Lesbian Depression: How Come?

[Safe_Bet]

I know that I periodically suffer from severe depression. According to the Mayo Clinic, I'm not alone:

Lesbians and bisexual women might be at higher risk of depression and anxiety.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/health-issues-for-lesbians/my00739

Why do you think that is?

The MC says,

The problem might be more severe for lesbians who try to hide their sexual orientation and those who lack social support.

While I have never hidden my orientation, I like many others, certainly lack in social support. In my neck of the woods, the only "social support" comes from LGBT groups primarily situated around college campuses and WAY dominated by males or LGBT bars which are more "meat market" than "social".

So maybe that is a big part of the problem. (I don't know honestly).

What are YOUR thoughts?

 

[nfrrdscnnr1]

any

There are such a wide variety of wiring of the human brain that to this non-scientist, the possibilities are almost limitless. For me, grief connected with divorce was the most depressing thing. There must be a situational component of depression.
To what, if anything, do you connect your depression?

 

[PricelessT]

Good idea for a topic.

I don't discuss this too much, except for with my family, but I suffer from depression daily (maybe major depression at times, if major depression can be a sometimes-thing). Part of my depression, I know, has been and maybe still is from childhood traumas that I've suffered (which I didn't know were traumas at the time, other than the death of my mother's mom, and I'd rather not discuss them here). Since 2008 up until some point in 2012, I was sometimes taking citalopram for my depression. I never stayed on the pills for long, though, and I think part of my having seemed to feel better when taking them (at least to others) is because of the placebo effect (thinking that the pills are making me feel better and then feeling better because of that). The pills never made me feel much better, though, which is why I have always stated that they don't work. My mom insists that they don't work because I've never stayed on them for long. In January of this year, I took two citalopram pills (the only ones left in an old bottle) to ease what seemed to be a panic attack. But taking two gave me nausea; I kept feeling like I had to throw up. And that's the last I've taken of the pills so far.

I've also taken Prozac before, more so in my teens. Though I've never been officially diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, I know that I have that and I think, besides general anxiety, that's why one doctor prescribed me Prozac.

I'm not sure how much my depression has to do with my sexuality. I know that some would scold me for this, but I'm still not out to my family about my being lesbian.

 

[daddieslittlegirl7]

Hello

Until about 2 years ago I could not have related to this thread. I have always been an open and out positive spirit, very confident and happy. Thankfully I have been accepted by my family. My parents have both passed, I never came out officially to either...mom knew but would never have asked. I don't know if my depression was due to my sexuality but whatever it was I have never felt so low. the effects were also physical. My skin color was somehow dim..if that makes any sense. I gained 47 lbs, mentally I was a mess. At 48 I did not know what to do...I saw a doctors, after a few different meds I found they were not for me. I started to meditate, and changed my whole perception of me and who I was and what I wanted. So far so good. 30 lbs and counting. It may not work for all but thankfully I don't cry everyday anymore. I wish you all the best in your journey. It does get better.


Sending Positive Vibes

 

[southern_gal]

My heart truly goes out to each and every one that suffers from depression. I watched my husband go thru it a few years ago when he lost his brother whom he was very close to, and lost his job of many years about the same time. The man that I had known for years was always energetic, positive and enjoyed life. Within a couple of months he had withdrawn to the point that he didn't want me to even see him like that yet he hated to be alone. I was working then and it tore at me to go to work yet I had to. He was lucky in that he found another job that he really loves and his hurt over his brother got easier but I still feel a deep sadness for anyone struggling every day with depression. I wish there were magic words to make it go away.

 

[BiBunny]

I have Bipolar 1. It's tightly controlled by medications now, but I have gone through various dark periods of being very, very, very ill.

I think in my case, it's because everybody on my mama's side of the family is batshit fucking crazy. I just got hit particularly hard with the crazy stick.

Will post more later (on my phone at the moment). *Hugs for everyone who needs them*

 

[Stella_Omega]

I have had a couple of times in my life when I'm sure i was depressed-- un diagnosed, every time. Now, I'm a lot more aware and careful. I am on wellbutrin, which seems to be the magic bullet for me, even the generic does me good. I've been on Zoloft before but I hate the way my libido disappears. I'll take it again if I need to!

As to why lesbians might be more prone to it? Well, lack of support really really stinks. Humans are tribal animals. Not herd animals that blindly follow one leader, not pack animals that are content to remain in one place in the hierarchy-- we need a place within our group and we need a sense of status, and we hunger to increase our status. If every other woman is talking about her boyfriend and you can't talk about your girlfriend -- that's more than a petty annoyance. After awhile, it's kinda soul killing.

 

[PricelessT]

Stella, I'm sure that it was Zoloft I was on at times in my teens, not Prozac. But I may have been on Prozac at some point (in or after my teen years). So your mentioning Zoloft helped me remember.

And the following is so on-point: "If every other woman is talking about her boyfriend and you can't talk about your girlfriend -- that's more than a petty annoyance. After awhile, it's kinda soul killing."

What you stated in that quote, yes, I have felt like that often and I imagine that the feeling is very common in lesbian/bisexual woman communities.

Thank you to those who have wished those of us who suffer from depression to beat it/get better.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Good idea for a topic.

I don't discuss this too much, except for with my family, but I suffer from depression daily (maybe major depression at times, if major depression can be a sometimes-thing). Part of my depression, I know, has been and maybe still is from childhood traumas that I've suffered (which I didn't know were traumas at the time, other than the death of my mother's mom, and I'd rather not discuss them here). Since 2008 up until some point in 2012, I was sometimes taking citalopram for my depression. I never stayed on the pills for long, though, and I think part of my having seemed to feel better when taking them (at least to others) is because of the placebo effect (thinking that the pills are making me feel better and then feeling better because of that). The pills never made me feel much better, though, which is why I have always stated that they don't work. My mom insists that they don't work because I've never stayed on them for long. In January of this year, I took two citalopram pills (the only ones left in an old bottle) to ease what seemed to be a panic attack. But taking two gave me nausea; I kept feeling like I had to throw up. And that's the last I've taken of the pills so far.

I've also taken Prozac before, more so in my teens. Though I've never been officially diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, I know that I have that and I think, besides general anxiety, that's why one doctor prescribed me Prozac.

I'm not sure how much my depression has to do with my sexuality. I know that some would scold me for this, but I'm still not out to my family about my being lesbian.

Yeah. The doctors put me on anti-depressants and I take myself off of them pretty regularly! They just don't seem to work for me. (and I think 3-4 months is PLENTY of time to start working!)

I can't imagine not being out to everyone. THAT has to be hard as hell to deal with. 'Course being out, and therefore disowned by my own family (Sicilian men are genetically homophobic I think), isn't all that "supportive" either.

I have had a couple of times in my life when I'm sure i was depressed-- un diagnosed, every time. Now, I'm a lot more aware and careful. I am on wellbutrin, which seems to be the magic bullet for me, even the generic does me good. I've been on Zoloft before but I hate the way my libido disappears. I'll take it again if I need to!

As to why lesbians might be more prone to it? Well, lack of support really really stinks. Humans are tribal animals. Not herd animals that blindly follow one leader, not pack animals that are content to remain in one place in the hierarchy-- we need a place within our group and we need a sense of status, and we hunger to increase our status. If every other woman is talking about her boyfriend and you can't talk about your girlfriend -- that's more than a petty annoyance. After awhile, it's kinda soul killing.

Heh. As little as is available around here, maybe I should go back on Zoloft!

I personally think "support" has a LOT to do with it. I'm not sure if I'm all on-board with the "hunger to increase or status" part (that is your inner Dom coming out I think, hon), but I sure do on the "soul killing" part.

 

[chocolatecookie3]

I don't think they are related. Some women have depression, and some women are lesbian or bi.

My mom had depression, so I think it runs in my family. I had terrible depression with the baby (ante- and postpartum) Cymbalta works really well for me.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

I know that I periodically suffer from severe depression. According to the Mayo Clinic, I'm not alone:




Why do you think that is?

The MC says,



While I have never hidden my orientation, I like many others, certainly lack in social support. In my neck of the woods, the only "social support" comes from LGBT groups primarily situated around college campuses and WAY dominated by males or LGBT bars which are more "meat market" than "social".

So maybe that is a big part of the problem. (I don't know honestly).

What are YOUR thoughts?

My thoughts are: its because you're crazy. A vindictive nutjob. Maybe being the head of lesbian affairs dept of Lit is taking its toll.



Oh no, where did he go? Its troll mode daddy-o.

 

[AHornyMilf]

Depression

Is it depression or guilt....We have so many sexual hangups in this country....It's just not fair.
A woman loving another woman is a thing of beauty and shouldn't be judged critically just because it's two people of the same sex.
We have so many religious taboos and we're not focusing on the love between two people....I say toss off your sexual maladies and just enjoy.
Afterall, we are but two legged animals in its simplest form.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Is it depression or guilt....We have so many sexual hangups in this country....It's just not fair.
A woman loving another woman is a thing of beauty and shouldn't be judged critically just because it's two people of the same sex.
We have so many religious taboos and we're not focusing on the love between two people....I say toss off your sexual maladies and just enjoy.
Afterall, we are but two legged animals in its simplest form.

It was never guilt for me, I just didn't grow up that way-- I suffered depression anyway.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

Everyone has this niche, they are expected to fit in. Then there's just knowing. Knowing who you are and how that one facet is what people are going to see. Knowing that you are "this" and trying to figure out how to act and who to be. All this shit you gotta do or to be done. Most likely, you're doing it alone. Always alone in one way or another- even within a group. Often fed up with getting up and going through the motions to vet through the day, the same mundane bullshiy every fucking day. Then, there's the shit you cant control.

 

[BiBunny]

Is it depression or guilt....We have so many sexual hangups in this country....It's just not fair.
A woman loving another woman is a thing of beauty and shouldn't be judged critically just because it's two people of the same sex.
We have so many religious taboos and we're not focusing on the love between two people....I say toss off your sexual maladies and just enjoy.
Afterall, we are but two legged animals in its simplest form.

I wish being all fucked up over sex were my problem.

It was never guilt for me, I just didn't grow up that way-- I suffered depression anyway.

I don't have bouts of depression because I felt guilty, but I feel incredibly guilty for the way I treated people when I was ill.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I wish being all fucked up over sex were my problem.



I don't have bouts of depression because I felt guilty, but I feel incredibly guilty for the way I treated people when I was ill.

I hear that!

"I'm sorry for kicking you all those times-- I had a broken leg, you see..."

 

[Safe_Bet]

I wish being all fucked up over sex were my problem.



I don't have bouts of depression because I felt guilty, but I feel incredibly guilty for the way I treated people when I was ill.

I hear that!

"I'm sorry for kicking you all those times-- I had a broken leg, you see..."

Okay, why is that?

Seems like when dudes, especially gay/Bi dudes, get "angry" (due to whatever cause) they lash out and then usually rationalize the fuck out of it.

Women tend to feel depressed and "guilty" afterwards.

(and no, I'm not buying that old line of BS that men and women are mentally/emotionally that different).

 

[JaxRhapsody]

Not all men. it depends on their midset and the reason why. Often rationalizing it is to place blame else where like the root of their anger; you pissed me off, so it's your fault I smacked you upside the head. Most people can't admit they are mad because they allow themselves to get mad. Often trying to find a way to lessen the issue- straight men too. I think most women feel guilty because they realize what they truly had done or said. Most men only think they are proving a point of don't piss me off next time or my anger is bigger than yours. I guess a dominate issue. I personally have rage and anger issues, so I relate to and tried to explain it the best way I could, S_B.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Not all men. it depends on their midset and the reason why. Often rationalizing it is to place blame else where like the root of their anger; you pissed me off, so it's your fault I smacked you upside the head. Most people can't admit they are mad because they allow themselves to get mad. Often trying to find a way to lessen the issue- straight men too. I think most women feel guilty because they realize what they truly had done or said. Most men only think they are proving a point of don't piss me off next time or my anger is bigger than yours. I guess a dominate issue. I personally have rage and anger issues, so I relate to and tried to explain it the best way I could, S_B.

#1. Don't EVER respond to any of my comments again. They are NEVER direct to you.

#2. This is a intended to be a lesbian/bisexual woman's discussion. You are NOT welcome to participate, IMO. (Especially after already admitting that you are a troll whose sole purpose here is to harass me.)

#3. Either install a fucking spell check program (they are free FFS!) or STOP trying to pass yourself off as a writer. No writer has grammar and/or spelling as bad as your's. Everyone makes typos but yours are ridiculous and reflect the low level of your intellect!

 

[MatthewVett]

A bit off topic, but this is a good little resource regarding depression: http://depressioncomix.tumblr.com/ The artist suffers from it, and his comics explore the concept and feelings. Might be helpful.

 

[clishmaclaver]

I'm a lesbian, and a final year med student, so this is doubly interesting.

There are HUGE discrepancies between mental health issues in the LGBT community and the heterosexual community; our rates of everything are higher. It's actually rather alarming.

I've heard some neurological/structural propositions for why this is (essentially that when our brains wired to make us homosexual, they also wired to make us more prone to mental health issues), and some social ones as have been mentioned above. I'm not sure where I sit on it, to be entirely honest.

I've been on antidepressants for most of my life. I wasn't even a teenager when I began to need psychiatric help, and the official diagnosis is MDD/GAD. I had supportive friends, have had lovely girlfriends, and have been involved in lesbian-based activities since I was old enough to google, so the support issue was never really one for me.

The differences mentioned above about male and female brains- well, they ARE different. I think a lot of it is used to perpetuate bullshit, but the biological and structural differences are there, and they are significant.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I'm a lesbian, and a final year med student, so this is doubly interesting.

There are HUGE discrepancies between mental health issues in the LGBT community and the heterosexual community; our rates of everything are higher. It's actually rather alarming.

I've heard some neurological/structural propositions for why this is (essentially that when our brains wired to make us homosexual, they also wired to make us more prone to mental health issues), and some social ones as have been mentioned above. I'm not sure where I sit on it, to be entirely honest.

I've been on antidepressants for most of my life. I wasn't even a teenager when I began to need psychiatric help, and the official diagnosis is MDD/GAD. I had supportive friends, have had lovely girlfriends, and have been involved in lesbian-based activities since I was old enough to google, so the support issue was never really one for me.

The differences mentioned above about male and female brains- well, they ARE different. I think a lot of it is used to perpetuate bullshit, but the biological and structural differences are there, and they are significant.

So are you saying that lesbians are just "hard wired" with a tendency towards depression???

 

[Dyslexicea]

I like so many of us suffer from depression, at times very severe. When I was 15, shortly after I came out I attempted suicide. I slit my wrist, laid in my tub and watched my life slip away, very Hollywood I suppose. When I awoke in the hospital I was not at all relieved that I had not accomplished my goal. I didn't want to be alive, I didn't want the pain of living. I do mean pain not just emotional pain but physical pain. I was so weary of crying, I'd start crying and be unable to stop, I'd cry until I had no tears to cry and I'd still sit and sob.

I wish I could say that my suicide attempt was horrifying, that it was very painful, that feeling my life slip away was unpleasant but I can't it was just the opposite. Since I still suffer depression although only once has it been close to being that severe the thought of suicide is ever present during my depressions. I know I'll never do so, I will never cause the ones I love that kind of pain but the thought is there.

As far as drugs I've tried enough, for me they just don't work. They take away the depression but it's like living in limbo, no sadness but no happiness. Desire, none, no desire for sex, no desire for love, no desire for friends, it's like nothingness. I'd rather feel the pain than not feel at all. Don't bother suggesting this drug or that I won't go on another drug.

If we really do as lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transsexuals suffer from depression more than the general population I have to believe it's more because of rejection and loneliness but it's severity I think can be much worse when we don't have support.

 

[clishmaclaver]

No, not at all. It's one theory I've heard proposed; I'm not a neurologist and have minimal interest in it, so it's not a theory I could begin to defend even if I wanted to.

I have absolutely no idea why we're so prone to depression. I suspect, like most mental health issues, it comes down to a mix of genetics, biology and environment. But I did think it worth mentioning, incase there's someone here better versed in neuroscience than I am.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

#1. Don't EVER respond to any of my comments again. They are NEVER direct to you.

#2. This is a intended to be a lesbian/bisexual woman's discussion. You are NOT welcome to participate, IMO. (Especially after already admitting that you are a troll whose sole purpose here is to harass me.)

#3. Either install a fucking spell check program (they are free FFS!) or STOP trying to pass yourself off as a writer. No writer has grammar and/or spelling as bad as your's. Everyone makes typos but yours are ridiculous and reflect the low level of your intellect!

1. Look here, you stupid vindictive bitch. YOU asked about men, so I gave a mans answer trying to be fucking nice. I'll respond to whomever I see fit and you will either put me on ignore or deal with it like I have dealt with your bullshit since I started posting in the boards. I understand the main point of this being about lesbian depression, thusly I did not respond to how you would feelas I am not you, nor a god damned woman. I've put up with your rude comments and never responded till recently, so fuck you, I'm "lashing out." You've been asking for it.

2. I never said I was specifically trolling you. I said I was going in to Troll mode to fool around across the boards, cracking jokes etc. No fucks given about how you feel about me, I simply decided to do what you did- only slightly more intense than just negative criticism. Cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it. I am the one who allows myself to participate in whatever topic I want- not you.

3. I use my phone and it's a bitch(like you) to edit my post on it, although it does have a spell checker. I write, have for years, therefore I'm a writer. Stop trying to pass yourself off as a woman, and change your avatar to something more suiting for you- such as a black withered rose. My spelling and grammar aren't that bad. Get off your high horse.

In closing; go fuck yourself with a rusty pike wrapped in barb wire and a gasoline soaked t-shirt, you putrid piss soaked, sack of rotten shit.

sincerely, Jax "no fucks given" Rhapsody

edited to add, it's "They are NEVER directed towards you." whatever you wrote reads and sounds stupid.