laugh at my expense-go ahead

[midwestyankee]

It will probably work in a whole lot easier than you think right now, especially if you allow yourself to get very, very hot before hand and also allow yourself to relax. But you already know this and really just posted to get all of us horny old farts excited, didn't you?

 

[BiBunny]

That...sounds suspiciously like something I would do.

 

[coatcheckgirl]

And no photo of the offending (read: potentially delicious) object...?

 

[LWulf]

I wouldn't laugh outright.

...just maybe a gigglesnort or two

Cue sad trombone

Its a shame you can't return that, butt it's a new novelty toy. Now when you invite friends over for some erotic fun, you can pull out the gag butt plug and say "I did it, now all of you have too!" ...and watch their jaws drop.

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

And no photo of the offending (read: potentially delicious) object...?

Or measurements ether, damn!

Mike

 

[desertslave]

Or measurements ether, damn!

Mike

I know what you're thinking about, too. <squirm>

 

[DVS]

So-a bit back I posted about a new toy I purchased and I was a bit nervous about sharing it once it arrived (I ordered it from a shop online)

lets just say that when I saw the diameter measurement of the toy my brain automatically translated that as circumference. For all of you non-math (like myself) people-diameter is across the circle-circumference is around.

lets just say that I have this anal plug-that is a little (or a lot) larger than expected-but I have already let the cat out of the bag to the Man-so I guess it is fortunate I also bought a large bottle of lube.

commence with the laughter

Because now I have a whole new reason to be nervous

I thought all women knew what circumference meant. Doesn't it go along with that other word women talk about called girth?

 

[graceanne]

That...sounds suspiciously like something I would do.

Me, too.

Which is why I only buy stuff like that from local stores.

 

[Loverskitten]

Me, too.

Which is why I only buy stuff like that from local stores.

Seconded. I recently got a couple from amazon, one's too small and the other's too big. Call me Goldie Locks.

 

[graceanne]

Seconded. I recently got a couple from amazon, one's too small and the other's too big. Call me Goldie Locks.

There's that old joke: why are women historically bad at math? Because all there lives they've been told that
|------------------------------| is six inches.

However, whether that's the issue or not, I just can't visualise measurements in my head. I have to SEE it.

Plus, I refuse to use my debit/credit card on that kind of thing, and always pay cash. To do that, you gotta buy locally.

 

[LWulf]

There's that old joke: why are women historically bad at math? Because all there lives they've been told that
|------------------------------| is six inches.

I was going to mention that joke but chickened out.

 

[GuidingHand]

Plugs can seem intimidating, but sure enough as soon as you become comfortable with the size you have, you crave something just a bit more. I find the pressure on my glands gives extremely forceful and through cums... never tried one that large though.

 

[Que]

I am pretty sure its going to work in-but not easily--I broke out the measuring tape when I ordered to make sure of the size "so I thought" so fidning out its actually twice what I thought it was is quite a bit of a difference.

I am pretty pretty sure there are subs out there squirming in their seats knowing exactly what I am about to be in for.

And some horny old farts who probably think it sounds just dandy-since its not about to shoved up their nether region

speaking of non-math types...

um not "twice the size"

exactly 3.141592654 times the size.

 

[IrisAlthea]

So-a bit back I posted about a new toy I purchased and I was a bit nervous about sharing it once it arrived (I ordered it from a shop online)

lets just say that when I saw the diameter measurement of the toy my brain automatically translated that as circumference. For all of you non-math (like myself) people-diameter is across the circle-circumference is around.

lets just say that I have this anal plug-that is a little (or a lot) larger than expected-but I have already let the cat out of the bag to the Man-so I guess it is fortunate I also bought a large bottle of lube.

commence with the laughter

Because now I have a whole new reason to be nervous

See, I keep telling people it's important to learn math!
Perhaps not the best story to use when the kids want to skip their math home work though.

speaking of non-math types...

um not "twice the size"

exactly 3.141592654 times the size.

Um, not "exactly".

 

[midwestyankee]

See, I keep telling people it's important to learn math!
Perhaps not the best story to use when the kids want to skip their math home work though.


Um, not "exactly".

Well, she had to round it a bit. After all, pi are round, no?

 

[IrisAlthea]

Well, she had to round it a bit. After all, pi are round, no?

Yes, but "exactly" is not.

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

As of 10/17/2011 pi had been calculated to 10 trillion digits. I suspect that would be close enough for government work.

Mike

 

[midwestyankee]

As of 10/17/2011 pi had been calculated to 10 trillion digits. I suspect that would be close enough for government work.

Mike

I don't know. That sounds like awfully lax standards, even for a government. Perhaps you're thinking of the government of, say, Mississippi?

 

[BiBunny]

Well, she had to round it a bit. After all, pi are round, no?

Pi are round; cornbread are square!

This is why I have no friends.

 

[midwestyankee]

Pi are round; cornbread are square!

This is why I have no friends.

You might have better luck with polenta.

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

I don't know. That sounds like awfully lax standards, even for a government. Perhaps you're thinking of the government of, say, Mississippi?

Not to hijack the thread any more then it has been you seem to have a lot more fath in our government than I do. (LOL)

Mike

 

[SirVPL]

plug or unplug...

Only thing I can say is take a little at a time. Go half way or quarter way till you are used to it.
Slowly increase the penetration. Over time you will take it all in.

Notice Im not laughing...

 

[DVS]

So, the age old question has been answered. SIZE DOES MATTER!

Someone might think this thread should be moved to the cafe, but this is an educational thread for others thinking about purchasing things like this. Know the difference between words like circumference and diameter.

 

[LWulf]

Source: Doc Johnson website

The 4.5" Gumdrops Butt Plug is uniquely designed to give comfortable anal pleasure. Beginners can experiment with the slender knobbed tip, while the more experienced can enjoy the filling sensation of the bulged lower half with equal pleasure. A slender neck near the base ensures comfortable wear, both against and inside the body. Made of PVC, non-phthalate, latex-free, and includes our antibacterial Sil-A-Gel formula. The base adds to user-friendly design with a flat bottom that aids in solo play and doubles as a handle to help insertion. Available in charcoal and red.

Model 0242-02
Circumference 5.97 (in)
Dimensions 4.50L 1.90W 2.80D
Insertable Length 3.60 (in)
Material PVC

So...it's just short of 2" in diameter? Are you sure this is the item?? I was thinking it was something like this which is 5" diameter
I'm reading yours as having an overall size of "4.5" high, with a rectangular base that is (basically) 2" x 3". The plug would be only as big in diameter as the narrowest size of the base.
If not, then anybody would have made the same mistake...

On a side note, I hope you were joking about your husband not letting you have enough time to get used to it... that's really not cool.

Water based lubed isn't that bad, it's just the butt doesn't produced any moisture, so you need to add moisture to keep lubrication up, saliva helps.

If you use something else for lube, make sure you apply the lube to the toy a couple hours before use. See if it gets tacky at any time. If it does, then the lube is melting the toy which isn't good for your insides.

You will note in most pornos that a dude will pull out and either she will suck him to get his dick wet, or he will lick his fingers then rub his dick a couple times, then back to butt fucking. That is them using water based lube...

Edit: I wonder why Doc Johnson isn't advertising that jelly on his website... You might want to look into this...

 

[LWulf]

The lube didn't get tacky it just doesn't last very long-I usually purchase a different brand. One that is safe with the jelly type toys

I meant if you try a new non-water based lube, to test that on the toy beforehand.
Water-based lube doesn't last long because it needs water. Tell your husband to drool on your asshole if he doesn't want to get down and give you a spit shine (leaving generous saliva) before reinserting it. Sometimes re-wetting repeatedly.