Lesbian?

[Guest]

I am in my early twenties. I am a devoted Christian, raised in a Christian home. My parents are clergy. I truly believe homosexuality is a sin, God’s word says so and therefore so do I. But I can’t shake the lesbian thoughts/feelings that I have been having for awhile. These feelings are so prominent and powerful; I am awake at night thinking about it, afraid to examine my feelings.

I am an artist and almost all of the human subjects I have sketched or painted are female. I have always considered myself a feminist. I have always had an underlying attraction to women, women kick ass! I understand women; to me women are beautiful inside and out. I had a VERY good friend in high school that I was attracted to (maybe in love with) but I didn’t know it until later.

I have had a few relationships with men, one I almost married and he died over a year ago. I don’t think I could ever give myself to another the way I did him. The truth is I don’t really like men, I don’t trust them and most of them intimidate the hell out of me. I don’t automatically think that makes me a lesbian, but given my beliefs I wonder if I should stay single.

If anyone could offer me any insight or any help I would GREATLY appreciate it. Elaine4343@hotmail.com

 

[funwdi]

It's okay

Hey...
It sounds like you're beating yourself up for something that you cannot control. Please don't do that. I know that you are religious and all, and I can respect that, but if you go on living your life wondering...or worse, in a lie for a relationship (with a man?) you will grow up depressed and unfulfilled.

When you realise that you have an attraction for another woman it's really hard to take. You have to try to put that aside and go out there and experiment to see if it's really true. The moment that you know it's true - after you kiss another woman and have your knees buckle, compare that to the feelings you have had with kissing men. Or maybe you won't have those feelings with a woman, but how are you to know unless you try?

I am not trying to recruit you into the world of Lesbianism, only trying to tell you that you have to do what makes you happy. Sometimes that means going against what you have been brought up with.

Take it from me...a Lesbian who thought that it was wrong, too. Being brought up in a very strict Catholic household, I had a hard time, too. Now I have found my SoulMate, and couldn't be happier with her!
Make sure that you think of all the consequences and weigh them out carefully.

I'm posting regularly, reply if you'd like or you can e-mail. I will answer your questions honestly, because I care.
Good luck with your situation, and God Bless.

 

[funwdi]

By the way...

I am sorry to hear about the man that died that you almost married.