plasticman33
Tight Jeans
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2001
- Posts
- 32,694
These are actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Darn that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary! Details inside! (Shoplifter's daily special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions, use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)
On some Swanson TV dinners: Directions, defrost. (But that's only a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom): Do not turn upside down. (Oooops, to late)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (...and you thought??...)
On the box for a Rowenta steam iron: Do not iron clothes on body! (But wouldn't that save time?)
On Nytol Sleep aid: Warning may cause drowsiness! (Why was I taking this again????)
On Boot's Childrens Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking. (We could reduce a lot of accidents, just by getting all those five year olds off the road.)
Most brands of Xmas lites: For indoor or outdoor use only! (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Somebody help me out here, I'm really curious)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: Warning contains nuts. (What?)
American Airlines packet of peanuts: Open packet, eat nuts. (Step 3......fly United??)
On a childs Superman costume: Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly. (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals! (....was there a lot of this happening somewhere?))
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Darn that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary! Details inside! (Shoplifter's daily special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions, use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)
On some Swanson TV dinners: Directions, defrost. (But that's only a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom): Do not turn upside down. (Oooops, to late)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (...and you thought??...)
On the box for a Rowenta steam iron: Do not iron clothes on body! (But wouldn't that save time?)
On Nytol Sleep aid: Warning may cause drowsiness! (Why was I taking this again????)
On Boot's Childrens Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking. (We could reduce a lot of accidents, just by getting all those five year olds off the road.)
Most brands of Xmas lites: For indoor or outdoor use only! (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Somebody help me out here, I'm really curious)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: Warning contains nuts. (What?)
American Airlines packet of peanuts: Open packet, eat nuts. (Step 3......fly United??)
On a childs Superman costume: Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly. (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals! (....was there a lot of this happening somewhere?))
