Lesbian's first time with a man

[GC66]

I did a search and came up with nothing. I'm not looking for a fantasy piece. I would like an actual account.

If someone could write about it or direct me to it, I would be appreciative.

Thanks.

 

[MatthewVett]

I did a search and came up with nothing. I'm not looking for a fantasy piece. I would like an actual account.

If someone could write about it or direct me to it, I would be appreciative.

Thanks.

It only went as far as a handjob, but it happened with me.

 

[Carnevil9]

Maybe I've lived a sheltered life, but I always assumed most lesbians had plenty of heterosexual relationships before deciding it just wasn't doing it for them, and decided to try "the other side." And the same for gay dudes. Which would make your story idea a very unlikely situation.

But of course I could be wrong. And of course being unlikely doesn't mean it wouldn't make a good story.

 

[soflabbwlvr]

Maybe I've lived a sheltered life, but I always assumed most lesbians had plenty of heterosexual relationships before deciding it just wasn't doing it for them, and decided to try "the other side." And the same for gay dudes. Which would make your story idea a very unlikely situation.

But of course I could be wrong. And of course being unlikely doesn't mean it wouldn't make a good story.

Actually, I think it is a highly unlikely situation for the opposite reason. My wife happens to work for an organization with a very high percentage of gay and lesbian employees. For over two decades we have been friends with several dozen lesbians--and have known their friends and families, as well. A lot of lesbian women, as you indicated, did have previous heterosexual relationships before deciding that didn't work for them. Some of them tried the gay lifestyle for a few months or years. Some eventually returned to the hetero side, although most are still gay.

The vast majority, however, knew they were gay from a very early age and never had any interest in men whatsoever. Except for a extremists they are in no way man-haters, but for them the thought of having sex with a man is repulsive. It's not an option, and it is not something that arouses their curiosity. It is as appealing to them as the thought of having sex with a goat would be to you. It's just not going to happen.

 

[Bramblethorn]

The vast majority, however, knew they were gay from a very early age and never had any interest in men whatsoever. Except for a extremists they are in no way man-haters, but for them the thought of having sex with a man is repulsive. It's not an option, and it is not something that arouses their curiosity. It is as appealing to them as the thought of having sex with a goat would be to you. It's just not going to happen.

I think the stats are on Carnevil's side here.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK45095/

"...the great majority of lesbians report a history of having had heterosexual intercourse (Bevier et al., 1995; Bybee and Roeder, 1990; Ferris et al., 1996; Gómez, 1994; Price et al., 1996; Skinner et al., 1996; White, 1997)."

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/3209700.html

77% of lesbians who responded to a survey in 'The Advocate' had had sex with a man at some point in their life, 71% had had PiV. (Elsewhere, I saw a stat that 25% had been pregnant, but I won't go looking for that cite just now.)

May be the lesbians you know are atypical in that regard - if there's one thing I've learned from demographic research, it's that nobody has a circle of friends/acquaintances who are representative of the overall population.

 

[soflabbwlvr]

I think the stats are on Carnevil's side here.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK45095/

"...the great majority of lesbians report a history of having had heterosexual intercourse (Bevier et al., 1995; Bybee and Roeder, 1990; Ferris et al., 1996; Gómez, 1994; Price et al., 1996; Skinner et al., 1996; White, 1997)."

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/3209700.html

77% of lesbians who responded to a survey in 'The Advocate' had had sex with a man at some point in their life, 71% had had PiV. (Elsewhere, I saw a stat that 25% had been pregnant, but I won't go looking for that cite just now.)

May be the lesbians you know are atypical in that regard - if there's one thing I've learned from demographic research, it's that nobody has a circle of friends/acquaintances who are representative of the overall population.

Interesting statistics. Digging further, it appears that the incidence may be as high as 75%. (The Advocate study was a self-selecting mail-in survey, which are notorious for their inaccuracy). I never would have believed it was so prevalent. What I could not find, however, was any discussion of when those heterosexual contacts took place--i.e., before or after identifying as lesbian.

In any event, it is kind of surprising that our friends' experiences were so at odds with the statistics. Either they comprise an unusual sample, or they are selectively editing their histories.

 

[Dyslexicea]

I seriously doubt you'll ever find the story as requested, I wouldn't even attempt to write it.

Most lesbians I've known have been at one time or another with a man. Not all hated it either. Kind of like me, boys, girl, I'm not a lesbian boy friend, I'm a lesbian. As far as those who've never been with a man, I think it highly unlikely they ever are going to be with one, they know who they are.

Yes some lesbian do go back to men while still claiming to be lesbian, life's complicated, loves complicated, shit happens.

As far as being pregnant I think 25% is rather low. By the way most of those who have been pregnant didn't need a penis to get so, picked her stud using a catalog. May I add that most of us want to fall in love, get married(legal or not) and have children.

May I also include; three more state added to the list of equal rights for gays and lesbians.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Interesting statistics. Digging further, it appears that the incidence may be as high as 75%. (The Advocate study was a self-selecting mail-in survey, which are notorious for their inaccuracy).

Yeah, I wouldn't have put a lot of weight on that one on its own, but it seems to be consistent with what I'm seeing elsewhere. One thing that was noted in one of those sources was that younger lesbians are more likely never to have had sex with a man, possibly because they haven't experienced as much pressure towards heterosexuality.

I never would have believed it was so prevalent. What I could not find, however, was any discussion of when those heterosexual contacts took place--i.e., before or after identifying as lesbian.

I can't find sources just now, but IIRC a lot of lesbians have het sex early on. often before their first lesbian encounter. Some are still trying to figure out what works for them, some are interested in sex but can't find a female partner, and I'd guess some are just trying to fit in with their peers.

Later on in life - I don't know how common it is, but I have lesbian friends in their 30s and 40s who still sleep with men. Most of them seem to come at it from a "guys for recreational sex, women for love" angle; OTOH, one of them is willing to say "I love you" to a genderqueer guy.

A few years back I caught a presentation from somebody in Stats New Zealand about measuring sexual/gender orientation in household surveys. They ended up having to use three separate questions - I think there was one on gender identity, one on self-described sexual orientation (including some non-European options, since Maoris and Polynesians have some concepts that don't fit neatly into the standard categories), and one on actual behaviour. People really are complicated!

In any event, it is kind of surprising that our friends' experiences were so at odds with the statistics. Either they comprise an unusual sample, or they are selectively editing their histories.

Probably both. Friendship groups are pretty much always non-representative, and almost everybody self-edits, consciously or otherwise.

Another thing that might be playing a part - how old are they? One of those sources mentioned that younger lesbians are somewhat less likely to have ever slept with a guy, possibly because they haven't experienced quite as much pressure towards heterosexuality.

 

[Carnevil9]

Likely or not in real life, you could certainly craft a story based on the idea.

Maybe the girl grew up on an island of all women (a modern day Lesbos kind of thing) where everyone is a lesbian. Or in some kind of lesbian cult or commune; whatever. Then for some reason she has to leave the island and move to the normal world. She's never seen a man before, and has only heard horrible things about them. But still, she finds them hard to look away from, sort of like a car crash.

Does she pursue one of these men? Or let one of them seduce her? What does she think at her first sight of a cock? First touch? Taste? Many ways to go from there.

 

[MatthewVett]

Maybe the girl grew up on an island of all women (a modern day Lesbos kind of thing) where everyone is a lesbian.

Just nitpicking, but I think you mean modern day Amazons. Lesbos is just a regular island in the Aegean, only really notable in ancient Greece for being the birthplace of Sappho the poetess and being extremely Balkanized.

It's only relatively recently that being a lesbian has really meant having female-female relationships. At other times, it simply referred to women who acted outrageously, and could refer to women who slept with men too readily, interestingly enough.