Wow! It says that a chastity strap is recommended. It says what it does, and that makes sense, but I will have to do some research to learn how to use one.
Leahaven
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9to5
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I think the strap will help keep it on him as he fucks you with it.
have you not used a dildo yet? it will be like an extension of his cock
No, I have never used a dildo. It makes me think "foreign object." But this changes my feelings about that, because this would enforce a whole new level of understanding between Robbie and me, and I really want that level of understanding.
9to5
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Robbie will still do the fucking just wont be his cock. and think I long it could last
JennyCapricorn
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I was exactly the same way before Kevin started using the sheath and yes, it’s an entirely different thing when hes wearing it, but it also made me more comfortable with toys in general.
policywank
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Some amount of sadism on you part will enhance the experience for him. It sounds like he enjoys being dominated for its own sake which is natural for a husband like Robbie. But knowing that you enjoy doing it and get a certain sadistic thrill out of it will naturally draw you together in a shared experience.
policywank
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Well you have taken the first step of recognizing and acknowledging your interest and intentions. That is critical to being in the right headspace to respond when an opportunity arises. Otherwise that period of reflecting on "hey is this something that I want" will tend to come across as disinterest, which may allow the opportunity to slip away.
In some ways dating while married is not too dissimilar from dating while single. Dress to look good and with an awareness of the clothes that flatter your body. Be open to flirting and use your body language to show interest. Then approach each situation as it comes with an open mind, but also a level of consciousness that single women often do not possess.
What I mean by that is that as you have noted there are consequences to people knowing you date outside of your marriage. Of course that means that it helps to be discrete. But for me it also means that I feel a heightened need to be in control. Not control like you have with Robbie or even Travis. It is fine to be "equal" with your lovers. But I find that I need to be very aware and clear in my own mind about boundaries and expectations unlike when I was single and I might have been more willing to let the man take the lead. Managing those boundaries and expectations is assisted by being direct and explicit. Men function better that way, especially in a situation of dating a married woman where they are less clear on those things.
Also for me personally I don't care for the whole "the other man is my bull" stuff. It is fine that he is sexually superior. After all that is what you are after. But I don't let that other man dominate me or belittle my husband unless that is something we all enjoy as fetish play within the parameter of a high trust relationship. The way you managed Robbie and Travis was ideal. Yes Travis was sexually superior, but he did not dominate you especially in your own house. You ruled the roost. That keeps the men in line and by having them both under your rule it doesn't promote the other man above your husband. As you know in that context it is helpful to assert your authority at times by either denying a request or enforcing an expectation. Even little things help set the tone.
One more thing is that over time I find that it helps to have more than one outside lover. That way Robbie is less likely to be worried that he is being replaced by a specific man and that man is less likely to get out of line in terms of his role in your life. It is fine to treat a man as special within that specific intimate relationship, but not relative to Robbie. If he knows you have other lovers he is less likely to misperceive things - after all if he was a husband replacement why would you have other lovers?
P0peye
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Leah, sex toys shouldn't be seen as "foreign objects", rather as extensions of ourselves and as devices that can enhance our sexual activities. My wife and I own an extensive collection of dildos and vibrators that we use routinely. My personal favorite is my Jeff Stryker UR3 dildo, an extremely large dildo that I use to practice and refine my deep throat blowjob skills. It's extremely lifelike and feels just like a real cock. Do you consider Robbie's cage to be a "foreign object"?
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Purple_Fronds
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Oh Leah, yes you’re a sadist (sexually anyway) The good news is Robbie seems to be a masochist, so happy days.
You might both enjoy impact play, my guess is since your belt comment he’s thought about it often. Maybe a little guidance to him next time you ask him to pick some porn for you.
As always just follow safe practices. There’s a difference between causing pain and causing damage and there’s some very good advice and information on the forums, including the after care.
The bike ride was cancelled again. More rain! Do we now have a monsoon season or something?
So, very early this morning, here I was answering DM's on Literotica. While I was in here, I got a text. It was Derek asking the group if anyone wanted to meet at Starbucks for coffee. I was like, "sure!" And then no one else responded, at least not in the time it took me to put on shoes, grab my keys, and make it to the Starbucks. It was just Derek and me, and I was glad, and I could tell he was glad. He gave me a hug that lasted a little too long, but that was OK with me. We had gotten seated, and talking and everything was going great, smiles and laughs and just getting along great...and then guess who walks in?
Jack.
I was like, "this can't be happening." Jack AND Derek? Are you kidding me? I'm not like your most experienced dater ("dater?" What do you call someone who dates?), and now I've got TWO guys of interest sitting at a table with me? How do I handle that?
Honestly, this could only happen to me. I seem to attract uncomfortable social situations.
Derek's demeanor changed instantly, uneasy, less talkative, passive even. It was like he admitted defeat as soon as Jack walked in the door. But I didn't know Jack was back in town, and I think the look on my face when I saw him told Derek all he needed to know. Looking back on it, I feel so stupid! When I saw Jack, I lit up like a firefly hoping to mate.
Jack got a coffee, and as soon as he sat down at the table, he owned the space. He is that calm, collected, accomplished guy who radiates supreme self-confidence, but he never talks like he is that person. He is self-deprecating and always interested in YOU. (He just spent several weeks in South America, and he didn't say a word about it until I asked him.) He is so far out of my league that being around him is titillating and intimiating at the same time. I just smile non-stop like an idiot.
Jack talked to Derek and me with great interest in our lives, but as hard as he was trying, Derek had already abandoned any efforts with me. I felt sorry for him, and I was disappointed in him, turned off, even. If you want something, you have to go after it. When Derek finished his coffee, he excused himself and left. As I watched him stand up from his chair, I was hit with this unavoidable comparison. "OMG! He's just like Robbie!" I couldn't get the similiarity out of my head...that instant capitulation in the face of sexual competition. In my head, I felt like I wasn't interested in Derek anymore. I don't need another Robbie, but is he really just like Robbie? Or is it more that Derek is no longer interested in me? Maybe I turned HIM off. The thoughts were so distracting, round and round in my head, I wasn't hearing anything Jack was saying. I had to turn it off. "I'll think about it later."
Jack and I talked, and talked, and talked. Neither one of us wanted to leave, but he has plans for today. Of course. He's Jack!
I soooo didn't want to leave that table. The sexual tension between Jack and me makes me feel that warm, tingly feeling inside. I would have done anything he said. What makes me so nervous is that....I think he knows that.
Guess what. The sun's coming out.
So, very early this morning, here I was answering DM's on Literotica. While I was in here, I got a text. It was Derek asking the group if anyone wanted to meet at Starbucks for coffee. I was like, "sure!" And then no one else responded, at least not in the time it took me to put on shoes, grab my keys, and make it to the Starbucks. It was just Derek and me, and I was glad, and I could tell he was glad. He gave me a hug that lasted a little too long, but that was OK with me. We had gotten seated, and talking and everything was going great, smiles and laughs and just getting along great...and then guess who walks in?
Jack.
I was like, "this can't be happening." Jack AND Derek? Are you kidding me? I'm not like your most experienced dater ("dater?" What do you call someone who dates?), and now I've got TWO guys of interest sitting at a table with me? How do I handle that?
Honestly, this could only happen to me. I seem to attract uncomfortable social situations.
Derek's demeanor changed instantly, uneasy, less talkative, passive even. It was like he admitted defeat as soon as Jack walked in the door. But I didn't know Jack was back in town, and I think the look on my face when I saw him told Derek all he needed to know. Looking back on it, I feel so stupid! When I saw Jack, I lit up like a firefly hoping to mate.
Jack got a coffee, and as soon as he sat down at the table, he owned the space. He is that calm, collected, accomplished guy who radiates supreme self-confidence, but he never talks like he is that person. He is self-deprecating and always interested in YOU. (He just spent several weeks in South America, and he didn't say a word about it until I asked him.) He is so far out of my league that being around him is titillating and intimiating at the same time. I just smile non-stop like an idiot.
Jack talked to Derek and me with great interest in our lives, but as hard as he was trying, Derek had already abandoned any efforts with me. I felt sorry for him, and I was disappointed in him, turned off, even. If you want something, you have to go after it. When Derek finished his coffee, he excused himself and left. As I watched him stand up from his chair, I was hit with this unavoidable comparison. "OMG! He's just like Robbie!" I couldn't get the similiarity out of my head...that instant capitulation in the face of sexual competition. In my head, I felt like I wasn't interested in Derek anymore. I don't need another Robbie, but is he really just like Robbie? Or is it more that Derek is no longer interested in me? Maybe I turned HIM off. The thoughts were so distracting, round and round in my head, I wasn't hearing anything Jack was saying. I had to turn it off. "I'll think about it later."
Jack and I talked, and talked, and talked. Neither one of us wanted to leave, but he has plans for today. Of course. He's Jack!
I soooo didn't want to leave that table. The sexual tension between Jack and me makes me feel that warm, tingly feeling inside. I would have done anything he said. What makes me so nervous is that....I think he knows that.
Guess what. The sun's coming out.
From the DM I was answering when I got the text to meet at Starbucks:
"I have been reading about "inverted chastity" for the past 20 minutes. OH MY GOD! I can't get one of these fast enough! I've got a lot more reading to do. I need to decide on the size and shape and color.... How do people come up with the idea for these devices?
My bike ride got cancelled again. More rain! I was disappointed but then I started my research into a "chastity strap," which led me to find out about inverted chastity, and now all that has now promised a very enjoyable morning.
Robbie won't know a thing until it's time for him to put it on. I have to think of the perfect occasion.
This is awesome! Thank you so much for your help! I am really excited!"
"I have been reading about "inverted chastity" for the past 20 minutes. OH MY GOD! I can't get one of these fast enough! I've got a lot more reading to do. I need to decide on the size and shape and color.... How do people come up with the idea for these devices?
My bike ride got cancelled again. More rain! I was disappointed but then I started my research into a "chastity strap," which led me to find out about inverted chastity, and now all that has now promised a very enjoyable morning.
Robbie won't know a thing until it's time for him to put it on. I have to think of the perfect occasion.
This is awesome! Thank you so much for your help! I am really excited!"
If only I had read this 3-1/2 hours ago
I guessed that "impact play" means hitting someone, but I Googled it just to make sure.Oh Leah, yes you’re a sadist (sexually anyway) The good news is Robbie seems to be a masochist, so happy days.
You might both enjoy impact play, my guess is since your belt comment he’s thought about it often. Maybe a little guidance to him next time you ask him to pick some porn for you.
As always just follow safe practices. There’s a difference between causing pain and causing damage and there’s some very good advice and information on the forums, including the after care.
We haven't done it yet, but we are destined to enjoy "impact play." Robbie will find out when it happens.
Artfan2
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That would make things less interesting if Derek was just like Robbie. But what about Jack? Does he pass the stand up test? He sounds very different than Robbie and very exciting to you.
Robbie and I got some texts from Travis yesterday. Mostly they were pictures of him and Crystal at a "beach" people go to in that area, but it's not really a beach. It's a secluded sandbar on a river surrounded by forest, and it is a great place to spend the day if you know how to find it. Just keep your eyes peeled for gators and cottonmouth.
Anyway, we had seen pictures of Crystal before, and she is a pretty girl, but she was in a bikini this time, and Robbie was studying those pictures. At the time, Robbie and I were at an outdoor concert, and he was standing in line for beer. (I don't drink beer. Yuck!) I was standing next to him, watching him drool over the pictures of Crystal. I got up close to his ear.
"And just think," I said, "ten days ago he was fucking your wife."
Robbie blushed and stuck his phone back in his back pocket. We stood waiting in line for several seconds, and then I turned to him and added, "regularly." The people around us could hear that, but they didn't know what I was talking about. Robbie looked away to try not to think about it, but then he stuck his hands in his pockets like he always does to hide an erection. I quietly asked him, "Are you having a problem there, baby?" Robbie spoke under his breath.
"Leah, stop."
I got up close to his ear again.
"I'll give you a turn tonight, baby. Sometimes you get to fuck your wife, too."
Robbie took a deep breath, and he wouldn't look at me. He didn't want to see the innocent look on my face, because, you know, I am such a kind wife, giving him a turn and everything. I leaned in for one more comment.
"Is your little penis hard?"
Robbie stood there with his hands in his pockets to hide his erection. Too bad he wasn't caged. I didn't let him know that his shirt would cover any little bulges.
Next I have to tell you about how it went when he got his turn.
Anyway, we had seen pictures of Crystal before, and she is a pretty girl, but she was in a bikini this time, and Robbie was studying those pictures. At the time, Robbie and I were at an outdoor concert, and he was standing in line for beer. (I don't drink beer. Yuck!) I was standing next to him, watching him drool over the pictures of Crystal. I got up close to his ear.
"And just think," I said, "ten days ago he was fucking your wife."
Robbie blushed and stuck his phone back in his back pocket. We stood waiting in line for several seconds, and then I turned to him and added, "regularly." The people around us could hear that, but they didn't know what I was talking about. Robbie looked away to try not to think about it, but then he stuck his hands in his pockets like he always does to hide an erection. I quietly asked him, "Are you having a problem there, baby?" Robbie spoke under his breath.
"Leah, stop."
I got up close to his ear again.
"I'll give you a turn tonight, baby. Sometimes you get to fuck your wife, too."
Robbie took a deep breath, and he wouldn't look at me. He didn't want to see the innocent look on my face, because, you know, I am such a kind wife, giving him a turn and everything. I leaned in for one more comment.
"Is your little penis hard?"
Robbie stood there with his hands in his pockets to hide his erection. Too bad he wasn't caged. I didn't let him know that his shirt would cover any little bulges.
Next I have to tell you about how it went when he got his turn.
Derek texted me yesterday, but I haven't responded. Honestly, I'm ready to give up on both of them. I don't know what to think of Derek, and Jack is all flirt and nothing else. But then maybe it's me. It's not like I know what I'm doing.
Artfan2
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It sounds like Derek lost a lot of confidence when the two of you were at Starbucks and Jack showed up. If you wanted to, you could probably rebuild his confidence and drop a few subtle hints that you wouldn't mind seeing more of him.
Sometimes flirting doesn't go very far. But if you make your flirting with Jack more suggestive, perhaps he will respond in kind and it will lead to something more intimate and adventurous.
18 months ago, this was probably the most shocking thing I had ever seen:
https://forum.literotica.com/threads/leash-trained.1478717/post-97593711
This is where I responded to it:
https://forum.literotica.com/threads/leash-trained.1478717/post-97607239
The image stayed with me for days, and I was concerned about when and if the guy's penis would ever be unlocked. It seemed so cruel!
I guess I've changed a little since then
https://forum.literotica.com/threads/leash-trained.1478717/post-97593711
This is where I responded to it:
https://forum.literotica.com/threads/leash-trained.1478717/post-97607239
The image stayed with me for days, and I was concerned about when and if the guy's penis would ever be unlocked. It seemed so cruel!
I guess I've changed a little since then
cascadiabound
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It's so interesting how new ideas make our brains change. I bet you fantasize about having Robbie naked, caged and on your leash.
It's lovely to watch you embrace who you have always been, but didn't have the ideas or vocabulary to find the path.
9to5
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as one who wears a cage I would love to be on a leash, you have come a long way and I hope your enjoying your trip and learning more with Robbie
I took your advice, Artfan2.
We were finished eating dinner, and Robbie was sitting at the kitchen table putting feathers on arrows. I sat down at the table with him and was just watching (and wondering why he doesn't just buy arrows with the feathers already on them), but I knew I had not responded to Derek.
Derek's text to me was about bikes. It had nothing to do with "him and me." but his text was kind of unnecessary, so I felt like it was him kind of poking me for a reaction to him leaving Starbucks so soon. Being poked like that only felt more disappointing, so I decided to "poke back" and give him a "subtle" hint to find out why he left.
I texted, "You didn't last very long."
(How's that for subtle?) It took a few minutes, and I guess he didn't get the innuendo, but his response was way more than I expected. He said...
"I didn't want to share."
That was not the kind of response I was expecting, and my heart started pumping. Now we were into full on "him and me." I have no experience in this sort of thing, and a hundred responses ran through my head. Do I play it down? Do I play it up? Is "hard to get" a good idea or a stupid idea? I don't want to look like I want to run into his arms, but I don't want to push him away, either. Then I realized that as I was sitting there debating what to say, he was waiting, and the wait was probably not a good thing. I replied...
"I didn't either."
God! Now my hands were shaking. I couldn't believe I was doing what I was doing. We were not flirting about "I think you're cute" kind of stuff. We were talking about being together. Where I come from, a married woman meeting another guy for lunch is totally socially and religiously unacceptable.
He said, "The lunch invitation is always on the table."
Oh my God, how I was trembling. I took a deep breath, let it our slowly (and quietly, so Robbie wouldn't hear), and I replied...
"How's Wednesday?"
"Works for me."
My heart was absolutely racing. I had just arranged a date, and my husband was sitting right across the table from me. The most intense part of having Robbie right there was that, I LOVED it.
Derek and I texted back and forth for some time, flirting and teasing, and then he had to go. I put my phone on the table, not realizing I was all smiles, and Robbie said, "Who were you texting?"
I didn't have to remind myself who holds the authority in this marriage.
"Derek," I said. "We're doing lunch on Wednesday."
Robbie looked up at me. He was totally surprised, and I could tell he was uneasy about it, but I held his gaze to let him know that this lunch date was going to happen, and I didn't want to hear any complaints. He lowered his eyes like a good boy and went back to putting feathers on arrows.
Robbie's on a leash 24/7 now. You just can't see it.
After what just happened (planning a lunch date with Derek), I am LOVING this trip. I used to think I stayed aroused all the time. Now the word "aroused" doesn't begin to describe the constant buzz I feel.
