Liar

[YOMBOTOLOMPI]

It all began when I lied
about why I’d come home late.
I didn’t want to hear you bitch.
I made you out to be the big bad witch
I said I was at work because you want us to be rich,
but dinner was served at six, not at eight.

My stories worked too well
I used them to get by.
You really couldn’t tell
that all I did was lie.
It was making your life a living hell.

I’d come home late and drunk.
You’d be sound asleep in bed
You never guessed how low I’d sunk.
or knew about the secret life I led.

I thought our love would never die.
If I had only thought of you.
If I had chosen not to lie
you’d have a good husband and a good friend to.
Instead I made you cry.

You accepted my answers as the truth.
You didn’t want to pry
I had found a way to get away
with anything I wanted
and now our lives are haunted
by the lies that got me by.

What happened to the man you married?
Why did he go and hide?
In the beginning his love never varied.
Lying to you he would never abide.

I lied to my bride
and watched in silence
as the years went by.
We didn’t stand a chance.
it became a marriage without romance.
For a liar isn’t manly.
His faults may be hidden
but his works tell the tale.
He talks about great things
but he only seems to fail.

I traded my soul
to get back on the make
but I squandered my integrity,
a big mistake.
I was an easy target
for the devil to take.
Now I’m hardly recognizable
for I’ve become a snake.

If I’d just do the right thing
when a lie would save a hassle
and tell the truth despite the pain
that simple honesty would bring,
ruthless tactics wouldn’t rule my brain,
I wouldn’t hang my head in shame,
I wouldn’t be such an asshole.

And so I tell my story
to save a few the pain
of living a life based on falsehoods,
there isn’t anything to gain
by cheating,
by putting off the truth,
just to save a beating
for you know the truth will find you
and your troubles start repeating.

Take my word
things come out better
if, when the choice occurs,
you’re truthful to the letter.
Lying about it is sure to upset her.
Don’t make her mad
and you’ll be happy that you met her.​

Yombotolompi
_________________________________________

Hello fellow word provocateurs,

I am so pleased to find - having spent some time threading here - that there are so many like myself. So many others with talent, sensitivity and a healthy SEXual appetite.

Cheers and hello from myself in Southern California by way of NH and historic Charleston, SC.

Please comment if you will. I've been in a literate wasteland for 13 years now and am now interested in upgrading my dumbed-down doggerel to more facited levels.

Hope you enjoyed this one.

I wrote this limmerick as a therapeutic purging of the guilt and unexamined affects of my now pathological habit of lying in order to do as I please without (so I thought) consequences. It actually helped me to acknowledge just how much it's affected my wife's quality of life and peace of mind. Would that such honesty were all that was necessary to correct the problem, but there appears to be alot of hard work ahead for me in regards to my forked tongue.

Thank you for your eyes and your thoughts.

Until next we text,​

 

[butters]

this touches on a subject many will recognise, having either been the liar or been on the receiving end of another's mistruths. it has that sense of truth running through it. as a poem, i think you have all the thoughts down you want to use, but could now take them as your basis and discard some of the excess words to make a better poem. tighten it, neaten it. it'd make it stronger and it's a sad fact that more people will read a shorter poem than a long one. of course, poems should never be shortened purely for that reason alone.

your title is hard, uncompromising, and necessary. works for me.

your use of a light style to carry a dark message is something that can work well - if you're going for limmerick, then you need more consistency there. perhaps stick to the simplistic rhyme-scheme of rhyming couplets or abab if you want to hug-a-style and use 4/6-line verses... if not, see where the poem's voice takes you.

for example, this verse? that last line feels tagged on, an afterthought, no matter if it's still a truth that needed to be said. perhaps you could go 4-line verses with single lines between each as a quiet little voice speaking more solemnly without the prop of rhyme. i'm not overkeen on the cliché of 'living hell' though.

My stories worked too well
I used them to get by.
You really couldn’t tell
that all I did was lie.
It was making your life a living hell.


i hope this garners a few more comments, and see you putting yourself about on the boards, Y. people will often be inclined to spend a little more of their precious time responding to those they see bothering to do the same for others.