kissing

[badcollege_girl]

Need help with new man

If anyone can offer some suggestions that would be great.

I just started dating this guy, and we haven't done much at all yet, we're moving kind of slow. That's fine, but the problem is that he doesn't seem to be that into kissing. He has braces right now (I know, what are we, 12? ) and I'm wondering if he might be uncomfortable using his tongue because of them. That is all I can think of because I have never had problems getting guys to kiss me before... I tried biting on his lower lip a little, or lightly licking his lip to get him to let my tongue in but he just won't! Any help? Since we just started seeing each other, it's sort of weird for me to be like, what the hell is this all about? Plus if he is sensitive about the braces thing, I don't want to embarrass him. Any help? Thanks!

 

[SlickTony]

Have you tried talking to him about it? Sometimes that works.

Otherwise, I might as well warn you, it's not going to get any better. I've been married for almost 25 years, and while I consider that my marriage is fairly good and the sex satisfactory, I don't get nearly as much kissing as I'd like, and if there's anything that would tempt me to have an affair, it's the glut of kisses they always start out with.

 

[badcollege_girl]

Oh GOD. Great. Well thank you anyway.

 

[Stiffy Says...]

could be....

...the braces hurt the inside of his lips? Kissing does tend to end up requiring pressure...just a thoguht.

I agree - talk about it. If you can't - your relationship has no future anyway. (at least no good one)

 

[mello1]

imagine yourself with a mouth full of metal

how about kissing his face, neck etc?

fun and loving also...

 

[SlickTony]

...the braces hurt the inside of his lips? Kissing does tend to end up requiring pressure...just a thoguht.

Yeah, that is a thought...still, you could work out creative ways to get around that.

 

[deerock]

braces?

so, the guy has braces huh?
i have braces on myself, and i think they make kissing a bit of an adventure actually. i mean, how many people out there in my age group (20ish) wear braces? people with braces are hard to come by and kissing does require a new approach. i definately am NOT uncapable of passionate kisses, as passion is not physical, but more emotionally charged. from there, emotions are translated to physical actions. so, yea. .. talk about it with the guy first. he'll appreciate the openness. let us know how it goes

cheers!!

 

[SIC]

I am a guy and i will say that kissing is one of the most important things. Not like all the time but when you have been with someone for along time kissing is love!

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

i once had a bf who had braces and had absolutely NO PROBLEM with kissing, so i would ask myself can i be in a relentionship with no KISSING

 

[Phoenix Stone]

My husband was always great at closed mouth kisses -- hot soft, relaxed, felt. So, I kept waiting for the deep kisses. Turned out first, that he needed to get a deviated septum fixed so he could breath better through his nose, and then, second, he had to learn how!

He's a good kisser now, so just because a guy starts out that way, doesn't mean you will always go kissless. But you do need to talk about it.

 

[SlickTony]

and then, second, he had to learn how!

There are some cultures in which people don't kiss, as weird as that seems--were you dealing with that, too?

 

[Noor]

I have some kissing weirdness. I didn't really kiss much from age 13-23, which means I had lovers that I never kissed. Didn't really seem to make much of a difference.

During high school my best friend did my kissing for me and that seemed to work out fine

These days it takes me a little while to get into kissing, deep passionate kissing happens when I feel it.

One of the reasons I didn't kiss was that kissing felt very insincere to me, kissing is a very intimate act and I save it for people who I am very deeply involved with.

 

[ReadyOne]

...

During high school my best friend did my kissing for me and that seemed to work out fine

...

How wild were you?!!!

And what did it take to get a surrogate kisser to work for you? And how did the kissie feel about n-ways?

 

[ChromeCollar]

I think kissing is so important in a relationship. For me, it really kindles the fire that moves below. A good kiss will send a terrific electric shock straight to my groin and get me wet as hell.

I would talk to him, ask him whats going on. I experienced somewhat of the same thing VERY recently... and it made me totally insecure. "Was it me? Was my breath bad, my lips chapped, just plain not attractive?"

I've heard that if a person is not into kissing at first, it really wont get better. If you feel it is important to a relationship, bring it out in the light first, so he knows how you feel about it. Dont wait around and hope for things to improve.

 

[SlickTony]

But kissing just feels so damn good. If I got as much kissing as I wanted, I swear I wouldn't gain any weight.

Starting sex off without kissing to me is like starting a car under the hood instead of using the ignition switch. It can be done, but it's not nearly as much fun, and usually it's because something's the matter with the car.

 

[badcollege_girl]

Thanks for all the input! We talked about it and it was intimacy issue... things are better now. Thanks!

 

[Noor]

How wild were you?!!!

And what did it take to get a surrogate kisser to work for you? And how did the kissie feel about n-ways?

I thought we were quite normal

we didn't smoke, drink or do drugs(well most of us didn't)

Didn't take anything to get her to do it, she liked kissing, esp tongue wrestling. We were best friends, the kisses didn't seem to mind, except one.

There was this one guy we met at a conference in DC, smell really interesting, had long blond curly hair like a dandelion, nice legs, soft skin, I got him down to his undies and he was really interested but he freaked out when she climbed in the bed with us. We didn't understand it but we just got up and went out for chinese