Ladies: Serious Question for Girlfriends/Wives

[AthleticOne]

A little history first….I’ve come to realize over the past several years that my own satisfaction during sex is less of a priority. I am becoming more and more consumed with satisfying my partner rather than myself. So much so, that all I wanted to do was lick and suck on her pussy. No matter how many orgasms she had, I couldn’t seem to stop. I love to play with her with toys (Vibrators, Dildos, etc) and especially love watching while she masturbates with large toys. I’m beginning to think I’m a major submissive. I don’t like being “sissified” or anything like that. But I seem to really love being dominated sexually, but not outside of the bedroom. I’ve experimented in the past with hard spankings with paddles and I really loved it. I’m not into the being cucked with another man thing, but for some odd reason, the thought of my girlfriend being fucked by a big cock really turns me on. I guess it’s the thought of her being satisfied that gets me going. I think I would really enjoy if she teased me with some stories of being fucked will we are having sex, but never actually strayed. Maybe even making me believe that’s what she really wants to do.

I am currently single and have been for awhile. I have just been too busy to date. I am a decently attractive guy, I am very well built and have a big dick, so I really won’t have a problem dating. So here’s where I need some input: I have been reading through these stories of dominant wives and masturbating to them almost daily. I was thinking of buying a Cock Cage type Chastity Device and putting it on immediately, to prevent me from even masturbating. I plan on mailing all of the keys to a mailbox I have out of state to prevent me from giving in when I’m weak and horny. After some length of time, I would like to begin dating again. I would search for a girl who seems to be a little controlling. After we have dated for a while I would tell her about my cock cage and tell her I was saving myself for her. I would confess my fantasies and if she’s interested, I would go get the keys and give them to her. I would tell her that she’s in absolute control of my cock. I would want her to have me please her in any and every way should could imagine. I would love nothing more than for her to tease me beyond toleration, then after her having multiple orgasms, totally deny me. I want to make it all about HER! Is this just the stuff of fantasies or are there girls that would really like this? As a girl, would this be a turn-on for you, or totally turn you off? Please let me know what you think or how I should approach this.

 

[AthleticOne]

Sorry it's so long. Any input?

 

[LadyVer]

Well, as a vanilla, it sounds like too much work..But you seem to have a good attitude. just sayin...

 

[AthleticOne]

Well, I definitely don't want it to be too much work for HER...

 

[LadyVer]

Well, I definitely don't want it to be too much work for HER...

lol That's what I meant. But maybe for the right woman it wouldn't be. You will probably get more feedback on your thread. Sometimes it takes a while.

 

[deTourvel]

My opinion is that you need to look for a kind, strong woman, not a controlling one. A good dom is not necessarily controlling outside the bedroom.

This isn't my cup of tea but I'm sure there are women out there who would love to be the one to open your cage and let you out.

 

[Scrubber]

I am not into that sort of thing so I personally would find it weird.

However, the first thing that would probably cross my mind if someone broached that subject with me would be "Your cock has been in a cage for some time. How do you manage to clean it properly whilst in there?" Then I would make my excuses and leave.

 

[peachesmelba]

I am not into that sort of thing so I personally would find it weird.

However, the first thing that would probably cross my mind if someone broached that subject with me would be "Your cock has been in a cage for some time. How do you manage to clean it properly whilst in there?" Then I would make my excuses and leave.

LMAO! That was EXACTLY my first thought and concern too! As hot as it sounds in practice I would keep the keys handy so you can wash properly - DAILY - at least once.....just sayin if you're wearing it ALL the time there are hygiene and sanitation concerns - or wait till you MEET the girl and go together to buy the cage....

 

[talikat]

LMAO! That was EXACTLY my first thought and concern too! As hot as it sounds in practice I would keep the keys handy so you can wash properly - DAILY - at least once.....just sayin if you're wearing it ALL the time there are hygiene and sanitation concerns - or wait till you MEET the girl and go together to buy the cage....

^^^^^ THIS!!

 

[Aphro]

Honesty, right? I'm not sure your age, or if this is something the young girls are into, but for ME, I'd be walking quickly the other way. Cock cage to me just sounds goofy.

 

[bailadora]

I am a decently attractive guy, I am very well built and have a big dick, so I really won’t have a problem dating.

Maybe it's just me, but that statement just reads wrong. This might come as a surprise to you, but not all women are size queens. Women (dominant or not) who are searching for quality, long term relationships look for more than what's on the surface. Good looks might get you an invitation to the table, as it were, but other factors such as compatibility in terms of personality, values, long term goals, etc are going to determine whether or not you're going to get to stay there. In other words, lead with your personality instead of your dick.

A little history first <snip>: I am becoming more and more consumed.... , So much so, that all I wanted...., No matter how many orgasms she had, I couldn’t seem to stop...., I love to..., I don’t like..., etc, etc, etc.

While being cognizant of your sexual likes and dislikes is a good thing, this reads like a laundry list of what YOU want. That doesn't sound like someone who wants to make it all about their potential partner. You should AT LEAST be as equally interested (if not more so) in what SHE likes and how SHE wants to be served.

So here’s where I need some input: <snip> Is this just the stuff of fantasies or are there girls that would really like this? As a girl, would this be a turn-on for you, or totally turn you off? Please let me know what you think or how I should approach this.

First - there is no handbook for dominant women. While one woman may totally kink on orgasm control/denial, it might be a total turn off for another. It really depends upon the individual. Second - you have got to learn how to separate fantasy from reality. Before jumping in with both feet into anything - research, read, ask questions and learn. Your chastity scenario might sound hot in your mind but what about the day to day realities of being locked up 24/7 and not having access to keys? Besides the obvious hygiene issue, what if you developed lesions from device chafing? What if you had to fly? Do you really want to go through airport security and have to detail your kinks to whomever is on duty? It doesn't sound to me like you've taken the time to think through the realities of long term chastity. If this is something you really want to pursue further for your own enjoyment, I suggest you start here.

Last - if you're truly interested in meeting like minded people in terms of your kinks, I'd suggest seeing if there is a local munch. While there are always going to be some asshats around, it's been my experience that most people are generally helpful and eager to share what knowledge they have. Good luck.

 

[Eilan]

I am a decently attractive guy, I am very well built and have a big dick, so I really won’t have a problem dating.

And humble. You forgot humble.

 

[Aphro]

Anyone seen that SNL skit with Justin Timberlake? You know the one..."Dick in a Box"?

For some reason now I can't get that song out of my head.

 

[skytowner]

the thought of my girlfriend being fucked by a big cock really turns me on. I guess it’s the thought of her being satisfied that gets me going

I am very well built and have a big dick

Is it just me or are these conflicting messages/statements?

I detect a troll...maybe not a full on Troll but perhaps Troll-lite?

 

[bailadora]

Is it just me or are these conflicting messages/statements?

I detect a troll...maybe not a full on Troll but perhaps Troll-lite?

In my effort to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, I missed that. Those two statements *do* seem incongruous.

 

[AthleticOne]

LMAO! That was EXACTLY my first thought and concern too! As hot as it sounds in practice I would keep the keys handy so you can wash properly - DAILY - at least once.....just sayin if you're wearing it ALL the time there are hygiene and sanitation concerns - or wait till you MEET the girl and go together to buy the cage....

Very good point.

 

[AthleticOne]

Maybe it's just me, but that statement just reads wrong. This might come as a surprise to you, but not all women are size queens. Women (dominant or not) who are searching for quality, long term relationships look for more than what's on the surface. Good looks might get you an invitation to the table, as it were, but other factors such as compatibility in terms of personality, values, long term goals, etc are going to determine whether or not you're going to get to stay there. In other words, lead with your personality instead of your dick..

I totally understand. I had alot of things going through my mind when I made this post. One of which was possible negative replies. I was jsut trying to point out that my being single currently was a choice and that I did have options.

While being cognizant of your sexual likes and dislikes is a good thing, this reads like a laundry list of what YOU want. That doesn't sound like someone who wants to make it all about their potential partner. You should AT LEAST be as equally interested (if not more so) in what SHE likes and how SHE wants to be served.

I sincerely do want to know what my partner wants and truly do just want to please her. That's the turn-on of this for me. I am just laying out what's in my mind to get this valuable input to help in the future. I don't want to throw this in her lap and overwhelm her. That's why I'm asking. I really appreciate all of the input. This is very helpful

 

[AthleticOne]

And humble. You forgot humble.

lol... I know it sounds pretty arrogant huh.. I'm really not that way. It's just really hard to make a point on a board without details.

 

[AthleticOne]

Is it just me or are these conflicting messages/statements?

I detect a troll...maybe not a full on Troll but perhaps Troll-lite?

I should have said by a "bigger cock"

 

[AthleticOne]

Honesty, right? I'm not sure your age, or if this is something the young girls are into, but for ME, I'd be walking quickly the other way. Cock cage to me just sounds goofy.

It does sound goofy. I agree. That's the problem with fantasies though. They sound great in your head, until you actually say them out loud. It still doesn't change the fact that it's a HUGE turn-on for me, even though it sounds really goofy.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

maybe a little exploration together before you decide to cage yourself so she knows it's something you're doing together. I think it would be awful if you met the right girl.. and then she questioned your original intention..
Like.. what would you say..
"I was staring at these other naked women on the internet.. and reading porn stories and stuff.. so I caged my pecker and went on a search.. and found you.."

As opposed to .. one night over a drink ..

"babe.. I've had this secret fantasy.. and I've never been able to share it with anyone. I know we haven't really done too much yet; but how do you feel about me caging myself so that, when you're ready.. "

 

[njlauren]

One suggestion I would have is to not try so hard with the dominance angle (unless you meet someone who you already know is dominant, perhaps via a dating site like alt.com or some such), but rather concentrate on finding someone compatible and showing what you offer. Belladora is right, dominant women aren't like the characterization in some of the stories you read (well, at least many of them aren't), and they want someone they care about, cares about them, and is a companion, especially when you are talking about doing this only in the bedroom. I think it is nice you think you like to serve the woman you are with, give her pleasure, but she may well love giving you pleasure, too, sometimes, and may find you are overbearing. The thing about dominant/submissive relationships is that the submissive lets the dominant lead, so to speak, and if she feels like she wants to pleasure you more then you her, that is her call.

Reading your post I sense you are very excited and eager about your discovery, and that is good, but you also can't let it take over, either. It is so eager to want to explore, find your bliss,your fantasies, that it can become all about you unintentionally (been there myself, so speaking from experience).

Likewise I appreciate the thought of the chastity device, but that is something I think that will scare more then a few women of any type, dominant or not, it is coming on strong, it is going quite frankly to make many of them wonder about you.

I think you need to find someone you think could be interested in being dominant, go through the dating and such, show them consideration and kindess and such as if they are your domme, and then let it evolve, talking about fantasies introducing new things, but do it after you have a relationship. I think if you woo the person first, get to know them as a person, build a relationship, you will find the rest will work easier.

You could put a personal on alt.com or collarme.com or the like, but I suspect you will find that a rough road, for a number of reasons.

 

[AthleticOne]

maybe a little exploration together before you decide to cage yourself so she knows it's something you're doing together. I think it would be awful if you met the right girl.. and then she questioned your original intention..
Like.. what would you say..
"I was staring at these other naked women on the internet.. and reading porn stories and stuff.. so I caged my pecker and went on a search.. and found you.."

lol.. So True. That does sound horrible when you look at it that way.

As opposed to .. one night over a drink ..

"babe.. I've had this secret fantasy.. and I've never been able to share it with anyone. I know we haven't really done too much yet; but how do you feel about me caging myself so that, when you're ready.. "

Definitely more romantic and much more my style. Thank you

 

[AthleticOne]

One suggestion I would have is to not try so hard with the dominance angle (unless you meet someone who you already know is dominant, perhaps via a dating site like alt.com or some such), but rather concentrate on finding someone compatible and showing what you offer. Belladora is right, dominant women aren't like the characterization in some of the stories you read (well, at least many of them aren't), and they want someone they care about, cares about them, and is a companion, especially when you are talking about doing this only in the bedroom. I think it is nice you think you like to serve the woman you are with, give her pleasure, but she may well love giving you pleasure, too, sometimes, and may find you are overbearing. The thing about dominant/submissive relationships is that the submissive lets the dominant lead, so to speak, and if she feels like she wants to pleasure you more then you her, that is her call.

Reading your post I sense you are very excited and eager about your discovery, and that is good, but you also can't let it take over, either. It is so eager to want to explore, find your bliss,your fantasies, that it can become all about you unintentionally (been there myself, so speaking from experience).

Likewise I appreciate the thought of the chastity device, but that is something I think that will scare more then a few women of any type, dominant or not, it is coming on strong, it is going quite frankly to make many of them wonder about you.

I think you need to find someone you think could be interested in being dominant, go through the dating and such, show them consideration and kindess and such as if they are your domme, and then let it evolve, talking about fantasies introducing new things, but do it after you have a relationship. I think if you woo the person first, get to know them as a person, build a relationship, you will find the rest will work easier.

You could put a personal on alt.com or collarme.com or the like, but I suspect you will find that a rough road, for a number of reasons.

Thank you for the thoughtful reply. Much appreciated This whole process of vetting my fantasy on this board has been very helpful. It is evolving, which will make it more probable that it will be fulfilled. Also more realistic for a long term relationship.

 

[AthleticOne]

So as to my general question, As a woman, is a submissive man in the bedroom more of a turn-on or off? Generally, do women like to submit in the bedroom, be more dominant or a comination of both? Is it like 50/50, or are the women who like the man to submit more of a rarity?