Laughter is Contagious

[jeff_is_smiling]

True stories about the silly-ass things that have happened to me oftentimes people find humorous (and there are PLENTY of these type stories). Case in point:

I was selected to do this large-scale project, and be a supervisor for about 6 clerical people. I was making plans for some significant changes in fact, so I decided that I needed to have a clerical meeting so they would know what was about to happen to their work processes.

I had never been a supervisor before, so I prepared well in advance so that the initial meeting would go smoothly and not too long. I was about 2/3 thru my agenda, and all was going well. Then, it happened.

This one "senior" clerk suddenly stood up, stating, "I just can't take this any longer..." ans started walking towards the door where I was sitting. I was sure this was to be my moment-of-truth as a supervisor. She was challening my authority directly in front of the other clerks. How I handled this would be crucial to my plans, and my future working relationship with the clerks. The tesnion built in me as she approached. Seconds seemed like hours....

Then, when she reached me, she stopped and bent over......and....

.......

pulled out a "Cling-free" dryer sheet that was sticking out of one of my pants legs....saying, "It was just STARING at me the whole time....I just couldn't take it anymore..."

Everyone started cracking up loudly...no chance of salvaging the situation...so I did the best thing a supervisor could do in the circumstances....adjourned the meeting....lol..

 

[kayte]

True stories about the silly-ass things that have happened to me oftentimes people find humorous (and there are PLENTY of these type stories). Case in point:

I was selected to do this large-scale project, and be a supervisor for about 6 clerical people. I was making plans for some significant changes in fact, so I decided that I needed to have a clerical meeting so they would know what was about to happen to their work processes.

I had never been a supervisor before, so I prepared well in advance so that the initial meeting would go smoothly and not too long. I was about 2/3 thru my agenda, and all was going well. Then, it happened.

This one "senior" clerk suddenly stood up, stating, "I just can't take this any longer..." ans started walking towards the door where I was sitting. I was sure this was to be my moment-of-truth as a supervisor. She was challening my authority directly in front of the other clerks. How I handled this would be crucial to my plans, and my future working relationship with the clerks. The tesnion built in me as she approached. Seconds seemed like hours....

Then, when she reached me, she stopped and bent over......and....

.......

pulled out a "Cling-free" dryer sheet that was sticking out of one of my pants legs....saying, "It was just STARING at me the whole time....I just couldn't take it anymore..."

Everyone started cracking up loudly...no chance of salvaging the situation...so I did the best thing a supervisor could do in the circumstances....adjourned the meeting....lol..

Thank you Jeff ~ That is priceless!

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

OK, one more true story....it's not like I am lacking in stories....

I had been divorced for about 3 years...still hadn't gone on any dates since then, and still had no desire to.....basically depressed a lot of the time....so I decide I need to just get out of the house and go to a movie.

I hadn't been to a movie in a few years either, so I started getting sorta excited about the possibility of seeing something funny. A good pick-me-up type movie would definitely hit the spot. So I research the movie listing and decide on some comedy....and off I go.

Just getting into the car is a sort of therapy now. I am driving to a movie...to get out and unwind...have fun....laugh....this will be GREAT!

I get to the theatre a little early...maybe 3 people in the place. I sit off to the left side instead of the middle. I am feeling a skosh "vulnerable" because I am alone...and it "feels" like I would be advertising how "alone I am" if I were to take up some spot in the middle section. But I sit on the aisle seat to get as nice a view as I can from the side section. Not a lot of people are coming in yet, so not much chance of a ton of people showing up.

Just then, a couple chooses to sit directely behind me. The entire middle section, and the areas in front or behind me are all available, but they sit in the row directly behind me. No big deal...their choice I figure.

Then the lights go down a bit....they are showing the previews now...naturally, since we are seeing a comedy, the previews are mostly future comedies as well. many giggles during the previews, espoecially the woman behind me. She is giggling harder and harder at each preview. She is a HOOT!

I am feeling better about myself AND my decision to leave the house. I needed this, and hearing her laughing behind me is making me feel pretty good.

Then it happens:

The boyfriend asks her if she is alright because she can't stop laughing. And in a STAGE WHISPER she tells him she can't stop laughing because she can easily see the entire screen and what is on it simply by looking at the top of my shiny bald head!

So much for feeling better about myself...lol...

 

[kayte]

OK, one more true story....it's not like I am lacking in stories....

I had been divorced for about 3 years...still hadn't gone on any dates since then, and still had no desire to.....basically depressed a lot of the time....so I decide I need to just get out of the house and go to a movie.

I hadn't been to a movie in a few years either, so I started getting sorta excited about the possibility of seeing something funny. A good pick-me-up type movie would definitely hit the spot. So I research the movie listing and decide on some comedy....and off I go.

Just getting into the car is a sort of therapy now. I am driving to a movie...to get out and unwind...have fun....laugh....this will be GREAT!

I get to the theatre a little early...maybe 3 people in the place. I sit off to the left side instead of the middle. I am feeling a skosh "vulnerable" because I am alone...and it "feels" like I would be advertising how "alone I am" if I were to take up some spot in the middle section. But I sit on the aisle seat to get as nice a view as I can from the side section. Not a lot of people are coming in yet, so not much chance of a ton of people showing up.

Just then, a couple chooses to sit directely behind me. The entire middle section, and the areas in front or behind me are all available, but they sit in the row directly behind me. No big deal...their choice I figure.

Then the lights go down a bit....they are showing the previews now...naturally, since we are seeing a comedy, the previews are mostly future comedies as well. many giggles during the previews, espoecially the woman behind me. She is giggling harder and harder at each preview. She is a HOOT!

I am feeling better about myself AND my decision to leave the house. I needed this, and hearing her laughing behind me is making me feel pretty good.

Then it happens:

The boyfriend asks her if she is alright because she can't stop laughing. And in a STAGE WHISPER she tells him she can't stop laughing because she can easily see the entire screen and what is on it simply by looking at the top of my shiny bald head!

So much for feeling better about myself...lol...

Awww Jeff, I'm sorry. And just what was the movie?

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

Awww Jeff, I'm sorry. And just what was the movie?

No idea...all I remember is the 10 years of therapy I endured as a result of her laughing...lol....we laughed about it afterwards actually...I mean, it isn't like I "powdered my head" before leaving for the movies....and it WAS a comedy....

Life happens sometimes....TO me usually though...

 

[ga400us]

I hate it when that happens. I have "cling-ons" attached to me all the time. I think I need to invent some kind of cling-on remover, perhaps I'll call it Cap N' Kirk, to keep the cling-on's off your ass.

True stories about the silly-ass things that have happened to me oftentimes people find humorous (and there are PLENTY of these type stories). Case in point:

I was selected to do this large-scale project, and be a supervisor for about 6 clerical people. I was making plans for some significant changes in fact, so I decided that I needed to have a clerical meeting so they would know what was about to happen to their work processes.

I had never been a supervisor before, so I prepared well in advance so that the initial meeting would go smoothly and not too long. I was about 2/3 thru my agenda, and all was going well. Then, it happened.

This one "senior" clerk suddenly stood up, stating, "I just can't take this any longer..." ans started walking towards the door where I was sitting. I was sure this was to be my moment-of-truth as a supervisor. She was challening my authority directly in front of the other clerks. How I handled this would be crucial to my plans, and my future working relationship with the clerks. The tesnion built in me as she approached. Seconds seemed like hours....

Then, when she reached me, she stopped and bent over......and....

.......

pulled out a "Cling-free" dryer sheet that was sticking out of one of my pants legs....saying, "It was just STARING at me the whole time....I just couldn't take it anymore..."

Everyone started cracking up loudly...no chance of salvaging the situation...so I did the best thing a supervisor could do in the circumstances....adjourned the meeting....lol..

 

[ga400us]

No idea...all I remember is the 10 years of therapy I endured as a result of her laughing...lol....we laughed about it afterwards actually...I mean, it isn't like I "powdered my head" before leaving for the movies....and it WAS a comedy....

Life happens sometimes....TO me usually though...

Funny story, thanks for sharing and for being able to laugh at yourself. World needs more of that!

 

[kayte]

No idea...all I remember is the 10 years of therapy I endured as a result of her laughing...lol....we laughed about it afterwards actually...I mean, it isn't like I "powdered my head" before leaving for the movies....and it WAS a comedy....

Life happens sometimes....TO me usually though...

You are right life happens. I am definitely hoping you are doing the laughing now hon.

 

[PolyLvr]

True stories about the silly-ass things that have happened to me oftentimes people find humorous (and there are PLENTY of these type stories). Case in point:

I was selected to do this large-scale project, and be a supervisor for about 6 clerical people. I was making plans for some significant changes in fact, so I decided that I needed to have a clerical meeting so they would know what was about to happen to their work processes.

I had never been a supervisor before, so I prepared well in advance so that the initial meeting would go smoothly and not too long. I was about 2/3 thru my agenda, and all was going well. Then, it happened.

This one "senior" clerk suddenly stood up, stating, "I just can't take this any longer..." ans started walking towards the door where I was sitting. I was sure this was to be my moment-of-truth as a supervisor. She was challening my authority directly in front of the other clerks. How I handled this would be crucial to my plans, and my future working relationship with the clerks. The tesnion built in me as she approached. Seconds seemed like hours....

Then, when she reached me, she stopped and bent over......and....

.......

pulled out a "Cling-free" dryer sheet that was sticking out of one of my pants legs....saying, "It was just STARING at me the whole time....I just couldn't take it anymore..."

Everyone started cracking up loudly...no chance of salvaging the situation...so I did the best thing a supervisor could do in the circumstances....adjourned the meeting....lol..

Thank you for making me chortle. I needed that.

 

[done_got_old]

Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos.

Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.

Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up... and all the other bells started to ring.

 

[kayte]

Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos.

Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.

Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up... and all the other bells started to ring.

{{{{{{{DGO}}}}}}

That one has me ROTFLMAO!

 

[ga400us]

Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos.

Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.

Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up... and all the other bells started to ring.

I'm wondering if this was the inspiration for Chuck Berry's "My Ding-a-ling"?

Brilliant!! Thanks DGO

 

[ga400us]

WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS

This one is priceless...A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!!!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a massive heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: February 16, 2010

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in.

I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!!!! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P. S. Sure is hot down here!!!!

 

[PolyLvr]

Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos.

Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.

Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up... and all the other bells started to ring.

Bwahahahahahaha. I didn't even see that one coming. Good one
.

 

[smoothdevil]

> Better than a Flu Shot!
>
>
>
>
> Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties
> And had never been married.
>
> She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
>
> One afternoon the pastor
>
> Came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting > room.
>
> She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
>
> As he sat facing her old Hammond organ,
>
> The young minister noticed a cute glass bowl sitting on top of it.
>
>
>
>
> The bowl was filled with water, and in the waterFloated, of all things, a condom!
>
>
>
>
> When she returned with tea and scones,
>
>
>
>
> They began to chat.
>
> The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity
>
> About the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got > the better of him and he could no longer resist.
>
>
>
>
> 'Miss Beatrice', he said,
>
> 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?'
>
> Pointing to the bowl.
>
> 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful?
>
> I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found > this little package on the ground.
>
> The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it
> would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't
> had the flu all winter.'
>
>
>

 

[ga400us]

> Better than a Flu Shot!
>
>
>
>
> Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties
> And had never been married.
>
> She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
>
> One afternoon the pastor
>
> Came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting > room.
>
> She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
>
> As he sat facing her old Hammond organ,
>
> The young minister noticed a cute glass bowl sitting on top of it.
>
>
>
>
> The bowl was filled with water, and in the waterFloated, of all things, a condom!
>
>
>
>
> When she returned with tea and scones,
>
>
>
>
> They began to chat.
>
> The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity
>
> About the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got > the better of him and he could no longer resist.
>
>
>
>
> 'Miss Beatrice', he said,
>
> 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?'
>
> Pointing to the bowl.
>
> 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful?
>
> I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found > this little package on the ground.
>
> The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it
> would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't
> had the flu all winter.'
>
>
>

ROFLMAO!!! That is too good!

 

[done_got_old]

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, they get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the University of Kentucky School of Law and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.

The last one (you know it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from "Mississippi State University" and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

 

[done_got_old]

Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland.

The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!'

The first one says, 'So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from?'

The other woman answers, 'I'm from Dublin, I am.'

The first one responds, 'So, am I!! And what street did you live on in Dublin?'

The other woman says, 'A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.'

The first one says, 'Faith, and it's a small world. So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?'

The other woman answers, 'Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course.'

The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I! Tell me, what year did you graduate?'

The other woman answers, 'Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.'

The first woman exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight! Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self!

About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters, 'It's going to be a long night tonight.'

Michael asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian?'

Brian answers, 'The Murphy twins are drunk again.'

 

[kayte]

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want
to stay fresh."
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow, too?"

 

[done_got_old]

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome. "It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They,too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: "Who fucked up your hair?"

 

[kayte]

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome. "It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They,too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: "Who fucked up your hair?"

Good evening {{{{{DGO}}}}} That is hysterical. Thank you.

 

[ga400us]

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, they get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the University of Kentucky School of Law and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.

The last one (you know it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from "Mississippi State University" and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

Gotta love electrical engineer jokes!

 

[ga400us]

...Brian answers, 'The Murphy twins are drunk again.'

ROFLMAO

 

[ga400us]

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want
to stay fresh."
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow, too?"

Gotta admire persistence! He must be a glass is half full kinda guy!

 

[ga400us]

He said: "Who fucked up your hair?"

Who says the Pope doesn't have a sense of humor! LOL