ladies i need love advice..

[Guest]

ok ladies i need your help..guys your input is welcome as well. ok, im in a pretty serious relationship, but we all know things can get rocky every now and then. well when things between me and my princess get a bit rocky, it seems she always asks me..'why do you love me?'....i dont think ive given her the answer shes looking for, so what im asking you, is WHAT ANSWER IS SHE LOOKING FOR? thanks ladies..

 

[Vilac]

ok ladies i need your help..guys your input is welcome as well. ok, im in a pretty serious relationship, but we all know things can get rocky every now and then. well when things between me and my princess get a bit rocky, it seems she always asks me..'why do you love me?'....i dont think ive given her the answer shes looking for, so what im asking you, is WHAT ANSWER IS SHE LOOKING FOR? thanks ladies..

What answer is she looking for?


I'd say a truthful one. So..be honest. <shrug>
V~

 

[SexySlut2]

I agree with Vilac, why do you love her? Just tell her the reasons.

 

[Juspar Emvan]

my 2c

1. Figure out if you do love her.

2. If you do, tell her "because you're you".

I always thought listing things wasn't right, if you fall in love, who can list the things? From the way you can feel her when she walks in the room, the way her hair smells, and the way she arouses you, to the little things, like the way she moves the hair behind her ear - just so. If you love her it's just 'because', and even if everything you might list changes, your love probably wouldn't.

 

[Allexus_TN]

Sounds like she could be being a bit hard on herself. That she thinks because you had a fight, she's not worthy of her love. I would guess she's looking for reassurance. Think of the little reasons why you love her, as well as the big ones.

 

[morninggirl5]

It sounds like she's really asking "Why do you stay with me when things aren't going well?" She's seeking reassurance that your love isn't going to change because there's a problem.

I don't think there will ever be an answer that will truly satisfy her, but honesty and consistency will go a long way toward that goal.

 

[Guest]

i am honest...i tell her what i feel. it just seems she wants to hear more.

 

[amelia]

my 2c

1. Figure out if you do love her.

2. If you do, tell her "because you're you".

i was going to say this exact thing..."i love you..b/c you are you..and you are the perfect person for me.." then go into the whole...'you complete me' thing..but in your own words...

 

[Jessie]

Honesty. Complete and total. They can be the crappiest words in the world, but if they're real, that's all that matters.

 

[Private Vasquez]

seems like someone wouldn't ask such a thing, unless they - for whatever reason - felt down on themself. Let her know every single little thing about her that you love. All the little, tiny details...i.e. I love the way you clip your toenails....and things of that nature.

apparently, I have trouble with themself/themselves...still don't know if it's right...

 

[Pamela]

Let her know every single little thing about her that you love. All the little, tiny details...i.e. I love the way you clip your toenails....and things of that nature.

Awww how sweet!

 

[freescorfr]

seems like someone wouldn't ask such a thing, unless they - for whatever reason - felt down on themselves. Let her know every single little thing about her that you love. All the little, tiny details...i.e. I love the way you clip your toenails....and things of that nature.

So everyone says just tell her why you do love her, truthfully, and you can't do better than that.

However, Private Vasquez is right: she sounds down on herself.

Possibly she has real difficulty believing that she can be loved. A lot of people can't imagine that they are loveable for all sorts of reasons. If this is the case whatever you say, she won't be able to hear it, because all the noise inside her is saying, "I'm not worth loving."

If this is so, it is possible to listen not so much to what she is asking of you but to what she is saying about herself - not to the words, but to the person.

Good luck.

 

[amelia]

i've already givin my input..i'm just popping in to say...HI free!

 

[freescorfr]

i've already givin my input..i'm just popping in to say...HI free!

Good morning Amelia. You've had a busy weekend here - very stimulating. I'm glad you're keeping your name and your av for the time being. I'd pair you off with Riff, no bother. You could both come to Europe and set up a free school with me.

 

[amelia]

I'd pair you off with Riff, no bother. You could both come to Europe and set up a free school with me.

that sounds good...but what would we teach?!

 

[freescorfr]

that sounds good...but what would we teach?!

If I were curriculum director, I prefer a content free curriculum. It's not about teaching: it's about learning.

Teachers think they have to teach. It's a myth, nobody teaches: everyone learns.

So you just get a load of kids and let them learn. It's like sex, humans do it naturally.

Your school would succeed because the kids weren't taught anything leaving them 100% free to learn.

 

[amelia]

Your school would succeed because the kids weren't taught anything leaving them 100% free to learn.

wow..a total learner-centered curriculum...that sounds like fun..!

i'm actually a bit burnt out on teaching...i'm quitting in just a few months to go back to school...if i worked at a school like the one you discribed..i might not be burnt out..

it's not the kids i'm tired of..it's all the other stuff...lesson plans, shitty director, backstabbing coworkers and last but not least...the poverty...the poverty sucks the most!

ps..i'm going to bed..good night free..thanks for being friendly and sincere

 

[freescorfr]

Good night amelia, sleep soundly.

 

[jodarby]

Teaching

Hey Amelia,

wow..a total learner-centered curriculum...that sounds like fun..!

i'm actually a bit burnt out on teaching...i'm quitting in just a few months to go back to school...if i worked at a school like the one you discribed..i might not be burnt out..

it's not the kids i'm tired of..it's all the other stuff...lesson plans, shitty director, backstabbing coworkers and last but not least...the poverty...the poverty sucks the most!

ps..i'm going to bed..good night free..thanks for being friendly and sincere

It's too bad so many good teachers in the States gets turned off the profession.

I taught for many years in Japan before returning to Canada to pick up an additional degree and then turn to writing. With so many retirements in teaching now though, it is a good time to become a teacher in Canada. Plus, the pay is so much more than what U.S. teachers get. Perhaps a move to Canada is order, Amelia.

Failing that, what additional education are you planning on getting?

I'm thinking about more training this coming fall. Seems like it is necessary and practical every few years to up your education, don't you think?

 

[BustyTheClown]

However, Private Vasquez is right: she sounds down on herself.

Possibly she has real difficulty believing that she can be loved. A lot of people can't imagine that they are loveable for all sorts of reasons. If this is the case whatever you say, she won't be able to hear it, because all the noise inside her is saying, "I'm not worth loving."

Sometimes I have those moments myself where I wonder "God, how could anyone love me like he says he does? What's so special about me, of all people?" I'm known for being hard on myself. If I ask him to tell me why he loves me, I love to hear about how funny/sensitive/caring/charming I am. Really, he could tell me that I pick my nose in the cutest way he's ever seen and I'd be all giggly again. But if your lady doesn't seem to appreciate some of the smaller or more general reasons, give her specifics that mean a lot to her.

Think of things that she values, or qualities she has that she finds important. If she values being funny, tell her how much she makes you laugh. If she values being kind, tell her how generous and loving she is towards others. I think you get the picture.

I'd worry if this continued at a strong level for an extended amount of time. You know, like if she's *never* satisfied with the reasons you give for loving her, and asks the question rather frequently. If that happens, maybe talk with her about why she asks that, without sounding upset. Just gently bring it up and let her know how much you support her. Tenderness and honesty is the key.

Everyone's given great advice so far -- you should do well to follow it.