last post he choked me tonight

[NoJo]

Just please be careful.

Yes, people can change, but in 99% of the cases, if a man puts his hands on you in anger once, he'll do it again. I know this, I've lived it.

I'll go further: How can you possibly endanger your child in this way? It strikes me as either very cowardly or very naive of you to take him back. In any case you have a responsibility to protect your kid. I think you need to get some self-respect, urgently.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I wish you'd re-read your own very first post in this thread and then get the... out of there before he can do the same thing again, and I really, REALLY don't believe he will change just because he suddenly behaves a little differently - most abusers will cry and swear to whatever god they believe in that they'll change and never raise a hand against their loved ones again - only to break that promise the next time they get angry.

You love him, and you want to believe that he has changed or will change. Love isn't always enough. It wasn't enough the first time, or he would never have tried to choke the woman he loved.

I hope against all odds things will turn out OK for you, but I am very worried about the safety of you and your children. You're risking all of your lives. For what?

BUT,

I also know that there is no point in telling you what to do, because if you don't already feel this way, then you're certainly not gonna start just because I write this - in worst case, you might even get mad at me. I won't address this thread again. Just wanted to make a last attempt...

 

[ABSTRUSE]

There is a psychology behind why women don't always leave, there are numerous reasons and she is not really at fault. Hard too understand if you've never been there I know.
We don't tell dogs who are beaten..."Hey Fido, I think you better go someplace else."
We rescue abused animals.

 

[NoJo]

I blame Tammy Wynette

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I blame Tammy Wynette

She was abused too.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Sweetheart, I am so glad that you and your children are safe.

if that man needs someone to TELL him that IT'S NOT OK to resort to violence with you, or anyone, he clearly never learned this growing up, and may not have really absorbed that lesson now. Please, please, please make sure you make contingency plans for what to do if his violent tendencies take over again. You must have a plan or you'll find yourself exactly where you were a couple days ago again.

 

[rgraham666]

that he gets his act together and becomes a better man

That's the problem. He thinks he is a better man. As fine as they come.

So he doesn't need to change.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I am most happy to learn that your daughter is safely back in your arms.

I understand your desire to maintain your family intact, but caution you not to rely entirely upon your own perceptions.

Since you have contacted a domestic violence counsellor and have documented your injuries, make use of her guidance and counselling. Do not allow yourself to be in his power again, until both you and she are satisfied that his repentance is, in fact, genuine.

In case it is not, and a more formal separation is required, I want to reiterate Og’s valuable advice. Simply the mention of your participation on a “porn site” would be sufficient to poison your chances in any future custody fight.

I am not quite certain what I am advising. Does he know about your participation? Perhaps participation under a different nom would be sufficient, perhaps other might have a better idea. I just wish to point out what is a valuable precaution, of which you should be aware.

 

[CharleyH]

and shoved me and kicked me, and he took my little girl.
I had yelled at him.
well let me back up

i asked him tonight for an apology , for the ugly things he called me last night and the insults he threw at me.
he got mad that i brought up our argument and the fact that he was wrong. But i proved he was wrong, he and i both knew it and i felt i deserved an apology for being called crazy and stupid,
he left in a huff as usual when i dare sat something he doesn't like, and called me to tell me put his work things on the porch. I lost it tonight as 2 1/2 years of his threats and emotional blacmail piled up and I drove 10 miles to yell at him. And I did , i yelled at him for everything he has put me through these 2 years in about a 30 second stream , i said i was done, tired, and it was over, he needed to come get the rest of his things, i tried to leave at this point , but he followed me, choked me and took our daugter. He followed me home and we argued more, and when i tried to take my daughter who is 1 out of her car seat to calm her down he started to choke me and drag me away from her again. Then he tried to get my son out of the back seat of my car. and i didnt let him , i backed up creaming the door , and got inside with my son , to call my father. then he took off , i dont know where my daughter is , i dont even know if ill see her, but then again he is so in love with his damn computer game, he will be back to get this, so this is why i say goodbye. and cloudy, if you're out there , you were right , i should have run when i had the chance
i love you all
Nymphy

You are an interesting woman, never forget that. I still have my theories on personal posts, but if you write? You must be up to knowing that you can you can have your daughter as well? You have mucho to take to court.

 

[Liar]

That's the problem. He thinks he is a better man. As fine as they come.

So he doesn't need to change.

Or rather, twice. First he needs to change his mind about that.

Not saying it's plausible. Just saying.

 

[Wildcard Ky]

Glad to hear that things have taken a turn for the better. Be true to your kids and yourself. Let that thought guide you down the rest of this path.

 

[SeaCat]

Nymphy,

You want to get back together with him. Okay, I can live with that. (It's your life not mine.) Follow your counselors advice, but keep in mind they do like to keep the status Quo. Your mate has raised his hand against you, shit happens, once. Let him know you will not tolerate this again. If he ever raises his hand against you after this take the fuck off. Get the hell out and don't look back.

Love is not pain or saying you're sorry. Love is not wondering if you'll get beaten tonight because he had a bad day in work. Love is not being a slave involuntarily. Most of all, love is not being afraid.

If he ever raises his hand against you again send him our way. You have had several offers of physical assistance from people who seem to mean it. If you question it though, come down to my place. My wife and I will take you and your kids in, and protect you, no strings attached. (Hell I won't even make you try my hot sauce.) If that happens and he shows up, well the Gators do need to eat too, and I know a couple of skinny ones.

I'm hoping that my help isn't needed but just remember there is a redneck here in southern Florida willing to help. (okay so I have a beer gut, {Six Pack Abs, mainly Budweiser) and my hair is finally growing out, but I haven't forgotten my old lifestyle.)

Cat

 

[woodnymph_O]

who could ask for more?

the love and concern are overwhelming and give me hope. and the ones who say I'm wrong, are showing me and mine love also, and i don't fault you in the slightest. thanks
seacat, you're getting me teary eyed again lol , thanks for the offer hon , and i can tell you meant it. I'm doing ok right now, but things are going so well because I am sticking to my guns, years ago i was in something similar, and I know , I can NEVER relax my guard. Because the minute you do , it starts again. The minute you give than inch a controller turns it into a mile, and permission to do the same again. You are helping me to be strong all of you. And as long as I know I'm not alone, no one can convince me that I deserve less than anyone else. Because I have back-up to say whoa there thats not right and don't you believe it.

Now to the promise I was told to make by a cousillor (too tired to spell check)

I promise you as well as I have promised my family and friends here. I will not hide from you what happens, I will tell the truth and not be his champion. And I will tell the truth about how I feel , to him , my family , and you my friends, and not be afraid.
I have been informed and know this to be true, that the real danger comes when we hide what they do enabling them to do more.

Feeling ok , a little tired , but all is ok for the moment. And not lost in a fog, I know what I'm facing, and the chances are slim for a future. But still a chance is there. If the second time does not come, once it does , there is no use in endangering myself , beacuse that is all it will be.
to the ones who worry about lit. He does know about the site , but not my name, and my av has been changed etc, I may find it nessisary later to clear all old info and go with a new name. but I'll find a way to let yall know that too , but remember , even people who work in the poro industry as actors have been given custody of their children , and as long as I do not let my kids have access to this site, I am not in the wrong. This I have researched just to make myself and all of you feel better about that.and if he reads my posts what he will know is that I will not lie for him , and I am telling you all what happened. And if he objects BOO HOO
you are my friends and worthwhile loving peope, and what's more I HAVE THE RIGHT.
but that is why i haven't detailed the plan. that i wont allow to be read.
and so I am safe.(in the lit sense) and have made sure I am safe in other ways. I will let all of you know that even if its just by seeing I posted a comment Thats a promise too.
going to try to read abit and take a nap , since i have the chance

Nymphy

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Atta girl

 

[NoJo]

You know, the fact that you're posting after all that's happened means you're gonna be okay.

There are some smart and experienced women posting here. We should all be thankful for them being around!

 

[lil_elvis]

Inspiring. Keep true to yourself, nymphy.

 

[woodnymph_O]

sometimes

i picture us all in a warm summer field
lying back under an old apple tree
telling our storys
and sharing
our love
our laughter
our pain
and our sorrow
the cold keyboard disappers
and the screen becomes a window
to see into your lives
and sometimes
a door
providing a way out of mine

my crappy poetry , but stil its what came to mind when I thought of you all this morning .

 

[NoJo]

I've had that dream too, more than once. This ain't a typical bulletin board. The people here are experienced in love life and death.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I've had that dream too, more than once. This ain't a typical bulletin board. The people here are experienced in love life and death.

Amen brother.

 

[TheEarl]

You keep doing what you're doing and be strong.

The Earl

 

[English Lady]

nymphy - keep strong love! You're doing great!

 

[rgraham666]

Adding my $0.02 worth of support.

 

[yui]

I wish you peace and a safe harbor, Nymphy.

Be safe and be well.

Much luck,

Yui

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

the love and concern are overwhelming and give me hope. and the ones who say I'm wrong, are showing me and mine love also, and i don't fault you in the slightest. thanks
seacat, you're getting me teary eyed again lol , thanks for the offer hon , and i can tell you meant it. I'm doing ok right now, but things are going so well because I am sticking to my guns, years ago i was in something similar, and I know , I can NEVER relax my guard. Because the minute you do , it starts again. The minute you give than inch a controller turns it into a mile, and permission to do the same again. You are helping me to be strong all of you. And as long as I know I'm not alone, no one can convince me that I deserve less than anyone else. Because I have back-up to say whoa there thats not right and don't you believe it.

Now to the promise I was told to make by a cousillor (too tired to spell check)

I promise you as well as I have promised my family and friends here. I will not hide from you what happens, I will tell the truth and not be his champion. And I will tell the truth about how I feel , to him , my family , and you my friends, and not be afraid.
I have been informed and know this to be true, that the real danger comes when we hide what they do enabling them to do more.

Feeling ok , a little tired , but all is ok for the moment. And not lost in a fog, I know what I'm facing, and the chances are slim for a future. But still a chance is there. If the second time does not come, once it does , there is no use in endangering myself , beacuse that is all it will be.
to the ones who worry about lit. He does know about the site , but not my name, and my av has been changed etc, I may find it nessisary later to clear all old info and go with a new name. but I'll find a way to let yall know that too , but remember , even people who work in the poro industry as actors have been given custody of their children , and as long as I do not let my kids have access to this site, I am not in the wrong. This I have researched just to make myself and all of you feel better about that.and if he reads my posts what he will know is that I will not lie for him , and I am telling you all what happened. And if he objects BOO HOO
you are my friends and worthwhile loving peope, and what's more I HAVE THE RIGHT.
but that is why i haven't detailed the plan. that i wont allow to be read.
and so I am safe.(in the lit sense) and have made sure I am safe in other ways. I will let all of you know that even if its just by seeing I posted a comment Thats a promise too.
going to try to read abit and take a nap , since i have the chance

Nymphy

Just remember Nymph, my offer of homicide still stands and I am more than willing to set up a posse to get into the nitty gritty of why you do not do that under any circumstances and why that (should be) game over.

Be careful, a man willing to choke his wife and kidnap a kid can easily and without regret do so again and a man so comfortable in lying will see no problem inlying to you and to the councelor. Be careful, be smart, and if need be contact me and I will burn the midnight oil to see him bleed.

 

[Xelebes]

I'm using an assassin's dagger myself.

Dude, use a katana. Like seriously.