Justified rant

[Svenskaflicka]

About 4 years ago, me and my then-husband got in debt. We got a state funding thingy for living, and then they miscalculated things, as they always do, and we ended up owing the state 6.000:- SEK.

At the same time, we got divorced. Now, the law says that we had to pay 50% each of this debt. I protested, tellling my husband that it was unfair that I should have to pay 50% of the debt when I had never got 50% of the household income while er were married. If he had been so fucking law-abiding, he should have shared his salary with me. (Yes, it was a very bad marriage.)
I couldn't pay my part, because I was living on social security. Mum felt sorry for me, and was afraid that I would have to pay one helluva interest, so before I had managed to persuade my then-husband to pay a more fair share, mum had paid 50% of the debt.

That left about 3.000:- SEK for him to pay. From what I've gathered, he made up some kind of payment plan, and paid off the debt little by little, which can't have been all that hard for him to do, considering that shortly after our divorce, he moved to Stockholm and got a well-paid job working for Arlanda airport. I know for a fact that he made enough money to do a lot of travelling to other countries. I don't know why he chose to spend his money on entertainment instead of paying off his debt, but that's what he did.

Two days ago, I got a letter, where the institution to which he owns money is charging ME for the remainder of his debt, since we're registered for this debt together, and, I guess, since they can't get hold of him.
He's left the country. Without paying what's left of his debt.

Does anyone care to know how come I divorced such a gem of a man?

 

[MathGirl]

Does anyone care to know how come I divorced such a gem of a man

Hiya, Svenska,
Ummm... do we have any choice?
MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I was being sarcastic, little one. When you're older, you'll learn what that means.

 

[destinie21]

I was being sarcastic, little one. When you're older, you'll learn what that means.

Whoa look at you with all the bared fangs and venom.
I'm gonna trad lightly the following are questions I'm really interested in knowing the answers to.

1. Is there anyway you can contest the debt
Ie (was your name linked with the initial ddebt via liability or was it simply linked because you were married to the SOB)

2. If you could contest it how long would it take?

3. Does your system of government garnish wages to regain owed funds?

 

[Svenskaflicka]

1. No. We were married when we got in debt, so that means that we're both responsible for paying it. Who pays what is up to us to fight about.
2. Forever.
3. Do you mean if they can take it right out of my salary? Uhmmmm... I'm not sure. I think so, yes. Since it's the state we own money to, and not a company...

 

[sweetnpetite]

Reason to never marry!

I have seen this happen too many times. They ALWAYS go after the woman for the ex-husbands debt. I don't know, maybe they think we are easier to intimidate. Maybe we are just easier to find sence we have the kids and cant take off on a moments notice and disapear (although it also happens to my friends with no kids) They should make a law against harrassing a woman for her ex's debts. This 50/50 rule is total crap- especially since, when you divorce they don't automatically devide the *assets* like that. What the fuck!!!!

Yes you are totally justified in your rant. Sometimes a rule that looks *fair* is really just a sexist way for men to avoid their responsibilies and for women to get the shaft. (annd not in the good way)

 

[raphy]

Re: Reason to never marry!

I have seen this happen too many times. They ALWAYS go after the woman for the ex-husbands debt.

Trust me, not always....

Raphy, who up until recently was still paying for shit he bought 6 years ago and doesn't even own anymore

p.s. So I feel your pain, SF - It sucks, and not in a good way.

 

[Seattle Zack]

Re: Reason to never marry!

This 50/50 rule is total crap- especially since, when you divorce they don't automatically devide the *assets* like that.

Um ... actually, here in Washington, that's exactly what they do.
Unless you have enough sense to have the future ex-wife sign a pre-nup.
(Which I didn't).
--Zack

 

[raphy]

To (mis)quote Rod Stewart..

"Next time I'm not going to bother getting married. I'm just going to find a woman I don't like a buy her a house."

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Amen, sister. Oh, you're gonna love this!

I called them up and told them the truth; that I'm on social security, and he has left the country. Guess what they do in situations like that?
They put the debt on hold, until a) they can find my ex-husband, or b) I get a job, and they can force ME to pay what's missing. And to make the deal even sweeter - the interest rate is 11% / day...

I talked to mum. She knows where to find my ex, he still calls her once or twice a year. She says that she's going to pay what's left of this debt, and then tell him to pay her the same amount.

I asked her to send him a little message from me, telling him that a) I'm pissed off by his rudeness, and b) leaving the country and skipping the bills liek he has done - is a crime.

Hopefully the SOB will have problems ever returning to this country..!

 

[Icingsugar]

3. Do you mean if they can take it right out of my salary? Uhmmmm... I'm not sure. I think so, yes. Since it's the state we own money to, and not a company...

I'm not entirely sure, but I think that happened to a friend of mine about a year ago. If you want to I'll ask him and get back to ya on that.

 

[Icingsugar]

Amen, sister. Oh, you're gonna love this!

I called them up and told them the truth; that I'm on social security, and he has left the country. Guess what they do in situations like that?
They put the debt on hold, until a) they can find my ex-husband, or b) I get a job, and they can force ME to pay what's missing. And to make the deal even sweeter - the interest rate is 11% / day...

I talked to mum. She knows where to find my ex, he still calls her once or twice a year. She says that she's going to pay what's left of this debt, and then tell him to pay her the same amount.

I asked her to send him a little message from me, telling him that a) I'm pissed off by his rudeness, and b) leaving the country and skipping the bills liek he has done - is a crime.

Hopefully the SOB will have problems ever returning to this country..!

That's the right way to go. The guv'ment is a bunch of slippery bastards, and if they have their mind set on something, reasoning with common sense is not going to help. 3000:- is afair pile of money, but not impossible to gather up with the help of some good friends (or Ma )

Then, when you have all paperwork done and you are 100% in the clear, that's when it's time to grab the blowtorch and go find the prick that put you in such a mess.


Oh, and I just became Really Really Experienced. What's that supposed to mean? Am I cool yet?

 

[destinie21]

3. Do you mean if they can take it right out of my salary? Uhmmmm... I'm not sure. I think so, yes. Since it's the state we own money to, and not a company...

Yes all they would need is his ssn so that if and when he gets a job they can get their $.

 

[ffreak]

Welcome to the world of equal and several, kiddo. That means they try to collect the full amount from both of you - one, or the other, or both - and some places take advantage of the situation and try to justify collecting the full amount from both of you. Do you have any laws in Sweden that require you to publish in a local paper that you are not responsible for the another person's debts? If so you may be able to retain a lawyer to make such a declaration or at least present that since you did not incur the debts and have paid a fair share, and since you were divorced (or separated) when he agreed to whatever payment plan, that you are not responsible for this bum's failed, post marital agreements,

***** added in edit *****
Or (since I lost connection and when I go back you were already sying your mother, who is being way too nice to this %$# just to keep her baby out of trouble - a good thing, parents do that, I have, and they're still a bunch of &%^$#%^$#!), anyway is there a recovery option? Can you sue the so and so, win because he won't appear to defend his 'interest', and have the lawyers waiting to jump on him to collect their bite out of the pie should he ever step foot in any country where they have recipricol agreements with other lawyers? (very important to get a lawyer who will take 1/2 as their payment - they'll add the cost of recovery to the bill and really get even more - plus add for medical bills for the therapy)
*****

-FF (can't get blood from turnips, or water out of a rock)

ps. I'd advise getting a crooked lawyer, but that's redundant

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Well, it's not as bad as 3.000:- SEK anymore. My ex (who from now on will be referred to simply as The SOB) had actually managed to pay off a lot of it during the past 4 years... (4 years! 4 years AND he had a well-paid job! And he still didn't pay all of it, but instead wasted his money on toys! )

Thanks for all your support and advice, guys and gals! *hugs all around*

I'm gonna try first by letting mum loose on tracking him down and getting the money out of him. IF that doesn't work, IF he doesn't pay back what he owes her, then I'll snoop through her things until I find his new address and phone number, and then I'm gonna send this to the authorities.
I suppose they won't be able to squeeze any money out of him from over there, but I'll make sure that little rat doesn't set foot in this country again!

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Washington is a community property state, so only wealth and assets acquired during the marriage are subject to a 50/50 split.

Women (or men) aren't entitled to any part of their spouse's pre-existing lucre.

For Seattle Zack, I guess they must have assumed that because that was money acquired during your marriage, your wife must have been supporting you and contributing in some way- either as a domestic partner or producer.

While I am neither the housefrau type nor a marriage proponent, I rather support community property as a nice way to avoid alimony, and yet not completely screw homemakers.

mlle

 

[MathGirl]

Oh, and I just became Really Really Experienced. What's that supposed to mean? Am I cool yet?

Dear Ici,
If you need to ask, probably not.
MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Us Swedes are ALWAYS cool. It's a climate thing.

 

[gauchecritic]

Iceboy has been cool since about post 12. If you need an explanation then you don't know what cool is either.

On the debt. If you both signed the agreement for the money then you are joint and severally responsible. If one of you signed it alone then the other is not responsible. Not over here anyway.

Gauche

 

[Guest]

My best friend is divorcing a man who in several years of marriage never held a job more than a few months and was fired from the last for stealing wine. Over the marriage time my friend loaned him about $60,000 to start his own business which lasted a few months. His wife has already given him the deed to the family van. He has hardly paid 2% of the total attention given to his 2 and 4 year old sons (who are amazingly happy thanks to their mom).

Nothing was signed but the marriage license. He is asking for joint custody, child support and alimony. He may get it, per California law.

Perdita

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Over here, a married couple have to share everything 50-50; income, debts, household appliances in case of a divorce...

 

[MathGirl]

Does your system of government garnish wages to regain owed funds?

Dear Des,
I've always thought a sprig of parsley, a sprinkle of thyme, and a lemon wedge did wonders.
Presentationally,
MG

 

[destinie21]

Dear Des,
I've always thought a sprig of parsley, a sprinkle of thyme, and a lemon wedge did wonders.
Presentationally,
MG

A little salt and you've got yourself a deal little lady.
Though I much perfer the orange as the citrus in any ganishment.

 

[Guest]

You made me laugh, MG. Wish I'd thought of your presentation when I had my wages garnished the other way by the feds (when I couldn't pay my taxes because my ex-husband and father of my sons wouldn't help with child support).

Perdita

 

[oggbashan]

I used to get my secondhand computers from a two man business locally.

They were partners and had signed a partnership agreement because the bank wouldn't lend them money unless they had a legal agreement between them. They also had to put up their houses as equity for the loan to buy the premises they worked from. It was unequal because one had a one bedroom flat; the other had a 3 bedroom house.

Then the one-bed flat partner started coming to work hours late. The other partner protested so the other came early and left early. Things were getting strained. Then one Monday the one-bed partner didn't turn up at all. His partner rang the flat. The phone was no longer available.

At the end of the day he went home to his house to find a letter from his SO. She had left him for the other partner "because you spend all your time at the business".

Between the one-bed partner and the SO they had sold the flat, mortgaged the house and business premises, cleaned out the business and personal bank accounts and emigrated to Spain leaving that Monday morning. It took the remaining partner a week to find all that out.

He had no SO, no house, no business, no money and debts over £100,000 once all assets had been realised. That was ten years ago. He is still trying to pay off the debt. His former partner and former SO own a bar in Spain but cannot be sued in the Spanish courts.

A similar thing happened to a business associate. His partner ran off with my friend's wife and all the money. My friend took advice and went bankrupt. Three years later he could start again but the former partner and wife are still being harrassed by the banks and have been prosecuted for fraud. If they don't pay they go to jail. Their mistake was to stay in the UK.

Og