Lesbian Advice please!!

[Illinoisguy1980]

I need help and advice. This is in all seriousness not for the sake of an online spank bank. My sister-in-law and my sister have broken up after a 4 year LTR. My sister did her wrong in so many ways and it’s crushed her. I love this girl like my own sister and she’s hurting so much. She like my best friend. How can I get her to move on or at least start the healing process? I’m a 42 MWM so I’m way outta my element here. Inbox me if possible. Thanks in advance

 

[Morganalefay512]

What advice would you give to your best friend?
I appreciate that you are coming from a position of compassion. It is lovely to hear that the two of you made a strong connection. Unfortunately, lesbians aren't that different to the rest of society so there isn't any magic you can do to heal it. If you are as close as you suggest I would recommend you do and say the same sorts of things you would with your best friend.

 

[Illinoisguy1980]

My only advice I could give that didn’t sound like a typical guy response was to keep herself distracted and immersed in things in her everyday life. Read a book, start a game, new hobby, travel, flirt your ass off to any and everyone, lose yourself into music and concerts and surround herself with as much friends and family as she can

 

[Illinoisguy1980]

What advice would you give to your best friend?
I appreciate that you are coming from a position of compassion. It is lovely to hear that the two of you made a strong connection. Unfortunately, lesbians aren't that different to the rest of society so there isn't any magic you can do to heal it. If you are as close as you suggest I would recommend you do and say the same sorts of things you would with your best friend.

I didn’t mean to offend really I didn’t. I meant that this is outta my

What advice would you give to your best friend?
I appreciate that you are coming from a position of compassion. It is lovely to hear that the two of you made a strong connection. Unfortunately, lesbians aren't that different to the rest of society so there isn't any magic you can do to heal it. If you are as close as you suggest I would recommend you do and say the same sorts of things you would with your best friend.

I wasn’t trying to offend you I honestly wasnt. My intentions are true. Generally and it may come across sexist but guys will usually tell another guy after a break up, let’s get drunk, get you laid, and start hitting the gym. Women tend to lead with their feelings more than men and all I know is she is hurting and it’s would crushing to watch her bear it

 

[Morganalefay512]

I know you aren't trying to offend and I am really glad that you are reaching out for second opinions. It shows that you truly care about this person and that you have a special connection. No need to be defensive, I agree with you and your actions. I think that perhaps you might be over thinking this a touch. Statements such as "women tend to..." are interesting generalizations. They can lead us to actions that aren't really true to what we would realistically do.

You seem to have some great thoughts already. Generally being actively engaged in positive goals and distractions is good advice. It sounds like you are willing to be available to help offer those distractions and bonding moments. Presenting yourself as a friend, or family if that feels appropriate would likely be a fantastic thing to do.

Rather than asking "what do women want?" I think you should be asking "what does this particular woman want?" Bad news here...I think you are in the best position to answer that question. I encourage you to act according to the idea of what advice would you give your best mate. Maybe she wants to go out to the pub get drunk and play pool... I would love that. You never know if you don't ask?

Again, I want to emphasize that I celebrate your reaching out for help. I think that is super fantastic. But I can speak from personal experience it is easy to over cook being helpful. Try to find what you think might work for her, if you share a strong bond then it is likely that you offering support and comfort will be enough, or at least will help you find what a good next step will be.

Good luck out there