Letters

[LovetoGiveRoses]

Dear Amelia,

Your is choice in AV's is again stunning. I unconsciously find myself reaching out to my screen to push the blond curls aside to admire the soft curve of your breasts.

Signed,

"jammed fingers in Virtualand"

 

[amelia]

Dearest Nora:

I want to celebrat the you yet to come. I want to toast to our reunion..when we will become one with the sun. We'll be stars, ya know. We might even burn with the fire of ten million stars.

Glowing in the Glory of rebirth,
Amelia

*smiling sweetly*

 

[superlittlegirl]

Dear Sadye,

I'm sorry I haven't written you lately. I'll send you a letter tomorrow. I'm trying to be a good granddaughter, really, I am!

Love,
Me

 

[Nora]

Dearest Amelia,

Piss off.

Love and smoochies,

Nora.

 

[amelia]

Dear Nora:

but..but..I LOVE YOU.

ok..ok..it was mean..i'll never do it again. what song can i sing to you to take your mind of the evil lyrics?

With love and apologies,
Amelia

 

[amelia]

Dear superlittlegirl:

you are very pretty.

with love,
your secret admirer

oh wait..my name is right over there
<---

oh well

 

[Shadowann2]

To Whom It May Concern,
Please leave me the fuck alone. You don't know what really happened and so how can you presume to butt in? I'm dealing with this my own way and you can just go to hell!

Angerly Yours,
Shadwann2

 

[Nora]

Dear Nora:

but..but..I LOVE YOU.

ok..ok..it was mean..i'll never do it again. what song can i sing to you to take your mind of the evil lyrics?

With love and apologies,
Amelia

Dearest Amelia,

it's ok. I'm cranky. I'm sorry I snapped. I'm gonna go to bed anyway.

Forgive me?

With deepest regrets,

Nora.

 

[superlittlegirl]

Dear Amelia.

I was just getting to write that very same letter to you. How uncanny is that?

With ,

Your not so secret admirer (Because hey. My name's right over there.)

[edited to return an emoticon to its rightful place.]

Dear superlittlegirl:

you are very pretty.

with love,
your secret admirer

oh wait..my name is right over there
<---

oh well

 

[superlittlegirl]

Dear Amelia,

I edited a kissy icon out of that last message. It doesn't mean I take it back, but it just looked too icon heavy. I wanted to let you know.

--Freya

 

[Jim_Henson]

Dear Shadwann2,

Please dont be angry, you have such gorgeous hair and I'd really like to stroke it.

Me

 

[Shadowann2]

Dear Jim,
I'll try not too be so mad. I love having my hair stroked! BTW- I got a bit of a cut and I dyed it too! I like it very much.

Happily,
Shadwann2

 

[amelia]

Dearest Amelia,

it's ok. I'm cranky. I'm sorry I snapped. I'm gonna go to bed anyway.

Forgive me?

With deepest regrets,

Nora.

dearest nora:

of course. there was nothing to forgive. (don't tell lola )

with love,
amelia

Sweet SLG:

you could never have to many smilies for me. i love them. and it is uncanny. we are on a very similar mindtrip tonight. how fun is that?

You Rock,
Amelia

 

[superlittlegirl]

Dear Amelia,

I think I shall edit the post to its former kissy splendor. I'll never again be so prudish with my emoticons.

I'm enjoying our similar mindtrip immensely. It's a nice ride.

Freya

Sweet SLG:

you could never have to many smilies for me. i love them. and it is uncanny. we are on a very similar mindtrip tonight. how fun is that?

You Rock,
Amelia

 

[aly*]

Dear Pizza,
I know I am not your biggest fan. You know you can be too heavy on the carb's though! Niether of us is at fault. We just didn't work out. Anyways, That has all changed. Tb4p's post has aroused my craving. I want you something feirce. I was wondering if you could appear before me right now. I'll savor every bite if you let me.

Extra cheese, please!
-Aly's growling stomach

 

[amelia]

Neighbors:

Stop taking up all the good parking spaces. You have two and i have two. I know i only have one car, but that doesn't mean you can take up all four and leave me to park on the 'bad' side of the building. I do not want my window broken out again or my car keyed again! I'm super tempted to knock on your door and ask you to move atleast one of those fucking cars, but in the spirit of neighborly love i'm just going to blast my stereo all night tonight, invite my incredibly loud "wooing" friend over for some drinks and i'm reserving the right to maybe have some incredibly loud phone sex when your parents are over for dinner sometime.

Angstly Yours,
Amelia

ps..while you're at it...take a fucking shower, you both stink.

 

[perks]

dear self,

you're a fucking dumbass. quit being like that.

sincerely,

mella

 

[amelia]

Dear Mella:

So is everyone else.

With Love,
Self

 

[TWB]

Dear Self:

Please remember to remove your foot from your mouth.

Signed

Dented canned rodent.

 

[superlittlegirl]

Dear Igia.

Your products suck.

I will never believe an infomercial again.

Love,
Disgruntled

 

[Rhys]

Dear fuckhead,

You are an asshole. The irony of the situation is not lost on me, but you are not too bright, obviously. Stay the fuck away from her and stay the fuck away from me.

Have a nice day.

Me.

 

[amelia]

Dear Lola:

Sorry I missed your call last night. When I got off line and heard your sweet little voice on my voice mail, i got a little teary-eyed. Hope you're having a good christmas break, but i miss you.

With Love,
Amelia

ps..come home!

 

[april-wine]

Dear sexy-girl

I am concerned about one of your recent posts, where you uttered the word ass....Now the word ass in itself doesn't worry me, but the fact that Hanns got you riled enough to utter it does....Please feel free to rat him out to me and I shall utter such vile words in his direction, that Mr. Hanns shall beg forgiveness....

Yours in concern and lust

april

 

[TWB]

Dear Amelia:

I like your hair. I would like to beat it down with a broken fan belt.

Love and Kisses,

TWB

 

[Rhys]

Dear Ms. McSomething,

While Mr. King appreciates your devotion and willingness to serve, said sewing machine was thrown out of his household for obvious reasons. If you can figure out how to get said machine back into his book, rather than back into his home, he would be much obliged and might feel the need to send you some of his earlier works, which were more erotic in nature.

Thank you for your patience.

Mr. King's secretary,
Emoodiepants Devoura

Dear Ms. Devoura,
My client, Ozzy Osbourne, wishes to purchase said sewing machine for his personal collection. The Osbourne family will soon be opening a museum of such relics, and my client feels that this sewing machine will fit perfectly with the theme of the museum. Please contact me personally as I am unable to disclose the amount being offered here. I understand that I am to offer you a first edition hardbound copy of Stephen King's Firefly to sweeten the deal

Thank you for your time,
Mr Curly Batflesh
99 King's Road
London.