Um I have a bit of a problem...I'm kinda worried...because...um...well...how can I put this? I think my mom may have homosexual tendencies. I don't really know...I'm looking at suttle hints...like when she talks about her friends...I notice that she refers to most women as her friends, but to this one person as a girlfriend. Theres a bunch of other stuff too but I'm not going into it. I'm not a prude or anything...but I've always felt that homosexuality was ok...as long as I wasn't involved in it. What the hell am I supposed to do now?
Lesbians at the gate?
- Thread starter Darkstaff
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R Nitelight
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Darkstaff
Go to the library and check out 'Heather Has Two Mommies'.
It explains everything.
Go to the library and check out 'Heather Has Two Mommies'.
It explains everything.
hmmm...that's a tough one. I've never been in this situation, so I can't comment on what to "do".
I can say from personal experience that I've always been attracted to women in some form or another. I don't know if I will ever have a "girlfriend". At this point I will say probably not. Why? I guess I'm more attracted to men than I am women. And quite possibly I would mess around with a woman, but not exclusively date one.
How would I explain this to people? I don't know. I guess unless I was asked outright I wouldn't. It's really my own personal business. On the other hand, if you are really stressing about it...maybe you should ask her.
In my experience, if you are picking up vibes, you are probably dead on.
I can say from personal experience that I've always been attracted to women in some form or another. I don't know if I will ever have a "girlfriend". At this point I will say probably not. Why? I guess I'm more attracted to men than I am women. And quite possibly I would mess around with a woman, but not exclusively date one.
How would I explain this to people? I don't know. I guess unless I was asked outright I wouldn't. It's really my own personal business. On the other hand, if you are really stressing about it...maybe you should ask her.
In my experience, if you are picking up vibes, you are probably dead on.
Ask her?!?
If it were my mom, eeeeeeewwww gross (which is probably how you feel), I would just ask. It would drive me nuts, if the answer was yes, but I would at least know for a fact, a could get on with my life. Everyone is intitled to seek and fulfill their need for happiness, so I would be as supportive as possible! Good luck.
If it were my mom, eeeeeeewwww gross (which is probably how you feel), I would just ask. It would drive me nuts, if the answer was yes, but I would at least know for a fact, a could get on with my life. Everyone is intitled to seek and fulfill their need for happiness, so I would be as supportive as possible! Good luck.
I can respect everyone's opinion but Nogard's. Actually you dont know what the fuck you're talking about...I'm paying the damn rent on the house, so if there's the possibility of her bringing women into the house that I'm paying on then it sure as hell is my business...and if I were living in a house where someone were paying rent and that situation were applied to me...then the same would be true...they would be very entitled to ask me "what the fuck am I doing with X person." Think next time before you open up and say something asinine just because its popular.
CreamyLady
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Darkstaff, if she were bringing men home would it bother you as much?
Sometimes a special friend gets a special designation, like girlfriend, even though there isn't anything sexual. If there is, and you hadn't noticed it before, it might be because this is new to your mom's experience, too.
I can't say that, personally, it would bother me. Stunned senseless, yes, because my mother was very much a one-man woman. But as for the homosexuality itself, no.
Sometimes a special friend gets a special designation, like girlfriend, even though there isn't anything sexual. If there is, and you hadn't noticed it before, it might be because this is new to your mom's experience, too.
I can't say that, personally, it would bother me. Stunned senseless, yes, because my mother was very much a one-man woman. But as for the homosexuality itself, no.
Wise words
What exactly is the outcome when we don't show concern for our family members actions, and mind our own business? Broken families, that's what. It's not like she's the check out lady at the grocery store!
Don't get me wrong, I myself am a bi girl, it's just the mom thing that would be tough to deal with.
[Edited by G.R. on 02-02-2001 at 03:50 PM]
What exactly is the outcome when we don't show concern for our family members actions, and mind our own business? Broken families, that's what. It's not like she's the check out lady at the grocery store!
Don't get me wrong, I myself am a bi girl, it's just the mom thing that would be tough to deal with.
[Edited by G.R. on 02-02-2001 at 03:50 PM]
FantasyGoddess
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Re: Wise words
I totally agree with you G.R., nicely said.
G.R. said:
I totally agree with you G.R., nicely said.
Goddamn this feels sooo much like Jerry Springer. I dont get it. If she is bi/lesbian, its not like I wont love her anymore, but I don't know. Like I said, I'm not a prude, but homosexuality is one of those things that I just find to be wrong...there is something to be said for going too far to get pleasure. I mean if I came home and said, "mom, I'm a coke head," what would the difference be. Coke makes you feel good, and theres nothing inherently bad about it...the law is the only thing that sayswhether its good or bad. Hey if it makes me feel good why can't I do it? I wouldn't, but I hope you see what I'm getting at. I know either way I'm going to have to live with it somehow, and I won't give her a hard time over it either..it is her life. But I dont have to endorse it either, and I wont tollerate any Ellen DeGeneres wannabe's coming into my house trying to tell me about the rights of the gay person.
SeXy ReDHeD
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First off, I don't think that just because you pay the rent you are entitled to knoe everything about her life--because it's her life and she's an adult.
And even if she was a lesbian, so what? Just as your sexuality is none of her business, her sexuality is none of yours. If it turns out that she is a lesbian, does that really change how you feel about her? Are you still going to love her if she is?
In any case, I'm sure she respects your home enough to not "get it on" there. What if your situations were reversed, would you like her being in your business, asking who you're having sex with, when it's happening, and where? Really, I don't think it's any of your business. If she is a lesbian or bisexual or whatever, and she hasn't told you already it's probably because she's not yet comfortable with it herself. She'll tell you when she's ready.
Oh yeah--one more thing. If you're only okay with homosexuality as long as it doesn't involve you then you're NOT okay with it. That's just like saying, "I like black people as long as I don't have to be involved with them."
Whatever.
Had to add this! OMG! Being gay is NOT even close to being a serial killer! I can't believe you are saying that! What are you doing here at an open-minded sex site? Jesus. Just... I don't know what to say. I'm appalled.
And even if she was a lesbian, so what? Just as your sexuality is none of her business, her sexuality is none of yours. If it turns out that she is a lesbian, does that really change how you feel about her? Are you still going to love her if she is?
In any case, I'm sure she respects your home enough to not "get it on" there. What if your situations were reversed, would you like her being in your business, asking who you're having sex with, when it's happening, and where? Really, I don't think it's any of your business. If she is a lesbian or bisexual or whatever, and she hasn't told you already it's probably because she's not yet comfortable with it herself. She'll tell you when she's ready.
Oh yeah--one more thing. If you're only okay with homosexuality as long as it doesn't involve you then you're NOT okay with it. That's just like saying, "I like black people as long as I don't have to be involved with them."
Whatever.
Had to add this! OMG! Being gay is NOT even close to being a serial killer! I can't believe you are saying that! What are you doing here at an open-minded sex site? Jesus. Just... I don't know what to say. I'm appalled.
CreamyLady
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In a study done on frequency of sex, the most active were gay men, followed by heterosexual couples. Lesbian couples came in a distant third; women do not always associate intimacy with sex. Often, it is the emotional closeness that is more important.
If the issue ever does arise with your mom -- she comes right out and says she is having a relationship with a woman -- you might be equally honest and tell her that it bothers you, and why. It could be, though, that she just has a very special close friend, and is not very clear about expressing her feelings.
If the issue ever does arise with your mom -- she comes right out and says she is having a relationship with a woman -- you might be equally honest and tell her that it bothers you, and why. It could be, though, that she just has a very special close friend, and is not very clear about expressing her feelings.
First off readhead, I'm not even going to begin to get into what is my business and what isn't...if I'm going to find out eventually then is my business.
Secondly, the Black/Gay equation is so lame, tired, and flawed. Being a black man, I can say that, come what may, I'm black for the long haul. It is what I am, I cant change that. On the other hand, I can go out here right now and decide whether I want to fuck a woman or a man. I'm not bound to one or the other, just as I'm not bound to eating peas or carrots. You see this in prisons all the time: prisoners who were straight making decisions (those who werent raped) to go gay. And what about it if people are ok about blacks as long as they dont have to deal with them. I'm personally dont give a shit, I'm not here to get all people to like me, hell I despise most people. All I ask is that if we ever interact, then give me a fair shake. I can do that with lesbians/gays. Hey x person's car needs a jump, I can do that. x person needs my opinion on shoes, I can do that. x person wants to buy something from me...I dont care...I'll do all that for them same as if they were straight. But when it comes to that other person (if there is one) asking me "what do you think about my relationship with your mother," and ,"will you accept me..." the answer is hell no, punctuated with my pair of Desert Eagles. Keep that between you and her...dont involve me.
As for me not having prefrences for types of sex and still being here...and? I'm sure I'm not the only one: just cause you're here at Literotica doesn't mean you endorse every kind of sexual act there is. I suppose you endorse rape, torture, incest, and serious humiliation/mutilation too...I mean hell you're at a site with those kind of stories so it must be ok with you to be raped...
Secondly, the Black/Gay equation is so lame, tired, and flawed. Being a black man, I can say that, come what may, I'm black for the long haul. It is what I am, I cant change that. On the other hand, I can go out here right now and decide whether I want to fuck a woman or a man. I'm not bound to one or the other, just as I'm not bound to eating peas or carrots. You see this in prisons all the time: prisoners who were straight making decisions (those who werent raped) to go gay. And what about it if people are ok about blacks as long as they dont have to deal with them. I'm personally dont give a shit, I'm not here to get all people to like me, hell I despise most people. All I ask is that if we ever interact, then give me a fair shake. I can do that with lesbians/gays. Hey x person's car needs a jump, I can do that. x person needs my opinion on shoes, I can do that. x person wants to buy something from me...I dont care...I'll do all that for them same as if they were straight. But when it comes to that other person (if there is one) asking me "what do you think about my relationship with your mother," and ,"will you accept me..." the answer is hell no, punctuated with my pair of Desert Eagles. Keep that between you and her...dont involve me.
As for me not having prefrences for types of sex and still being here...and? I'm sure I'm not the only one: just cause you're here at Literotica doesn't mean you endorse every kind of sexual act there is. I suppose you endorse rape, torture, incest, and serious humiliation/mutilation too...I mean hell you're at a site with those kind of stories so it must be ok with you to be raped...
Look deeply
I am not claiming to know your family history, I don't want to make a single assumption, so I'll just say this-
Darkstaff,
Here's a possible bit o' help! Think deeply about what it is to be your mom.
Ask yourself, What has her history with men been like?
Does she seem to need to be nurtured now more than usual?
Is she becoming more relaxed with herself as a person, than in the past? What is her confidance like? and why?
I can only say that my attraction to a rare and occaisional woman, comes directly from my experiance with men, before I met my husband.
The kind of woman I lean toward is a very feminine one, very sweet, understanding, and sensitive. Sex has always been a secondary or even terciary factor, for me (not usually for my partners), in all of my motives for attraction.
"Quiet your mind, young Jedi.
Let the force flowww from within.
Always emotion is the future,
difficult to see."
Ohhh, the truths that surround us, yet they are known only by those who
can "see' without obstruction.
Displace your bias for a time, and the answesrs will come. Once they do. replace the bias and you'll see it MAY NOT have fit to begin with. I pray and wish the best of luck in your delimma. Peace
I am not claiming to know your family history, I don't want to make a single assumption, so I'll just say this-
Darkstaff,
Here's a possible bit o' help! Think deeply about what it is to be your mom.
Ask yourself, What has her history with men been like?
Does she seem to need to be nurtured now more than usual?
Is she becoming more relaxed with herself as a person, than in the past? What is her confidance like? and why?
I can only say that my attraction to a rare and occaisional woman, comes directly from my experiance with men, before I met my husband.
The kind of woman I lean toward is a very feminine one, very sweet, understanding, and sensitive. Sex has always been a secondary or even terciary factor, for me (not usually for my partners), in all of my motives for attraction.
"Quiet your mind, young Jedi.
Let the force flowww from within.
Always emotion is the future,
difficult to see."
Ohhh, the truths that surround us, yet they are known only by those who
can "see' without obstruction.
Displace your bias for a time, and the answesrs will come. Once they do. replace the bias and you'll see it MAY NOT have fit to begin with. I pray and wish the best of luck in your delimma. Peace
Ambrosious
Weaver of Written Worlds
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It never bothered me to find out my dad was attracted to women, I don't see the big deal.
What?
Your MOM??!!
Well that changes everything.
I'll get back to you.
What?
Your MOM??!!
Well that changes everything.
I'll get back to you.
Juspar Emvan
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Re: Look deeply
That's in motion dearest, but you are forgiven for even raising the quote.
As far as your problem Darkstaff, it is your problem. If your mother is making the chioce you believe, and that is a very big if, then she obviously has no problem with it. You may have issues with the consequences and then decide to move out and pay your rent elsewhere, or you may decide that she is an adult and a person in her own right and deal with it like you would for all those x people. If you don't want them to discuss the relationship with you - then just don't.
I suggest you simply ask, just as a metter of interest, not because it is any of your business, nor because you can or should influence the decision. However if you know then you can stop all this bullshit about what if, and get on with dealing with it.
G.R. said:
That's in motion dearest, but you are forgiven for even raising the quote.
As far as your problem Darkstaff, it is your problem. If your mother is making the chioce you believe, and that is a very big if, then she obviously has no problem with it. You may have issues with the consequences and then decide to move out and pay your rent elsewhere, or you may decide that she is an adult and a person in her own right and deal with it like you would for all those x people. If you don't want them to discuss the relationship with you - then just don't.
I suggest you simply ask, just as a metter of interest, not because it is any of your business, nor because you can or should influence the decision. However if you know then you can stop all this bullshit about what if, and get on with dealing with it.
SeXy ReDHeD
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I'm not going to debate the nature vs. choice issue with you, it's clear where you stand and nothing I say will convince you. That said, the race analogy will definitely be fundamentally flawed from your perspective and yet very valid from mine, so I'm not going to go there, either.
However, I will respond to this:
There is no problem with people who are racist or homophobic if they leave you alone... fine, people know who they are and can avoid them. But there IS a problem with someone who claims that they are NOT racist or homophobic, like you, because they're the ones that claim to be good--they're the ones that, without realizing it, perpetuate the biased attitudes and keep racism and homophobia alive.
About me endorsing "rape, torture, incest, and serious humiliation/mutilation", you're seriously mistaken. Those acts hurt people--homosexuality doesn't. If it's loving, fulfilling, consensual sex between two people, then what's the problem?
Another thing, you said, "Keep that between you and her...dont involve me." If you don't want to be involved, then don't involve yourself.
I will only say one more thing and then I'm not going to respond anymore: you posted on here asking for opinions and advice. Don't get mad when you get them.
[Edited by SeXy ReDHeD on 02-02-2001 at 04:54 PM]
However, I will respond to this:
There is no problem with people who are racist or homophobic if they leave you alone... fine, people know who they are and can avoid them. But there IS a problem with someone who claims that they are NOT racist or homophobic, like you, because they're the ones that claim to be good--they're the ones that, without realizing it, perpetuate the biased attitudes and keep racism and homophobia alive.
About me endorsing "rape, torture, incest, and serious humiliation/mutilation", you're seriously mistaken. Those acts hurt people--homosexuality doesn't. If it's loving, fulfilling, consensual sex between two people, then what's the problem?
Another thing, you said, "Keep that between you and her...dont involve me." If you don't want to be involved, then don't involve yourself.
I will only say one more thing and then I'm not going to respond anymore: you posted on here asking for opinions and advice. Don't get mad when you get them.
[Edited by SeXy ReDHeD on 02-02-2001 at 04:54 PM]
Juliangel
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Darkstaff said:
I disagree but if this is how you feel she probably already knows this and spends time exploring her sexuality elsewhere.
It really is none of your business who your mother sleeps with but tell me this, would you have the same problem if she were bringing men home?
Whoever said I was one of the good ones? I'm being honest and rational. That's doing a lot better than the liberal scum who pretend to be for equality for everything (which is foolishness, some things are mutually exclusive) and use the support they garner from hypocrites to screw the country. And I asked for opinons and answers, not recycled tripe I could have heard on the Jerry Springer show. Liberal pigs...
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