Last name change?

[BustyTheClown]

I chose other. First of all, I don't want to feel like I'm telling you what to do, lol. I don't think it should be mandatory for the woman to take the man's name or the man to take the woman's name, and it isn't. Like pretty much everyone else has said, it's up to you. Personally, I'll take my man's name -- the reason is kind of sad (boo hoo, not pathetic). I just don't want to be associated with the characteristics and people who share my last name now. It's too bad, but that's life.

 

[Zephan]

My main concern is the difficulty of changing all of my paperwork. Has anyone that has gone through the changing of names and all the paperwork that goes with it like to tell me about it?

Zephan, you're wicked.

Well, proposing to engaged women is a hobby really. I find the rejection is good for my sometimes overblown Ego.

 

[ksmybuttons]

My main concern is the difficulty of changing all of my paperwork. Has anyone that has gone through the changing of names and all the paperwork that goes with it like to tell me about it?

Zephan, you're wicked.

I chose other because it is a personal choice. I chose to change mine to my husband's.

Changing the paperwork at the time of marriage isn't really that much of a hassle. Make a list and check it out...

 

[lilminx]

I never liked the idea of a woman changing her name just because she gets married- many people feel that their name is part of their identity.

Growing up in a family where my mom was on her third marriage and my stepdad was on his second, I had many step and half siblings. We all had different last names. It never really made a difference, or made anyone feel like they were less included in our family. I think it's bullshit when people say, "You are a family unit- you should all have the SAME last name".

Of course, to each his/her own, and you have to do what makes you feel comfortable.

 

[SpaceToast]

then again...

My two cents?

You love him. You want to keep loving him. You both know it's not always going to be easy, and you both know that being together is going to change you both over time.

I think the original point of the name change was moving from your father's home to your husband's. Maybe the natural order of things is that women grow up "married" to their fathers, in a sense, and then remarry -- hopefully for good, and for the good of both partners.

I'd suggest changing it. It's not the last committment either of you will have to make. It's not the biggest committment you'll have to make. But it makes a nice symbol.


(Of course, in Japan, it's not terribly unusual for a man to take his wife's name, especially if she's of a higher social class. So, if you're from the Newton and he's from Southie, maybe I'm on the wrong track....)

Many congrats-

-M@

 

[Texan]

just a thought

If you plan to have children (or have them unplanned) who's last name will the children take? I would assume they will take the father's last name. If YOUR children have your husband's last name, but you have a different last name, that is very common, but you will appear to be the step-parent of YOUR OWN children.

There is nothing wrong with being a step-parent.... I am one. However, I would think that you would not want people to automatically assume your own children are your step-children...

just something to think about....