Letters

[cheesysusie]

Hey you,

I miss you. I miss lots of you. I'm sorry we lost touch. But it happens. And I love you still. And I will miss you more soon.

-Me

 

[amelia]

Dear Fave Movie Theater:

I wanted you to be showing Bend It Like Beckham today so that i could see it in style and comfort..but no. now i have to go to the nerd theater. Way To Go. I'm extremely(slightly) pissed off.

You won't see me again..until next week.

With Hate (and a strong desire for buttered popcorn),
Amelia I. Shornee

 

[Secret Pleasure]

Dear You Know Who,

When is life suppose to get easier? Why is it that just as I begin to feel just a tiny bit comfortable, something has to crop up to shuffle things around again?

Ok so I'm giving in a tiny bit and doing what I've loathed having to do... and yes, I know I have to do that other thing too.

Something else to mention... I wish you'd stop tempting me with something you already clearly know I'm not strong enough to deal with. I try... I really do... but when you throw it into my path and in the manner in which you do... how am I suppose to say no?

Ok, I'm done whinning... I know what I need to do and I'm doing it. Just please don't make it too difficult.

Love,

me *secret sinner*

 

[BgMma]

To My Angel,

I must apologise for being so scatterbrained. No real reason, just getting that out of the way.
I am looking forward to taking a trip early next year if things work out right.
I miss you with my heart and soul. Love you.

T~

 

[Guest]

 

[ubertroll]

To Arafat,

No one lives forever.

You might have survived the Jordanians, Lebannon, the Syrians, Tunisia, and even the Nobel commission, but you're not going to live forever.

I'll be waiting.


--From the office of the Prince of Darkness

 

[MercyMia]

To A,

Well, I've never not wanted to talk to someone as much as I don't want to talk to you anymore. I used to think you were such a wonderful person, caring, generous, insightful. Your shallow cowardice has darkened all that, though. I dunno, man. There's nothing worse than a cowardly fireman.

M.

 

[Amaterasu]

Dear AOB,

Do you know what you are getting yourself into? Are you prepared for this? for me? for what this will change in your life?

If you're not, tell me now.

I already find myself falling... hard. I know you do too.

She saw it, on Friday. Sal saw it too- but I played it off.

Remember what we talked about? You need to be better unless you want to be discovered for what you are. what i am. what we are doing...

every weekend I am away from you I dream about you.

Love,
kme

 

[WaxNWane]

Dear Iggy,
Fix the heater, pronto. Chilled kitty alert.

Sincerely,
Geekonya

 

[amelia]

Dear Iggy,
Fix the heater, pronto. Chilled kitty alert.

Sincerely,
Geekonya

Dear Geekonya:

why should i fix the heat? i'm completely dressed and the kitty has fur.

the girlay has to fend for herself.

respectfully gnomey,
Ignatious D. Gnome.

 

[Lasz]

Dear Prospective Employer

Give me a job. I would list my qualifications because I know I would make a great employee to your company, but that information is too personal to display here.

Sincerly
Soon to have a degree and no job.

 

[WaxNWane]

Dear Gnomester,

Such work ethic is unbecoming. I gnow you can do better, being the high-brow type that you are. Idle threats about paddling will otherwise follow, gnelly boy.

Subtextually shadee siiiding,
Gene Kelllaay

 

[amelia]

Dear Gnomester,

Such work ethic is unbecoming. I gnow you can do better, being the high-brow type that you are. Idle threats about paddling will otherwise follow, gnelly boy.

Subtextually shadee siiiding,
Gene Kelllaay

Shadee Siiding for Peace:

you know it makes me hot when you place idle threats..and call me high-brow.

i'm eternally yours.

Gnomelicious

 

[amelia]

Dear Pseudomoniker:

it's ok to admit that you are a frat bizzoy. i will not hold it against you. frats are about community service and getting drunk. what's not to love about that.

admirably yours,
Amelia I. Shornee.

PS: i know you're not really a frat boy. "fraternities are for complete assholes and you are only a partial asshole"

 

[Liontamr]

Dear sporting gods,

So far you've handed me pathetic seasons from my teams. The Stampeders sucked... The Stars are a bunch of overpaid brats... The Blue Jays.. well they are the Blue Jays, nuff said..

So for the love of all things good, please let the Titans keep their awesome roll going and even better yet strike down the Colts who we all know are a bastard football team and should have never left Baltimore.

Much props,
LT

 

[amelia]

Dear Sporting Gods:

Please don't listen to LT. I think the Titans should go down faster than a middle school girl with self-esteem problems.

you've screwed the raiders this year..i think you should screw everyone equally.

with love (and i have boobs),
Amelia

 

[Liontamr]

Dear sporting gods,

Yeah hi there it's me again..

Listen, you damn near ripped the heart of my chest when you left the Titans one yard away from tieing (and possibly winning) a superbowl close to some four years ago. Last year you gave a team from the Oakland seniors outreach center a chance to win (which I will admit was nice of you, even if they did lend up looking horrid in front of the entire football world), now it's time to make up for that screw up you caused four years ago when you allowed some grocery stock boy to win a championship.

with deep respect and admiration, (and I have a cock.. because I'm sure some of you gods are female, I mean hell Nike is the godess of speed and crappy shoes isn't she?)
LT

 

[amelia]

Dear LT:

you're funny. i suppose the titans deserve a winning season. and since you've been loyal to them..i can respect that.

good luck.

Amelia

 

[Liontamr]

Dear Amelia,

Someone as loyal as you deserves a better team than what you got... But if you're interested, I have a spot on the Titans bandwagon saved just for you. (Trust me you'll like cheering for Steve McNair)

And I'd start going into how great a person you are and one of my favorite people online, but these are supposed to be short letters and not epic novels.

LT

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Dear God,

I've been trying to reach you all day. Well off and on in between the drug haze. I thought you might be here ... lurking.

I can't remember ever feeling worse in my entire life.

Please take away this flu and all of it's symptoms.

I promise to do something really wonderful in return like seriously try to quit smoking.

Be nicer to my neighbor and all that.


Sincerely,

LaFay

 

[Guest]

Dear Letters thread,

I think you are one of the best threads ever. I like to re-read the letters, a lot. For this, I shall bump you.

Sincerely,

nostalgic frump

 

[amelia]

Dear Physics Teacher:

you think you scare us...and you're right. maybe we can make a deal.


Sincerely,
Worried In Wishville

 

[MercyMia]

Dear Life,

You think I'm tired? I'm just resting, but I'll be up and about very soon. Watch out. And hide the dark chocolate!

MM

 

[Oscuridad]

Dear Lit,

Thought you could get rid of me as easily as that??
No chance.

Yours with intractable stubborness... And the need to tease libidos,

- O

 

[thegirlfriday11]

Dear Mr. Clooney,

Could you please start my New Year off right and surprise me by taking me out for a night I'll never forget?

Thanks
TheGirlFriday