Ladies and masturbation - benefits

[Lonelypaper]

Hey ladies, I am wondering how masturbation can be used to improve your life. My wife is against masturbation and has never really tried it. She also feels tons of guilt when it comes to sex. Just wondering if anyone had anything I could tell her to help her become more comfortable with it and if you know from experience ways it helps you in your sex life, or self confidence or anything if at all applicable.
Any comments appreciated.

 

[emma_the_librarian]

I wish there were magic words that would alleviate issues for her, but if she feels guilt (whatever for? we're designed to do it--all kinds of animals do it too) -unfortunately it's likely her emotional crap that is stopping her. Therapy can be a freeing thing.

But you're seeking suggestions or advice, so...
you can make a sex session just for her, doing all the things to her with your hands and fingers that she could repeat herself at another time..describing it to her while you do it as if it were her hands.. this way she hears from you what 'her hands' are doing..while she's feeling it.

For me, it's a terribly empowering thing..not having to rely on a partner (or even a toy) to bring sexual satisfaction...my orgasms by masturbation are, at this point in my life, as amazing as ones I have with a partner...

best wishes for the two of you...

 

[slightcrazed]

I would agree with what Emma said - therapy can be a good thing.

I think, instead of keying in on masturbation, you should help her with the guilty feelings. Was she from a very conservative upbringing perhaps? Is sex a thing that 'other people do' or is it just that she is ashamed to express any desires that she has?

My wife was also a very shy person, somewhat so sexually as well, but she was able to overcome that. Part of it is about you making her comfortable. Do NOT pressure her. What you can do is to help her relax - massage is wonderful for this - and try to set a mood that is open, not judgmental, and romantic. You need to help her find a place - not a physical place, but an emotional place - where she is free to open up just a little bit. Don't expect too much at first. And always, ALWAYS reassure her that she is entitled to feel good, that it can be about her and that she doesn't have to feel guilty about that.

Not sure if that helps at all. If there are deep issues at work here, I don't think any advice given will help much, but it is worth a shot. Best of luck, man.

 

[Sheana_V]

I knew someone who was really into music, and couldn't masturbate for similar reasons (guilt, fear, anxiety), and when she did she couldn't climax. In fact she was pre-orgasmic for a long time.

This product cured her:
http://shop.ohmibod.com/Boutique-ohMiBod/Music-Vibrators-wireless/freestyle

It allowed her to experience music in a different way, and focus on it as a musical experience. Soon after that she was also able to climax with her partner.

 

[Lonelypaper]

Thanks everyone for your comments, suggestions and inputs. It's greatly appreciated

 

[melly001_uk]

I knew someone who was really into music, and couldn't masturbate for similar reasons (guilt, fear, anxiety), and when she did she couldn't climax. In fact she was pre-orgasmic for a long time.

This product cured her:
http://shop.ohmibod.com/Boutique-ohMiBod/Music-Vibrators-wireless/freestyle

It allowed her to experience music in a different way, and focus on it as a musical experience. Soon after that she was also able to climax with her partner.

mmmmmmm I always love listening to music, when i'm driving


xxxx

 

[Jaime_H]

mmmmmmm I always love listening to music, when i'm driving


xxxx

That conjures up quite an image.....

 

[DanaWild]

I also agree that the main point is the supposed guilt your wife has in relation to sex. Do you know why? If you two didn't actually talk in depth about it, I would suggest trying to "elaborate" deeper about the possible reasons. As the first response says, there is no reason why she should feel guilt when it comes to sexual feelings, pleasure and satisfaction. She should be aware of it-and liberation from within is the only way to really start enjoying in sex, either alone or together. If she doesn't feels comfortable speaking about it with you, maybe she could visit a sex therapyst, as someone suggested. Meanwhile, maybe you could leave her some explicit reading material in hope she will find it interesting and stimulating Something like 50 shades of gray Interestingly enough, just the other day I have stumbled upon a novel on Amazon with very similar name, 50 shades of green, also erotica.