Latin Player is back!

[latinplayer]

Hello, people.
I am an amateur author (you can look my writing up by searching for latinplayer) who favors good characterization and a strong plot in a story above all else, and I write across a wide spectrum of genres. Primarily, I write in the categories of fantasy, horror and science fiction. In case you didn't register the thread title, I am a Hispanic male, and I am in my early forties. (Although I do have a few books published in digital formats, I am in no way making enough money from them to earn a comfortable living.)
In the area of erotic writing, I've had my interest piqued by several sub-categories, such as Cheating Wives, Mind Control, Inter-racial and Incest stories. This last type has especially intrigued me now for years, and I must have read at least a couple of hundred stories on this site and others dealing specifically with this subject.

I noticed a few things about the style in which incest stories are written. The authors often hold back, and in the case of father-daughter relationships, often reflect the male as being a down and out loser whose wife has left him or died, and he ends up sleeping with his daughter out of some kind of mercy fuck on the part of the daughter, or in rarer cases, as some kind of revenge for his daughter's slutty behavior. Also, too many of the stories follow a predictable pattern; a loose plot leads to a private encounter, then we have a formulaic M/F oral, or F/M oral, or both, before they engage in quick, non-personal sex. It's like watching the same porn movie over and over, same routine, same cheesy music, same fake groans by the females, etc. Doesn't anybody have any creativity and imagination anymore?

Also, 99% of the stories I read came from an Anglo point of view. Anglo characters with Anglo jobs, speaking the way an Anglo would, which is fine to a point. I like a little more diversity in my stories, however.
So, I resolved to write a few of my own erotic stories. I wrote Outpost 77, which is a cheating wife, inter-racial threesome set in space, and I got almost zero feedback, although at last count it had over 17,000 views. Then I wrote the first chapter of the Misadventures of the Robles Family, which centers around one specific Latino family, and a slew of supporting personalities. To date, this story has 100,000 views, but again, very little feedback. I kept writing additional chapters, until I finally quit after chapter 9, because even though I was getting a lot of views, I couldn't really be sure that too many people even liked my stories.

A couple of years have gone by, and now, I've come back to this group of stories, and seen how crude some of the scenes were and how problematic the details are when looked at under a fine microscope. When I first posted these stories, I wrote them and posted them after a single editing, instead of the numerous edits I run through on all of my other writing. Still, I've averaged over 37,000 views per story, with an overall total of 372,379.

I've decided to give these stories a facelift, by changing some of the characters and situations around, and eventually, I'll be putting together the collection into a digital book. I'll be posting some of these revised stories in the near future, both for your enjoyment and hopefully for some feedback or criticism, and I encourage anyone who has read my first batch to go over them again for the purposes of comparing them to my revised versions.

Currently, I'm working on chapter 11 of the revised stories, and I'm giving myself a timeline of November 1 for the date when I post the first entry. My next post in this thread will relate some information about what inspired me to write these stories.

(If there is any doubt that I am an amateur writer, I'm certain it will be gone by the time you get down to reading this sentence.)

 

[jomar]

Welcome back and good luck.

That's a hell of a lag time between joining and your post!

 

[Stella_Omega]

We need more diversity in our perversity.

 

[latinplayer]

I'm glad a couple of people took the time to reply to my long-winded opening post. Thank you both. It's disheartening when I see one of my stories with 30,000 views and only 1 anonymous comment.
Okay, about my influences. The first story I submitted to Literotica was titled Outpost 77. I'd read some story in Asimov's or Analog about a couple of soldiers who were posted on some largely uninhabited planet, in a remote location and far away from anybody else. They were to serve as an early warning system in case their colony/base was attacked by aliens, but the chances of this happening were so remote that they ended up basically sitting around and talking smack to each other. The idea kind of appealed to me, as I was writing another space story where Starship Trooper type soldiers were under attack on another planet. I finished my other story, and Outpost 77 got stuck in the dust bin.

Eventually, I came back to it, reread it, and decided to go in a whole different direction. At first, I was going to have my two bored soldiers, a by-the-book Anglo sergeant and his single charge, an unruly Negro soldier, approached by some strange life form. This life form was to seduce the two of them. I came up with a couple of concepts of aliens, one had tentacles, the other was some kind of morphing, psychic rock thing, but I didn't like either one too much.

Instead, I went back to the basics. I modified the original rough draft from having one main human colony/base, to a small string of them, and the seductive alien creature became a pissed-off woman who did the equivalent of storming away from her base in a flurry, and running out of gas in the high desert.
Being a perfectionist, I always think I can tweak every one of my stories a little bit to make it better. Don't get me wrong, I like the way Outpost 77 turned out, and it reads fairly smoothly, but as stated in my first post, I only edited it once after it was completed, before I submitted it to Literotica. (By contrast, I must have edited my first novel a few hundred times in about twenty years, before I finally said, screw it, let's see what the public thinks about it, and published it as an ebook. Yeah, you could say that I was a little reluctant/shy to show off my writing.)

Maybe I'll revise this story first, before I start posting new versions of my Robles family chronicles, as it's a much shorter project. Well, I've got to get back to my other projects. I'm writing two novels at the same time, one is a paranormal suspense story, and the other is the Robles rewrite, which has passed the original 9 chapters posted here and is now expanding with new content.

 

[latinplayer]

You know how sometimes you read posts about long-time lurkers? Well, that's me. I've got more writing projects than you would believe (over 300 quick inspirations and I think I counted out at least 40 strong ideas for novels), and I usually rotate through them once a year. When I can't flesh out a rough draft, I toss it to the back of the pile, and I don't think about it until the next time it comes up. The only reason I've been able to finish a lot of stuff lately, is because I've been living off my savings for the last year and not working. I gave up trying to get a traditional agent, and started marketing my writing through a digital publisher, and in the last year I've released 11 ebooks. If I only had some money to advertise, maybe I'd be getting somewhere!

 

[latinplayer]

As far as my influences for the Robles family stories;

I found out about this atypical American family (or you could say, typical Hispanic family) a few years back, two parents, five daughters and four sons. They were all crammed into a three bedroom house. I was dating one of the young women at the time, and noticed that two of her sisters were pretty hot, and the other two I definitely would not toss out of bed either. I also observed how the older sisters routinely had guys driving up to their house, or walking over to talk with them whenever I happened by and at all hours of the day and night. (I was especially wary as some of these suitors were from neighborhoods which were rivals to mine.)
Also, at the time the dad was in good shape, and he and two of his sons could sometimes be seen toiling in the yard with their shirts off, and I wondered how a crowded household full of evidently promiscuous young women, and males in much better shape than I was, could keep its family members from noticing members of the opposite sex in a more than casual sense. One of the brothers, in fact, often made remarks about wanting to touch his sisters' breasts.

One of the older sons got married to another beauty, a darker skinned girl with very expensive tastes, and I recall another brother mentioning how he'd hit it if he ever got the chance, and even if she was married to his older brother. No bros before hos here.

Anyway, that was my inspiration for the first 9 chapters of the Robles chronicles, and I've posted all of them on Literotica in the past.

More recently, I've gone back to that neighborhood and visited that same family. A few of the sons and daughters still live there, and the ones that moved out visit frequently enough for me to have seen most of the family. I observed that most of the daughters had long since lost their shapes to either childbirth or over-consumption of food and alcohol, and that on top of that, they'd lost a lot of the sweetness and beauty that attracted me to them in the first place.

I decided to preserve the idea of youthfulness and erotic adventurousness of the group from the first stories, but to replace the characters with updated versions of models which had caught my eye on the internet. Also, I wanted to spice things up further regarding the details and motivations in the first stories, and to further distance myself from the cold and formulaic stories that I mentioned in the opening post.
Hopefully, as I begin to release the revised versions of my erotic stories, the reader will agree that they are a considerably improvement over the original ones.

 

[sr71plt]

Could you put an extra line feed between your paragraphs, LP? Trying to read a solid wall of prose on a computer screen is murder. Thanks so much.

 

[latinplayer]

Revised Chapter 1 has been posted!

An updated and reedited chapter one has been posted for The Misadventures Of The Robles Family. It was uploaded in .doc form, so it should take a day or two for the moderators to approve it. In the meantime, attached is a picture of the model for the new heroine to keep you from getting bored.

 

[latinplayer]

New story submission: Cynthia's Many Lovers

Having recently completed a ghost story horror novel, I do what I normally do and started thinking up short stories related to my project. While I was reading The Mammoth Book Of Haunted Houses, I came upon one of the section headings; Phantom Lovers - Sex and the Supernatural. While the stories included in this category were bland and for the most part vague, and they weren't anywhere near what is found on Literotica, the heading alone was enough to inspire me into writing a short story.

The result was a story titled Cynthia's Many Lovers. I've written a tame version, which I've already submitted and is in the review process, and I will be submitting a wild version in the next day or two, or as soon as I figure out what direction I want to take the interaction between my ghost and my non-ghost.

I had two female protagonists in mind while I wrote this piece, first, Tawnee Stone and later, Dawson Miller. Here are a couple of links to some of their galleries, as some of the pics were too big to load here:

Tawnee

Dawson

Both models smile a lot in their pictures, are/were the approximate age of my female character, and both have big, juicy butts, although Tawnee's photos are tinted a little pale, while Dawson's are a more natural color. My question to you is, which of the two young women do you find better looking?

Anyway, be sure to check out my ghost story once it is approved, or read my other erotic stories under my pen name of Latinplayer, and leave a comment!

 

[latinplayer]

Wild version of Cynthia's Lovers has been submitted.

Sooner or later, I'll start getting some comments on this thread. *I hope.*

As I'm still on an erotic ghost kick, I've finished up a second ghost story, and am about halfway through with writing a third one. I usually let the stories sit (fester?) a few days, weeks, or even months, before I do a final revision, but since these are fairly short, I'll probably have them posted in a few days' time.

The story 'Cynthia's Many Lovers' was originally written in a tame manner, as I'm planning to submit it to some online magazine somewhere down the line, but I thought I could spice it up a little and make it more worthy of this website. So, I've already posted the original version, and have just submitted the Wild version, in the hopes that someone might read both and give me an honest comparison of the two. The new one should be available to read in a day or two.

The toughest part of the story was in referring to the ghost as a 'he', as I'm so used to calling a ghost an 'it' in my other horror fiction, and I keep catching myself writing the wrong word when I'm speed-typing. Anyway, I hope I've taken care of all the typos, and I look forward to hearing your remarks on the story.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Welcome to the AH, LP. Sorry you're not getting more feedback and critiques, but the reason why more people aren't responding to this thread is probably because the board generally doesn't take kindly to attempts at self-promotion. Everyone here is looking for reads and feedback, but hawking one's stuff smacks of selfishness and egomania and is usually politely ignored. There's a special thread for advertising your work and inviting comments ("New Story Advertisements"). The rest of the Author's Hangout is a promotion-free zone reserved for for more general discussions of writing or whatever we feel like talking about.

The best way of getting attention is by giving it. Participate in the AH and give to others and they'll give back to you. And if you're really aching for some feedback, you might try signing up at the Story Discussion Circle board, where you can get a story critiqued by first critiquing others.

Once in a while someone will come up with an idea that's too good not to share and they'll start a thread about it here, but speaking for myself, I have to say that I don't see much in the descriptions of your work above that would send me scurrying to read your stuff, or that would even distinguish it from thousands of other stories here. I also get very wary when authors start touting pictures of their heroines. I certainly understand the impulse behind it, but it suggests that an author's powers of description aren't good enough to make a character come to life, so he or she has to fall back on pictures.

And as for the number of hits you're getting-- We all get numbers like that. But all a hit means is that someone clicked on your story. It doesn't mean they finished it, or even read past the first sentence. I forget the typical ratio of comments to hits, but it's something like 1-2/1000. Less than that is a sign of reader indifference.

I don't mean to lean on you, but one more tip: put a link to your stories in your Lit signature. Literotica author searches don't work, and the only way anyone on this board is going to find your stories is if you give them a link.

 

[SamScribble]

I agree with the previous speaker. But good luck.

 

[latinplayer]

I also get very wary when authors start touting pictures of their heroines. I certainly understand the impulse behind it, but it suggests that an author's powers of description aren't good enough to make a character come to life, so he or she has to fall back on pictures.

Thank you for taking the time to read my posts. Your comments are much appreciated, and pretty much exactly what I needed, since I am a newbie to the forum area and I don't know the ins and outs of it yet.

The only part I disagree with is the portion above. Different writers have different writing styles, and one of my writing exercises is to take an an object, or a place, or a picture, and form a story around it. I've written two novels after getting inspiration from a video game character, and another novel after contemplating a very luxurious residence, known as the White House in Banning, California, near where I used to live. I've also taken mundane objects, one time even using a pencil as a starting point, and written short poems or flash fiction in this way. If that's not using my imagination, I don't know what is.

Visuals are very important to my writing style. I've sketched out floor plans, clothing, vehicles, people, and through a sort of concentrated association, added characteristics to these concepts and breathed life into them. I've also seen commonplace pictures or videos, including pictures of men and women, which immediately make me visualize a situation in a fantasy, horror or science fiction scenario.

I can see what you're saying though. Taking one of my above mentioned models, Tawnee Stone, for example, someone might assume that I have such a fixation on her, that I've written her into a story where I have sex with her. This was not the case however.

I merely read one of the headings in the book I'm currently reading, The Mammoth Book of Haunted Houses. The section is titled, Phantom Lovers: Sex and the Supernatural. Just by reading those six words, my brain clicked, and I had a rough draft instantly in my mind, which eventually became a 10 page story, and later a more racy 16 page story. The male protagonist could be an extension of myself, I knew, but who was going to be my heroine? Another click went off in my head, and I visualized Tawnee Stone, who is usually seen as pretty, but not beautiful, and who has a nice, curvy body, but not of the kind usually associated with Hollywood starlets, for example.

So, in about five seconds, I had the biggest portions of a story floating around in my head, and all I had to do was to sew everything together.

The reason I first posted this thread in the AH is because I wanted critical feedback from serious authors, and not the casual reader who'll say something stupid like 'you should have made your characters have anal sex' or 'sleeping with a daughter-in-law is not incest', or some such subjective drivel. One person commented that my story sucked because I was a Latino.

I really don't like to be offhandedly categorized as an amateur hack, because I put a lot of effort into my writing, and I try to bring something unique to the table, especially to a site such as Lit. where the usual formula is 'oral sex, regular sex, anal sex' or basically the same formula used in mainstream porn.

I feel that a seasoned writer would be able to point out my strengths and weaknesses to a much finer degree, and see the art in my stories, where a casual reader wants to see anal sex three or four paragraphs in.

I would welcome a critique of one of my stories by someone of your expertise, such as the following: Cynthia's Many Lovers.

Anyway, thanks for the comments. I will certainly take them under advisement.

By the way, leaning on me works. Yeah, I get pissed off at first, but then I go back and scrutinize what the message actually said. One of the things I hate most is bland or vague comments, such as 'I didn't like your story because it was too long'. What the hell am I supposed to learn, style wise, from a comment like that?

 

[lovecraft68]

Thank you for taking the time to read my posts. Your comments are much appreciated, and pretty much exactly what I needed, since I am a newbie to the forum area and I don't know the ins and outs of it yet.

The only part I disagree with is the portion above. Different writers have different writing styles, and one of my writing exercises is to take an an object, or a place, or a picture, and form a story around it. I've written two novels after getting inspiration from a video game character, and another novel after contemplating a very luxurious residence, known as the White House in Banning, California, near where I used to live. I've also taken mundane objects, one time even using a pencil as a starting point, and written short poems or flash fiction in this way. If that's not using my imagination, I don't know what is.

Visuals are very important to my writing style. I've sketched out floor plans, clothing, vehicles, people, and through a sort of concentrated association, added characteristics to these concepts and breathed life into them. I've also seen commonplace pictures or videos, including pictures of men and women, which immediately make me visualize a situation in a fantasy, horror or science fiction scenario.

I can see what you're saying though. Taking one of my above mentioned models, Tawnee Stone, for example, someone might assume that I have such a fixation on her, that I've written her into a story where I have sex with her. This was not the case however.

I merely read one of the headings in the book I'm currently reading, The Mammoth Book of Haunted Houses. The section is titled, Phantom Lovers: Sex and the Supernatural. Just by reading those six words, my brain clicked, and I had a rough draft instantly in my mind, which eventually became a 10 page story, and later a more racy 16 page story. The male protagonist could be an extension of myself, I knew, but who was going to be my heroine? Another click went off in my head, and I visualized Tawnee Stone, who is usually seen as pretty, but not beautiful, and who has a nice, curvy body, but not of the kind usually associated with Hollywood starlets, for example.

So, in about five seconds, I had the biggest portions of a story floating around in my head, and all I had to do was to sew everything together.

The reason I first posted this thread in the AH is because I wanted critical feedback from serious authors, and not the casual reader who'll say something stupid like 'you should have made your characters have anal sex' or 'sleeping with a daughter-in-law is not incest', or some such subjective drivel. One person commented that my story sucked because I was a Latino.

I really don't like to be offhandedly categorized as an amateur hack, because I put a lot of effort into my writing, and I try to bring something unique to the table, especially to a site such as Lit. where the usual formula is 'oral sex, regular sex, anal sex' or basically the same formula used in mainstream porn.

I feel that a seasoned writer would be able to point out my strengths and weaknesses to a much finer degree, and see the art in my stories, where a casual reader wants to see anal sex three or four paragraphs in.

I would welcome a critique of one of my stories by someone of your expertise, such as the following: Cynthia's Many Lovers.

Anyway, thanks for the comments. I will certainly take them under advisement.

By the way, leaning on me works. Yeah, I get pissed off at first, but then I go back and scrutinize what the message actually said. One of the things I hate most is bland or vague comments, such as 'I didn't like your story because it was too long'. What the hell am I supposed to learn, style wise, from a comment like that?

I am starting a series that features 12 characters 6 men/ 6 women. They each have a description that I of course have given them.

What I have done, in order to keep my own visuals in place is find people on the net that I think resemble my description. There is a site called Model Mayhem, where I found several good ones.

I won't post these, they are for my own use. I put them on a vision board and looking at them helps me visualize what I am writing. When I wrote my last series there were only 2 main characters and I didn't bother but with this many, this helps to keep them straight as some are not as major in the story as others.

Like you said, we all have different approaches.

 

[SydneyBlake]

I do what Lovecraft does. I'm a visually inspired person, so doing this sometimes helps in many ways. But I don't share the pics, either, because it would be presumptuous of me to assume that my readers would have the same tastes as I have. What if they hate the celebrity I chose?

And I agree with the good Doctor's comments above. Your long-winded delvings into your characters and stories here just make me skip to the next post. Sorry. When you want to discuss the Latin perspective, tho, let me know.

 

[lovecraft68]

I do what Lovecraft does. I'm a visually inspired person, so doing this sometimes helps in many ways. But I don't share the pics, either, because it would be presumptuous of me to assume that my readers would have the same tastes as I have. What if they hate the celebrity I chose?

And I agree with the good Doctor's comments above. Your long-winded delvings into your characters and stories here just make me skip to the next post. Sorry. When you want to discuss the Latin perspective, tho, let me know.

I ran into that with my Broken cover. Many people thought Megan was dead on, but I got mixed reviews on Mark. Couldn't find the perfect pretty bad boy