Laurel

[Guest]

It's not funny at all. Blurty sucks. I wrote my heart and soul out to up-date my jurnal, and it end up in log error. When I hit the return button, all the stuff I wrote was gone. Forever. It took whole day to write up but now it's all gone!

Anyway, last night I was gonna read SmoleScreen 6.0, but WTF is going on!!! Sofie a whore? I didn't recognise the development. I decided to re-read Book5 if I had missed something. Duh! The last two pages, I haven't read! I'm gonna read them now. When cheffie said Riven edited the book5, he didn't mention about two additional pages!

So, nyet spaciba to book6.0 for a couple of days, and off to read this:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=66826

It started off like a standard damsel in distress/suger daddy story. Characterisation was good. Then, boon Amber found herself fully clothesed in the morning and felt gratefull.

Zap-zap-zap

Flashbacks.

I won't tell you how, but I spent two weeks sleeping in the same bed with my best friend who happened to be a girl. She was wonderful, kind, pretty, etc. By then, she didn't see me as man. I'd seen her in her underware all the time.

She was in her t-shirt and panties and I in my boxers. Two weeks of sleepless nights! Soon after she became my house mate for two years.

She didn't see me as a man. Now did she?

She was the one who sought me after from the crowd, followed you around, called you often.

You are the one who never called.

You are the one who let four women slip through your fingers because you didn't believe or understand why they were doing what they were doing. You are the one who didn't do anything to upset your friendship.

You chicken shit.

Oh, well... I give up. Go play with Manu.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

Okay, Ive just read the Book5 - Boy shags a dog. I still don't get it though. Was there Book5.2 or something? What am I missing here?

I mean, Sofie was the youngest, and over a winter, she becomes 20year old whore? What's wrong with you Riven? Too many dope, isn't it.

I don't think I'll read the Book6.0 just yet. I had enough dosage of smoke for today, thanks.

No.

I didn't have to think twice.

''Alright.'' he said.
''I'm rhyming.'' she said.
''What the fuck?'' a newbie said.
''I'll be back.'' Arnie said.
''Today, I'll mostly eating peanuts out of shite.'' Jessie said.
''Eeetee go home.'' the ugly thing said.
''Bubba.'' Muffie said.
''Kill Arabs.'' Hanns said.
''Lisa, Lisa, Lisa.'' SG said.
''There is no art in this.'' you said.
''I'm gonna eat chicken wings and salad while watching Futurama.'' I said.

 

[Riven___Caulfield]

Sophie.

Dear Chilled,

I suppose I didn't think I'd have to stop and explain the story to someone, but if I somehow wrote it in a way that was impossible to peice together, here goes;

In Smokescreen, we begin thirteen years after the end of the world. By coincidence, the only survivors in the small city of Winnipeg, Canada, are a group of grade one, two and three students (ages six to eight, respectively).

Add thirteen, then these kids are nineteen to twenty-one, respectively.

Sophie is a Beta - she was a grade 2 student at the end of the world.

NOW - at the beginning of book six, it's been fourteen years since the end of the world. Sophie is - surprise surprise - twenty.

As it's told in book six, after the battle where the river forks, the kids from Winnipeg were rounded up and taken south to Grand Forks, North Dakota. There they were experimented on in ways that shall be revaled in book seven. The boys were placed in a factory, and the girls were made to stay in a hotel where they worked all day, every day.

The second-in-command of the old ones, however, took a shine to Sophie and separated her from the others, offering her better food in return for letting him simply look at her, naked. Sophie herself considers this whorish behavior.


Now with our sensibilities (as sensible as one could expect) we know that this is not, of course, the definition of a whore.

Smokescreen is written in first-person - the characters themselves are often unaware of the genuine truths of their world - they only know what they see. What the reader gets is this world, filtered through the first-person narrative of these unusual characters. Cypress, for example, uses more description than Sophie. Sophie has a very train-of-thought way of telling her story.

So - she IS twenty, she's NOT a whore, but thinks she is at the onset of the story.


Thank you, Chilled, for bringing tje lack of clarity to my attention.

 

[Jim_Henson]

May I add, I seem to be falling closer and closer to ND, I'm guessing this is a fucking HORRIBLE thing

 

[Guest]

Dear Raven,

Thank you for clarifying for those dumb-dumbs who are too busy jacking off, and at the end of the story, only remember memorable lines such as:

''Harder! Harder!!!''
''Aaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I'm CUMIIIIING!''
''Fuck my ass! Oh, YESSSSSS!''

In addition, please tell me why none of Canadian kids speak the way all the true Canadians do, er?

May I add, I seem to be falling closer and closer to ND, I'm guessing this is a fucking HORRIBLE thing

What the fuck does this mean?

 

[Riven___Caulfield]

why none of Canadian kids speak the way all the true Canadians do, er?

I suppose for the same reason the American characters don't all say "Y'all" or "take a gander".

 

[Jim_Henson]

Dont take a gander, take a fuckign GOOSE.