Letters to Santa

[AppleBiter]

Okay -- this is the PC Letters To Santa thread. No, you don't have to celebrate Christmas or be Christian or anything else. It's all in good fun. So, in the spirit of the Holiday Season, what will your letter to Santa say?

Here's mine:

Dear Santa,

What a bitch of a year this has been. I would like to ask for a better year, next year, for my family, my friends, and myself. I would like health, peace, happiness, and friendship for everyone. Except Kevin Costner, because I hate his movies and he wasted my money and my time when I went to see "The Postman" in the theater so many years ago. Please bring him a lump of coal.

If you could lower my electric bill, that would be nice. Oh, and the bed's shot, so we could use a new one of those, too. If it's not too much trouble, we'd also like a big 'ole tax return. And, some peanutbutter cups, too.

Thank you, Santa.

Love,

Apple

 

[Guest]

dear santa

sex would be good. the lesbian variety of course.

and peace and happiness to all my friends and family.

and the best christmas ever to my kids

love Fem

 

[scheherazade_79]

Dear Santa,

It feels like I've taken on the world this year and still come out the other side with a smile on my face. Lots of nice presents would make that smile even bigger, and if they're sufficiently cool I'd even be prepared to give you a naked lapdance

I want... a new steering wheel, a session driving a Ferrari, a Salvador Dali clock because it represents my impression of time so well, The L Word (the DVDs will do, but if you have the cast handy I'll have them as well), a Q of real quality weed, an XBox 360 with some decent racing games, some underwear (get a girl to choose it, though), a book on Welsh grammar, some Nina Simone piano music, smoked salmon for breakfast Christmas morning, and just one year of my life where I'm not pushed to my limits. I'd also like a Fem. Actually, put that at the top of the list, and if you can't get any of the other stuff it's cool - just get me a Fem

Hugs to the big fat man,

Zade

PS - If everyone leaves you a glass of brandy and some mince pies, how long does it take before you're hurling through people's chimneys?

 

[Lady_Kit]

Dear Santa,

I'd like to enjoy the season this year, so could you send me a big shot of Christmas Cheer sometimes around Thanksgiving? I realize it's early, but you'd be doing the whole family a Huge favor.

Peace on earth would be cool too. Maybe you could start with the redneck with the roaring tail pipe and overloud stereo?

Joy to all is on my list too, Santa, actually, if you send along that Christmas Cheer I'll make it my personal mission to bring joy to everyone I know...especially the husband who says that if he doesn't get more joy soon he'll have a Blue (nuts) Christmas.

Oh, and last but not least, laughter and prosperity for my friends.

Kit

 

[cloudy]

Dear Santa,

What I really want for Christmas this year is gas money...enough to make it back home in time for Christmas. Oh, and a new cell phone, since my old one only works when it wants to. But, if that's too much trouble, just the gas money will be plenty.

Cloudy

 

[scheherazade_79]

I want some champagne truffles, too - a fuck-off huge boxful of them!

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Dear Santa,

I know my spirits sink like an anvil in the Atlantic this time of year. I want a real Christmas, one with meaning, depth, profound impact not just tinsel and lights and a pile of plastic crap that will be broken by new years.

I want to know that I am ok, that I am loved and not just loved because of what I do. I want to be loved because I am loveable. I would like to have my faith in the miraculous restored. All of the hokey shmaltzy predictable shows obliterated from broadcast television and someone sitting down and saying "Believe. Give as much as you can. Hug someone just because it feels good. Do something nice for someone just to let them know they are good people."

And if you can swing it, I'd like to deliver the presents to my many wonderful Lit friends so I can shake their hands, hug their necks and kiss their cheeks, whichever combination they like.

 

[angelicminx]

Dear Santa,

I'd like peace on Earth and goodwill toward humanity.

(And the other thing we talked about.)

Thank you,

Minx

 

[Liar]

Dear Santa,

Can I have everyone else's lump of coal, please? Would come in handy for the bbq come summer.

 

[CrazyyAngel]

Dear Santa,

since you failed to get me my wishes in the past years ... how about you just fuck off and give me the keys to your presents chamber, so I can take what I want?

Thanks
CA

 

[Misty_Morning]

Dear Santa,

I really don't need anything this year. I was wondering though, can you take something? I'd like you to take the last 5 pounds that I've trying to lose the past year. That would be really sweet.

Love,

Misty

p.s. Well, actually, if you have any pull I would like to get that cushy job I interviewed for last week. So maybe I do want something.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

Dear Santa

Would you be able to help with getting me through this winter, please? I'm not very strong right now and you know what last winter was like for me. I don't want to move back into that space. It nearly killed me. Not again, please? Can you keep SD far away from me please?

I'm dreading the holidays. It will be my first Christmas as a single mom, and I'm not sure how to do this. And I won't have my Love or my baby girl with me. And my little sister is going back to South Africa soon.

I like being on my own. I like my space. But please make me ok enough to take care of my 5 year old, and make this a happy time for her. I just want her to be happy.

Please?

Thanking you in advance

 

[rgraham666]

Dear Santa,

Please give my friends whatever they want or need.

I've got enough.

Thanks,
Rob

 

[matriarch]

Dear Santa,

Please give my friends whatever they want or need.

I've got enough.

Thanks,
Rob

Generous man.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Dear Santa:

Thanks.

 

[sophia jane]

Dear Santa,

I don't need any "stuff," but I'd really like some hope, if you can spare it. And not just me for me either. My best friends could also use some, too. And while you're at it, we'd probably all like a guarantee that next year will be better, with less drama and more contentment. And also, could you make sure I don't ruin my children?

Thanks so much!

 

[Candith_Arnette]

Dear Mr. Jolly

If you will embark on your gift giving journey an hour earlier this year, please stop by for a tummy toddy!

signed: Panty-less

 

[jushorny]

Dear Santa,

I want everything it takes to make the ones I love and the friends I have made to be happy, healthy, and worry free. That to me would be a present.

I wish my kids receive a gift to begin realizing what they want out of life and to begin their journey to make themselves happy, and to realize the journey is suppose to be good and bad, enjoyable and not so enjoyable, and that's okay. That would be a gift.

I wish my wife the happiness and love she deserves and a gift to remind me of this at least thrice daily would be helpful. That would make me happy.

I wish my friends to live healthy, happy and worry free. I wish that I find a way to be a better friend to them.

To a special friend I wish you give him support to realize he is well on his way to achieving the goals he has set for himself. Give him the chance to look back and realize what he has already accomplished. Give him the ability to continue to realize that when life seems dark, the sun is just above the clouds, still present, just waiting to come out.

See Santa, I’m a lot like you, only without the tummy. The best part of life is making those you love happy.

Jus

ps I could go on, but I'm sure you got the idea

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Dear Claws,

I ask nothing for myself at all. I am perfectly happy with what I have. I would, however, like to point out that there are a number of TROLLS on Lit who deserve your best, finest and most glorious supply of Anthracite in their stockings this year (and every year for that matter).

JJ

P.S. This year keep your hands to yourself, you old perv!

 

[S-Des]

Dear Santa, I got my present early this year. I have no need of anything else except the chance to bring happiness to the two women most important in my life.

Oh yeah, a job at an airlines would be a nice surprise. I'm going to be racking up some major miles this year.

 

[kiten69]

Dear Santa,

Half of my gift came early this year...he is such a wonderful man with a beautiful soul .

As for other wishes and desires...

Well this holiday season is going to be rough for my family since we lost someone very special at Christmas last year. I would love to see the people closest to me (mainly my grandfather and my kids) be able to enjoy the holidays even though there will be a great sense of sadness and loss hanging over our heads.

A little peace for my kids...they are struggling to adjust to the fact that Mommy and Daddy don't live together anymore and it seems that I get more and more of their anger and frustration...I would love for them to have a sense of balance and peace, and just be able to be kids again without any worries of these UGLY adult problems.

Happiness to those who are sad ...and love to those less fortunate...

And getting Des a job at an airline would be great...or having the winning lotto ticket fall in my lap

 

[FallingToFly]

Dear Santa:

I can handle the gifts on this end, so could you just do me a favor?

Give them peace, all of them, and hope and joy, and the strength to walk through the maelstrom of this life. You know who I mean, and I know you'll be able to find them better than I ever could.

Thanks, Papa C.

Me.

 

[arienette]

Dear Santa,

Material objects are not what I have in mind this year or any year, as you know. For me, I would like creativity and the motivation to accomplish great pieces of writing. I would like the courage to continue in my healing process, as the holidays put a damper on my mental stability, as you also know from past years. Even after 8 years I lead myself into believing she'll remember me, think about me and perhaps just send a card, but I know that's stupid.

I would also like the courage to stand up for myself and succeed in putting myself through school. I have surprised myself a great deal in being on my own for almost 2 whole years now and I have succeeding in taking care of myself, something I had always wanted to do but never thought I could. However, I know I'm going to need that extra little push.

Also, I would like peace for my Momma S, peace of mind, body and life. She deserves the greatest of gifts and I would surely love to give her something that she would use. For Momma J I would like for her to get a little taste of freedom. Nothing too huge, just some space to clear her mind and roam free, she deserves that, at the very least.

For everyone else, please just bring a big jolly sack of happiness and spread it around.

Thank you,
ari

 

[Skip1934a]

Dear Santa,

You already know I have everything I need, and all I ask is that you see that everyone who posts a sincere wish gets what they want/need, even if it's unspoken. Peace on Earth, good will to men, and the ladies of course.

 

[AppleBiter]

*bump with jingle bells on*