Lesbian (or gay or that matter) Transition?

[It'sasecret]

Ok, sorry for the thread title. I am just unsure how to word this. I was curious how people here came to realize they were gay? Was it something you were curious about your whole life, did you know from the get go, did you slowly come to realize it? I ask b/c I am kinda going through a transtion right now. I have always fantisized about women, always knew I was attracted to them etc... But, it was always something I thought was just a sexual fantasy. I did not think it was something that would ever really happen, but rather something to think about while I masterbated. Then I began to REALLY want it to happen. But, I still only wanted women in a sexual way. I was not interested in having a girlfriend or a relationship etc... So, it did happen and I loved it. (I regret WHO it was with, but the experience itself was fun). That was about a year ago. Now, more recently I have been thinking about women more of the way I am attracted to men. I want to actually BE with a women, to hold their hand, kiss them good morning, be in a relationship etc... I am developing crushes. I am finding that I desire women mor and more. Anyway.... I hope you can all follow what I am trying to say. I am just curious how others began to feel the desire.

 

[MzChrista]

Im one who always knew. I have no idea what it feels like to not be a lesbian.
So I cant help you much I guess, but good luck.

 

[BlueSugar]

I realized that I was attracted to women, and I turned my head if someone was beautiful or I caught their eyes or something they've said. Then I turned it inwards and was able to appreciate myself better ... It was an experience that didn't just involve desire... it was a "coming of age learning" experience.. and I am still learning and growing, I think its wonderful. I do believe that there are things that having a same sex relationship can teach/be learned that having a straight relationship can't. They are just different in most ways, but the same ... if i'm making any sense... oi its late.

 

[It'sasecret]

I have also always known I was attracted to women, but my attraction has changed. It is hard to explain. I guess in the past the attraction was more of seeing women only has sexual objects. Please, don't misinterpret that. I don't mean women are objects, by any means. I just mean that my sexual attraction was just that --SEXUAL attraction, I did not want to cuddle, hold hands, flirt with etc... I just wanted to, to be blunt-- eat pussy. But, now I want to flirt, have a relationship, really explore the whole idea of being a lesbian. I am having a hard time putting into words what I mean.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I was curious how people here came to realize they were gay? Was it something you were curious about your whole life, did you know from the get go, did you slowly come to realize it?

Anyway.... I hope you can all follow what I am trying to say. I am just curious how others began to feel the desire.

Okay...I have always been attracted to females. It has always been an emotional sort of attraction...sex is always an after thought. I call myself bi-sexual..but that is only because i enjoy having sex with guys. For me, a relationship is meant to be had with a woman..Men are just for playtime and i have always felt like this.

Until recently, i called myself a bi-fem and meant it...now though as i get older and my children get more experience in the world..i find that i don't look at men at all. (or if i do...it's normally over and done with before i even realize the thought has occured). I guess i am slowly easing into being only interested in women. It's okay with me...believe me i don't mind a bit!!!

So for me...this transition is the exact opposite of yours..in that i have always Loved women in a non-sexual way...and it wasn't until my sophmore year in high school that i discovered that my love was also sexual in nature.

No matter how you see it...don't rush into anything. Always take the time to think about Your decisions. Find out more about the lifestyle. Read up on it. INVESTIGATE. Believe me, the more You learn...the better prepared you will be.

have a good one
PET

 

[glamorilla]

I've always known.

I didn't quite understand what that meant untill i hit puberty but before that I knew I was a little different than most boys~I loooooooved super heroes.

Still do!

 

[SweetCherry]

I think Glam just likes the ruggedly handsome guys in tights.

 

[glamorilla]

I did not think it was something that would ever really happen, but rather something to think about while I masterbated. Then I began to REALLY want it to happen.

It was the same way for me.

 

[It'sasecret]

Pet-- I find your post interesting. When you say you have always had an emotional attraction towards females, do you mean in girl-friend way or in a girlfriend way? I too have always had friendships etc.. with females, but I was never "liked" them. I did not get the butterflies in my stomach talking to girls they way I did with boys, but yet I did masterbate thinking about women. And now that I think of it, when I was younger and masterbated to the thought of women, they were just images I made up, not women I knew, whereas the boys, were actual boys I knew. Now, I think about people I actually know, both male and female. I don't think that I really plan on "doing something about it". It's just some feelings I have noticed lately. I am also married, so it makes it difficult to really explore any of this. Thanks for all the great responses.

 

[SweetCherry]

I think I understand what you mean. For a long time, I merely thought that I was only physically attraced to women and that I'd only be able to fall in love with a man. I'd had sex with girls back when I was 19, but I didn't really understand what was going on inside of me. Even 6 months ago, if asked, Id have sworn that I wouldn't fall in love with a woman. Then it all changed. I had a very meaningful sexual experience with my best friend. At that moment I realized that I had either changed or was wrong for a long time and just didn't realize it. Had she been free, I'd have persued her.

Now, I'm involved with a wonderful woman who makes my pulse quicken with one word, and I'm totally in love with her. She's totally mine, and I like that. Do I see it lasting? Yes, I do. Would I be against men as future partners, were I single? No, I wouldn't. I've hit that point in my life where I've realized gender means nothing. It's the person inside that I fall in love with, not what's in the pants.

 

[sweet_little_cookie]

well, my first boyfriend and I were hanging out in the mall together *free air conditioning, waiting for a movie* and we both looked to see the same people... men and women.

He asked me what I was looking at when the girl (who ended up being my first girlfriend) walked bi and interrupted me...

He thought I was the best for "not being pissed at me when I was lookin around"

We were 13.

I dont think I had a transition, so much as my life branched out fully.

 

[Etoile]

I didn't become sexually aware of other people before about 10th grade (I was 13 and 14 that year). I immediately acknowledged that I was at least bi, because I found both guys and girls attractive. When I was 14 I had my first relationship with a guy (two years older than I) I'd known since I was a little kid. I was scared as hell when he put his hand down my pants and even more scared when he put my hand down his pants; after that I stopped taking his calls. After that I was too busy with school to have any boyfriends. In college, I fooled around some with one of my best friends (a guy), but then in January I met my girlfriend. We'd been good friends online prior to that, but when I met her in person in late January (I had just turned 17) I was totally amazed. She gave me a backrub in bed that night and I was hooked. For me, the transition from bi to lesbian came when I realized how much more comfortable I was emotionally with a woman. To this day I can find men physically attractive (Johnny Depp, for example), but I know that I prefer women for love.