Kinda nervous...

[Question_Mark]

Well, I might be "having my first time" in a couple of days; the relationship seems to be heading that way, y'know? Thus the title. I'm just worried about my girlfriend. I'm not very large, and I'm afraid it might turn out to be less for her, or embarassing, or awkward, or...

You get the picture. I'm just wondering if you could fill me in on some other ways , besides intercourse, that I can guarantee pleasure for her.

...And me. I'm not that altruistic.

 

[Colton_White]

Lucky you,

I've never had any type of sexual activity with any man/woman/child/TS/dead/plastic doll,
So I'm not technically qualified to advice you on this matter.

but I've read it every where, Size DOES NOT matter.

As long as you keep her happy with your hands and tongue.

 

[SweetErika]

Is it HER first time?

Either way, focus on her pleasure and ask her to tell you what feels good and what doesn't, to guide you.

For most women, sex is about feeling good, not necessarily even orgasming or intercourse. So, if you're attentive and focused on giving her pleasure, teasing her, going slow, etc., it's likely to be great for her even if you have a 3" cock and don't last very long.

If you're going to use condoms, practice masturbating with them now, so you get used to putting one on and the feeling.

You might also consider masturbating before you get together if you think you're going to be prone to coming as soon as you enter her.

For ideas on foreplay and everything else, check out The Blank Manual sticky.

Above all else, have fun, be safe and remember if it goes awry (like most first times do!), you'll make it better in the future. It takes time to learn what works and what doesn't for any given person, so don't put too much pressure on yourself.

 

[carlisme]

I remember my first time....I was 16, she was 18. She had been with a guy before so knew how to kind of guide me along the right path. The deed only lasted a couple of minutes, but it was magical for me. Honestly, I didn't even think about my size or how I compared to others. This is an important point....


I would consider myself to be of average size (6 inches or so), but through the years I have learned how to "work it" and haven' had any complaints. I guess the point is to have fun and don't take yourself too seriously!

 

[VelvetDarkness]

If it is the girl's first time then, believe me, she does not want to be expected to accommodate a gargantuan penis. She'll be as nervous as you are and expecting it to hurt a little so your size will be the least of her worries.

In the UK, the average erect male penis (at age 21, when most men have stopped developing) is 5.34inches. If your paranoia is born of too many porn films then I am here to tell you that you have huge misconceptions about penis size. They hire guys with big dicks and then break out the wide angle lenses.

Women gain pleasure from the clitoris and the G Spot, which is usually 2in up on the front wall of the vagina. Beyond this point, length doesn't really matter and if you were too long you'd hurt her and be unable to do deeper positions so there are drawback to having a large penis.

Width is the same thing, a little is nice but too much means she'll get sore more quickly.

Regardless of size, you can enjoy giving and receiving oral sex. You can even both do this at the same time if you 69. There are a gadzillion threads on giving head so I won't comment on technique as women are all different (not unlike men.) Encourage her to be open and honest with you about things. I'm sure you want positive reassurance, but a considerate lover also wants to here about where and how he can improve. Knowledge is power, right?

Don't go planning anything too elaborate for the first time. She wants to connect with you and enjoy learning about you. Contorting her into the first ten pages of the Karma Sutra won't teach you anything about how her body works. Keep it simple and romantic would be my advice.

Erika's tips about condoms are a very good idea too.

 

[rtghj]

333333

 

[Snowman5933]

Go slow, be gentle, hold her and caress her.....if you do these things everything will be fine.

My first time, I had to get my roomate to buy condoms for me because I was embarassed about taking them to the register to pay for them. I undressed under the covers and literally came the second my cock entered her. I was devistated, but she seemed completely happy. With a little more experience it got alot better. I married that girl and now she complains that I take too long, but we have lots of fun together.

Take care and good luck.

Snowman

 

[Colton_White]

They hire guys with big dicks

aww.. that ruined my ambition of working in a porn movie. lol

Contorting her into the first ten pages of the Karma Sutra won't teach you anything about how her body works.

that's true, but let me quote some good stuff from Kama Sutra article on this website for the benefit of OP and enjoyment of the lurkers
=========================

...probably one of the most useful pieces of advice that the Kama Sutra has to offer however, especially for “newbies” to heterosexual coitus, echoes the 20th century findings of the Kinsey Report:

At the first time of sexual union the passion of the male is intense, and his time is short, but in subsequent unions on the same day the reverse of this is the case. With the female, however, it is the contrary, for at the first time her passion is weak, and then her time long, but on subsequent occasions on the same day, her passion is intense and her time short, until her passion is satisfied.

Which is more or less a way of saying that women take longer. For the average 18 year old male who wonders why he can’t make his girlfriend “cum” before he shoots his two-minute load,

sex need not be a hurried race to a speedy orgasmic finish. Rather, each lover should simply seek to enjoy the moment, and to connect with their beloved

One solution of course was to increase the amount of foreplay before coitus (when the choo-choo train goes in the tunnel), so that the “size-fit” of penis (“lingam”) and vagina (“yoni”) was not so important:

the signs of her want of enjoyment and of failing to be satisfied are as follows: she shakes her hands, she does not let the man get up, feels dejected, bites the man, kicks him, and continues to go on moving after the man has finished. In such cases the man should rub the yoni of the woman with his hand and fingers (as the elephant rubs anything with his trunk) before engaging in congress, until it is softened, and after that is done he should proceed to put his lingam into her.

the man might try slathering some weird-ass folk remedies on his penis to increase the size

First rub your penis with wasp stings
and massage it with sweet oil.
When it swells, let it dangle for ten nights
through a hole in your bed,
going to sleep each night on your stomach.

After this period use a cool ointment
to remove the pain and swelling.
By this method men ... of insatiable
sexual appetite, manage to keep
their penises enlarged throughout their lives.

----------
use it at your own risk.. I'm just copy pasting the interesting stuff article on Kamasutra.. in this
this website

 

[SweetErika]

Go slow, be gentle, hold her and caress her.....if you do these things everything will be fine.

My first time, I had to get my roomate to buy condoms for me because I was embarassed about taking them to the register to pay for them. I undressed under the covers and literally came the second my cock entered her. I was devistated, but she seemed completely happy. With a little more experience it got alot better. I married that girl and now she complains that I take too long, but we have lots of fun together.

Take care and good luck.

Snowman

Yep, it's crazy, but when we care about our partner and find the rest of the encounter enjoyable, most of us could care less about cock size or how long he lasts. I always take him coming quickly as a compliment and would much rather have him have a good orgasm because he relaxed into it/didn't hold back at the critical moment than try to stop it or worry about lasting long enough to the point where he has trouble coming.

Guys who focus on their cocks and providing the majority of my pleasure through intercourse are so not sexy to me. Men who focus on pleasing me without their cocks and the whole experience make the best lovers, IME.


But the real reason I posted is to say welcome back, Snowman! I know you've been busy (with school, IIRC), but you should know you've been missed and it's great to see you around, even every now and then. I hope everything has been going well for you in your absence!


We now return to our regularly scheduled Virgin Fears, Misconceptions and Realities programming...

 

[Snowman5933]

But the real reason I posted is to say welcome back, Snowman! I know you've been busy (with school, IIRC), but you should know you've been missed and it's great to see you around, even every now and then. I hope everything has been going well for you in your absence!

I don't know what to say, except thank you for such kind words. I've missed all the wonderful people on lit.

Snowman

 

[subwannabe]

Know that the majority of women do not achieve orgasm through intercourse. Since men usually lose the ability to please women after their orgasm, it is important to make sure the woman has her orgasm before you have yours. Other than that, most women will say size does not matter.

 

[CyberChas]

Since men usually lose the ability to please women after their orgasm...

As has been pointed out earlier in the thread, they only lose the ability to please the woman WITH THEIR COCK after orgasm (unless they are 18 and can stay hard or recharge quickly).

If only knowing how to "please a woman" were so easy.

But the hints above (especially tongue and fingers and perhaps even a small dildo) and I would add...

Care...
Compassion...
Communication...

Oh, and a really, really, really BIG sense of humor, cause the first few times you have sex, it's much more likely to be SILLY, FUNNY and SCREWED UP than it is likely to resemble the movies or books you've read.

But, above all, AFTERPLAY where you talk about what worked and what didn't work and what you would like to try next, and what you really don't care if you never do again, etc. etc.

 

[Question_Mark]

Thanks for all the advice.

However, I won't be needing it anytime soon. We broke up. More like she broke us up. To answer SweetErika, it wasn't her first time.

This really sucks...

 

[chelleb]

Thanks for all the advice.

However, I won't be needing it anytime soon. We broke up. More like she broke us up. To answer SweetErika, it wasn't her first time.

This really sucks...

Sorry to hear that!

Hang in there, I know for a fact there are women who go for younger guys. You'll find one who realizes the benefits of a younger guy.

 

[Question_Mark]

Thanks chelleb. Makes me feel a bit better that someone cares, even if it is only enough to write a post.

 

[SweetErika]

Thanks for all the advice.

However, I won't be needing it anytime soon. We broke up. More like she broke us up. To answer SweetErika, it wasn't her first time.

This really sucks...

I'm sorry it didn't work out like you'd hoped, Mark.

On the bright side, now you have the opportunity to find partners who are more compatible, and time to learn about being a good lover. And when you do find the right women, there's going to be a lot less anxiety and far more pleasure involved.

 

[Paxter]

Really sorry to hear about your break up Mark. But, as SweetE says you now have the opportunity to find someone more compatible. There are plenty more women out there and you sound like a nice guy. So good luck.