Know thyself

[hmmnmm]

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[MagicaPractica]

*shrug* It's a recursive process.

 

[hmmnmm]

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[MagicaPractica]

recursive.

good word.

reprintive?



Sometimes you see an ideal way or self, or even a project, see it clear, but can't see how to get there. Think there must be a way, but where? How? This is known as Life?

Yes...

 

[hmmnmm]

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[only_more_so]

Sometimes I think I've got a good idea but then another day the doubts come afresh. Sometimes it bothers me, other times not.
Maybe it's because we're in constant condition of change so we can never rest comfortable in the knowledge of who we were sure we were just days earlier?
Sometimes I feel I should have more confidence or find it somehow and express it thus, and once in a while a flash of assurance opens doors through which I step, vow to never look back. Then those doors slam shut and the frustrations begin again.
Do you feel you know yourself? Did you always? Doubts? Sometimes? Never?
Or it could just be the weather - overcast, chilly, rainy - could be.
Thanks.
Carry on.

I know myself better than anyone else, but then again most people don't know me at all. For the major things, I think I have a pretty good handle on what makes me be me. But a lot of little things I have no idea about. Like an ex-girlfriend of mine pointed out a lot of quirks such as I would display dominate/aggresive body language around certain people and in certain situations. I was completely unaware that I was changing how I held myself, since it was occuring on a subconscious level.

 

[hmmnmm]

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[MagicaPractica]

The bigger the obstacle, the greater the challenge, the sweeter the arrival if just a few moments? And the more sweat and pain to get to it?

Of course, but life is in the journey, not the attainment.

 

[hmmnmm]

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[MagicaPractica]

The longing for the good old days... attainment implies completion, responsibility, knowledge.
I used to love long journeys without destination.

IMHO, road trips are the best kind of vacation.

 

[hmmnmm]

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[Liar]

I have a picture of who I am. However, I can't be sure if my picture is accurate. Some would say that if the way you see yourself change, you didn't really have the right picture to begin with. But what if it's me that is changing and the way I see myself changes with it?

So do I know myself? Yes. No. Maybe.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Unfettered exploration

Blue Highways ~ William Least Heat Moon

 

[MagicaPractica]

I have a picture of who I am. However, I can't be sure if my picture is accurate. Some would say that if the way you see yourself change, you didn't really have the right picture to begin with. But what if it's me that is changing and the way I see myself changes with it?

So do I know myself? Yes. No. Maybe.

Personally, I believe if you are not changing you are stagnating. An unpleasant and smelly thing.

 

[hmmnmm]

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[Liar]

Personally, I believe if you are not changing you are stagnating. An unpleasant and smelly thing.

"If in the last few years you haven't discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead."

- Gelett Burgess

 

[Chantilyvamp]

I know myself maybe 65% of the time, the other 45% is split between surprise and awe and sometimes jawdropping omg. I change with each passing day, every gust of wind blows me in new directions and new beginnings and I begin to know myself again in a new way.

Question: What have others told you about yourself that took you by surprise?

That I was sexy, confident and strong. Sometimes being told things like that make me sit back and take a new look at myself to see what others see and not what my twisted mind chooses to hang onto.

 

[gauchecritic]

Dynamism.

That doesn't necessarily mean running about, being the life and soul or never resting. It more often means balance. There is dynamism in standing perfectly still. Try it. Seriously. stand still (bare feet is best) and watch your toes working, your calfs and thighs. Stand with your feet together and most of the rest of your body has to join in just to stand still.

Take pictures while you stand still and you can see that you're never in the same posture from moment to moment. You're not the same person from one second to the next.
Life is just like that.

Apply that to ideas. One day you think of a magnificent story idea. Make notes. (we'll make this story 'Loving Wives' for the trolls) A character leads his girlfriend to the idea that it would be immensely satisfying for him to hear stories about the different men she's had. The wife runs out of stories, she tells him this. He suggests that maybe she could find young men in bars and then come home and tell him about her experiences. Wanting only to satisfy her husband's desire she does so. (no need to include the wife's doubts and insecurities we're not going for Literature.) Finish the story with the best orgasm he's ever had, with ropes of cum and shuddering muscles.

Ok, you're half way through the story (edit as you go) and your wife suddenly decides to come clean about the string of lovers she's had throughout your married life. You go through all the stages of mourning over the death of a relationship and suddenly you're not the same man any more.

Can you finish the story? Was it such a good idea in the first place? You're still essentially you.

I cried the other night
I can't even say why
fluorescent flat caffeine lights
its furious balancing

REM

 

[damppanties]

That's a lovely post, gauche. Just wanted to say that.

 

[Chantilyvamp]

That's a lovely post, gauche. Just wanted to say that.

That was wasn't it.

 

[hmmnmm]

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[mismused]

delete

 

[Raine D8]

I remember once reading (when I first started to wonder about things), that within each cell there is a portion (near the nucleus?) where bits of matter are like boats continuously being buffeted by a very stormy sea. Later I read that atoms (which are in everything we see, can see, is in our classical world) are always in motion being constrained only by whatever it is that contains them to make us up. Whatever, we're always moving even when we're not, so gauche's dynamism is factual, at least if my memory serves me correctly.


There was a time when I didn't know anything about myself. Oodles and oodles of self-doubt, no self-esteem, the works, or is it lack of works? Hmm.

Now I know myself very well, however, the core is that I'm what I built, what I created (with lots of unasked for help as happens necessarily with all of us, but not always needed after some beginnings). So now I know that I created me and I'm someone I know not who that is creative. The only real habit my core (creative) self has is to be and to be creative. I know the created me, but not the creator I am. Hmm!

Your post and Gauche's are both intriguing insights in my eyes, put differently, yet interesting and unique.

Personally, I can't imagine a moment (good or bad) when I didn't know myself. I am as certain of that as I'm certain the sun rises. I am adaptable and to this end and I suppose you could say that I know myself every minute of every day, even as I change every minute of every day.

I do question your concept of "core" though. We do come "pre-programmed" with a little of our mother and a little of our father. I look at my sibling, for example, and even if we did not grow up or see that parent often, my sibling still has looks and even gestures and personality attributes of that parent. My sibling is different, yet the core? What is that?

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Knowing yourself does not equal liking yourself, or being a good person. I feel that I know myself fairly well, and yet I hardly like myself most days. I quite often want to put a powerdrill through my head multiple times, and let the gray goo inside ooze out of my skull. It is one of the worst things you could want to do to yourself, and yet here I am having that image multiple times a day.

At the same time, disliking one's self doesn't make them a bad person either. I make a lot of mistakes during my day to day, and I hate the sheer quantity of them, but I still feel that I am a mostly decent person.

We can be so contradictory. I hate that about people. It makes them hard to predict. It makes it hard to predict myself. but I also love that about people. Sometimes the contradictions lead to great things. Sometimes it is just entertaining. Sometimes one person's contradictions bring out the worst in that person, and then everyone around them have to be their best to make up for it. That is one of the better parts of humanity. When one person's wrongs bring out other people's rights, and everything balances out again.

___

I can enjoy a good journey, but I need a destination to start out on that journey. I am not the type of person to go wandering aimlessly out into the distance. There needs to be direction for me to make that first move. Otherwise I wander aimlessly around where I am, back and forth from room to room of whatever building I am in.

 

[CharleyH]

Knowing yourself does not equal liking yourself, or being a good person. I feel that I know myself fairly well, and yet I hardly like myself most days. I quite often want to put a powerdrill through my head multiple times, and let the gray goo inside ooze out of my skull. It is one of the worst things you could want to do to yourself, and yet here I am having that image multiple times a day.

At the same time, disliking one's self doesn't make them a bad person either. I make a lot of mistakes during my day to day, and I hate the sheer quantity of them, but I still feel that I am a mostly decent person.

We can be so contradictory. I hate that about people. It makes them hard to predict. It makes it hard to predict myself. but I also love that about people. Sometimes the contradictions lead to great things. Sometimes it is just entertaining. Sometimes one person's contradictions bring out the worst in that person, and then everyone around them have to be their best to make up for it. That is one of the better parts of humanity. When one person's wrongs bring out other people's rights, and everything balances out again.

___

I can enjoy a good journey, but I need a destination to start out on that journey. I am not the type of person to go wandering aimlessly out into the distance. There needs to be direction for me to make that first move. Otherwise I wander aimlessly around where I am, back and forth from room to room of whatever building I am in.

Sometimes we don't like ourselves, GP. It is part of human nature. However, there is a problem when you want to put a power drill through your head. I am not one to fuss around and pat you on the back and tell you things get better. I am one to tell you to get help, though and I do say that in an empathetic and caring way. Everyone needs someone and no one here can save you.

As for contradictions? My saying has always been: I'm not beyond contradiction and I love that about myself.