KC has been thinking too much again

[Kajira Callista]

Does anyone involved with BDSM actually have sexual relations with children? Here is why I ask. Why is that always on a BDSM checklist and why do people actually ask if that is a limit. It has never occured to me that it could be a limit because it never crossed my mind that it was part of BDSM or anything anyone would wanna be doing anyway...unless emotionally unstable. And lets not forget to mention it is against the law. I don't feel I need to state it as a limit ...ever, because its ridiculous.
So does anyone else have problems with some of the so called "hard limit" things not even being a part of this life we live?

 

[graceanne]

Does anyone involved with BDSM actually have sexual relations with children? Here is why I ask. Why is that always on a BDSM checklist and why do people actually ask if that is a limit. It has never occured to me that it could be a limit because it never crossed my mind that it was part of BDSM or anything anyone would wanna be doing anyway...unless emotionally unstable. And lets not forget to mention it is against the law. I don't feel I need to state it as a limit ...ever, because its ridiculous.
So does anyone else have problems with some of the so called "hard limit" things not even being a part of this life we live?

I think that no matter where you go, you'll find pedophiles, and that includes BDSM. I don't necessarily think that phedophilia and BDSM are exlusive of eachother, and it irritates me when people add it to our checklists. BDSM does not equal perversion. Just cause someone's into BDSM does not make them a child abuser and life destroyer. Frankly, it's never even been discussed by me and K. It's too nasty, to vile to even be something that needs discussion. I mean . . . it so would never happen, and if he were to bring it up for discussion me and my kids would be on the next bus to my mothers.

 

[Netzach]

You know, it is a little silly, it's like putting down "disembowling with fork" on a checklist. Still there might be someone gung ho on the notion, good to know rather than not. Who's going to be stupid enough to admit it in writing?

Someone.

 

[ownedsubgal]

actually you would be surprised, there are quite a few people out there who would admit that they engage in sexual activities (or wish to) with minors, even children. so i suppose that is why it is on checklists, because it's one of those things most people would kinda want to know upfront. would you rather be surprised after meeting someone new and getting along great with them, and all of a sudden he/she confesses a penchant for sex with kids?

 

[catalina_francisco]

You know, it is a little silly, it's like putting down "disembowling with fork" on a checklist. Still there might be someone gung ho on the notion, good to know rather than not. Who's going to be stupid enough to admit it in writing?

Someone.

LOL, well I communicated with a so called dom who professed an interest in children and went so far as to tell me about some of his experiences to date which BTW I didn't see had any BDSM connections. Needless to say I didn't bother meeting him. I guess the reason it is stated is because it is safer sometimes to state the obvious incaase it just isn't obvious to someone else, thus anything that pops into someone's head then needs to be listed to make it all clear and stated.

Bit like when people say they are in a no limits TPE relationship and others set out to prove they do have limits by naming the most disgusting, dangerous, and horrendous things they can come up with.....or when you say you live 24/7 and are told it is impossible to whip another 24/7 so you can't live a 24/7 lifestyle. Safer to state it up front than have to go through all the BS afterwards when told you must be into it because you never mentioned it as a limit.

Catalina

 

[FungiUg]

Adds "disembowling with a fork" to his check-list.

Not that I would, of course. I'd use a spoon.

 

[FungiUg]

Does anyone involved with BDSM actually have sexual relations with children?

I think there are some grey areas about getting involved with children, particularly around the 16 year old mark. I mean, we have a thread on here about "how old is not old enough", right? So I suspect that the grey area does come up.

Me, I try to avoid anyone younger than 18, and the youngest I've played with (BDSM or not) has been in her 20s.

In a way, I suspect it's also become part of a "PC" face to BDSM. "Look, we don't play with kids, so really we're not THAT bad." Take that as you will.

I've created a Silly Limits thread over in the cafe, for anyone who has the urge to build a nutty check list.

 

[Kajira Callista]

actually you would be surprised, there are quite a few people out there who would admit that they engage in sexual activities (or wish to) with minors, even children. so i suppose that is why it is on checklists, because it's one of those things most people would kinda want to know upfront. would you rather be surprised after meeting someone new and getting along great with them, and all of a sudden he/she confesses a penchant for sex with kids?

Right...but is it BDSM related, i mean are ya gonna find a question like that on a nilla type checklist for dating?

 

[Kajira Callista]

You know, it is a little silly, it's like putting down "disembowling with fork" on a checklist. Still there might be someone gung ho on the notion, good to know rather than not. Who's going to be stupid enough to admit it in writing?

Someone.

well if it were Netzach doing the disembowling.....................

 

[Kajira Callista]

Re: Re: KC has been thinking too much again

I think there are some grey areas about getting involved with children, particularly around the 16 year old mark. I mean, we have a thread on here about "how old is not old enough", right? So I suspect that the grey area does come up.

Me, I try to avoid anyone younger than 18, and the youngest I've played with (BDSM or not) has been in her 20s.

In a way, I suspect it's also become part of a "PC" face to BDSM. "Look, we don't play with kids, so really we're not THAT bad." Take that as you will.

I've created a Silly Limits thread over in the cafe, for anyone who has the urge to build a nutty check list.

when i think of children...its not an 18 yr old that i think of, is that what it means on a checklist? because then i would have to think about it.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Re: Re: KC has been thinking too much again

I think that no matter where you go, you'll find pedophiles, and that includes BDSM. I don't necessarily think that phedophilia and BDSM are exlusive of eachother, and it irritates me when people add it to our checklists. BDSM does not equal perversion. Just cause someone's into BDSM does not make them a child abuser and life destroyer. Frankly, it's never even been discussed by me and K. It's too nasty, to vile to even be something that needs discussion. I mean . . . it so would never happen, and if he were to bring it up for discussion me and my kids would be on the next bus to my mothers.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Right...but is it BDSM related, i mean are ya gonna find a question like that on a nilla type checklist for dating?

You might have missed a subtle variation. Think conduct activities within the sensory awareness of children. Some non-BDSM couples find no problem with children hearing the sounds of lovemaking. Others fuck like mice with oilcans in case of squeaks. Kick it up a notch ... some BDSM couples might condone bondage behind a locked door, while others see no problem with the loud skin on skin sound of a slap, or spanking.

Here's the deal. Regardless of how much it squicks your sensitive souls, most of our parents continued fucking after you were born. Most of them did their best to hide that fact from us.

i distinctly remember shock in the days running up to my high school graduation while riding with my father, one of his younger buddies (a fellow trooper close to my age), and a close friend my age that i'd known since 9th grade. The young trooper complimented me on my girlfriend at the time, and my father immediately made a comment about wishing he were young again "tapping" something that fine. It took me aback until i realized my father had complimented me by discussing a heretofore subject treated with much hush hush and dignity as one male to another.

i came home in the early morning after one of several graduation parties in the area to the sound of squeaking bed coils. When Dad walked into the kitchen, i held up my hand, he did so hesitantly, not sure what i meant. i high fived him and went downstairs to bed without another word. i heard him laughing quietly from the bottom of the stairs.

 

[RJMasters]

KC,

I am mostly copying and pasting this from the other thread...as it still is my take on this. I wholeheartedly agree with your original post.

I am like a compass...and my needle will always point true north when it comes to this subject. I don't think non-consenting sex...is BDSM either( a consenting rape scene is totally different). And since I feel BDSM is only an activity that person can engage in with another human being, that leaves out animals in my way of thinking( and well yuk ).

-------------------------

I don't think any of the first set listed below are limits as I do not think they are part of BDSM to begin with. My reason is they "clearly" fall outside SSC and therefore are not even on the radar. In the four listed below no "consent" can be obtained, which any "sane" person would deem appropriate, and the risk of STD's as well as the physical and psychological damage to the victums of forced sex...well its just not safe period.


Animals/Beastiality
Forced Homosexual Sex
Forced Heterosexual Sex
Children

--------------------------


HQ this is BRAVO WISKEY CHARLIE TWO FOUR NINER...the LZ is hot...I say again the LZ is hot

 

[Kajira Callista]

KC,

I am mostly copying and pasting this from the other thread...as it still is my take on this. I wholeheartedly agree with your original post.

I am like a compass...and my needle will always point true north when it comes to this subject. I don't think non-consenting sex...is BDSM either( a consenting rape scene is totally different). And since I feel BDSM is only an activity that person can engage in with another human being, that leaves out animals in my way of thinking( and well yuk ).

-------------------------

I don't think any of the first set listed below are limits as I do not think they are part of BDSM to begin with. My reason is they "clearly" fall outside SSC and therefore are not even on the radar. In the four listed below no "consent" can be obtained, which any "sane" person would deem appropriate, and the risk of STD's as well as the physical and psychological damage to the victums of forced sex...well its just not safe period.


Animals/Beastiality
Forced Homosexual Sex
Forced Heterosexual Sex
Children

--------------------------


HQ this is BRAVO WISKEY CHARLIE TWO FOUR NINER...the LZ is hot...I say again the LZ is hot

why are you putting weird spy messages in your posts?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

why are you putting weird spy messages in your posts?

He's indicating his belief the thread has possibilities of heated discussion written all over it.

 

[Kajira Callista]

He's indicating his belief the thread has possibilities of heated discussion written all over it.

OK... are you the only one who understood that, or am I the only one who didn't?

 

[A's Sweet Baby]

OK... are you the only one who understood that, or am I the only one who didn't?

Nope KC, i am right along with you .. had no clue what RJM was talking about.

 

[navarre]

OK... are you the only one who understood that, or am I the only one who didn't?

It's a guy thing.

 

[Mr Blonde]

I knew a submissive woman who revealed to me that she wanted to be "forced" to sleep with young virgin males (12-14 years old?) and give them their first experience. That revelation was a large factor in my decision to cut off the courtship with this young lady (she was around 23-24 years old).

So yes, it is reality that such things happen and I had to conclude it was something I wanted no part of.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

i find it odd considering KC's indirect reference and RJ's direct reference to a particular thread. Pay a little closer attention to the "lively exchange of different ideas on a subject" threads. i don't thrive on conflict, but i do like it when we actually discuss differences in opinions. It ain't about whose BDSM is better ... just what we think it actually is and probably one of the reasons we're here.

Click me.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Right...but is it BDSM related, i mean are ya gonna find a question like that on a nilla type checklist for dating?

it may be BDSM or D/s (which i think can include many things that fall outside of BDSM generally) related, yes, definitely.

 

[ownedsubgal]

I knew a submissive woman who revealed to me that she wanted to be "forced" to sleep with young virgin males (12-14 years old?) and give them their first experience. That revelation was a large factor in my decision to cut off the courtship with this young lady (she was around 23-24 years old).

So yes, it is reality that such things happen and I had to conclude it was something I wanted no part of.

i know the perfect man for her...i served a Dominant once who, after i had satiated him sexually, expressed to me that i would be "perfect" to be his 13 yr old son's first sexual experience...would teach him how a woman is "supposed" to be. fortunately my Master wasn't down with that idea.

 

[esclave_PP]

I suppose (and please don't shoot me!) that the idea of children comes from a role of complete dominance and control? Of wanting such a subsurvient being as a child. However, being a mom myself, it makes no sense to me since most kids are pretty bratty and being a survivor of incest the idea does repulse me. That said, I can't judge people or their decisions. I find it repugnant, but after all, one of the all time amazing books is Lolita. Perhaps there is such a taboo around children because they are simply...children. The BDSM connection would be in the control is my assumption.

 

[graceanne]

Re: Re: Re: KC has been thinking too much again

when i think of children...its not an 18 yr old that i think of, is that what it means on a checklist? because then i would have to think about it.

Well, I gotta admit when I think children I think well children. I personally would have nothing to do with a minor, either, but the thought of someone having sex with a like 16 year old doesn't gross me out anywhere near as much as a small child, like mine.

 

[graceanne]

You might have missed a subtle variation. Think conduct activities within the sensory awareness of children. Some non-BDSM couples find no problem with children hearing the sounds of lovemaking. Others fuck like mice with oilcans in case of squeaks. Kick it up a notch ... some BDSM couples might condone bondage behind a locked door, while others see no problem with the loud skin on skin sound of a slap, or spanking.

Here's the deal. Regardless of how much it squicks your sensitive souls, most of our parents continued fucking after you were born. Most of them did their best to hide that fact from us.

[hijack]
I strongly suspect that was directed at me.

I just want to say that i don't have a problem with the thought of my parents having sex, it's them having sex together! To understand this you need to know that my parents seperated when I was two. I have absoulutely no problem thinking of them having sex with their current SO's, or anyone else they screwed since then. To tell the truth they are and always have been quite candid about the sex. (As in waaaay too much information.) I'm just in denial about my parents together. *shudders*

[/hijack]