Ladies be aware there is another cyberstalker trolling the playground.

[mcopado]

Ladies and gentlemen, this place, Literotica means a heck of a lot to me...I have made some wonderful friends here...I have found it to be a safe place for men and women to be themselves, or someone they wish they were, in a safe, criticism and harrasment free environment...Look at the pic threads, we have women and men, who feel safe and comfortable enough to share their bodies...some of which society would not maybe deem as "attractive."

And it is amazing the support that those people are given...That is the magic of this wonderful place.

Unfortunately at times this safety, and sanctity of this place is threatened...by those people, sadly to say mostly men, who choose to push themselves onto other people.They hijack their threads, or leap for place to place looking for them, heedless to the content or the conversations going there...

Over the last 2 days the emotional safety of a dear friend of mine, a lit guru, has been taken away. To the point that she is considering leaving lit...Which would leave a hole in many of our lives who have come to love her....

Over the last two days a poster going by the names of "alwayshere4u" and/or
"Horny_always" has been doing just that...following this woman around and suddenly appearing wherever she is begging her to answer his pm's....to which she first has ignored, and later asked for help from her friends...finally she has had enough and has told me she is planning to take a break from LIT.

Is it fair I ask, that jerks can come into our place, our threads, and literally our homes, disrepect the women in here, and basically take the fun out of it?.

There are also those subtler forms of harassment that go on here, even when the person has asked nicely to be left alone by them....

I really hope, no pray, that these jerks come to realize that like in the "real world" NO MEANS NO!!!!

I have worked hard in my own life to try to erase some of the stereotypes that have come to dog us men....and yet for every step forward there is some cavemen who kick us ten steps back.

I come to lit to play and have fun, to flirt and perhaps to find love...but I find that in the last two days I have had to become protector to 2 lovely lit ladies...and I'm sick of it....

I think it is time that those of us who love this place, who perhaps think that it is a sacred place start policing oursleves, and start sticking up for each other...If we see it happenning on a thread then take action to shut the person down...to keep him/her from taking control, and from chasing our friends away...

I was thinking that we use this place here in the playground to name names and to figure out what to do to end this harassment....This form of cyber rape...before we lose those dear to us...

I am open for you input as to how to police ourselves....I'm not even sure how to contact a thread moderator when this occurs...there has to be a way to keep this place safe for all people.

I am open to suggestions...

rev michael

 

[asian_princess]

Ladies and gentlemen, this place, Literotica means a heck of a lot to me...I have made some wonderful friends here...I have found it to be a safe place for men and women to be themselves, or someone they wish they were, in a safe, criticism and harrasment free environment...Look at the pic threads, we have women and men, who feel safe and confortable enough to share their bodies...some of which society would not maybe deem as "attractive."

And it is amazing the support that those people are given...That is the magic of this wonderful place.

Unfortunately at times this safety, and sanctity of this place is threatened...by those people, sadly to say mostly men, who choose to push themselves onto other people.The hijack their threads, or leap for place to place looking for them, heedless to the content or the conversations going there...

Over the last 2 days the emotional safety of a dear friend of mine, a lit guru, has been taken away. To the point that she is considering leaving lit...Which would leave a hole in many of our lives who have come to love her....

Over the last two days a poster going by the names of "alwayshere4u" and/or
"Horny_always" has been doing just that...following this woman around and suddenly appearing wherever she is begging her to answer his pm's....to which she first has ignored, and later asked for help from her friends...finally she has had enough and has told me she is planning to take a break from LIT.

Is it fair I ask, that jerks can come into our place, our threads, and literally our homes, disrepect the women in here, and basically take the fun out of it?.

There are also those subtler forms of harassment that go on here, even when the person has asked nicely to be left alone by them....

I really hope, no pray, that these jerks come to realize that like in the "real world" NO MEANS NO!!!!

I have worked hard in my own life to try to erase some of the stereotypes that have come to dog us men....and yet for every step forward there are some cavemen who kick us ten steps back.

I come to lit to play and have fun, to flirt and perhapes to find love...but I find that in the last two days I have had to become protector to 2 lovely lit ladies...and I'm sick of it....

I think it is time that those of us who love this place, who perhaps think that it is a sacred place start policing oursleves, and start sticking up for each other...If we see it happenning on a thread then take action to shut the person down...to keep him/her from taking control, and from chasing our friends away...

I was thinking that we use this place here in the playground to name names and to figure out what to do to end this harassment....This form of cyber rape...before we lose those dear to us...

I am open for you imput as to how to police ourselves....I'm not even sure how to contact a thread moderator when this occurs...there has to be a way to keep this place safe for all people.

I am open to suggestions...

rev michael

SAFE.

That has got to be the underlying ethos to this place.
And the reason that I log on everyday.

Safe...as i interpret it to mean - free from the judgement of my actions and opinions, yes, and also to fully and honestly express my sexuality...and even to explore it...

Lit has become a sanctity for that...it is a Godsend, in a world where we find ourselves having to hide our urges, our desires, our sensuality...and it only exist due to the enormous respect that members have for each other, for this place, and for the right of each Literotican to feel...safe.

It's a fine line, here, between harmless flirting and sexual harrassment...but there's no clearer way to state your feelings than the word "no".

I thank michael for bringing this issue up, it might not be all fun and happy times, we have threads for that but i think we should also be aware and not take for granted why Lit is the way it is...a caring, open, safe...place, it takes the cooperation of everyone for it to be that way.

We have to be vigilant, abuse will not be tolerated.
We have to be supportive, show our fellow members that one dickhead cannot stand up amongst the countless friends.
And we have to be courageous...it's a helluva lot easier to close the thread and turn away when some asshole is abusing up a storm than writing one word against them.

Just remember what's at stake.

 

[Abner Devereaux]

I agree with the both of you . . .


How do we stop it ?

All he has to do is keep changing names . . . e-mail address . . . ect . . .


I for one am going to choose my words wisely . . . no one knows who he is or what he can do. We all need to be careful . . . not just the people that are involved. Just because someone is not being stalked in the open . . . doesn't mean were are all not being watched by soemone.



Be smart . . . Be on the look-out and most of all Be safe !

 

[tastylover]

Pardon if I don't understand board mechanics so well, but are there not tools available to block persons from contacting/approaching yourself? Does blocking users keep them from being able to PM you? If this is not the case, can we petition or seek some form of control on the boards to allow a user to block people they don't want contact with?

On a second level, do not the moderators of lit have the authority to block/ban members whose conduct has advanced to the point of stalking/harrassment? May we grant them this power, and put in place a standard of fairness so that they can act quickly and effectively when needed, to the support of lit members being harrassed?

I am sorry for this assault upon your friend and her sense of well being. I hope she does not have an experience like this again, and hope she returns to once again offer her company and cheer to us, her fellow lit members.

Vigilance, Support, and Courage are all well and good, but having forum code and moderator support will probably add quite a bit of real effectiveness to efforts to stop this from happening.

 

[Cathleen]

It helps very much if the idiot(s) in question are put on ignore. Sometimes it takes a little time but if they continue to get no response they'll move on.

It's happened before and I'm glad Michael you've brought it out into the open, we do need to stick together. I hope the fun will continue for all but the idiots.

 

[WantonWitch]

I agree with the both of you . . .


How do we stop it ?

All he has to do is keep changing names . . . e-mail address . . . ect . . .


I for one am going to choose my words wisely . . . no one knows who he is or what he can do. We all need to be careful . . . not just the people that are involved. Just because someone is not being stalked in the open . . . doesn't mean were are all not being watched by soemone.



Be smart . . . Be on the look-out and most of all Be safe !

It is possible for the mods to block his IP address, so no matter how many times he changes his name he would not be able to log in and post.
The mods of each part of the forum have thier names at the bottom and it should be possible to email/pm them and make them aware of the problem.

Lit is mainly a fun place, just sometimes unfortunately it does seem to attract the odd idiot who thinks because it is a sex forum we should all be gagging to get cyber laid, (referring to both male and female here).

I'm definitely not happy that my friend is thinking of leaving, I enjoy her company and I know a lot of others do too, if she leaves she will be missed by many.

 

[Missingmeds]

It is possible for the mods to block his IP address, so no matter how many times he changes his name he would not be able to log in and post.
The mods of each part of the forum have thier names at the bottom and it should be possible to email/pm them and make them aware of the problem.

Wanton Witch,. I snipped this because I had a conversation about this very thing with one of the mods not to long ago. If he is using a dialup service they can't do that because everytime that he dials up his IP changes. Also if the person being stalked, and yes, that is what is happening, hasn't sent a notice to Laurel, I would suggest that she do so.

If she can get any idea of who he is using for a ISP (Internet Service Provider) she can also report him to them for abuse and stalking. And by all means she should definitely have him on ignore. It might not tell him that she does, but it would afford her a little piece of mind.

 

[WantonWitch]

She's blocked him MM, not sure if she's reported him or not, guy wants castrating to be honest.

 

[sinnamongyrl]

thanks for the heads up!

 

[mcopado]

Morning. evening or whatever...
Just got Pmmend by a moderator with info...I asked him to post the same info on this thread, or give me permission to do it myself...just waiting for permission...
michael

 

[bluespoke]

With reference to possible harrasment there are at least three things your friend could do:

One, put the offending poster(s) on ignore;

or

Two, Click on 'report bad post' which will automatically send a message to the forum moderator(s) (in this case, me) to deal with;

or

Three, PM me and let me know what is happening;


Please bear in mind that Lit has rules (see the bottom of any page) and not threatening other users is one of them.

 

[virgin_not]

The thing is no matter how you blocked those trolls/stalker,they can still keep posting and even if they got ban,they can just make a new account and can start lurking around. *sigh* Some people just got nothing to do with life or they just simply lunatic.

Im glad some people are sensitive enough and have the courage to bust those stalkers in able to support the victim. That dear friend of yours Rev.Mike is a lucky woman having a friend like you.

 

[LostSpirit]

thank you for the information everyone

 

[mcopado]

An Idea

I want to propose a way to try to nudge out a potential stalker, when they arrive…

But since I am naturally verbose, let me begin with a story…It may be true or it may be an urban legend, but hell it works as a teaching story..

A few years back a scuba diver off the coast of Australia was being harassed by a couple of sharks. He may have even been bitten…Suddenly out of nowhere a family of dolphins appeared and began circling him protectively, driving the sharks away and keeping him afloat until he was rescued…

The idea I have is to do the same thing whenever a friend of ours if bothered…First me move onto the thread and begin to talk about the person amongst ourselves. For example “Hey Abner, our friend is Back.” Or “Witchy don’t you think he’d learn??” We let the person know we are there and care about the object our affection… This is the circling part…

If the person doesn’t get the hint then the person being harassed very clearly and in all caps something like.. “(stalkers name) PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE” OR “FUCK OFF (so and so)!”

If the person still doesn’t get it or gets aggressive then we in caps respond “THE LADY CLEARLY ASKED YOU TO LEAVE HER ALONE…IF YOU DON’T GO THEN WE WILL REPORT YOU TO THE MODERATORS.”

We just can’t threaten the jerk…..

If the person stays, and we still feel like playing then we just jump to pmming each other or go to chat somewhere….AND WE THANK HI FOR GIVING US THE REASON TO PARTY ELSWHERE….

So what do you think ladies and gents? Shall we try this?

 

[Jail]

Ok, mcopado, clearly you have gone to great lengths to gather information about this "poster". And, I thank you personally for advising and warning myself and the others on the bb.

I recently went through a similar experience. Although this person wasn't banned from the bb, the possibility of being harassed is still there.

The only problem I see with this is, when this "poster" returns and sees how they have become "noticed" it may only add fuel to their fire. In that, I mean they will continue to become/create any nic they wish. They are attention-seeking.

Just my two cents.

 

[mcopado]

Ok, mcopado, clearly you have gone to great lengths to gather information about this "poster". And, I thank you personally for advising and warning myself and the others on the bb.

I recently went through a similar experience. Although this person wasn't banned from the bb, the possibility of being harassed is still there.

The only problem I see with this is, when this "poster" returns and sees how they have become "noticed" it may only add fuel to their fire. In that, I mean they will continue to become/create any nic they wish. They are attention-seeking.

Just my two cents.

I know, I'm not the least bit sure how to handle it....I really hate that we have to even consider vacating a thread when the "shark" shows up.....

I mean, right in the middle of some sometimes hot fun...bam...
I wish there were a way to "ignore" the person on thread....so we just don't even view his posts when they arrive....

I hate suddenly all of us being together and playing...then we leave and the flow and game is killed....but there has to be something we can do???

 

[Jail]

I know, I'm not the least bit sure how to handle it....I really hate that we have to even consider vacating a thread when the "shark" shows up.....

I mean, right in the middle of some sometimes hot fun...bam...
I wish there were a way to "ignore" the person on thread....so we just don't even view his posts when they arrive....

I hate suddenly all of us being together and playing...then we leave and the flow and game is killed....but there has to be something we can do???

I read back to where Bluespoke states he will review any reported bad posts. Is it within our rights, as the owner(s) of particular threads, to ask the moderator to remove or edit them?

We all know how difficult it can be at times when a "shark" posts in the threads and we have to bite our tongues, to resist replying. It would only add to the drama. I'm sure we all agree, drama is something we don't need added to our already busy and stressful real lives.

I agree with you totally about one person ruining the moment and the fun for others. This has happened to all of us.

 

[Denae]

I know, I'm not the least bit sure how to handle it....I really hate that we have to even consider vacating a thread when the "shark" shows up.....

I mean, right in the middle of some sometimes hot fun...bam...
I wish there were a way to "ignore" the person on thread....so we just don't even view his posts when they arrive....

I hate suddenly all of us being together and playing...then we leave and the flow and game is killed....but there has to be something we can do???

Just jumping in here & I haven't read the whole thread, but I did want to let you know that you can click on the offending poster's profile name and you can put him/her on your ignore list. When that person then posts a reply, all you see is their user name come up and a note that says you have this person on ignore.

You won't see what he/she posts unless you click another button that would allow you to see that individual post.

 

[WantonWitch]

I know, I'm not the least bit sure how to handle it....I really hate that we have to even consider vacating a thread when the "shark" shows up.....

I mean, right in the middle of some sometimes hot fun...bam...
I wish there were a way to "ignore" the person on thread....so we just don't even view his posts when they arrive....

I hate suddenly all of us being together and playing...then we leave and the flow and game is killed....but there has to be something we can do???

There's always the 'QUOTE' button, just jump over thier posts and quote whoever you're talking to/ playing with, along with the ignore button all you get then is the name, no posts.

 

[mcopado]

Thanks Denae for the hint...

Plus we've been testing the underthread use of pmm's to keep playing our games, we can send to multiple people (seperated by a " ;" and use the forward button....so we can keep playing and ignore the shark....we can have a whole world of fun with shrkie even being aware.....

Devious is my middle name

 

[Jail]

Plus we've been testing the underthread use of pmm's to keep playing our games, we can send to multiple people (seperated by a " ;" and use the forward button....so we can keep playing and ignore the shark....we can have a whole world of fun with shrkie even being aware.....

Ok, I hope you're gonna explain that further, cuz right now, I'm lost.

Devious is my middle name

Awesome, someone who thinks like me.

 

[mcopado]

Ok, I hope you're gonna explain that further, cuz right now, I'm lost.

Okay, let's see...
1 shark appears on thread...
2 We dolphin first by joking amongst ouselves, "Hey jail you'd think jerkface would learn? Yadda, yadda." (This way we at least find out if it is the stalker
using a new moniker....I would hate to inadvertantly chase of a newby who just happens to stumble in to one of our threads...It is easier ifthe jerk in question happens to be a regular peron with a pict..Like Oz dude or Ozman (or whatever the hell his name was) was with Asian_princess
3 If the person is persisent we all go to his profile and hit the ignore button, which effectively makes the person invisible on thread.
4 Then we either keep playing pubically on thread or we set up a chain of pm's to each other and using the ability to multiply pm a group of people by seperating each name with a ";" ie Jail ; asian_princess ; virgin_not
Then we can keep playing privately by forwarding and replying to each other..

Or we can make plans to leave, or go to another thread or jump into a chat or something, without the shark being the wiser....

It is fun to think that s/he believes that we've left because of them while we're actually thumbing our noses behind their back

Awesome, someone who thinks like me.

Oh great another like minded and attractive woman on lit...sigh...so many cyber crushes, so little time

 

[Jail]

Okay, let's see...
1 shark appears on thread...
2 We dolphin first by joking amongst ouselves, "Hey jail you'd think jerkface would learn? Yadda, yadda." (This way we at least find out if it is the stalker
using a new moniker....I would hate to inadvertantly chase of a newby who just happens to stumble in to one of our threads...It is easier ifthe jerk in question happens to be a regular peron with a pict..Like Oz dude or Ozman (or whatever the hell his name was) was with Asian_princess
3 If the person is persisent we all go to his profile and hit the ignore button, which effectively makes the person invisible on thread.
4 Then we either keep playing pubically on thread or we set up a chain of pm's to each other and using the ability to multiply pm a group of people by seperating each name with a ";" ie Jail ; asian_princess ; virgin_not
Then we can keep playing privately by forwarding and replying to each other..

Or we can make plans to leave, or go to another thread or jump into a chat or something, without the shark being the wiser....

It is fun to think that s/he believes that we've left because of them while we're actually thumbing our noses behind their back




Oh great another like minded and attractive woman on lit...sigh...so many cyber crushes, so little time

Ok, that makes sense to me now. Thank you for explaining it all.

Thank you for the compliment

 

[mcopado]

Ok, that makes sense to me now. Thank you for explaining it all.

Thank you for the compliment

You're very welcome

Also can we use the buddy list function like an address book?

I'm thinking that, let's say Jail if you are way over playing in your cell and you start to get harassed, and your dolphin buddies are playing elsewhere.

Can you then use the buddy list function to send a bunch of pm's to the newly created "LIT DOLPHIN BRIGADE" (wonder what our slogan should be lol) so we can come and swim around you?

hehe...and do you swim naked? (sorry I sometimes can't help myself )

 

[Jail]

You're very welcome

Also can we use the buddy list function like an address book?

I'm thinking that, let's say Jail if you are way over playing in your cell and you start to get harassed, and your dolphin buddies are playing elsewhere.

Can you then use the buddy list function to send a bunch of pm's to the newly created "LIT DOLPHIN BRIGADE" (wonder what our slogan should be lol) so we can come and swim around you?

Great idea about the buddy list. You definitely have been working hard at this, babes.

hehe...and do you swim naked? (sorry I sometimes can't help myself )

That, amongst other things.