Key to Kallima's Heart

[ericviking69]

Fellow Lit.'s,

I have been challenged to find the key to Kallima's Heart. I need your help if an "experienced" is to successfully woo a "guru"

Please post your suggestions here or reply to my personal below.

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=109242

 

[Freya]

Kallima is a beautiful person, inside and out. I really don't think wooing her will have anything to do with how many posts you have...you'll just need to hone in somehow on a spot in that huge heart of hers, and spread your warmth enough that she won't be able to stop thinking about you. Be different though, she is a very unique person.

 

[Traveler32]

Viva la difference

Kallima is a beautiful person, inside and out. I really don't think wooing her will have anything to do with how many posts you have...you'll just need to hone in somehow on a spot in that huge heart of hers, and spread your warmth enough that she won't be able to stop thinking about you. Be different though, she is a very unique person.

Her beauty is evident her heart is manifest, and I'm different... off we gooooo.

 

[ericviking69]

Knowledge Starts to Flow

Can an "experienced" absorb the wisdom?

Thank you for the advice Freya2

 

[ericviking69]

Kallima is a beautiful person, inside and out. I really don't think wooing her will have anything to do with how many posts you have...you'll just need to hone in somehow on a spot in that huge heart of hers, and spread your warmth enough that she won't be able to stop thinking about you. Be different though, she is a very unique person.

Freya,

Any suggestions with your over 6000 posts on how to hone in on her heart?

You have over 100X as much experience as I. You also seem so very sensuous if your avatar is any indication....

 

[Freya]

Freya,

Any suggestions with your over 6000 posts on how to hone in on her heart?

You have over 100X as much experience as I. You also seem so very sensuous if your avatar is any indication....

Sorry no can do. You'll have to figure out the enigma that is Kallima, and work her well.

 

[Linedrive]

Kallima is sexy, seductive and likes to match wits. I think she appreciates a nice body, but she also needs to be stimulated and have someone to challenge her mind. While she has the wild, crazy side to her, she also has a solid moral foundation. She is unimpressed by 'attention seekers', 'big mouths' or 'overly cocky people'. The man for her is the one that lands at the center point of kinky and kind...a good mixture of both.

In short, you should try to be like me....kiddin'. Good luck.

 

[ericviking69]

Other wise counsel

Sorry no can do. You'll have to figure out the enigma that is Kallima, and work her well.

I have been told that a self confident man who just gives a hint of a smile, maybe reaches for something off a high shelf for us or shares a knowing nod when another man annoys a lady was considerably more likely to have a conversation with a lady.

Furthermore, once that initial connection is made, the lady wants that guy to continue paying attention, to "bump" into her with a smile, a wink, a light touch of the hand in passing. The subtle approach but with a touch of cocky self-confidence usually won out. A guy has to be a man and not an awkward boy or an obviously roving Romeo to appeal to ladies that interested me.
I concluded that there must something highly erotic about a man who knows he doesn't need to act like a jerk.

Am I getting close?

 

[ericviking69]

Kallima is sexy, seductive and likes to match wits. I think she appreciates a nice body, but she also needs to be stimulated and have someone to challenge her mind. While she has the wild, crazy side to her, she also has a solid moral foundation. She is unimpressed by 'attention seekers', 'big mouths' or 'overly cocky people'. The man for her is the one that lands at the center point of kinky and kind...a good mixture of both.

In short, you should try to be like me....kiddin'. Good luck.

well at least we both have beards...

 

[kkceohcs]

So you want answers, well We want answers FIRST...

Application to Date My Kallima?


NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, driving record, lineage, and current certified medical report (including drug tests) from your doctor.
1. NAME _______________________________
DATE OF BIRTH ___________________

2. HEIGHT ______________ WEIGHT __________
I.Q _______ G.P.A.____________

3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _________________
DRIVERS LICENSE # __________________

4. BOY SCOUT RANK_____________________

5. HOME ADDRESS _________________________
CITY/STATE ______________
ZIP __________

6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?___
If No, EXPLAIN ________________________
______________________________

7. Number of years your parents have been married________

8. Do you own a van? ______
A truck with oversized tires? ______
A waterbed? _________
Do you have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or a tattoo?
__________
(If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises)

9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________

10. In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
___________________________________
____________________________________
_____________________________________

11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
__________________________________
___________________________________
____________________________________

12. Church you attend ________________________
How often do you attend ______________________

13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? _____________________

14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)

a) If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is
___________________________

b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my
____________________________

c) A woman's place is in the
_____________________________

d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
______________________________

e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is
_______________________

( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low. Running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

15. What do you want to be IF you grow up?
____________________________________


I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.

________________________________________
Signature( That means your name, moron)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If you do attempt any communication before your application is approved, automatic disqualification will result. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (You might want to watch your back).

Do you still want to date my daughter?:

_____ Yes, please accept my application

_____ I um, no, I uh, think I have the wrong house...



Complete this questionnaire then we will determine if you are a suitable suitor....Maw wheres ma shotguhn

 

[ericviking69]

Getting Worried

I thought I was tough demanding that any one who wanted to date my daughter take a calculus test?

 

[Linedrive]

LOL @ KK

 

[kkceohcs]

Oh you didnt want to date her...just have your way....Well then Thats Different....

This FUCK BUDDY call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____ day of __________, 20__, by__________________, between _________________ and ________________.

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over-unless the fucking is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM-we don't have fucking shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit-only mind-blowing sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions - Example: Where are we heading with this? Do you love me? The answer is fuck no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of town, then it's only a one-time advance arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your fucking damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just fuck buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your fucking ass up and go home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't really fucking care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style preferred - just hit it hard and right or get the fuck out!
18. Reason for doggie style: the less the contact, the better.
19. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME - so don't keep calling.
20. The most important one - no condoms, no sex. Carry your ass home.
21. Bring your own drink - I am not your fucking liquor store.
22. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.

Participating Party

Signature:_______________________________________

Date: ________________

Signature:_______________________________________

Date: ________________

This a legal and binding document between both parties listed.
__________________

See what the difference is?

 

[Linedrive]

Re: Oh you didnt want to date her...just have your way....Well then Thats Different....

11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.

I'm glad you covered this one KK, I don't want anyone pissed when she is moaning "Guuuuuuuuuunner"

 

[kkceohcs]

Re: Re: Oh you didnt want to date her...just have your way....Well then Thats Different....

I'm glad you covered this one KK, I don't want anyone pissed when she is moaning "Guuuuuuuuuunner"

OOps, I know you meant kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk



Kallima, clean out you pm box, love, I got a dousie for you...

kk

 

[ericviking69]

Instruction

KK and Gunner,

I think we might be getting some useful information at this point.

Do we have any actual successes to use to build a reference database for a Monte Carlo simulation?

 

[ericviking69]

Is there a middle ground?

KK,

Is there something in between a date and a fuck fest?

I think Kallima will require a little more rmance and passion ...

at least from an "experienced" as opposed to a "guru"

 

[Linedrive]

Well Viking, I am not gonna do the work for you...BUT, Kalli has answered a bunch of the sex polls I have posted recently on my thread (Gunner Dailey's Sextionary-am pics). If you went through the last 10 pages, you might get some of the answers you are seeking. Once you have done this, come snatch the fly from the air with the chopsticks, and you might be ready?

 

[ericviking69]

Well Viking, I am not gonna do the work for you...BUT, Kalli has answered a bunch of the sex polls I have posted recently on my thread (Gunner Dailey's Sextionary-am pics). If you went through the last 10 pages, you might get some of the answers you are seeking. Once you have done this, come snatch the fly from the air with the chopsticks, and you might be ready?

Thank you Master Gunner...(with a bow)

 

[kkceohcs]

hehehe

She is a lovely vision...

kk

 

[ericviking69]

Re: hehehe

She is a lovely vision...

kk

Kallima is more than a lovely vision...

Her passions are enough to make a man lose control...

Her scent only can arouse you...

Her voice soothes the savage beast...

It will tame even a barbarian...

 

[kkceohcs]

Re: Re: hehehe

Kallima is more than a lovely vision...

Her passions are enough to make a man lose control...

Her scent only can arouse you...

Her voice soothes the savage beast...

It will tame even a barbarian...

She may tame a Barbarian...but that would have killed a VIking long before....

kk

 

[ericviking69]

Re: Re: Re: hehehe

She may tame a Barbarian...but that would have killed a VIking long before....

kk

but what a way to go....

 

[ericviking69]

Only in my dreams

Alas,

With so little useful advise I fear that I will never get beyond just dreams and fantasy...

 

[Linedrive]

Re: Only in my dreams

Alas,

With so little useful advise I fear that I will never get beyond just dreams and fantasy...

That's why God invented Vaseline