Ladies, your opinions please

[skygazer]

Ladies, your opinions please...Share your best opening lines

Hello ladies, I started a thread a few days ago, where I made it known that I am looking for cybersex. One women posted, telling me that she thought I was being to direct, and felt that this may be the reason that I wasn't getting many replys.
If you refer to my No Takers thread you'll see that I was not in total agreement with her opinion, even though I do respect it. So...I decided to take an opinion poll. Given this is a website devoted to sexual matters and topics, it is my contention that I should ask for what I want, no beating around the bush, no dinner, no movie, just say it. Ladies, I'm interested in hearing your comments, ideas and opinions about this. Lend me your kind indulgence and tell me If you think I'm right or if I am as she put it....clueless

 

[Eilan]

I started to type out a response to your other thread, but I think I'll post here instead. Jenny's response in that thread is more accurate than you want to admit.

I've been lurking at Lit since 2001. My husband and I have also had a profile at AdultFriendFinder. The direct approach, as in "Want to fuck/cyber/cam/exchange pics?" doesn't go over well with a lot of ladies. Even though a woman might be here looking for a partner (whether RL or cyber) the fact is, she might also want to develop a connection with someone before she jumps into the cyber-sack--or RL sack, for that matter--with him/her.

I've said it before, but the problem that a lot of men at "adult" sites have is they assume that the ladies are part of an all-you-can-fuck-buffet. I've seen guys complain, "I've been here for two weeks and I haven't gotten *insert sexual activity here* yet. What's the matter with you, ladies?"

Yeah, this is an adult site. Yeah, the people here are more open-minded about sex than the average person, but that doesn't mean that we're all here to fuck anyone who's willing to whip out his dick for us. If you want NSA sex, you might as well hire a hooker, because while you might find NSA sex here, the chances are pretty slim that you will. You need to have realistic expectations.

Also keep in mind that on a board like this, horny men looking for some type of release are a dime a dozen, so unless you make yourself stand out from the crowd, you're gonna get overlooked. The people who suggested that you start posting on other threads and making yourself known are spot-on. A lot of women think it's creepy to get PM's from guys who have few posts; those ladies will be less likely to respond to your ads as well.

But, again this is just my opinion, which I've formed through observing the dynamics of this place. I'm aware that other people have had different experiences. You might get lucky and get some takers.

Hope you find whatever it is you're looking for.

 

[skygazer]

But don't you think that because of the sexual nature of this site, that some women might feel patronized or even insulted by someone trying to misrepresent their intentions. I can understand that some of you may like a little more than the proverbial cyber wambamthankyoumaam sort of encounter. But buy the same token, most of us live to far apart to ever consider a face to face meeting and it makes me feel dishonest to even hint that such a thing might occur. One of the things that I like about the women on this site, aside from their openness is their intelligence. Please dont think that because were " talking dirty" that I dont know how smart you are. And please don't make me try to bullshit my way into your cyber bedroom. Let's just enjoy ourselves without all the headgames and try not to take our fantasies to seriously. Afterall cyber is just adult play acting... Thank you Eilan for your reply. I do hear what you are saying. So ladies what do the rest of you think?

 

[skygazer]

Nobody Else ???

Wow, I thought there might be at least a few more opinions about this. Come on ladies, tell me what you really think

 

[AboutFace]

Even over the net - I want to be "romanced" a bit. I want to be pursued, and sweet-talked..... believe me - it works. Hell - I fell for it hook, line, and sinker just recently.
The direct approach just doesn't work with most women. We are looking for a "bit more".

 

[MagicaPractica]

No matter where or how, you have to have an opening line that makes me want to talk to you. We're never going to meet but I want to have a good time. A story is boring if all it contains is a description of the sex act. So too, you have to set the scene a little. I've had guys compliment me on my stories, my poetry, a particular post I wrote. Even in cybersex, foreplay is important.

Kitty: "Foreplay is important."
Red (shaking his head): "No it isn't."
Kitty: "Yes... it is."

 

[skygazer]

I both understand and respect that. You should know that once a potential partner contacts me, I do all of those things, because I also enjoy that too Sometimes we'll talk 3 or 4 times before it gets to erotic conversation. I never try to just jump right into it. But for the sake of avoiding any misunderstandings or hurt feelings after the fact, I feel better about being up front. Would it be better to start a thread with a pretend subject to draw women in and then hit them later with something unexpected...SUPRISE... I'm a pervert...I just don't think that's a good way to go. If someone considers cybersex perverted, I'd rather they see the title of my thread and and decide to move on. If that means nobody ever answers any of my posts, then so be it. At least I can't be accused of being dishonest. So tell me ladies, would you rather that I lie... Thank you aboutface for replying to my thread. So far I've had two opinions that are contrary to mine....Anybody else care to chime in ??? come on ladies this is an opportunity to tell all us guys how you feel. When I get a larger concensus, I'll post a thread with the results so all the men will know how to conduct themselves in the future

 

[skygazer]

Okay MagicaPractica, Someone like yourself who's a writer might be just the person I need to talk to. Perhaps a title with a little more flair, slightly more prolific..... I'm open to any and all suggestions that are honest. Feel free to hit me with your best shot. If you are not comfortable posting here then buy all means PM me. I'd love to hear your ideas.

 

[MagicaPractica]

I both understand and respect that. You should know that once a potential partner contacts me, I do all of those things, because I also enjoy that too Sometimes we'll talk 3 or 4 times before it gets to erotic conversation. I never try to just jump right into it. But for the sake of avoiding any misunderstandings or hurt feelings after the fact, I feel better about being up front. Would it be better to start a thread with a pretend subject to draw women in and then hit them later with something unexpected...SUPRISE... I'm a pervert...I just don't think that's a good way to go. If someone considers cybersex perverted, I'd rather they see the title of my thread and and decide to move on. If that means nobody ever answers any of my posts, then so be it. At least I can't be accused of being dishonest. So tell me ladies, would you rather that I lie... Thank you aboutface for replying to my thread. So far I've had two opinions that are contrary to mine....Anybody else care to chime in ??? come on ladies this is an opportunity to tell all us guys how you feel. When I get a larger concensus, I'll post a thread with the results so all the men will know how to conduct themselves in the future

I'll try to take this point by point.

1. I think anyone here assumes that if you pm them it could lead to cybersex so there's no need to really state that up front.
2. I don't think there are a lot of people here who think cybersex is perverted, they might not be interested at the moment or not here for that but you've got to get rid of that thinking.
3. Stop being such a lazy ass and try contacting the women instead of sitting back and waiting for them to come to you.
4. If you take a moment to find something out about someone and strike up a conversation about that (by reading a few posts, reading a story, click on somebody's AV and see what they post about) then you'll have something to strike up a conversation about. Would you walk up to a girl in a bar and say "Hi, wanna go have sex?" No, and yet we don't call it lying.

What it boils down to is, if you want to meet someone online, look for a common interest/experience/interesting thought just like you would in real life.

 

[Feelfreetotouch]

Wait, just sitting here staring at the screen doesn't get me any closer to losing my virginity.

Ahhh Shit. I've wasted a month.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Wait, just sitting here staring at the screen doesn't get me any closer to losing my virginity.

Ahhh Shit. I've wasted a month.

Not if you learned something, did ya? If not, there might be a few threads you should check out yet. The pictures are very instructional.

 

[Feelfreetotouch]

My pictures didn't help me at all.

 

[MagicaPractica]

My pictures didn't help me at all.

How odd. They helped me a lot. Thanks. Blowing you a

 

[skygazer]

Hmmmm, ladies and gentleman welcome to our new thread...I think we'll call it cyberdate 101...lol Thank you MagicaPractica for all of your good suggestions. Some of which have been tried. I still would be interested however, to hear some suggestions for good thread titles. Why don't we throw this one to everybody out there...Got a good opening line? Lay it on me. It can be funny, silly, serious, suggestive, or disgusting... Anything goes This should be FUN.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Anything goes This should be FUN.[/QUOTE]


Did you answer your own question? Hint hint.

 

[_honey_]

Heyhey,

Know I'm new but thought I'd chime in anyway. Considered going onto the sexual roleplay board? Most people on there will be looking for cyber, so if you started a story there and asked for PM replies it should be more effective.

xx

 

[lil_squirter]

Hmmmm, ladies and gentleman welcome to our new thread...I think we'll call it cyberdate 101...lol Thank you MagicaPractica for all of your good suggestions. Some of which have been tried. I still would be interested however, to hear some suggestions for good thread titles. Why don't we throw this one to everybody out there...Got a good opening line? Lay it on me. It can be funny, silly, serious, suggestive, or disgusting... Anything goes This should be FUN.

Perhaps if you found a thread that had things you were interested in... If perhaps you PM's one of those ladies with a good opening line and expressed a sincere interest in getting to know that person how ever well there would be much more reciprocal messages.

I try to respond to every first message I get even if it is only to say that I appreciate their kind words/greeting what have you but I am simply not able to provide what they are looking for. I think this is a common attitude here, most people are will to at least give you the time of day if approached with respect and courtesy.

Treat the women here the same as you would treat a flesh and blood woman in front of you. I don't think you would hang a sign around your neck at a club/bar/hang out that says "Please call me for a good time!" So why do so here? Select the women with similar tastes, approach them with a complement and start a dialogue. It might not be instant cyber/phone/whatever but it is a far better chance of leading to something then dropping a line into already over fished waters.

My nickels worth of two cents.
Squirt.

 

[skygazer]

Thank you Honey and Lil squirter, these are all good suggestions as a prelude to a long term relationship where the person on the other end is eventually going to want to meet face to face. I am interested only in online encounters and have no wish to actually meet the people with whom I am chatting... Your suggestions while being very good advice for dating in the real world, will cause the women I chat with to think that I am interested in real life meetings, dating, and relationships.... I invite you to check out my profile. In there I have stated in no uncertain language that I am a married man, and have no interest in personal meetings. The absolute worst thing that can happen in my eyes is for someone to misunderstand this thereby forming an emotional attachment and ultimately being hurt. It would be AWFUL if that were to happen. What I hear you all saying is that it is not possible for women to have erotic conversations without becoming emotionally involved...Is this true?....This is becoming a lot more complicated than I would have ever believed. So ladies let me hear from some more of you. Can women have erotic/ intimate conversations without emotional involvement???

 

[pleaz_me]

.....

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Alright, I'll stand up on my pedestal and insert my opinion here now *curtsies*

I do not want to open my PM box and find 100 little messages saying "Wow, I like your av" or "Wanna cyber?" I don't want to sign into yahoo every day and have pop-up messages about how someone needs satisfying. I've even had one guy pull a guilt-trip on me... he said HI... I said I really preferred not to talk at the moment because I was having an extremely bad day... he said "but I am too... I haven't had sex in XXX days." WOW did I feel bad.... NOT! I don't want to feel like every time I talk with someone that it HAS to be about sex.

Right on, Girl. I DO get about 15 or 20 PMs like that EVERY DAMN DAY. You wanna know how many get a response? ZERO.

Look, I don't really think that Lit or any other forum on the internet is all that different from the real world. Would you walk up to some woman on the street and ask for a FUCK? Won't work in real life won't work here either.

People are cybering 24/7 on Lit. Not because they put some bullshit ad in the personals, but because they wandered around and got known, made friends and hooked up.

Now start over from the ground floor and try it again.

 

[pleaz_me]

.....

 

[lil_squirter]

Thank you Honey and Lil squirter, these are all good suggestions as a prelude to a long term relationship where the person on the other end is eventually going to want to meet face to face. I am interested only in online encounters and have no wish to actually meet the people with whom I am chatting... Your suggestions while being very good advice for dating in the real world, will cause the women I chat with to think that I am interested in real life meetings, dating, and relationships.... I invite you to check out my profile. In there I have stated in no uncertain language that I am a married man, and have no interest in personal meetings. The absolute worst thing that can happen in my eyes is for someone to misunderstand this thereby forming an emotional attachment and ultimately being hurt. It would be AWFUL if that were to happen. What I hear you all saying is that it is not possible for women to have erotic conversations without becoming emotionally involved...Is this true?....This is becoming a lot more complicated than I would have ever believed. So ladies let me hear from some more of you. Can women have erotic/ intimate conversations without emotional involvement???

You have completely missed my point. I mean women need that sort of attention for any sexual encounter. Yes by all means be frank and up front about the specifics of what you want/need for your situation. There are many women in the same situation with the same desires I am sure...

What confuses me is your seeming lack of respect for the women you want to cyberbang here. You are treating them as if they don't deserve the same common polite civility anyone else does and that's not going to make any woman want you. Unless they are into that of course.

No one is saying you have to do the old meet and greet and date them, but yes you do have to seduce them a bit. Women and men are such different creatures that way. And please do not take offense to this but perhaps if this is such a hard thing for you to grasp this might be the root of your displeasure with your sexual home life. Unless you treat that differently then your approach has been here.

Numerous women are telling you the same thing and you get pushing it aside looking for the proverbial golden ticket to get in the cyber panties. Well there isn't one, no matter how hot the av, how nice the voice, you must seduce the mind and the body can not help but fall in line. So treat these women as you would someone you were seeking the pleasure of being with, because you are asking them to share themselves.

If that is something you are unwilling or incapable of doing then there are plenty of pay services willing to accommodate your needs. I wish you the best of luck in this and the best of pleasure whatever your future choice may be.

 

[spunkmeister]

Great thread.

Gotta give this guy his dues. He just wants a quick release and is taking it to the next level asking his possible cyber partners of the future advice on how to get into their virtual panties.

Lol

 

[pleaz_me]

.....

 

[spunkmeister]

Just wanted to add... hats off to ya for calling us *Ladies* instead of *girls*... you have noooooooooo idea how annoying it is to be addressed as a girl

Thanks for the tip babes. sugarplum fairygirl.