Lasting Power

[UncleTom555]

Question that's probably been covered, re-covered, and even re-covered after that, but oh well.

After seeing many porn vids and reading many erotic stories (thank you Lit), I am wondering what I could do to last longer. As I have stated on other threads, I usually can only last a couple strokes and it's over. Hate being the "5-minute guy" that is the stereotypical American male (read the studies. Average American male lasts only 5 minutes.).

No help needed in the foreplay area (at least that's what my girlfriend says ). Any help though, would just be very appreciated.

 

[sheath]

Question that's probably been covered, re-covered, and even re-covered after that, but oh well.

After seeing many porn vids and reading many erotic stories (thank you Lit), I am wondering what I could do to last longer. As I have stated on other threads, I usually can only last a couple strokes and it's over. Hate being the "5-minute guy" that is the stereotypical American male (read the studies. Average American male lasts only 5 minutes.).

No help needed in the foreplay area (at least that's what my girlfriend says ). Any help though, would just be very appreciated.

Have you, perchance, looked into Tantra? You can do a search for it on google and come up with dozens of informative sites. A former lover of mine was VERY adept at the teaching of Tantra, and the man could go forever. It was almost ridiculous. But...not quite ridiculous enough to be a BAD thing.

S.

 

[herecomestherain]

Random thought collection for the evening...

Can I just check the first premise. Is 5 minutes not enough? For whom? You've brought her to climax with your mouth and hands once or twice and now you're on the home stretch...just asking, because if five minutes comes at the end of an extended play session, maybe it's enough?

It all happens too quickly for your liking? Or her liking or both?

A thicker condom, for the desensitising factor? I know virtually nothing about condoms so can't really speak from vast experience.

Masturbate earlier in the day to relieve the pressure so to speak.

Slow down a little and do less of the things that drive you over the edge.

Think of something unsexy or objectionable when you feel like you're losing control. My SO said thinking about pine trees used to do it for him (cool things down that is) don't ask why it's a very complicated story...

Practice playing with your lover and getting highly aroused and then stopping, cooling off and starting again.

Beware of watching porn vids for information/education. I won't insult your intelligence but as you well know porn vids and many stories here on Lit are fantasy, pure and simple, everyone lasts as long as they need, everyone gets all the foreplay and all the orgasms they need...that's the beauty of fantasy.

Below is a link to a helpful article that be useful to you, about halfway through there is discussion on lasting longer and the nature of male orgasm. The reference library of other articles is excellent. Highly recommend a browse. Good luck.
http://www.sexuality.org/l/sex/dsmansex.html

Oh at the above link there are articles on Tantra that you may find interesting.

 

[strgzr1230]

Try Pleasure balm by Kama Sutra... Sold online or in sex shops. Mildly desesitizing with a cool minty flavor and warming effect. Great for when you want to extend the fun a bit!

 

[Bobmi357]

I'd just like to add that unless your partner is comfortable in the position you have her in, lasting more than 5 minutes may become painful for her.

The sex you see in porn videos is carefully edited to make it appear a lot longer than it truly is. What they don't show is the hour long break while they switch positions and give people a breather, nor the other numerous breaks.

I remember one interview with a porn star where she mentioned in her recent movie that an average sex scene took her 8 hours to film!!! I seriously doubt he was rock hard for all of those 8 hours, or pumping her for that time.

 

[UncleTom555]

Wow, so many responses. Where to begin?

1st, I have searched Google for Tantra and I mostly get the whole religious thing. Not the sexual Tantra stuff.

2nd, the "5 mins ain't enough" thing, is kinda mutual. It's great and all that she orgasms extremely easy, takes only 5 minutes at most for her, but we would also like to enjoy the actual fucking part of sex, instead of only getting the oral parts.

3rd Wouldn't know bout the condom deal. Never used em, mutual thing. We generally only have sex when she is expecting her period to start within a day or two and I do use the pull out method. Yes, I know that some still gets inside due to precum, but big deal. Also, we both lost our virginity to each other, so no worries bout STD's.

4th, we usually do the whole BJ before lunch, sex after lunch, thing. Helps a bit, but as I stated in another topic, I was left with hightened sensitivity after being circumcised as a child. (You may want to argue this point, but I have researched it quite extensively.) Still, I barely get it all the way in when I already have to let loose.

I understand about the whole porn movie production. I've seen/read the interviews about a lot of the videos being a few hours or days edited to look like one scene or repeating a segment of a scene over and over so it looks longer. I was mostly just using it as an example. I wouldn't want to last for more than a half hour, probably not even more than 15 or 20 minutes. But I was wondering what could get me to the 15 or 20 minute mark. With careful reading of the stories, you'll see that most of them are not necessarily unreasonable. They portay simultaneous orgasms, which are possible. Had one. They generally portray guys who have about 3 or 4 orgasms in a day max, possible. Done it. Women who orgasm 10 or 20 times in a hour or two. Possible, got my girlfriend quite close to 15 or 20 many times.

bobmi357, our favored position is with her on top, so comfort is no issue.

Hope this response explains a few viewpoints without seeming to insult anyone. People say I have a tendency to do that.

 

[SummerMorning]

Y'know - this is quite funny - I tend to have the opposite problem - I need very specific and intense stimulation to orgasm. So I only have an orgasm when I want to during sex - actually I have to work quite hard for about a minute or two to get there . Which means I can in fact keep going for an hour or so (running and cycling helps as well), but of course the problem is if I keep things up too long I'm usually too worn out to even orgasm at the end of the whole thing

The result is also that I've never had an orgasm because of a blowjob or handjob. Really rather interesting.

But to prolong the whole thing - one easy item would actually be a condom. Try it sometime.

 

[herecomestherain]

Here is the link to the Tantra info you may have been looking for.

http://www.sexuality.org/tantra.html

Again I won't insult your intelligence, and please don't be offended but the big ol' momma in me has just got to say be prepared for parenthood. It does happen and it's a truly wonderful thing if that's what you are hoping for. OKay I'm down off the soapbox now.

 

[Sybarist]

hightened sensitivity after being circumcised as a child.

And here I always thought that males who were 'quick on the draw' simply have poor impulse control...

Do some reading, some practice, some experimenting, and RELAX!! Worrying about it only makes it worse anyway. Instead of worrying about how long you can last (which has to be something you think about a lot to ask about it here IMO!) just concentrate on how good it is while it lasts. Why are guys always so caught up in how long they can last anyway??? Most women enjoy the time it takes to get to penetration more than the actual fucking part anyway... Okay, not always, but usually.. LOL!

Do you masturbate? If so, then you should be able to tell when you are about to climax and stop for a few moments until the sensation goes away. (kind of like the half-hour break in a porn movie! ) Then continue on as before until it happens again...

The reason I ask is the only guy I knew who had really, really quick ejaculations did not touch himself and had some issues with sexuality from childhood, he also had anger problems and poor self control in many other areas...

As a last resort, many anti-anxiety medications cause supressed climax as a side effect. Shitty for women, but a bonus for men!! One could always pretend one was having mild anxiety attacks or something (not to belittle real sufferers, of which I am one anyway!) and get some 'beneficial' medicinal help.

Syb.

 

[UncleTom555]

Sybarist, firstly, I have been masturbating for about 10 years now. Let's just say Basic Instinct was what started it all.
Secondly, I have a thing about not using medications that may have side effects. I only use basic over the counter meds, such as Ibuprofen or Tylenol. Just want to play it as safe as I can. Plus, I've tried stuff like Penecillin (Wisdom Teeth surgery), and I couldn't take the stuff. Was just too horrible tasting.

To herecomestherain, we actually don't want kids. We have discussed it and it was more a mutual thing. I don't want them because they tie you down. Can't be spontaneous anymore once you have kids. She doesn't want them because they are a hassle (she would know. She is the middle child of 5 and her two sisters have already had kids.). We were actually planning on looking into a permanent solution such as vasectomy or one of the alternatives to the hysterectomy once we can save up some money. But again, I know that the "pull out" method can lead to pregnancy. That's why we only have sex when we know she will start her period within 2 or 3 days. This week, we had sex yesterday, but she started her period today. No problems.

I've also tried the whole "know when you are close and stop all stimulation" thing, but for guys it's extremely hard to do that as just the mere feeling of the vagina wrapped around your penis is enough stimulation to set a lot of us off, at least it's that way for me.

Thank you all for the information and viewpoints. I'll look into Tantra and see if that helps. It's nice to see that I can get serious responses and in a timely manner here.

 

[midwestyankee]

One factor that makes a difference in this matter is practice. Literally. If you are having sex only when your partner is in her perceived "safe" time, then your sex life is probably somewhat sporadic. If this is the case, then you may want to think seriously about finding a way to have intercourse more regularly throughout the month.

Just my 2 or 3 cents worth.

 

[Zergplex]

Zergplex Says

Sybarist, firstly, I have been masturbating for about 10 years now. Let's just say Basic Instinct was what started it all.
Secondly, I have a thing about not using medications that may have side effects. I only use basic over the counter meds, such as Ibuprofen or Tylenol. Just want to play it as safe as I can. Plus, I've tried stuff like Penecillin (Wisdom Teeth surgery), and I couldn't take the stuff. Was just too horrible tasting.

To herecomestherain, we actually don't want kids. We have discussed it and it was more a mutual thing. I don't want them because they tie you down. Can't be spontaneous anymore once you have kids. She doesn't want them because they are a hassle (she would know. She is the middle child of 5 and her two sisters have already had kids.). We were actually planning on looking into a permanent solution such as vasectomy or one of the alternatives to the hysterectomy once we can save up some money. But again, I know that the "pull out" method can lead to pregnancy. That's why we only have sex when we know she will start her period within 2 or 3 days. This week, we had sex yesterday, but she started her period today. No problems.

I've also tried the whole "know when you are close and stop all stimulation" thing, but for guys it's extremely hard to do that as just the mere feeling of the vagina wrapped around your penis is enough stimulation to set a lot of us off, at least it's that way for me.

Thank you all for the information and viewpoints. I'll look into Tantra and see if that helps. It's nice to see that I can get serious responses and in a timely manner here.

Well I'm gonna respond to two points in this. The first is that when you feel close you should stop doesn't work as well in the vagina. You need to stop a good 30 seconds before you would when masterbating to not come, but it can still work and is a viable way to try and last longer, at least until you take a look into tantric sex/other options.

The second is that you should be aware that having sex before her period doesn't preclude the chances of having children. Not at all, I have a friend who can tell you that even if your doing it during her perod there is a chance. Medical books will tell you exactly the same thing. It does lessen the chances though which continues the myth that there is no danger. Not preaching about it, it's your choice, but just wanted to clear up that point. Why not get birth control? Then you have sex when you want, and still no condoms if thats what you want.

^_^ looks like you got some good responces already so I'll head off.

-Zergplex

 

[Blindinthedark]

Added to the other advice:

Wait 10 minutes and start again.

 

[UncleTom555]

Zergplex, The whole "get birth control so you can do it all you want" idea is just as bad as the "pull out" method. My girlfriends mom got pregnant while she was on the pill.

Again, like the responses. I think midwestyankee might be right. If we were to have sex more often, it would get me more accustomed to the feelings and it should also lessen the sensitivity enough to make me last longer. Not extremely longer, but enough.

Thanks again.

 

[naptowntic317]

Don't tighten the sphinter muscle. It sounds funny, but it's true. When you're having sex, concentrate on that muscle, and make it relax. It takes practice, but practice makes perfect, right, and I'll tell ya, doing it with your girlfriend/wife/whatever is a lot better than wind sprints and tire drills. You'll like doing it. Then, when you can control that muscle yourself, you can get off whenever you want. I can go for hours, too, but unlike the guy above, I can get off with head and hand jobs, too. It's great.

 

[sultresweetie]

No offense, but you seem to be full of excuses when it comes people offering advice. So here is my 2 bits!
For real, try jerking off ten times a day-it sounds like you need to get to know your dick.
As for the birth control thing...something is better than nothing. If you knew any female that became pregnant on the pill-then she was skipping, or this was in 1970. The pill is so retro any way, I really don't know any girl that uses it anymore. I use the nuvaring . You insert it for 3 weeks and take it out for a week. Between this and the patch, even the laziest female can manage. I know you really don't care, because you seem like you got it all figured out, but when (not if) your girlfriend gets preggers with the rhythm/pull out method, she will have a lot more to think about than your short-comings (pun intended). You two seem to think it would be easy to fix with an abortion I presume, since you have discussed permanent sterilization methods, but even the most resolved woman has psychological reprocussions-it's physically and emotionally damaging to go thru such an invasive procedure.

But hey, feel free to dismiss this post, because it sounds like you got it all figured out!