Laughter is Contagious

[pleaz_me]

*snuggle up to the pretty lady*

Mind if I steal a kiss?

Steal away doll........as many as you'd like!

 

[rozezwild]

The Stud Rooster

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster
for his chicken coop.
The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK
old fart, time for you to retire."
The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle
ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let
me have the two old hens over in the corner?"



The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am
taking over."
The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will
race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain
over the entire chicken coop."



The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance
old man.
So, just to be fair I will give you a head start."
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later
the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch
of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is already
about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.



The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the
front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun
and - BOOM - He blows the young rooster to bits.
The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit... third
gay rooster I bought this month."

Moral of this story.... Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age
and treachery will always overcome youth and skill!

 

[pleaz_me]

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster
for his chicken coop.
.........................................
The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit... third
gay rooster I bought this month."

Moral of this story.... Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age
and treachery will always overcome youth and skill!

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​

 

[techsan]

Steal away doll........as many as you'd like!

* 144 - * 144 - * 144 - * 144
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* 144 - * 144 - * 144 - * 144

That'll last for a little while...

 

[pleaz_me]

* 144 - * 144 - * 144 - * 144
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* 144 - * 144 - * 144 - * 144

That'll last for a little while...

Only for a little while...........

 

[techsan]

...

Moral of this story.... Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age
and treachery will always overcome youth and skill!

LMAO!
hehehehe....this ol' fart has a few tricks up his sleeve, too

 

[pleaz_me]

LMAO!
hehehehe....this ol' fart has a few tricks up his sleeve, too

I'll bet you do

 

[techsan]

Only for a little while...........

Mebbe ... long enought for the tongue to find a different place to kiss...?!?!?

 

[pleaz_me]

Mebbe ... long enought for the tongue to find a different place to kiss...?!?!?

 

[techsan]

Yeah, sweet lady! I think certain places are better licked than just kissed...maybe a combination of both ... and a little bit of Hoover too, right?

 

[pleaz_me]

Yeah, sweet lady! I think certain places are better licked than just kissed...maybe a combination of both ... and a little bit of Hoover too, right?

*whew*


*fans self*



'Tis getting very warm in here

 

[techsan]

From rozezwild ...

BY LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF A PERSON, YOU HAVE TO DECIDE IF HE IS A COMPUTER GEEK OR A SERIAL KILLER. GO WITH YOUR GUT FEELING AND CLICK ON YOUR CHOICE.

THERE ARE 10 PHOTOS. YOUR SCORE WILL BE GIVEN AT THE END. BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOUR SCORE AND FORWARD THIS TO YOUR FRIENDS AND ALSO THE PERSON WHO
SENT IT TO YOU!



Look into the eyes...............
Computer Geek or Serial Killer

 

[techsan]

*whew*


*fans self*



'Tis getting very warm in here

Here ... we'll throw off the covers ... and let's take off that hot dress ... no, dear lady, you don't need those panties either ... here, that should be cooler.

 

[pleaz_me]

Here ... we'll throw off the covers ... and let's take off that hot dress ... no, dear lady, you don't need those panties either ... here, that should be cooler.

No, no, still seems to be pretty warm in here!

 

[techsan]

No, no, still seems to be pretty warm in here!

Okay, okay! I think I know how to help...let me slide down a bit ... yeah, one leg here, the other there ... let me give some special attention right ... HERE ... for a few minutes and let's see if that doesn't help... ....sorry if it gets hotter for a bit but then it should get better....well, in a little while

 

[pleaz_me]

Okay, okay! I think I know how to help...let me slide down a bit ... yeah, one leg here, the other there ... let me give some special attention right ... HERE ... for a few minutes and let's see if that doesn't help... ....sorry if it gets hotter for a bit but then it should get better....well, in a little while

you are sooooooooooooooooooooooo BAD!

 

[techsan]

you are sooooooooooooooooooooooo BAD!

I'm sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyy....I was trying to be ssooooooooooooooo goooooodddd!

 

[pleaz_me]

I'm sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyy....I was trying to be ssooooooooooooooo goooooodddd!

Bad can be very good

 

[techsan]

Bad can be very good

WHAT DID YOU SAY? I'VE GOT SOMEBODY'S THIGHS IN MY EARS!!!

 

[rozezwild]

WHAT DID YOU SAY? I'VE GOT SOMEBODY'S THIGHS IN MY EARS!!!

TECHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE cant you hear me????hey get up from under there so i can kiss you

 

[copperbutterfly]

From Bill Maher

New Rule: Bluetooth headset users have to do something that lets me know you're just on the phone and not a dangerous schizophrenic. Right? We don't know if you're talking to your secretary or the evil leprechaun who lives in your head. You're not the chief communications officer of the Starship Enterprise. You're a shoe salesman asking your mom if you can bring over your laundry. If I wanted to overhear every tedious scrap of brain static rattling around in your head, I'd read your blog.

New Rule: Powerball Jackpot winners must stop saying they're not sure if they're going to quit their jobs. Of course you're going to quit your job. And I have news for you. Your co-workers want you to quit your job. Nobody wants to be on the pork-processing line next to the unbearable ass in the Gucci smock.

New Rule: Boy George must now be called Man George. Come on! You're no longer a hot British chick. You're Uncle Fester. And, by the way, over the weekend, Boy George got busted for cocaine possession. And now everyone is saying the same thing: "He had money for coke?"

New Rule: If your people are so desperate mannequins make them horny, there's something wrong with your religion. This week, police in Iran confiscated 65 mannequins for being too sexy. Guys, I'm sorry, but it's the mannequins that are supposed to have the sticks up their asses. In the free West, we don't have impure thoughts about inert hunks of tit-shaped plastic. We have Britney Spears.

New Rule: Words printed on a coffee cup will not turn you gay. A Baylor University dining contractor has banned Starbucks cups that have a quote from a gay author. Listen, breeders, you can't get AIDS from a Styrofoam container. And besides, if you're holding a double half-caf, vanilla mocha latte, extra foam sprinkled with nutmeg, you're already gay!

New Rule: If your razor has five blades, it's not a razor, it's a weed-whacker. With the new Gillette Fusion razor, the first blade lifts the stubble; the second severs the hair follicle; the third slices your skin; the fourth scrapes bone marrow; and the fifth was used by O.J. Simpson to kill his wife, and he wants it back.

New Rule: Just because we have an obligation to rebuild New Orleans doesn't mean we have to put it back in the same place. For $200 billion, we could put the French Quarter on the moon. Why don't we put it someplace it can stay out of harm and do some good? After all, New Orleans is the Big Easy, and a lot of America is uptight. Which is why I say we put New Orleans in Kansas.

New Rule: The fortunes in fortune cookies have to be fortunes. "You surround yourself with good friends" is not a prediction. It's a compliment. Quit kissing my ass, cookie! If I'm going to sit through a plate of MSG-laden, twice-cooked kitty-cat, I want a real fortune like, "That meal you just ate is going to give you cancer."

New Rule: There aren't "101 Sex Tricks." In fact, ladies, there is only one. It's called the blowjob. Do it 101 times.

And finally, New Rule: When a woman over 60 has a baby, it's not a miracle from God. It's a miracle from genetic engineers, fertility experts and the good people at Merck. Here in California last week, a 62-year-old woman with 11 children, 20 grandchildren and three great grandchildren, gave birth again. To a 40-year-old man who walked out. At an age when most women are content to putter around the garden or perform the opening number at the Grammys -- Janise Wulf, age 62, told the press at a news conference, "Age is a number. Every time you revolutionize something, there's going to be naysayers." To which the reporters replied, "We're over here!" And, lady, let me tell you something. You're not a revolutionary. You're a vagina with no off switch. Twelve kids? Let me guess. You're either a Catholic or a hamster. Look, I don't want to be the one to say that this lady is too old and she's already had enough children. But, this lady is too old and she's already had enough children! Hey, when you're 62 and you want children, you have two choices: a) in vitro fertilization, or b) luring them into a house made out of candy. But, in vitro fertilization is not for 62-year-old grandmothers. It's for 35-year-old lesbians. I know a little about this subject, because I recently patented a vibrating turkey-baster—ribbed for her enjoyment. And to everybody who came to my last Thanksgiving, I'm very sorry about the mix-up.

This was very long.....I laughed for a very long time!!!!!!

 

[techsan]

TECHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE cant you hear me????hey get up from under there so i can kiss you

 

[techsan]

Ever wonder about "average" sexual endowments of both sexes? Here's a sight that may answer some of your questions ... and maybe even provide some laughter as well....think about those answers!

Sexual Averages

 

[INeedLove]

Ever wonder about "average" sexual endowments of both sexes? Here's a sight that may answer some of your questions ... and maybe even provide some laughter as well....think about those answers!

Sexual Averages

Thank you Tech!!! Interesting, I'm in the 28% in cup size. And...now I'm wondering about my age limit lol. A 20 to 25 year old stays hard the longest..... Hmmmmmmmm??????

 

[techsan]

Thank you Tech!!! Interesting, I'm in the 28% in cup size. And...now I'm wondering about my age limit lol. A 20 to 25 year old stays hard the longest..... Hmmmmmmmm??????

Wait! WAIT!!! That doesn't mean that you shouldn't give us older guys a chance!

Good morning, sweet lady. Hope you have a great Friday!