Letters
- Thread starter amelia
- Start date
Saint Peter
shoots left
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2002
- Posts
- 94,064
Dear Santa
Thanks for all the cool stuff down the years but why in the hell would you give me a thermometer for Christmas? It will hang nicely on the garage and all but I wanted a pony.
Sincerly
SaintPeter
Thanks for all the cool stuff down the years but why in the hell would you give me a thermometer for Christmas? It will hang nicely on the garage and all but I wanted a pony.
Sincerly
SaintPeter
Eumenides
I Am Little Spoon
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2002
- Posts
- 24,371
Dear Body,
You suck so entirely much that I can only express myself in the crudest of ways. Either work right, and stop being such a fucking embarrassment, or fuck off. I'm tired of dealing with you. Every minute of every day. You don't listen when I talk nicely, attack you with the right dietary weapons, topical shields, and physical regiments. So answer me this. Why the fuck should I bother? I spend so much money on you that you should be paying me rent. Somehow, at one in the morning this logic works for me. Don't ask, just shut up and do something right for once in my whole godamned life.
Yours Reluctantly,
Eu
You suck so entirely much that I can only express myself in the crudest of ways. Either work right, and stop being such a fucking embarrassment, or fuck off. I'm tired of dealing with you. Every minute of every day. You don't listen when I talk nicely, attack you with the right dietary weapons, topical shields, and physical regiments. So answer me this. Why the fuck should I bother? I spend so much money on you that you should be paying me rent. Somehow, at one in the morning this logic works for me. Don't ask, just shut up and do something right for once in my whole godamned life.
Yours Reluctantly,
Eu
Minkey Boodle
clit-o-rific
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2002
- Posts
- 11,594
Dear ankle socks,
I'm terribly sorry that I thought pulling you up to knee-height would be fun and exciting. Now my toes are mad at me, but they're even more mad at you since they punched holes through you.
Can you ever forgive me?
Tossing you out,
Minks
I'm terribly sorry that I thought pulling you up to knee-height would be fun and exciting. Now my toes are mad at me, but they're even more mad at you since they punched holes through you.
Can you ever forgive me?
Tossing you out,
Minks
superlittlegirl
Polymorphous Perverse
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2002
- Posts
- 6,690
Dear Ms. Boodle,
Thank you for freeing us! We shall wiggle maniacally and run amok!
Love,
Your toes.
Thank you for freeing us! We shall wiggle maniacally and run amok!
Love,
Your toes.
Minkey Boodle said:
Minkey Boodle
clit-o-rific
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2002
- Posts
- 11,594
Dearest toes,
Before you get too far, lemme just take a little off the top. The saw-nails just don't get along well with shoes.
Clippers in hand,
The Boodle
Before you get too far, lemme just take a little off the top. The saw-nails just don't get along well with shoes.
Clippers in hand,
The Boodle
superlittlegirl
Polymorphous Perverse
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2002
- Posts
- 6,690
Miz B,
We took a vote. We want for you to paint us girly pink.
Love,
Your Piggies
We took a vote. We want for you to paint us girly pink.
Love,
Your Piggies
Minkey Boodle said:
Minkey Boodle
clit-o-rific
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2002
- Posts
- 11,594
Dear Tootsies,
If you'd stop taking that little piggie to market, you wouldn't have to worry about the little one crying all the way home. It's just not right for a kid to watch his brother get butchered.
While I think your pink polish idea is a dandy one, I don't own any. How 'bout a nice silver?
With brush in hand,
Minkey
If you'd stop taking that little piggie to market, you wouldn't have to worry about the little one crying all the way home. It's just not right for a kid to watch his brother get butchered.
While I think your pink polish idea is a dandy one, I don't own any. How 'bout a nice silver?
With brush in hand,
Minkey
superlittlegirl
Polymorphous Perverse
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2002
- Posts
- 6,690
Darling Minkey,
Silver sounds divine.
Your 10 li'l indians
Silver sounds divine.
Your 10 li'l indians
Minkey Boodle said:
superlittlegirl
Polymorphous Perverse
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2002
- Posts
- 6,690
Dear God,
Thank you for attending to my wishes so quickly! This instant gratification thing is sooooooo nice.
Love,
Freya
Thank you for attending to my wishes so quickly! This instant gratification thing is sooooooo nice.
Love,
Freya
*AlmightyGod* said:
sterlingclay
The Brown Hey-Zues
- Joined
- May 12, 2002
- Posts
- 7,569
Dear Abby
Your Message
I have been engaged to my girlfriend for almost a
year. We are to be married next month. My
fiancee's mother is not only very attractive but
really great and
understanding. She is putting the entire wedding
together and invited me to her place to go over the
invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what
we had expected it to be.
When I got to her place we reviewed the list and
trimmed it down to just under a hundred ... then she
floored me. She said that in a month I would be a
married man and that before that happened, she wanted
to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked
to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where
the front door was if I wanted to leave.
I stood there for about five minutes and finally
decided that I knew exactly how to deal with this
situation. I headed straight out the front door...
There, leaning against my car was her husband, my
father-in-law to be. He was smiling. He explained that
they just wanted to be sure I was a good guy and would
be true to their little girl. I shook his hand
and he congratulated me on passing their little test.
Abby, should I tell my fiancee' what her parents did,
and that I thought their "little test" was asinine and
insulting to my character? Or should I keep the whole
thing to myself including the fact that the reason I
was walking out to my car was to get a condom?
sincerly yours
Your Message
I have been engaged to my girlfriend for almost a
year. We are to be married next month. My
fiancee's mother is not only very attractive but
really great and
understanding. She is putting the entire wedding
together and invited me to her place to go over the
invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what
we had expected it to be.
When I got to her place we reviewed the list and
trimmed it down to just under a hundred ... then she
floored me. She said that in a month I would be a
married man and that before that happened, she wanted
to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked
to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where
the front door was if I wanted to leave.
I stood there for about five minutes and finally
decided that I knew exactly how to deal with this
situation. I headed straight out the front door...
There, leaning against my car was her husband, my
father-in-law to be. He was smiling. He explained that
they just wanted to be sure I was a good guy and would
be true to their little girl. I shook his hand
and he congratulated me on passing their little test.
Abby, should I tell my fiancee' what her parents did,
and that I thought their "little test" was asinine and
insulting to my character? Or should I keep the whole
thing to myself including the fact that the reason I
was walking out to my car was to get a condom?
sincerly yours
Shadowann2
My give-a-damn's busted
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2002
- Posts
- 8,829
Dear Self,
Hold on and be strong. You can do this and it will just get easier as you go! Don't let it get to you....stay strong!
Wishing You The Best Of Luck,
Me
Hold on and be strong. You can do this and it will just get easier as you go! Don't let it get to you....stay strong!
Wishing You The Best Of Luck,
Me
G
Guest
Guest
Dear Unreg.,
Words do hurt. I won't bite. You can voice your question, concerns, and opinions without hiding. Or you can even pm me.
Sincerely,
A friendly kinda gal
Words do hurt. I won't bite. You can voice your question, concerns, and opinions without hiding. Or you can even pm me.
Sincerely,
A friendly kinda gal
Shadowann2
My give-a-damn's busted
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2002
- Posts
- 8,829
Dear Not her husband,
Please behave yourself during your time on here. If at all possible, please avoid reading my posts and don't get mad if you read something that you don't like. This was my place to express myself first and I need the freedom to do so without worry of recourse. Just remember, I can't physically cheat with people through the computer!
I Still Love You,
Not His Wife
Please behave yourself during your time on here. If at all possible, please avoid reading my posts and don't get mad if you read something that you don't like. This was my place to express myself first and I need the freedom to do so without worry of recourse. Just remember, I can't physically cheat with people through the computer!
I Still Love You,
Not His Wife
WaxNWane
Hare puller
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2002
- Posts
- 2,094
Dear the chica who needs a hug,
When the man keeps you down, wrassle him into submission and stand on his head to get where you're going. And consider the hug and the requisite friendly pat on the butt sent.
Yours in silent defiance of the fascists,
Mr. Fuck the Man (and in the good way)
When the man keeps you down, wrassle him into submission and stand on his head to get where you're going. And consider the hug and the requisite friendly pat on the butt sent.
Yours in silent defiance of the fascists,
Mr. Fuck the Man (and in the good way)
superlittlegirl
Polymorphous Perverse
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2002
- Posts
- 6,690
Dear Pizza Delivery Person.
Why can't you get my pizza here in 15 minutes instead of 50? I'm very hungry. And please don't forget my pepperoncini peppers this time. And if you bring me a hot 2 liter of coke, I might just bitch-slap you.
Love,
Persnickety
Why can't you get my pizza here in 15 minutes instead of 50? I'm very hungry. And please don't forget my pepperoncini peppers this time. And if you bring me a hot 2 liter of coke, I might just bitch-slap you.
Love,
Persnickety
amelia
a boombox is not a toy.
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2002
- Posts
- 8,766
WaxNWane said:
Dear Mr. Fuck the Man (and in the good way):
The man can't keep me down...unless he puts me on my back and holds my hands above my head with one hand while pulling my hair to expose my neck with the other.
Needing a hug and more,
The Chica
Last edited:
perks
sarcasduck ruffleslut
- Joined
- May 20, 2001
- Posts
- 40,901
Dear papi chulo,
I don't even know how to say this, or what to say really. I am just glad you love me even when I'm a misguided schmuck. I'm going to work on being better.
You're the only person I know that loves me for my shortcomings and not in spite of them.
One day, maybe, I'll be worthy of you.
yours,
bella
I don't even know how to say this, or what to say really. I am just glad you love me even when I'm a misguided schmuck. I'm going to work on being better.
You're the only person I know that loves me for my shortcomings and not in spite of them.
One day, maybe, I'll be worthy of you.
yours,
bella
TheDR4KE
Breathing the sensuous Om
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2001
- Posts
- 2,223
Dear perky_bella
I love you for how far you've come, for your spirit, for your attitudes to the challenges in your life, for your deliciously naughty naked little girl spanky cunt, for your hazel ancient wisdom eyes, for your colours mingled with mine, for our soul.
You have been my other half for all the days of the Earth,
Quack
your Drake
I love you for how far you've come, for your spirit, for your attitudes to the challenges in your life, for your deliciously naughty naked little girl spanky cunt, for your hazel ancient wisdom eyes, for your colours mingled with mine, for our soul.
You have been my other half for all the days of the Earth,
Quack
your Drake
