Debbie
Persnickety slattern
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2001
- Posts
- 24,213
A friend sent me these so I thought I'd share
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Ever notice how a 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adult voices?
Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit,
with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom
about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife Karey, apparently
scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the
guest bedroom that night.The next day, I talked to the children, and
explained that was O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but
when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They
said OK. After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children
picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was
late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's arrival,
along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers. As
I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting, "Hi,
Dad! I've got some good news!" As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's
the
good news?" "Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this
time!" Alex
shouted. The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area
looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to
see if they could tell who Mom was
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An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her
then four year old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left
her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began
playing with it. "Be still, my heart," thought my friend, "my
daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!" Then the child spoke into the
instrument:
"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
****************************************************************
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,"I'm Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong,she must say,
"I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and
said,
"Aren't you Mr.Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but Mom says I'm not"!
******************************************************************
A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the
boys?"
Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too
rough."
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If can find
a
smooth one, can I play with him"?
****************************************************************
At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came up to the altar
wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting down around
the pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, "That is a very pretty
dress. Is it your Easter dress?" The girl replied almost directly into
the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to
iron."
****************************************************************
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.She stands next
to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,eating a snack
cake.The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your
Twinkie."
She says, "Yes, I know. I'm gonna get boobies too."
********************************************************************
Ever notice how a 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adult voices?
Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit,
with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom
about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife Karey, apparently
scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the
guest bedroom that night.The next day, I talked to the children, and
explained that was O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but
when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They
said OK. After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children
picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was
late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's arrival,
along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers. As
I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting, "Hi,
Dad! I've got some good news!" As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's
the
good news?" "Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this
time!" Alex
shouted. The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area
looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to
see if they could tell who Mom was
****************************************************************
An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her
then four year old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left
her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began
playing with it. "Be still, my heart," thought my friend, "my
daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!" Then the child spoke into the
instrument:
"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
****************************************************************
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,"I'm Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong,she must say,
"I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and
said,
"Aren't you Mr.Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but Mom says I'm not"!
******************************************************************
A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the
boys?"
Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too
rough."
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If can find
a
smooth one, can I play with him"?
****************************************************************
At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came up to the altar
wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting down around
the pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, "That is a very pretty
dress. Is it your Easter dress?" The girl replied almost directly into
the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to
iron."
****************************************************************
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.She stands next
to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,eating a snack
cake.The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your
Twinkie."
She says, "Yes, I know. I'm gonna get boobies too."
