adored that man!
What style!
 
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Dr Myass, OOC

Semi OOC:

I must correct a misconception about Diagra. The drug is not lethal unless taken in a does approximately one hundred times the therapeutic dose.

While it is possible for heavily dosed subjects to liera;;y "screw themselves to death", the cause of death in this case is exhaustion/dehydration and not due to any inherent pharmaceutical toxicity.

Remember, with this as with all pharmaceuticals, consult your physician before use if you're a nursing mother. Use only as directed. Do not drive or use heavy machinery. May cause drowsiness.

Carry on.
 
Tiny Penis

Later that same day as we reclined in the luxurious surroundings on our remote and impossible to find island...

"Kat? How much of the Diagra do we have left and do you have it analyzed yet?" I asked rolling over and toying with her marvelously formed and well shaved body.

"After we unloaded the majority of it over Bangmykok? Enough to drug two people and a small chimpanzee, oh great one"

It was as planned, but still a flaw. We needed more of the euphoric drug as we had nearly exhausted it in our demonstration to the world and had little time before the deadline we had set approached.

"Is the facility set up to mass produce? And how about our tries to synthesize the remaining drug?

"Mmmmm, We've made several interesting alternative drugs from it" Kat moaned as I slid my digit into the warm, moist interior and began to toy with her button. "The least of which gives a man the super human ability and stamina to fornicate for 48 hours continuous, but none of the Diagra. It seems the good Doctor has spliced the DNA in it so many times it is nearly impossible to break"

"Impossible?"

Nearly, ummmmmmm Kat moaned as I slid two fingers in deeper to her extremely moist and hot interior and pulled them out tasting the exquisite flavor. "It will take time but we can do it. Perhaps to expedite our plans we should double our original offer to MyAss if he will join us in world domination?"

Grinning I slid my fingers still dripping of her erotic blend into her own mouth and nodded.

"Send him our offer immediately and continue reproducing the male potency drug" I instructed sliding my fingers out of her mouth and watching her lick her lips clean. "And bring us more of that mocha cappuccino...We seem to have finished this cup but found the button you lost off your shirt earlier"

The offers kept pouring in, the largest going over 100 BILLION dollars and a request to let the bidder be in the country he chose when we dropped the drug over it.

"Kat? What do we have on our itinerary this afternoon?" I asked stretching out on the silk covered bed sheets.



"Nothing your greatness"

The life of an evil villain was SO difficult at times...

"Then lets say we board our private, super hidden and ultra fast, not to mention really cool and sleek looking jet and fly to Paris? I'd like to spend some of our millions and buy you a few new toys? And perhaps you could use your excellent fashion sense and help me get decked out as the newest and baddest super villain should appear?"

I pulled her sleek body to mine and let my tongue roam for the real thing, listening to her moan...
 
Catherine Nine

I lay draped across the black silk covers, my eyes half closed, like the somnolent lids of a satisfied Kat. The leather halter-top and the accompanying leather skirt lay discarded somewhere about the floor. The Professor lay reclining in on top of the bed, a bank of pillows stacked behind his head. His concentration was focused on a sheath of papers, which he held in his left hand. His other hand played carelessly, running through my wild red tresses as they lay spread out on his shiny covers.

"Kat? How much of the Diagra do we have left and do you have it analyzed yet?"

I tried to give the matter some thought and realised that we had very little stock left.
I opened my mouth to respond and felt the weight of the Professor’s body as he pressed against me and started running his fingers along my skin.
But I knew work came first. It always had to cum before me!

"After we unloaded the majority of it over Bangmykok? “

I queried, calculating as his hand smoothed over my naked breasts and down to my abdomen.

”Enough to drug two people and a small chimpanzee, oh great one"

The Professor seemed to consider. His hand stroked thoughtfully as I lay immobile as ever open to his touches. The only covering on my body now were a pair of sheer black hold up stockings and a pair of gloves of similar material.
Lace, leather, nylon, silk, the Professor enjoyed every fetish going!
And of course as his faithful assistant it was part of my job description to see that even his most … intimate … needs were met!

"Is the facility set up to mass produce?
And how about our tries to synthesize the remaining drug?”


His voice enquired as he moved both his hands to play with and then tweak a nipple between forefinger and thumb.

"Mmmmm, “

I moaned softly then proceeded to answer:

”We've made several interesting alternative drugs from it,"

One hand continued to torture my breasts and one moved downwards until I felt the good Professor push his finger into me.

"The least of which gives a man the super human ability and stamina to fornicate … “

His finger pushed against my clit and made me shudder and cream… I tried to steady myself and continue;

” … for 48 hours continuous, but none of the Diagra.”

Still his finger busied itself in me and I dropped my legs open further offering him my stockinged thighs as his finger worked my bud. My voice only shook slightly as I continued.

”It seems the good Doctor has spliced the DNA in it so many times it is nearly impossible to break"

At those words Professor Penis closed his fingers about my flesh, pinching both clit and nipple simultaneously. My body jerked!

"Impossible?"

Oh god … I struggled desperately to give the information coherently.

”Nearly,”

Two fingers were now pushed deeply into my cunt as the Professor worked them roughly between my legs.

”Uummmmmmm..”

The fingers were withdrawn. I looked up breathlessly and watched as the Professor sucked those fingers into his mouth.

"It will take time but we can do it.”

I was back on track again now.

”Perhaps to expedite our plans we should double our original offer to MyAss if he will join us in world domination?"

The Professor grinned and putting those same fingers on my lips slid them into my mouth as he nodded agreeing with my suggestion.
I sucked greedily as I felt him moving rocking his digits in and out slowly fucking my hot mouth as I sucked those tasty fingers.

"Send him our offer immediately and continue reproducing the male potency drug"

He withdrew his fingers abruptly. I licked my lips in an effort to catch every drop of my juices.

"And bring us more of that mocha cappuccino...We seem to have finished this cup but found the button you lost off your shirt earlier"

I smiled remembering how he had wrenched the shirt from me early that morning.

”Yes, oh great one!”

I purred as I allowed my semi-naked body to slide off his luxurious covers.
On my way to get the coffee, I picked up the faxes and other bids that were pouring in from all over the world. I smiled knowing that the Professor would be very pleased indeed.
I sashayed back to the bed, the papers and the coffee in hand.
I watched as the professor eyed my naked body and ran a hand over the stockings as I put the drink down on the bedside cabinet.

”Your coffee, Professor and …. These will be of great interest oh evil one!”

My eyes sparkled as I watched him read the offers.
Such a high price! So many options!
I stood and watched the glee on his face.
He looked up triumphantly.
I was ready to take his orders, wondering what decision or message he would give to the world next.

"Kat? What do we have on our itinerary this afternoon?"

I looked down in confusion.
I had expected him to spring into action, but he merely stretched out across the sheets, languishing in his power no doubt, mmmmm…

"Nothing your greatness"

I informed him.

He looked up at me and took my hand pulling me down with him onto the bed.

"Then lets say we board our private, super hidden and ultra fast, not to mention really cool and sleek looking jet and fly to Paris?
I'd like to spend some of our millions and buy you a few new toys?
And perhaps you could use your excellent fashion sense and help me get decked out as the newest and baddest super villain should appear?"


My face lit with pleasure.
My agreement, as is should be, was taken as read.
What girl could refuse such an offer?
But before I could comment Professor Penis had pulled me down on the bed,
Moved his head to my body and set about devouring it, lapping at it with his tongue.
I moaned and quaked as he pinned me down and ran his tongue all over me.
Success and wickedness always affected him like this!
God sin was wonderful!
Finally his head moved down and pulling my legs wide, his mouth covered my sex.

”We’re gonna rule the world!”

He exclaimed into my pussy.

”It’ll all be mine!”

He added then dived between my legs to eat out and tongue fuck my aching pussy.
As I squirmed and screamed, I didn’t know if the good Professor wanted to possess the world or my creaming cunt!?
 
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'Q'

Meanwhile, in a dark and dingy laboratory deep underground, a small podgy man sits at his work bench fiddling with his Bunsen burner. 'Q', the Head of Q-Branch (Research and Development), had just been on the phone with 'F' (originally called 'M' before the sex-change), the Head of the Secret Servicing and his superior.

Damn! He curses as he wipes his sweaty brow.

He had just spent the last 48 hours perfecting (and testing) the nuclear powered dildo which also acts as a mini-missile, ideal for assassinations and he had planned to have the weekend off so he can watch his new video - Debbie does Dallas again with the Help of Laddie, Son of Lassie.

This is until this new emergency crops up and spoils everything. Suddenly, he is expected to knock up something that will help Agent Bondage in her fight against this new danger that is threatening the world. It is times like these that he wishes that he never gets so personally involved in the Branch's projects.

"Would you like a drink, sir?" Q's attention is diverted by the young slim (and very buxom) Miss Plenty (codenamed 'P'), one of his numerous female lab assistances. He rubs a hand through his thinning hair as he lustifully looks at her, ignoring her look of disgust.

"Erm, yes." He says in a high-pitch squeak. "My usual."

He watches her, admiring her form as she wiggles her way out of the room.

What I would give... He sighs wistfully. The last he had heard was that she was bonking 004.

Bringing his mind back to the job at hand, his brillant (though slightly twisted?) mind starts to work at the task at hand. He is already in the middle of producing a flowchart on his computer terminal when Miss P returns with his coffee.

"Oh, Miss P." He says as she turns to leave, his gaze fixed on the screen. "I am afraid that I will need you stay late tonight."

"Again, sir?" She sighs. "My shift is almost over and you kept me up all of last night testing the new field weapon." She is referring to the dildo.

"I'm sorry, Miss P. We need to conduct more tests with Weapon X42 (the dildo) before it can go out on the field." He can hear her sigh again.

"Yes, sir." And Q pauses in his work as he sits back to watch his young assistant take of her white lab coat.

Well, he has to make sure she carries out the tests properly...
 
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Pussy Galore

OOC: a new character brifely joins the cast. Miss Pussy Galore, formerly Jane Anne Fisher, once the bad girl of Shaker Heights High School in Cleveland, Ohio. Her life was transformed when she met a young French film maker who offered to make her a star and take her away from the drab life she was destined to have in Ohio. What she didn't know was that his productions were low budget, high skin content and illegal in her home town. By the time she knew, it didn't matter. She was free, and when the money started rolling in, she never again looked back. Now, she is a successful business woman and friend to all the right people, including evil, would-be dictators and their sexy, but submissive assistants.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IC:
“Pussys” read the small gilt-edge sign above the door to 69 rue de Vagin. The display in the window showed an assortment of lingerie and discretely wrapped adult toys. It was not until one entered the pink and white draped saloon that the scope of goods available became evident. Pussys was in fact one of the largest purveyors of sex toys in Paris. A veritable Toys-r-Us for grown ups, and it’s owner, Pussy Galore was personally acquainted with each item sold within her shop. She hand selected each dildo, vibe or nipple clamp herself, and put every item through a rigorous quality test. When she opened the shop years ago it had been on the advise of her accountant who had declared that the only way to write off her sexual adventures was go into the trade and write off her toys as expenses. So, Pussys was born. Now, it was not only a source of constant sexual fulfillment for the owner, but was also one of the most successful retail establishments in Paris.

The call from one of her oldest clients was a pleasant surpirse on this rather dreary afternoon, and she was quick to assure the caller that she would do everything possible to make his visit a success.

Naturellement, it will be as you desire oh Evil One….I will be honored to serve you once again! Oui…something special, yes, it can be done. I will close the shop for you, certainement you are my most important client, you have only to ask and it is yours.

Pussy hung up the phone and rubbed her finely manicured hands together in anticipation of the sale she was about to make to Professor Penis. She knew that money would not be an object to him, and that she would not only add to her considerable bank account after his visit, but would also enjoy the afternoon with the wicked man and his nubile assistant.

Attention! Attention! You are all dismissed for the afternoon, a very special client is arriving and absolute discretion must be observed. I shall serve them myself. Off with you all!

She returned to the privacy of her office to prepare for the arrival of the evil genius Doctor E. Penis and his entourage. She sighed, he always had an entourage, but he spent money, so who what she to complain. Pussy opened the wardrobe that held her collection of special work clothing and selected a short leather skirt to pair with a ruby red corset that showed off ample cleavage. She recalled that the good Doctor was a sucker for breasts. She laughed at her own joke as she completed her preparations. The woman that looked back from her was stunning. Tall, blonde and curvaceous; her breasts a heart stopping 36D, and her legs, now covered in the finest of fishnet stockings would make a dancer green with envy.

Not too bad for a poor little waif from Cleveland, Ohio, is it Janey? Well, you’ve got them all by the balls now. It’s a pitty that no one from the old home town will ever know what a success you’ve become.

She sits down at the dressing table to freshen her make-up and await the arrival of her special guests.
 
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The evening sun glinted off the tip of the wing as we banked and settled into our approach and I smiled a satisfied smile then promised my gorgeous pilot.


"I will take you to ALL of the most famous and best Shoppe’s along Paris tomorrow, but tonight I have saved the best surprise of all for you"

And despite the best methods Kat employed as we snuggled and sipped champagne in the finest limousine offered I didn't give away the surprise. In fact I increased the element by insisting in the last few blocks to put on a black silk blindfold, chuckling as she responded with a loud "purrrrrrrrrrrr", the sound rolling erotically off her lips and tongue.

"It will be my turn to give you shivers, my faithful and oh so erotic assistant" I promised as the limo coasted to a smooth stop and the door opened for us. "I will let you taste of the finest of everything, wine, food and this"

We had glided from door to door, the beaming smile of Pussy Galore greeting us silently as she held the ornately painted and gilded door open, her tongue greeting my ear as she nibbled at the lobe and mouthed a silent promise.

I pulled the blind slowly from her eyes, teasing and tantalizing to the end, cooing in joy and amusement as she looked in awe and amazement at the virtual plethora of pain and pleasure before us.

"Welcome to the finest Shoppe Paris has to offer, the greatest and grandest is but yours for the asking" Miss Pussy Galore purred as well and I knew it would be a night fitting for the man and feline beasts!
 
Katherine Nine

I took the shaft firmly between my hands and guided it carefully.
The warm vibrations ran through my fingers, quivering throughout the nerves of my arms up to my shoulders. I could feel my breasts quivering lightly.
I wound my legs together experimentally, clasping my thighs to feel the throbbing taking hold of my body, making the folds of my pussy quiver responsively as I ran my hands possessively over that staff and positioned it carefully.

”Now … Professor… you see it .. ?”

Professor Penis leaned forward, his breath hot on my neck as he purred.

”Yes, Kat. Paris … our playground. We will have such fun, my dear.”

I shivered as his tongue flicked at my ear lobe and then lapped down my neck towards the black leather flying suit I wore.

”Going down in three minutes, Professor,”

I announced as I turned the shaft causing the plane to bank and turn.

” … or sooner than that, Kat,”

The Professor commented with quiet authority.

”Bring it round again, Kat,”

He commanded smoothly, spreading my legs apart as he did so.

”Hold steady and get into position for the next entrance.”

So saying, Professor Penis ripped at the leather covering at my crotch, pulling away the material to reveal a window allowing access to my quivering puss.
My hands tightened on that shaft between my legs in a vain attempt to hold the plane steady as the good Professor pushed his head between my thighs and began shoving his tongue in and out of my moist channel.

My body bucked and shuddered, my hands working as if wanking the shaft that was essential for steering us safely into land.

”Ohhh.. Professor… “

I moaned hoarsely.

”I’m going to lose the vertical hold if .. “

The evil chuckle blew soft hot breath between my thighs.

”Nonsense Kat, you can take it, come on baby, bring us in … “

Having no choice but to obey orders, my hands worked busily levelling the plane and setting down the wheels, securing my position for the approach.

”Ready to bring her in, Professor… “

I gasped as he stuffed three fingers into me in one deft move.

”Mmm… I love cumming into land, Kat…”

Was his muffled comment as we descended smoothly.
All the time, Professor Penis fucked his fingers into me.
My moans filled the cockpit.

”We’re there now, let go … “

He purred as the plane hit the ground, the hard bounce accompanied by the sensation of his fingers propelled roughly inside me made me scream and cumm hard, clamping down on his hand and tongue, even as I reached for the breaks and brought the plane to a halt.

By the time my breath was under control again, the Professor had removed his fingers casually lapped up any stray juices and readjusted my suit.
I sat and methodically switched off the controls making the plane secure.
Professor Penis sat lazily back and sucked at his fingers, a satisfied smile on his face.

"Kat?”

I turned and smiled, cheeks still flushed from the effort of concentrating and the thrill of release.

”I will take you to ALL of the most famous and best Shoppe’s along Paris tomorrow, but tonight I have saved the best surprise of all for you"

My eyes widened, unable to believe how much I was favoured.

”Ohhh your Greatness … what a surprise! … Surely you can give me a clue..”

But he was unyielding.

”Come, our limousine awaits,”

He commented, slipping from the cockpit.
Following wide eyed, I wondered yet again at what excesses of pleasure the good Professor had planned for our first evening in Paris.

In the limousine, we sipped champagne as we sped through the Parisian streets.
He was relaxed and favoured me with an indolent smile.
This could be my chance!
I put down my empty glass and moved close to him.
Wrapping my arms about his neck, I brushed against him whispering.

”Please… Evil One … about this .. surprise… can you not hint… would you … “

His voice was suddenly stern.

”Enough! You would not wish to try my patience?”

I drew away and lowered my eyes, humbled.

”Noo.. Great One … “

I whispered, subdued, thinking he was angered.

”You would not wish me to spank you, would you Kat..?”

His voice had taken a sensuous tone. I looked up and gasped …

”Ohhhh… “

Biting my lip provocatively, I considered the delicious sensations that a spanking at his hands would cause..
But the Professor continued in his calm reasonable voice.

”You would not wish me to tease you, to submit you to the most delicious of tortures. To make you scream in surrender … now would you Kat?”

His evils smirk widened as he saw my flushed cheeks and heard the small moan of anticipation of such … “punishments”.

”Well… Kat …?”

I gasped as his eyes locked in mine.
A flash of understanding passing between us.
I answered demurely, my voice the softest purr.

”I would want you to … treat me as you saw fit … as you thought I deserved, oh Evil One.. “

His eyes sparkled.

”You would tempt me …”

He commented softly.
Even before I could nod, he tore at the Velcro fastenings at the breast pockets on each side of my suit.
I gasped as my flesh was exposed.
The gaping holes strategically placed to allow access to my breasts.
The garment doubled usefully as flying and playing suit.

His eyes held mine. I knew what to do.
Carefully I straddled his lap, sitting high on his knee, offering my breasts up to be fondled, mauled, licked and bitten.

”Mmmmm … Kat … “

He murmured, then added humorously.


”You please me, but I still will not tell you …”

Knowing a challenge when I saw it, I slid off his lap and to my knees on the plush flooring of the limousine and deftly released his cock from its confines.
An eye on his, I moved my head to flick a tongue over it and suck it into my mouth, feeling it twitch and harden.
Looking up, wondering if he would tell, I gave him head; continuing to service him until his member was hot and throbbing.
I stopped then and released his shaft, which was now erect and standing proud.

”Tell me..?”

I entreated as he shook his head.

”Please, Professor… a clue… a hint… “

Still he shook his head.
Watching him carefully, I feigned a pout and made to stand up and leave him hard and wanting.

”Oh no you don’t Kat! You know better than that!”

Playfully I eyed his cock and turned my head away, as if refusing, the smirk on my mouth matching the glint in his eye.

”If you won’t finish me willingly, I’ll use your body to finish myself … “

He declared as he grabbed by breasts and yanked them to fasten about his cock.
I gasped and then moaned loudly in the darkness of the limousine, whilst the Professor fucked my tits, rubbing himself along the valley whilst he pulled and tortured my ripe mounds.

”This will teach you, my dear. You will satisfy me at all times… “

The first spurts of cumm were targeted at my sensitive globes and rubbed in.
As I opened my mouth in protest, his cock was inside and wads of cumm were being shot down my throat.
My face was dragged up to his groin as he spasmed and pumped into my mouth.
Finally pulling my mouth off his cock with an audible plop, Professor Penis, commented lazily.

”And now… about your surprise … “

My eyes raised expectantly to his, but even as the look was exchanged I saw him lift a black silk blindfold and fasten it about my eyes.

"purrrrrrrrrrrr"

My ecstatic sound rang out in the heavy darkness.

I felt him once again, close the flying/playsuit, securing my cumm rubbed tits beneath the leather confines. His arm moved about my waist as he drew me onto the seat once more. I moaned softly as his voice caressed my ear.

"It will be my turn to give you shivers, my faithful and oh so erotic assistant"

I stayed obediently immobile, so aware of each sensation and sound as the limousine made its short journey towards its intended destination.
Even when we stopped I did not move without explicit instruction and allowed myself to be guided out of the car and through a number of doors.


"I will let you taste of the finest of everything, wine, food and this"

At those soft, promising words, the blindfold was slowly drawn away from my eyes, it’s fine fabric caressing my skin until I finally saw the sight before me.
I gasped audibly, my eyes trying to take it all in.

"Welcome to the finest Shoppe Paris has to offer, the greatest and grandest is but yours for the asking"

The woman, obviously the proprietor announced as I felt myself literally ache with anticipation of the “toys” I saw before me!
 
Pussy Galore

Pussy quivered at the entrance of her guests. Penis’ firm stroke as he greeted her brought to mind previous climactic encounters with the evil would-be dictator. Here is a man who knows how to play, thought Pussy. And his toys, only the best! The woman with him was stunning, and knowing Penis, completely submissive to his will. The only question was, how submissive was she in general? Pussy moved toward the beauty, put one arm around her at the waist and pulled her body close.

My name is Pussy Galore. Welcome to my shop. I’m so glad you’ve cum to play with me.

The other hand grasped Kat firmly behind the neck. Pussy drew her forward for a mind-searing kiss, then stepped back and smiled at Penis.

We’re going to have a lovely time.
 
Catherine Nine

My eyes roamed slowly over the array of choice items on show.
Quality items, definitely, but such variety.
I was overawed.
This made my toybox look paltry in comparison!

I had hardly noticed the woman who now drew close to me.
I looked up in surprise as the arm wound round my waist and pulled me closely up to her voluptous body. A vision in red leather, I could feel her heat emanating out to me as she purred:

"My name is Pussy Galore. Welcome to my shop.
I’m so glad you’ve cum to play with me. "


I smiled, the intimate introduction had surpised me, but the warmth of the welcome was unmistakeable.

I had barely formulated thought dubbing our hostess as "friendly", when I felt a hand snaking behind my head and felt myself being drawn helplessly forward to receive the woman's kiss.

The heat that shot through my body as our hostess plundered my mouth took me totally by surprise.
I found myself giving a startled moan as Pussy withdrew her tongue, only to suckle passionately at my lips, then nip teasingly at my delicate flesh before drawing back and releasing me once more.
I stood quivering uncertainly, hearing the words that were directed at the Professor.

"We’re going to have a lovely time."

She commented smoothly.

My eyes flew to his face.

What exactly was the "surprise" he had planned?
And just what was the role of this sexy creature in realising the Professor's plans?

I eyed the Professor curiously, wondering just how "playful" the evening would get?
 
Supreme Commander Tinius Y. Penis

Amused at my faithful assistants wide eyed reaction I smiled, wrapping an arm around each delectable woman.

"It is sooooo good to get away from the worries of the world and enjoy ourselves isn't it Kat?" I chuckled, kissing her neck and then moving to do the same with our hostess. "Tonight is to releive the stress of our minds and bodies, Ladies, and I'm looking forward to getting to know both of yours intimately"

Laughing we moved into the plush room and I squeezed both well formed rear ends before I released them and moved to the tall vase that doubled as an exquisite champagne cooler.

"To the future of our mutual pleasures" I toasted both, laughing as I watched the cork pirouette across the room and poured the champagne. "And to our Hostesses grandest toy, long may it bring Kat pleasure"

I grinned again widely catching Pussy's eye and knowing Kat had missed none of it, then handed each a glass of bubbly.

"This is almost heaven I think, though the devil would hardly be found consorting with two such lovely angels"

It was good to see such fine and erotic women blush and laugh and I was looking forward to the night and seeing first hand much, much more of them blush!
 
Pussy Galore

Pussy sipped her champagne and let her gaze caress Kat. She noted that the womans clothing was in disarray; several of the access flaps were just barely closed.

Thats a lovely outfit you're almost wearing darling, but you must want to freshen up a bit from your travels. Why don't we find you something new? I have a wonderful selection of shoes, and stockings! Oh god, the thought of you in black stockings just makes me wet. Go see what you can find, then I'll help you change.

Penis nodded and smiled at the plan. Of course he knew that this was only the beginning of the entertainment and he was prepared to pace himself. Besides, he knew that with Pussy and her toys, Kat would get all the attention she craved, and then he have her too.

She watched Penis and grinned when she saw his hand stray to his hardening cock. Pussy moved to his side and laid her hand over his, then let it lay directly on his shaft when he removed his hand. Pussy stroked him as she watched Kat move from one clothing rack to another.

You know, mon chere’ it almost seems a shame to charge you for the things you buy. After all you bring me such delightful test subjects for my toys. But of course, I will charge you. I am after all a business woman.

Pussy leaned close to Penis, her breasts were crushed against his chest and her mouth was nearly touching his when a devilish smile crossed her face.

Tell me, just how far may I go with your assistant? May I play with her before she tests the new toy?
 
Tinius

The final whispered question brought memories to my head of the many hours Kat and I had "practiced" together and how she never failed to amaze me. We had never reached each others personal limits and had left each other pleasantly exhausted on many an occasion...

"Careful ma petite" I cooed with adoration into her ear, then tickled her neck with a gentle lick of my talented tongue. "It is not always the experienced one that is the teacher"

I couldn't help but smile, this "keeper of toys" was a woman that fascinated me and in another time and place???

I sighed then wrapped my arms around her trim waist, pulling her to me and enjoying the feel of her firm breasts as I drew her near.

"You know I adore you, my sweet Pussy" I breathed huskily, rubbing my growing length against her warm groin. "And have a feeling Kat will soon feel as I do"

A warm kiss to her sweet lips and I drank in the heady mix of her perfume and own erotic fragrance.

"Have your evil way with her my love, then you will both answer to me" I gave her my blessing and promise in one, then kissed her again before releasing my hold on her waist.

"Your guest of honor awaits"
 
Catherine Nine

Raising my eyes from the champagne glass, I caught the look my hostess had turned upon me and realised that with her trained eye, she had guessed at the “specialisms” of my outfit.

”Thats a lovely outfit you're almost wearing darling, but you must want to freshen up a bit from your travels. Why don't we find you something new?
I have a wonderful selection of shoes, and stockings!
Oh god, the thought of you in black stockings just makes me wet.
Go see what you can find, then I'll help you change. “


Pussy was a remarkable woman. She oozed sexuality.
The idea of arousing her was novel and exciting.
Was this the treat the good professor had planned?
I glanced over at the Professor and saw him nod agreement.
Sooo.. my evil master wanted to watch us … play …?
I smiled a spark of mischief in my eyes.

”I happen to love black stockings…”

I purred and crossed over to the racks.
So many outfits, such a variety of styles … mmmm…
I was lost and spoiled for choice!
… red… and black… I looked at the outfit before me
a basque pulled in at the waist and designed to push up the breasts…
mmmmm… it was all so deliciously decadent and indulgent!
This shop was indeed heaven!
 
Dr Patrick Myass

Once again he looked at his watch, then picked up the calender and shook it. It seemed to be working. Come to think of it, he'd never seen a calendear that didn't work, so that couldn't be the problem. According to his calculations, he'd been sitting in this pub for almost a month waiting for Jane Bondage to appear. He looked at his pint and found that most of it had evaporated, and what was left had given rise to some strange fungal growth, no doubt with antibiotic properties, but of no interest to him now. He felt sure now that his hunch was dead on: Jane Bondage wasn't coming. He'd been stood up.

His anger rankled. Rankled hard, It was still rankling when he peeled his behind off the stool and limped out of the pub, beating the dust from his hair and coat. "I'll show them they can't rankle Myass!" he thought to himself. "Myass is out for revenge!"

But where? Whom? Howm?

It was that Penis, he was sure of it. It was time to hit Penis, and hit him hard. It would be Penis and Myass in a struggle to the death, and he knew that Myass would get Penis in the end.

With the same almost preternatural foresight that had informed him that Jane Bondage was not coming to the pub, he put himself in Penis' place. Where would he be? Addis Ababba? Togo? The McDonald's outside the walls of the old Krelin in Moscow?

No: Paris! Paris: Penis, it made perfect sense! Only a fool wouldn't see that!

Hobbling home, Myass armed himself well. Took a good long soak and then armed himself well. Slipped into his fancy pumps and got his monocle, and then slid down the fire-pole to the secret Myass cave where the cold-fusion heli-plane stood. Pouring half a cup--no more!--of Perrier into the styrofoam cup reactor, he stood back as the air glowed blue with the mighty neutron flux. The engine powered up, Myass jumped into the cockpit and took off, leveling the building and blowing the wash off the lines for two square blocks.

In a trice he was flying over the City of Lights, looking down on that tower, whatever it was called--he couldn't remember--looking for his nemesis. His intuition was keen, and soon he was circling low over a neighborhood of exclusive shops, eyes peeled. If he didn't miss his guess, he would find Penis in some sort of exclusive sex toy shop, accompanied by two women. And there was just the place he was looking for.

Leaving the heli-plane on the roof, he made his way across sthe darkened rooftops until he was looking down through a skulight at the Big Man himself. And there was his assistant Kat, and a woman he recognized as the notorious Pussy Galore: sexual impressariette.

There was no time to lose. Pulling out his pistol, he stepped back and launched himself at the skylight. It didn't break. He tried it again. Still nothing.

Now the figures below were looking up with some curiosity, watching Patrick Myass leaping up and down on the skylight, gnashing his teeth and gesturing.

Clearly something was up.
 
Pussy Galore

Pussy returned the Professors kiss with a passion she reserved for only a few special men. The response of his body to her own was evident when he pressed against her, and she was sure that he knew how she had moistened at the touch of his mouth against her skin. The man was devilishly skilled, and Pussy could hardly wait to renew their most intimate relationship.

You know I will give her my very best, Tinius, just as I do you.

She gave him another quick peck and let her hand briefly caress the length of hardening manhood that snaked down his trousers. Pussy shivered in anticipation when she thought of his size. He was so wonderfully large.

The Professor gave Pussy a slap on her delightfully curved ass and watched the hypnotic sway of her hips as she crossed the room to Kat.

Oh, yes, the basque would be stunning on you! I have some wonderful pumps, very high heels that will make your legs even more beautiful...and stockings...the sheerest, most beautiful black stockings. Mon dieu! You will look good enough to eat.

Pussy was in full arousal mode now and her goals were clear. First she would get Kat out of her clothes, and explore the possibilities of the changing room. Each room in the shop was specially equipped with not only space to change ones clothing, but with a comfortable padded bench & a small assortment of toys. The room that Kat would use was already stocked with Pussys favorite toys for good little girls. The room was also wired for sound and video recording and the signals sent directly to Pussys private office where she knew the Professor, who had experienced this trick before, would be watching the entire performance.

She grinned wickedly and thought of the Professor relaxing in her desk chair while she enjoyed his pretty assistant. He would be pleased by the show, and Pussy knew from past experience, very ready to take on both women before the evening was through.

Professor, we will adjourn to the fitting room now. If you would care to wait in my private office, you will find a very special video entertainment there.

Suddenly, there was a sound from above. A dark figure was repeatedly fliging himself upon the skylight above the shop. Who was this insane fool? Couldn't he read the warning label on the glass?

"Do Not stand on surface!"

Pussy was about to yell out a warning when then unthinkable happened! The glass shattered and through the gaping hole fell a man. Luckily, he fell onto the display of "Luv Cushions," which prevented serious injury. His head must have struck the floor, though, as he landed. The Professor, Pussy & Kat found him unconcious when they gathered around his body where it lay quiet & protected upon mounds of velvet pillows in the shapes of breasts, cocks and vaginas.
 
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Tiny Penis

"Welcome to our humble gather, Dr. MyAss, So nice of you to drop in."

I couldn't help but grin and knew the information supplied to me by my world wide web was accurate. (Also known as National Enquirer)

"I see you come seeking comfort as you must miss the internationally known agent 0069 as much as we do?"

Puzzled and pained eyes turneds towards me and then towards the women who were about to begin their first passionate liason.

"What have you done with her you filthy Tiny Penis?" Dr. Pat MyAss growled despite his weakened condition.

"Nothing!" I exclaimed and holding my hands open as if to show him "And I assure you as well I am an evil but not filthy Penis, ask the ladies!"

Dr. Pat MyAss looked towards the two ladies nodding energetically and we both took a moment to admire the sight of the results of the vigorous movements upon their well endowed bodies.

I sighed, then turned back to the matter at hand.

"Come my good Doctor. Let us have a drink together and relax together while the women give us a show we will remember the rest of our days...and nights. We can discuss my offer made to you to join us and if there are any who dare oppose the combined forces of Pussy, Ass, Penis and Cat o' Nine"
 
Dr Pat Myass

As his eyes regained their focus the first thing he saw was a smiling Penis offering his hand. He looked about him and saw the boob- and penis-shaped pillows scattered about.

"Am I dead?" he asked. "Is this heaven?"

Penis helped him to his feet and Myass straightened his glasses. Pering through them he saw Kat and Pussy standing coquettishly, looking at him and sizing him up. Literally, he felt.

"No," he said. "Too good for heaven."

And before he knew it Penis had slapped a drink in his hand and led him to a chair. To his mind, still addled from his plummet, he seemed to recall he had some grudge with the man, but he couldn't for the life of him remember what it was.

As he sat there the last piece of glass fell from the shattered skylight and crashed to the floor.

"That was close." Penis said. "If it had fallen a minute sooner it would have hit Myass for sure!"
 
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