Let's Talk About... Getting Involved In A Partner's Fantasy

[Wild_Honey_66]

I've had a revelation!

Up until now, I've hated the thought of roleplay. Haaaated it. I wanted real! All real, all the time. Well, that may have put a little pressure on my partners who didn't necessarily have exactly the same kinks as I have. (Ya think?)

Recently, in the interest of personal growth, I've been re-evaluating a dynamic that worked really well for me a while back, but isn't quite as good of a fit now, for various reasons. While I was turning this over in my mind, I realized that I was stuck on this idea of needing my partner to BE the Thing. Not pretend, but be. Well he's not, and we've both known that, and he's been okay with that for the sake of my wet pussy, but I was not.

So. We did some honest exploring (He's a trooper, let me tell ya) and I heard some things that made me uncomfortable in the sense that they challenged my fantasy, and I had to sit with that discomfort for a bit and decide what I was going to do with it.

The conclusion I came to is that truth from someone I trust is always a good thing. And that acknowledging he isn't the Thing doesn't have to mean the end of the fantasy. And that maybe I can consider his willingness to join me in my fantasy as something akin to taking a friend out to dinner at their favorite restaurant.

So I've come full circle. With an upgrade!

Also there is a connection in there to my difficulty in receiving pleasure, but we can talk about that later, if it comes up.




Tell me about your thoughts and experiences with your partners' fantasies, and your own. Did everyone learn this years ago? I am kind of a late bloomer.

 

[Orchidea73]

I don't have much to say about it, I'm afraid. I am like you used to be. I hate role playing and that hasn't changed. Fulfill a fantasy, yes, but as "us".

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I don't have much to say about it, I'm afraid. I am like you used to be. I hate role playing and that hasn't changed. Fulfill a fantasy, yes, but as "us".

Can you explain what the difference is, for you?

I maybe shouldn't have used the term 'roleplay.'

 

[Orchidea73]

Can you explain what the difference is, for you?

I maybe shouldn't have used the term 'roleplay.'

Well, the way I understand it is that role playing is the acting out of the part of a particular person or character, right? For example, playing a game with my partner pretending that he is my boss and I am his secretary. Just one example but it can be something else. I'm his step daughter or I am his maid etc. etc.

That's what I intend for role playing. I don't hate it because I think there is anything wrong with it. Maybe "hate" is a strong word. I don't like it is more correct. The reason is very simple. Though I do love theater, movies and reading stories, I just don't feel me playing that out in private, for my pleasure. I would burst into laughing. I would find it funny, maybe, but def. not a turn on for me.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Well, the way I understand it is that role playing is the acting out of the part of a particular person or character, right? For example, playing a game with my partner pretending that he is my boss and I am his secretary. Just one example but it can be something else. I'm his step daughter or I am his maid etc. etc.

That's what I intend for role playing. I don't hate it because I think there is anything wrong with it. Maybe "hate" is a strong word. I don't like it is more correct. The reason is very simple. Though I do love theater, movies and reading stories, I just don't feel me playing that out in private, for my pleasure. I would burst into laughing. I would find it funny, maybe, but def. not a turn on for me.

Yes. I feel the same way. It's funny but not sexy to me.

So let's eliminate that term for the purposes of this discussion and just focus on the idea of a fantasy during sexy times.

 

[Orchidea73]

Yes. I feel the same way. It's funny but not sexy to me.

It's weird because If I read it in a story, it can be a big turn on. Speaking of contradictions. lol

So let's eliminate that term for the purposes of this discussion and just focus on the idea of a fantasy during sexy times.

I'm cool with that. Though it depends from the fantasy, I suppose. It can be enticing while you are with your partner, but from fantasizing and actually doing it there is an ocean in between. I think I'm kinda boring in the fantasy department.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

It's weird because If I read it in a story, it can be a big turn on. Speaking of contradictions. lol



I'm cool with that. Though it depends from the fantasy, I suppose. It can be enticing while you are with your partner, but from fantasizing and actually doing it there is an ocean in between. I think I'm kinda boring in the fantasy department.

People are complicated! Women especially so. For some of us, contradiction is our middle name.

Are you saying that your fantasies are similar to what you like in person? And you think that's boring?

 

[keeperofsecrets69]

I hate to butt into your conversation but I think you give men in general to much credit if you think of us as complicated. Especially when it comes to sex. Most of us are pretty simple, weird maybe but seldom complex. If we have any imagination at all we can turn about anything sexual. We just want to be a part of it. And if we have a specific fantasy we are partial to its probably running through our head at all times.

 

[Orchidea73]

People are complicated! Women especially so. For some of us, contradiction is our middle name.

Are you saying that your fantasies are similar to what you like in person? And you think that's boring?

I think you hit the nail. Yes, I think that's what I'm saying. I admit, I am not sure what kinky fully means? I think it may have different meanings to people. After all, kinky means "unusual" or "peculiar". But then again, what's unusual for me might be pretty normal and outright boring for somebody else. Fetish is pretty clear but kinky is more blurry. In any case, I do not think I have any fetish or kink. Compared to some of the sexual experiences I've read on these boards, and elsewhere, there are many things I haven't done. I'm always curious about the subject but it is not something that I feel I need, want or crave. The only thing I can say that I'm "obsessed" (can't find the right word) with, is passion. If I don't have that, I don't even bother. It's like oxygen. It's the engine that drives me. I NEED it. I don't know how to explain in order to convey the idea better. The language gap doesn't help either.

I hate to butt into your conversation but I think you give men in general to much credit if you think of us as complicated. Especially when it comes to sex. Most of us are pretty simple, weird maybe but seldom complex. If we have any imagination at all we can turn about anything sexual. We just want to be a part of it. And if we have a specific fantasy we are partial to its probably running through our head at all times.

I think this is an open conversation. So everybody is supposed and encouraged to butt in.

Having said that, I absolutely agree with you. And that is something I love about men.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

It can be as simple as planting the seed and shutting the fuck up. Letting her go with that seed in that moment as she does when reading erotic.

As example I’ve used.

We have foreplay , ( I know what the characters names are in what she’s reading.)

From behind , I say , think about < viper and rocket > who’s in this pussy deep ? Who’s cock are you sucking.

I don’t want or expect a answer. She rolls with it, in her head , but that wet pussy is mine.

Same with using “ real people “

As swingers , I can use that same scenario, only real dicks that she has sucked , rode or had deep in her pussy.

Role play doesn’t have to be about a lot of talking , acting out a one act play.

Good topic , kudos



P. S. Knowing the names is important , using something relatable is important , being in that moment is the most important part. Both of you committing to it in that moment.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

*

 

[Dribble]

It is all about pushing the right buttons right? How to get the brain stimulated? So...my question...and I could be very wrong...is this about bringing what you may think about when masturbating into the open? Because the trust is there?

 

[hotwords229_A]

Sharing fantasies is always tough because they are fantasies. I think if they move closer to something you want to make a reality then it is time to have a real conversation about who is comfortable with what.

Both parties may not want to dress up as their favorite Smurf and cover each other in bacon bits while driving a speedboat.

However, when it comes to simply fantasizing, I think anything is up for grabs. I encourage everyone to fantasize about me however they like. I’m happy just to be involved. I would like to hear about them, though, just out of curiosity and narcissism.

It is hard to get your partner on board with your own private fantasies, though. It takes getting over embarrassment and shyness. Not to mention, if they think it’s stupid or weird then it may blow the fun for you altogether.

Most of my personal fantasies are so fantastical they aren’t something that can really be achieved in real life anyway (that’s why they’re fantasies) so I guess I don’t really have to worry about it.

I have no idea if this answered the original question, but ^^^ those are all words that I wrote about it.

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

Can I piggyback on your original question and ask one? Would you want to know of you were the subject of one person's or a couple's fantasy?

You are. Wonder no longer. You are this. For many.

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

Oh! Well now I have questions! Lol

Yes, I just posted this for attention.

In respect to the OP...

I've never had a partner who wanted me to live out a fantasy. Unless it was the married one who was living her fantasy by cheating with me. Which I was not really into at the time. As for my fantasies...

No one has ever been willing to help me live my fantasies. So I don't have an answer on that end.

I certainly would be willing to help a partner live out their desires,

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

Well that does answer them in a round about way.

Never said you hadn't starred in my fantasies. But I would imagine you do not wish to hear about that and I don't feel like getting into any drama.

 

[Wand3rlust]

Can I piggyback on your original question and ask one? Would you want to know of you were the subject of one person's or a couple's fantasy?

Yes. I would.

 

[Wand3rlust]

In regards to the OP, I think that role play can be good -it does have its place. Its not something I would do every time. Nor for me is it done particularly seriously. Only with someone I had a good connection with who would go with the scenario or whatever.

And if you burst out laughing at times that's all good.
Its supposed to be fun.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Can I piggyback on your original question and ask one? Would you want to know of you were the subject of one person's or a couple's fantasy?

Hell yeah!

 

[Shi_One81]

I love finding out a partners fantasy(s) and making them come true

 

[Inspirinious]

I've had a revelation!

Up until now, I've hated the thought of roleplay. Haaaated it. I wanted real! All real, all the time. Well, that may have put a little pressure on my partners who didn't necessarily have exactly the same kinks as I have. (Ya think?)

Recently, in the interest of personal growth, I've been re-evaluating a dynamic that worked really well for me a while back, but isn't quite as good of a fit now, for various reasons. While I was turning this over in my mind, I realized that I was stuck on this idea of needing my partner to BE the Thing. Not pretend, but be. Well he's not, and we've both known that, and he's been okay with that for the sake of my wet pussy, but I was not.

So. We did some honest exploring (He's a trooper, let me tell ya) and I heard some things that made me uncomfortable in the sense that they challenged my fantasy, and I had to sit with that discomfort for a bit and decide what I was going to do with it.

The conclusion I came to is that truth from someone I trust is always a good thing. And that acknowledging he isn't the Thing doesn't have to mean the end of the fantasy. And that maybe I can consider his willingness to join me in my fantasy as something akin to taking a friend out to dinner at their favorite restaurant.

So I've come full circle. With an upgrade!

Also there is a connection in there to my difficulty in receiving pleasure, but we can talk about that later, if it comes up.




Tell me about your thoughts and experiences with your partners' fantasies, and your own. Did everyone learn this years ago? I am kind of a late bloomer.

First - Thank you for starting this conversation.

After reading several times, your post and the replies posted, I think I have gathered my thoughts on the subject.

In all relationships there is hope, maybe expectations, that the two people will have matching desires and fantasies to be fulfilled. I think that 100% matching expectations is extremely rare. So, there is always some compromise.

Sometimes a compromise is one person always doing what their partner wants and needs. We should know that will likely create resentment and problems down the road. Another form of compromise is giving the partner most of what they want and need. That may work, or also leave an unfulfilled desire/fantasy. Another form of compromise is sometimes they do one person's fantasy, and other times they do the other person's fantasy. (assuming both fantasies cannot be done at the same time, but that would be a shared fantasy) This may be more akin to "role playing" where the fantasy fulfillment is short term, possibly just one day or one week.

The bottom line is that there is a wide range of compromises in all relationships. To be a successful couple, they must find the right level of compromise that is sufficient to satisfy both partners enough to keep them in the relationship.

I have likely over-simplified this, but these are my thoughts (and my experiences) with many aspects of a long-term relationship, including the sexual desires and fantasies.